Serious And Disturbing Email

[chuchok]

Over the course of a 22 page topic, its not an unfair question.

so what if it's 22 pages?

[tourleadersi]

Over the course of a 22 page topic, its not an unfair question.

I agree and disagree. I guess you could agrue that certain professions are more prone to such behaviour but I just think in an instance like this it is better to let the person concerned decide that part. If he wasn't so upset (self confessed) right now it would definately be a fair question. A bit like someone on here pleading for help because their wife is dying of lung cancer. The question 'Did she smoke?' could be asked, but really at the end of the day, how would it help that person?

As for the Nun and High Court Judge. Both of those parties have their fair share of bad apples wouldn't you say, from child beatings through to Hampstead Heath hanger-outers.

[Papa_Lazarou]

Because it is a piece of information that might take us somewhere new rather than keep going round in circles.

Maybe her job will show a history of moral probity- perhaps she is a charity worker like Mother Teresa

or.

a convicted fraudster

The latter might be less truthful in these cuckolding circumstances than the former.

Is it really such a hard question to answer?

[ThaiPauly]

Oh Tip,

I have just spent the last hour reading throgh this thread and my heart goes out to you, it really does.

There have been so many valid points raised about what you should do that your head must be spinning.

Everyone has their own opinion and has freely given it.

If I was in your shoes I just could not do NOTHING, I just couldn't, even if it turns out to be 'worst case scenario' you have to know for sure.

If it is you can get over it sooner, if not then your heart will not give out on you.

Personally, I would HAVE to find out, and if tracing the IP and that sort of thing(which I know absolutley nothing about) prooves unsucessful then it HAS to be a GOOD PI.

There are many horror stories posted on this forum and I really hope this story has a happy ending.

There is nothing more I can add that has not been said already than to offer you my heartfelt best wishes that all works out well.

But YOU GOTTA KNOW and SOON

Your freind

TP

[Alreadyinuse]

Ok Tip.

I better address you since you were the initiator of this thread. I just said whats on my mind. Hope that you can use some information from this forum and I want to wish you good luck.

[bazmlb]

Another fact which I have not related. My wife has not called me in quite some time. She's set up for Internet telephony but repeatedly claims that there's Internet problems. "Mai dai, mai dai." Yet she has used it before.

This could be a great opening to get a PI in posing as someone to fix the internet phone and check the PC out for you to see if the emails came from there as well as check things out

good luck whichever way it works out

[tourleadersi]

Because it is a piece of information that might take us somewhere new rather than keep going round in circles.

Maybe her job will show a history of moral probity- perhaps she is a charity worker like Mother Teresa

or.

a convicted fraudster

The latter might be less truthful in these cuckolding circumstances than the former.

Is it really such a hard question to answer?

We are getting a little off topic here PL so I will answer this and I'll leave it at that.

No its not such a hard question to answer, but depending on the answer it may bring out the worst in some people. Personally I think people here are offering support and advice irrespective of her previous life.

You are right, what happened before would most certainly have some bearing on how people give advice or make their own decisions. Perhaps thats why in a court room prosecutors are not allowed to say 'This is Joe Bloggs, and he has been convicted of 15 burglaries previously.'

All I can say Papa is I agree (from the sense of finding out everything before drawing a conclusion) and disagree (from the sense that if the answer is that she is from a less resolute profession the responses may then break Tip) with you. Not that it really matters as we appear to differ on this one.

Your avatar still freaks me out by the way!!!

[Papa_Lazarou]

Agreed. If he says she was in the bars, we're going to jump to a swift conclusion one way or the other based on that fact alone, and the debate will segue to whether ladies of the night can ever be trusted in monogamy.

So perhaps he should keep schtum on this answer.

But the Shadow knows........

[mark henry]

Hi Tip

I'm sorry about what you're going through it must be hel_l for you. I guess most if not all of us can identify to some degree with what your going through.

