Are you becoming a Reclusive, Aging, Hermit Expat?

[redandyellow]

I'm already reclusive in my early 50's. Why go out , it's too hot. I've got the hole world in front of me on my computer . (well the world minus the blocked sites ! ).

How can you come to live in Thailand,with this glorious weather outside which is perfect for an outdoor lifestyle of " bicycle rides,nice long walks in the sun,fab beaches and lovely parks for a stroll and you are sitting indoors on the computer! Surely you can do that anywhere in the world...?

Kind respect where due...

F.J

Some people don't like sweltering in the baking heat.

SC

And Some people would be a lot fatter in their home country, where the snow flies..and they can't sweat off a pound a day..

[redandyellow]

I very much like my own company.

Ya, and folks like us don't need many friends. I get that.

I have a couple expat friends in Thailand, meaning 2

[Jip99]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

I can understand that.

I think it also comes down to contentment. If you are happy with your lot, without seeking out the company of others etc, then that is what matters.

[redandyellow]

I'm already reclusive in my early 50's. Why go out , it's too hot. I've got the hole world in front of me on my computer . (well the world minus the blocked sites ! ).

That's exactly what keeps my friend in Pattaya sane, plus he volunteers for soi dogs

signed,

the hole truth

[redandyellow]

With several personalities, who need company.

plus one

[redandyellow]

Mister 350 Bench Press, I can spot your writing style anywhere. You're correct I have become a recluse especially over the last few years as my friends have returned to their homelands. Each day I look for the positive side of life and convince myself that it's not so bad here and am very lucky to have a good wife.

I think there are many other people in the same boat that maybe cannot cope so well with their situation and with a fear for what the future holds here in LOS.

nice to hear from you again

signed,

mellowed

[SoiBiker]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

I suspect there are many in your class, like village farang for example, who has been in Thailand for ages.

It often depends on the Thai woman you end up with, it's as simple as that..

I'll bet village farang would concur

Not everyone ends up with a Thai woman at all. Contrary to popular Thai Visa belief, it's not a prerequisite to living here.

[redandyellow]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

I suspect there are many in your class, like village farang for example, who has been in Thailand for ages.

It often depends on the Thai woman you end up with, it's as simple as that..

I'll bet village farang would concur

Not everyone ends up with a Thai woman at all. Contrary to popular Thai Visa belief, it's not a prerequisite to living here.

I agree, however the woman often determines a farang's level of contentment in Thailand - or lack thereof

[Tocquinio]

This has just become his normal day to day life... every man to his own

[Crazy chef 1]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

I suspect there are many in your class, like village farang for example, who has been in Thailand for ages.

It often depends on the Thai woman you end up with, it's as simple as that..

I'll bet village farang would concur

Not everyone ends up with a Thai woman at all. Contrary to popular Thai Visa belief, it's not a prerequisite to living here.

sure ..some end up with a chap...

[Thaijack2014]

I used to work for an airline (flight attendant) for thirty years and I was always surrounded by people, lived in in all of the big cities of the world and only was alone during the nights in those places. Yes, married with children and no desire to cheat.

Now after my early retirement, moved to Thailand, divorced and live with my girlfriend. In the beginning I tried to socialize with people, helped some people with their computer problems etc. But after two years, I realilzed that many of the expats are still living in their own country. Some even turned their houses into a copy of the "heimat".

To be honoust, I was schocked to see how many farangs live in Thailand. I knew from my trips to Bangkok that the number increased, but I thought these are just tourists.

Now seeing the life many of them lead.... I don't want to be included in that life. Many of them building enormous houses, throwing with money, showing of in their pickups, swimming pools and growing bellies, I realize that I'm very happy on my own with my girlfriend.

We live not far from Hua Hin, between pineapple fields. I know a few people here, but most of the time I'm on my own, working around the house or my computer. I do my fittness at home as well, we sometimes go out eating, but mostly we do it at home. Once in four days or so, I might want to go somewhere.

