Privacy and gossip in Thailand, and...

[infinity11]

i think i have lost a good deal of privacy in thailand
everyone wants to know everything and tell everyone else about it

or something like that

How do YOU find and keep your privacy and reduce the gossip?
or

How do you best adapt to this cultural phenomenon?

or

Please, elaborate on your insights into this.

Thank you!

[infinity11]

question 4 - is there a proper polite way of saying respect my privacy and mind your own business or that simply does not fly in Thailand?

[CWMcMurray]

Just don't answer clearly... That's what Thais do...

Where are you going.. ... Have to run some errands..

How much is your salary?.... Not that much...

How much do weigh?.... I don't know....

Just respond with vague answers and they will get the picture... And is not considered rude...

But to flip out and say ' don't invade my privacy '... Considered rude

[WhamBam]

Tell them everything while letting them know nothing. Be like a politician when you answer.

[wow64]

Would discuss this but dont want to gossip.

Sent from my c64

[lazygourmet]

Just upgrade your social circles...

[Crazy chef 1]

do as the Thai's do: lie...

[krisb]

Sounds like village life to me.

Usually it's the local ladies all getting together and gossiping and gossiping. ......and gossiping.

[TheFishman1]

Lose lips sink ships

[Swamp Thing]

I tell a different story to each nosey b'stard I meet.

That must lead to some interesting gossip.

[Toknarok]

Never say "Mai chai thura khon khun' (mind your own business) unless it is said in a joking or frivolous way, otherwise you are likely to have a very upset Thai on your hands.

[Costas2008]

If you have nothing to hide, why would you be afraid of others knowing?

Only dubious people try to hide from others.

Hope you are not one of them...........

[Rooo]

Moved to Expat Life.

[sdanielmcev]

I guess it depends on if the gossip is good or bad. But, then, isn't a forum kinda gossip?

[inbangkok]

Just don't engage in it. Plain and simple. You never have to answer anything you don't want to and you never have to expose any part of yourself or personal life that you don't wan to. Simple. I agree with you that Thai people seemed really into gossip and invading others privacy..... But that does not mean you have to. Just don't engage. So simple.

[inbangkok]

If you have nothing to hide, why would you be afraid of others knowing?

Only dubious people try to hide from others.

Hope you are not one of them...........

I sorry, but you are soooo off base here. I am a private person..... Not a dubious one. Big difference. People like you may not understand people like me and that is fine. But to call us "dubious" and the classic "if you have nothing to hide" is just ridiculous. I like to keep things on low and maintain a certain level of privacy...... That is my personal choice and it fits my personality...... Plain and simple.

[Suradit69]

How do YOU find and keep your privacy and reduce the gossip?

Sort of ironic that you ask this question on Thai Visa, the hub of gossip,of character assassination, for washing one's dirty laundry, and where even your death means you'll become the source of speculation & the focus of childish humor.

A bit like going into a crowded pub and asking the best way to avoid meeting drunks.

Anyway, to your question, I don't try to make myself the center of all conversations nor do I pretend that I'm the center of the universe and I try to behave myself ... at least while being observed. And most importantly I don't think every time I see two or more people chatting that they must be talking about me.

[petercool]

an off topic post removed

[micmichd]

Pssst...

A gentleman doesn't need to lie, he can notice the gossip, and keep his privacy with a smile, stating to the public that he is over rumours

[MrBrad]

If you have nothing to hide, why would you be afraid of others knowing?

Only dubious people try to hide from others.

Hope you are not one of them...........

I sorry, but you are soooo off base here. I am a private person..... Not a dubious one. Big difference. People like you may not understand people like me and that is fine. But to call us "dubious" and the classic "if you have nothing to hide" is just ridiculous. I like to keep things on low and maintain a certain level of privacy...... That is my personal choice and it fits my personality...... Plain and simple.

I always find this response to desiring privacy incredulous and ridiculous. If you, Costas, are such an open soul, give me your wallet and your cell phone for a few minutes.

Chances are that you would not appreciate my examining the contents of your wallet, nor the records on your cell phone. What are you hiding? Now who's dubious?

And if you are among the select few who would have no problem with handing over all of your private information, rest assured that there are lots and lots of innocent people who prefer privacy in some parts of their lives.

[maderaroja]

question 4 - is there a proper polite way of saying respect my privacy and mind your own business or that simply does not fly in Thailand?