Just wanted to add a couple of small points that may have been overlooked: Firstly i think for sure something is going on, after all there's no smoke without at least a small flame! secondly; have you considered the thought this cop may of wormed his way into your wifes affections knowing she's on her own for long periods, has a wealthy (ish) farang husband and is blackmailing her? perhaps threatening to set you or her up if she does'nt pay up? etc etc, this might explain the $13000. I don't know perhaps she is a little vulnerable and open to being exploited?

My Wife (Thai of course) thinks that if she is well taken care of and loved which she sounds like she is then she unlikely to stray. From what i know of Thai women they do seem pretty loyal if taken care of. Personally i cannot imagine she would stray for a low paid policeman, why? It's not likely to be even for sex, from what i can gather sex is not particularly high on a Thai womans list of priority's! also she runs the risk of being"shamed" if found out, a very big deal for a Thai.

Lastly regarding her not e.mailing you this does not surprise me at all, Thai's don't seem to like writing letters. My wife rarely wrote to me when we were courting and when she did it was 2/3 lines at best. I have to tell her what to write on a Birthday card for her Daughter! So i would'nt worry too much about that.

Lastly ring her you know you want to do it, your unlikely to feel any worse than you do now are you?

Sorry one more point if you do sort this out and every thing is fine don't go away for so long..8 months! asking a lot of anyone.

Good Luck

[Noel]

Over the course of a 22 page topic, its not an unfair question.

If you changed your settings, you would be on page 9...

[Papa_Lazarou]

"don't go away for so long..8 months"

Thats a good point. Good husbandry demands regular servicing. Don't neglect your matrimonial obligations.

[Beavis and Butthead]

I think that it wouldn't be a Thai male sending these e-mails because he would not want to bite off the hand that feeds him. He would want to keep the resources flowing if involved with Tipper's wife. If it were a Thai male then perhaps he is not involved with her but wants to be and needs Tipster out of the picture to achieve this. Then of course it could be a Thai male who had an affair with Tip's wife but she broke it off cause it was "wrong", now the guy wants her back and feels that getting Tip out of pic is only way to do this. Now a farang male would not likely care about resources and just wants Tipperoo out of picture. Of course these e-mails could be written by a Thai female who wants Tipper all for her lonesome. Then there's the possibility it is written by someone close to the couple (babysitter?) who sees Tip getting screwed by an unfaithful wife and feels it is her duty to inform. Take your pick. even a PI might not be able to figure this one out

Edited August 24, 2006 by Beavis and Butthead

[Beavis and Butthead]

What's good about this thread is that 95% of posters genuinely know Tipperoo is a good man and are sincerely trying to help the guy out

[pedro01]

Well, folks, this is looking for real. Email just received from Steven 39 minutes ago.

I am hoping you will reply to me with more information. My heart is very much broken by your news.[ I am sorry] I must be sure it is right.[That all right] Can you tell me how long she has been seing this policeman?[ more than 1 year] Who is he?[he have nickname ‘ya’] And what of my pick up truck?[she and him use you car and drink by you money ] Is the damage bad?[damage the left the car] Has it been fixed?[ I know they sent repair by insurance] Please, you must tell me more if you know.

I think if you need to know this about when you go to Thailand you don’t tell everybody

Everybody to cover up this about to you Everybody know this about very well

I tell this about because it not fair for you

You can to decide by you self good luck

Please keep this about between you and me only if you need to more information can ask me

See you

lol ! Capitalisation in the right place, no spelling mistakes but Tinglish - what a wierd educational background this person has...

Doesn't mean it's not true - could just be someone pretending to be Thai

[udon]

Tip's problem is less than 48 hours old.

Please give him a bit of space, it's important to get a good dialogue going with the emailer & that will take at least few days more.

I'm sure someone from here, will be checking out the 'you beaut ute'.

BTW it was 13000 BAHT nicked from wifey's purse, not USD$.