Whether it is that I'm getting older, or there is just no reason for me to go elswhere, I'm very happy with our small house and our 1/2 rai of land...

I'm fed up being involved in other peoples problems... talking about things I can't change anyway...

Of course, internet helps. If I have questions or need something, there is always this medium. Most of the solutions about anything around the house, I found on the internet. If I listened to the answers of those around me, most of the things would have gone wrong or wouldn't be done, because people would suggest not to do it or do it in a totally different way.

So yes, me too changed from a social being into a solitary person - not totally, because I live with my Thai wife who is the best friend I ever had!

[SoiBiker]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

I suspect there are many in your class, like village farang for example, who has been in Thailand for ages.

It often depends on the Thai woman you end up with, it's as simple as that..

I'll bet village farang would concur

Not everyone ends up with a Thai woman at all. Contrary to popular Thai Visa belief, it's not a prerequisite to living here.

sure ..some end up with a chap...

I think my wife would be rather surprised if that happened.

[canarysun]

I have a good friend of mine who used to live in Pattaya who lived a bit of a hermit lifestyle.He is a " True Brit " ( and actually a bloody nice bloke ) but he used to spend nearly all of his day indoors on the computer and watching TV almost round the clock! He was living on his savings and they were getting lower and lower and he was worried.I told him that if he just wanted a life of sitting indoors watching TV and playing games on the computer then Thailand is the wrong place for him! ( all his other friends (inc myself ) were outside enjoying the lovely weather.I told him that he would be better off returning to the UK and collect benefits and have his rent paid for by the council and then he could sit indoors and watch TV and play on his computer without any money worries.

He moved back to the UK and lives on benefits ( and why not...) and continues to watch TV all day and says he is much happier living in the UK than he ever was in Thailand.

A true little tale viewers........

F.J

[harrry]

Every time I leave my condo I know for a fact I am risking death and/or dishonor. Helps one live "in the now".

You could always try home delivered dishonour....saves all the going out nonsense.

[laislica]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

I suspect there are many in your class, like village farang for example, who has been in Thailand for ages.

It often depends on the Thai woman you end up with, it's as simple as that..

I'll bet village farang would concur

Not everyone ends up with a Thai woman at all. Contrary to popular Thai Visa belief, it's not a prerequisite to living here.

I agree, however the woman often determines a farang's level of contentment in Thailand - or lack thereof

While I think I understand what you have said, and I sort of agree with you.

It might be more accurate to use the term partner, then you would include long time g/f, b/f married or not.

In other words, "The other half". Now we include everyone, men with women and same sex relationships.

In that case I would totally agree; that anywhere in the world, a person's partner would be instrumental in determining the level of contentment in the relationship.

Of course, it takes two to tango.

For a successful relationship, I feel that the two concerned should "bend in the wind", both need to trust each other and if possible, each one should constantly think about doing (or not doing) things to improve the life and happiness of their partner.

In that way they "grow together" and their Ego's don't get in the way quite so much.

I am happy to say that I am in such a relationship but, we live in the styx and there are no Ferang in the area, nor beaches, parks, Malls whatever.

We choose to be here because my wife's family live in the ares.

It makes me a sort of hermit but thanks to our excellent relationship, we are very happy in our solitude.

Of course it helps that we are only here for half the year, the other half is spent in the south of Spain in their summer LOL

It is a two way street and perhaps it is not completely correct to "blame" one's partner for one's own happiness.

[pigeonjake]

im to busy to hang about with expats in bars, in fact i dont know were there are any bars were ive lived for the past 8 years,

i work offshore and when im home the last thing i want is to hang about with expats,

to busy with the pigs ducks chickens dogs pigeons budgies finches fish the veg garden the fruit trees and jobs i didnt get round to doing on my last rotation,

its a hard life being busy,,

did i mention playing with the kids and keeping the wife happy,,oooooooooops

[Stray]

im to busy to hang about with expats in bars, in fact i dont know were there are any bars were ive lived for the past 8 years,

i work offshore and when im home the last thing i want is to hang about with expats,

to busy with the pigs ducks chickens dogs pigeons budgies finches fish the veg garden the fruit trees and jobs i didnt get round to doing on my last rotation,

its a hard life being busy,,

did i mention playing with the kids and keeping the wife happy,,oooooooooops

I'm hearin' ya, pigeonjake!