I use the same as I do in Texas; "It's none of your business . . ."

[Shiver]

I walked into a local restaurant/bar one day and they were all very surprised to see me. I asked why? I was told that they had been informed that I had both arms and both legs broken. I checked myself for breakages then gazed back at them. I asked who told them. "I don't know...." was the response.

[soundtrack]

Best way is to learn from Thai people. Just smile and nobody will feel hurt. Then say that you do not have a regular salary, or that question regarding your family are sourcing sour feeling of your life....and so on.....

Ask them the same same questions they ask you. Always smiling ...

You save your privacy and yourc social life in Thailand

[Nemesis7]

Gossip is part of this culture.

Be as diplomatic as possible and simply answer as less as possible but surely you are in the wrong crowd.

[micmichd]

Good idea, in fact I do the same, I just use body language for that.

I'm not very reluctant to tell my personal history to people I trust, I tell it in small pieces only, and watch out for any rumours. If there are any, I feel free to reply or ignore them with a smile.

Of course, I keep some privacy to myself: passwords, PIN codes, nicknames or user names resp. Privacy is also possible if you have a cell phone, mine will be automatically locked, and it needs face recognition and a password to unlock it, so I even have control over it when I let someone else use it. Same same with credit card, as long as nobody knows my PIN code, nobody else would be able to use it. You can even protect emails by encrypting them (via PGP eg), and you don't have to invite *everyone* as your Facebook friend.

Costas, of course we've all got something to hide. Our intimacy, our minds, our feeling s. We would have been lost and not be individual humans anymore if we would really have *nothing* to hide. There are tendencies in some countries to try surveillance of most intimate details, NSA's Prism project is only one example, the political or forensic abuse of brain scans and neural investigations is another. This may sound like paranoia or negative science fiction at the moment, but tendencies are there, and they are technically tested. Just saying...

The last chapter is of course my private opinion, and I feel free to post it in Thailand - in my home country I could get locked up with defamation charges if I would call my personal experience typical for Germany. Knowing that, and also knowing the logical limits of high-tech mind scan, I still feel free to post my private opinion here in Thailand. I'm not about blaming medical industry for their technologies, I'm about to blame some government for the abuse of their dual-use potential.

[ggt]

Living in Thailand is like living in the midst of a TV soap-opera...everything one does or says has a "drama" value and must be repeated and enhanced to give it more value...Thais live for this stuff...This is Thailand...

Your only privacy...may be when you enter the toilet and close the door...but I am not sure about that either...

[Tchooptip]

question 4 - is there a proper polite way of saying respect my privacy and mind your own business or that simply does not fly in Thailand?

I use the same as I do in Texas; "It's none of your business . . ."

Typical example of perfect integration

[poweratradio]

If you have nothing to hide, why would you be afraid of others knowing?

Only dubious people try to hide from others.

Hope you are not one of them...........

My wife's favorite lines directed at me is , you talk to much, why did you tell them that, that's our private business. my replies to her. Sorry honey what was i supposed to do, I did not want to be rude. Her reply back , JUST don't say anything, don't talk for <deleted> sake.

[KhnomKhnom]

Answer is ......... avoid all human contact, wear a mask and gloves if going out in public, use a pitch converter to hide your voice and gender, use multiple layers of identity (your passport is the passport of the identity you created to hide the identity you used to have, example), and pay everything in cash--unmarked bills which you have touched only with gloves.

Your ostensible home door leads to several other locked unmarked doors, none of which you use. You use the floor hatch under the wardrobe that goes to a boobyhatched tunnel with multiple turn-offs.

Real answer,,,,,, stop worrying about it and RELAX.

How to adapt and live happily in Thailand......

-when angry, punch a pillow in private, or learn better anger control.

-love your partner, wife, etc. for themselves, not as you wish them to be.

-always have a Thai citizen "front" for you for everything from ordering food to dealing with Thai government.

-never expect a Thai to follow your orders to the letter and do not give more than one request at a time.

-kindly laugh WITH a Thai asking for too much money, like tuk tuks, and compliment him on his sound capitalist ways.

-at least read about Buddhism so you can see it is a rational life philosophy with many good aspects and not superstitions.

-realize you live in Thailand primarily TO RELAX... this is your central life goal here and main reason to reside here.

Add your favorite.........................

[micmichd]

Dear ggt,

you're right, even female gossip and graffiti on toilet walls is well noticed, don't worry.