Cheers

[qualtrough]

[snip] Personally i cannot imagine she would stray for a low paid policeman, why? It's not likely to be even for sex, from what i can gather sex is not particularly high on a Thai womans list of priority's! [snip]

Good Luck

Thai police salaries are low, but that is probably the smallest portion of their income. They have additional resources both legal and illegal. For example, like many of our neighbors and many businesses, we pay a cop 1000 Baht a month to stop by our house several times a day. I would imagine this cop has quite a few houses and businesses on his route, so 1000x X could add up in one month. There are also the individual bribes, and the cut from larger bribes that come from further up and are divvied up for those further down, as well as tips and payments for good or extra services. A poor cop is an honest cop, and unfortunately they are far outnumbered by the bad ones. I would say that the cop cannot be ruled in or out on the basis of income.

[Beavis and Butthead]

I've been dealing with Thais for 20 years in business and marriage.

Screwing over Farangs is a national pastime.

Her friends would probably ridicule her if she wasn't taking advantage.

My best friend married a lovely Thai lady.

Single with no kids.

He is out to Sea every 2 months.

If ten years down the road I hear she had a Thai husband and kids would still not suprise me. TIT.

Truth, integrity and trust are important to westerners, not Thais.

Not saying they are bad people, just raised different with different priorities.

Don't discount this in anyway. I have seen this type of thing over and over in my 5 years here. I've seen it with a bar girl, a nurse and an office worker. 3 separate cases of very close farang friends being taken for cars, houses and other assets in short term marriages in Thailand

[Beavis and Butthead]

As a language teacher, I would VERY strongly doubt the email was written by a Thai. Such terms as “cover up” used correctly make me suspect it is a farang masquerading as a Thai.

This is a most interesting detail. Take heed

[udon]

A farang & English is not his or her mother tongue.

[Beachcomber]

I can’t really add much to what has already been said.

I can only raise a question, do you believe in your wife? I don’t mean that you actually “trust” her but when it comes to something like this you have a choice of believing your wife or some stranger.

If she is “The love of your life” every time you are together and gives you no reason for thinking that you are not the center of her universe – can you live with just that?

Two movies come to mind. In one Harrison Ford’s wife that had been killed in a plane crash was going away with her long time lover for a week end. Harrison had absolutely no idea about the affair and was devastated to find out. He looks back in time in his mind and asks the question “when was the last time something was the truth”?

I can’t recall the details of the other movie but in one scene one of the leading ladies taking to another about her coming home unexpectedly early one day and finding her husband in the shower with another woman. “What did you do”? Her friend asks. “I slipped out quietly without them noticing and never again went home unexpectedly without phoning first.

Beachcomber.

[thaiprivateeye]

Hi Tippaporn,

I do not want to appear to be an ambulance chaser, but I have been following this thread quite closely, and although most guys on the forum have given you some excellent advice, and surely have your interest at heart, they are not professional Private Investigators.

It is also very possible that this “Steven/Stephen” person is a Forum member who is playing a sick game for some unknown perverted reason. Therefore, I will send you my suggestions via a PM…

What you need is simple cold hard facts… Nothing more, nothing less!

TPE II

[meom]

Dude, is this a hoax? No MFing way man. Clearly no matter what the specific circumstances: thai cop, farang, whoever; your wife is up to no good and that is that. She's out there messing around with someone, no questions asked. No need for PI investigations, suprise visits or anything else. If you are like most ordinary folks, you can't tolerate a cheating wife. I know I can't. You need out of this situation in the most painless way possible. This is where you need to focus, forget everything else maestro

Butthead, you need to join the real world. Poison pen letters have been around since recorded history. Now it's poison pen emails. You're SO SURE the wife is cheating based on anonymous emails..........get real.......get off the sauce......give your brain some oxygen....

Besides we don't even know what cheating we're talking about. Nowehere is it mentioned that she's spreading her legs every night. Ok maybe she's seeing another guy but what's that supposed to mean? As another poster mentioned sex is not always on the top of a thai women's priority list so it could very well be just friendship. With Tip being away for long time that would make sense. She has no job so any money she has comes from Tip and if some of that money is spent with her friend what's the big deal?

I would start to get concerned if there's really proof of (regular) sexual intimacy but so far there ain't any.

[Tippaporn]

Hi All,

It's been another longer day, or rather longer day since I haven't had any sleep last night. There's much activity going on and I still have to crowd my work schedule in it all. I've not had time to catch up on this thread and I'm pretty well trashed.