Not to mention that I'm also a misanthrope so, when I'm off-hitch, the last thing I want to meet up with is people outside of my family.

[slipperylobster]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

Alone, does not mean you are lonely. And being bored is not always defined as "not going out". I find conversation, companionship with other men "my age"...tedious, at best.

My wife has plenty of lady friends that stop by...and I would rather laugh and joke with them.

[BuaBS]

I'm already reclusive in my early 50's. Why go out , it's too hot. I've got the hole world in front of me on my computer . (well the world minus the blocked sites ! ).

How can you come to live in Thailand,with this glorious weather outside which is perfect for an outdoor lifestyle of " bicycle rides,nice long walks in the sun,fab beaches and lovely parks for a stroll and you are sitting indoors on the computer! Surely you can do that anywhere in the world...?

Kind respect where due...

F.J

Some people don't like sweltering in the baking heat.

SC

All my younger life , I was dreaming of living in the tropics , the warmth , the palmtrees , the white beaches,...But now living here , I 've grown to hate it. I hate the heat, the dirty , disapointing beaches, the lack of hygiene.

Thailand is a working country , most parts are not beautiful and where it is worth visiting , nice views,...you can't stop or park ....and it is again f. hot. I don't enjoy sweating.

Yes my body in in thailand , but my brain and thoughts are 11.000 km away. Living here at 1/3 of the cost compared to europe, paying no taxes ( except 7 % vat 555 !) , no need to work and fairly good internet.

No I can't do that anywhere in the world. I long for the cozyness of low temperatures , the only good month in thailand (januari) just passed .

If I can't buy my own house here, I have no interest in a garden or the work of maintaining it.

As for social contact : what has a thai or falang to offer me , that the internet can't offer me 1000 time more and with no strings attached ?

[Patsycat]

You can live alone anywhere in the world. But everyone needs contact with other people, otherwise you go a bit crazy and start having really good arguments with yourself!! Which are good, coz you always win.

When i visit my mum she always remarks about how i mumble to myself. I can't use the excuse that i am talking to the dog/cat/budgie coz she doesn't have one. My imaginary friends travel with me everywhere.

[sean in udon]

You can live alone anywhere in the world. But everyone needs contact with other people, otherwise you go a bit crazy and start having really good arguments with yourself!! Which are good, coz you always win.

When i visit my mum she always remarks about how i mumble to myself. I can't use the excuse that i am talking to the dog/cat/budgie coz she doesn't have one. My imaginary friends travel with me everywhere.

Thanks Patsycat. Had a good chuckle reading this.

Probably 'cos I see a bit of myself as well

[Brit_Doggie]

I prefer being alone although i yak yak with many thai friends,as i am basically a sole brit amongst other european expats from sweden,germany,and iceland,to name a few,so not a gr8 deal in common with them.

[ignis]

Have no idea if i am, never thought about it.......

have everything I need at home, is there any need to go out ? or see people ? have 14 dogs and 100 Koi fish so have plenty to do, must go out today as must pay water and electric bills, so a drive to Bang Bua Thong water Office, [thankfully can pay both bills there] guess will go to a Village Market on the way back, will I have to go out again this week ?

I am happy as i am, + nice and warm, now well over 11 years here never thought about returning to UK so am I classed as a aging hermit ?

As for UK most messages I get now a day is another old, often younger friend or relative has died,..

Edited March 23, 2015 by ignis

[marko kok prong]

Recently i have stopped going to the thursday market in my local town where all the expats gather,mainly due to the heat,but it does get a little tedious,have not been for 5 weeks now,still not missing it,plenty to do here watering and working in the gardens,watching a movie in the evening,or reading,cooking,and of course participating on TVF,was thinking of building a shed workshop,but it would have to be air conditioned,maybe next year.

[laislica]

Recently i have stopped going to the thursday market in my local town where all the expats gather,mainly due to the heat,but it does get a little tedious,have not been for 5 weeks now,still not missing it,plenty to do here watering and working in the gardens,watching a movie in the evening,or reading,cooking,and of course participating on TVF,was thinking of building a shed workshop,but it would have to be air conditioned,maybe next year.

I dream of living in a place where I can choose to meet expats - or not.

There is no choice here, the answer is !NOT!

Just trying to point out how lucky you are in that you have a choice.

I haven't had a drink for more than a week now so.

I choose to go and grab a cool beer.

I shall drink alone at home (wife doesn't drink).

I might watch a TV prog from a Box Set or

Might listen to the sounds of life, vehicles passing by, birds chirping, fans blowing.

So many choices......

[samsensam]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

if aging topless foreign males are your thing (everyone to their own) pop down to any beach and you'll think you've arrived in paradise.

[Patsycat]

Do they still wear those sexy, g-string speedos? With their wee willys and peanuts all showing? And with their bellys and moobs all hanging out? And you guys think it's disgusting to see Western women on the beach... The men are just as bad, if not worse.

I remember they were always turquoise in colour, or red. As they strutted up and down the beach. And the vision of them lowering themselves, with a grunt, into a deckchair was another of my unsee images i did not want to see. And they always sat in front of me.

Really, took my concentration of my book. And the dogs would all come and sit with me, not with them. I could have brought 4 dogs home with me.

Edited March 23, 2015 by Patsycat

[marko kok prong]

Do they still wear those sexy, g-string speedos? With their wee willys and peanuts all showing? And with their bellys and moobs all hanging out? And you guys think it's disgusting to see Western women on the beach... The men are just as bad, if not worse.

I remember they were always turquoise in colour, or red. As they strutted up and down the beach. And the vision of them lowering themselves, with a grunt, into a deckchair was another of my unsee images i did not want to see. And they always sat in front of me.

Really, took my concentration of my book. And the dogs would all come and sit with me, not with them. I could have brought 4 dogs home with me.

Patsy i wonder if you have seen the new anotomically scultpted beach and underwear,basically the willy sit's in a little ,how to describe it, er,sheeth,and the two veg underneath,clearly delineatid,you can see them on men's underwear sites,i wonder if this will become a trend,for young men of course,i never venture onto the beach without a shell suit,but look at a site like body aware patsy and you will see it,and the male models,you may like too,apologieis for my awful spelling ,i have been reading Sandmans stuff to much100 procent.,also had a couple of lagers,to celebrate the rain.

[12DrinkMore]

Do they still wear those sexy, g-string speedos? With their wee willys and peanuts all showing? And with their bellys and moobs all hanging out? And you guys think it's disgusting to see Western women on the beach... The men are just as bad, if not worse.

I remember they were always turquoise in colour, or red. As they strutted up and down the beach. And the vision of them lowering themselves, with a grunt, into a deckchair was another of my unsee images i did not want to see. And they always sat in front of me.

Really, took my concentration of my book. And the dogs would all come and sit with me, not with them. I could have brought 4 dogs home with me.

Patsy i wonder if you have seen the new anotomically scultpted beach and underwear,basically the willy sit's in a little ,how to describe it, er,sheeth,and the two veg underneath,clearly delineatid,you can see them on men's underwear sites,i wonder if this will become a trend,for young men of course,i never venture onto the beach without a shell suit,but look at a site like body aware patsy and you will see it,and the male models,you may like too,apologieis for my awful spelling ,i have been reading Sandmans stuff to much100 procent.,also had a couple of lagers,to celebrate the rain.

You can get a week's posting ban for admitting being drunk in charge of a keyboard whilst on TV.

You have been warned!

[starky]

I am not bored or recluse. I have a piece of string I like to look at.

Would have been funnier if you didn't laugh at your own joke