The sender has expressed an openess to provide answers to my questions and I will allow them time to do so. There's not much history to determine what her email patterns are but so far it's been between 10PM to slightly past 1AM. Perhaps she's a bit of a night owl or perhaps this is the only time she can find privacy.

I've given her a laundry list of questions and hopefully not overburdened her. I've offered her both the option of emailing me in passa Thai and having me email her likewise. I've also offered her an opportunity to speak to a very close Thai friend of mine. He would provide his number to her. I've tried my best to assure her that our communications will remain strictly between the two of us. So now there's not much else to do but sit and wait. But it is my expectation that she will divulge information which will ultimately prove telling.

Again, thanks all for the amazing support. Despite the length that this thread has grown to I've seen only a single nasty post. Mods, thanks for deleting that post, and my uncharacteristic reply. Drus, thanks for the backup. Whether you all are aware of it or not you've been a tremendous help to me in keeping my mental stability over the last few days. All I can say is, "Wow!"

[LoveDaBlues]

Tip, glad to see you're hanging in there. Hopefully this weekend you can catch up on some sleep.

Just curious, and perhaps I missed a post, but how do you know the emailer is a woman?

[qualtrough]

Hi All,

[snip]

I've given her a laundry list of questions and hopefully not overburdened her. I've offered her both the option of emailing me in passa Thai and having me email her likewise. I've also offered her an opportunity to speak to a very close Thai friend of mine. He would provide his number to her. I've tried my best to assure her that our communications will remain strictly between the two of us. So now there's not much else to do but sit and wait. But it is my expectation that she will divulge information which will ultimately prove telling.

[snip]

Are you referring to your wife or the e-mailer? If the latter, when was it established that the e-mailer was a female? Sorry if I missed something, it has been a long thread! Good luck too!

Edited August 24, 2006 by qualtrough

[LoveDaBlues]

He's talking about the emailer. He's already said his wife is not computer literate.

[Tippaporn]

Tip, glad to see you're hanging in there. Hopefully this weekend you can catch up on some sleep.

Just curious, and perhaps I missed a post, but how do you know the emailer is a woman?

If I may make light, men's intuition.

Assuming the emails are authentic then the email address most probably is bona fide. In that case if Steven the farang were to email me then why pretend to pass himself off as Thai. It must be his Thai gf/wife. I'm approaching the sender as being authentic.

If the emailer proves out to be false then I wouldn't be sure but would still bet on being a woman.

[britmaveric]

With respect, the only thing puzzling me is that Tipp and the missus have been apart for a full year, yet many seem surprised that she might be taking up with someone else.

keda

Hmmm being in a married committed relationship might have something to do with it.

Well think much can be learned by getting into this person's email account.

Edited August 24, 2006 by britmaveric

[qualtrough]

He's talking about the emailer. He's already said his wife is not computer literate.

OK, thanks. But when and how was it established that the e-mailer was a woman for sure? If anyone can point me to that post it will be appreciated.

[Schooner]

Hi Tip,

This is obviously a difficult time for you and I complement you on the way that you are handling it. As others have said you need to find out what the truth is and take care of yourself while your doing it.

Frankly, I am not concluding from anything I've read so far that convinces me that she has gone astray and I would try to remain calm (as you can) and investigate this. I got the impression that you have already recieved information that is not speculation but check out everything and be sure before you tip your wife. Also I haven't heard if you have secured the $10,000 in the account she has access to. Seems to me you should. (just in case) I agreed with a poster who said "hope for the best, but plan for the worst" and "trust but verify"

Seems to me you can accomplish that without her knowing anything and if it is a hoax that you can move on. If it is not a hoax than you won't tip her off.

I have a wonderful relationship with a Thai woman who I adore, but I worked a lifetime for what I have and I control everything. I've told her that if anything happens to me to contact my lawyer. He has a "letter" for her that is important. I would never tell her I have a will. She does not know what my assets are or if she will get anything. This is not because she is Thai, it is because she is human. I would be heartbroke if we finished< but i will not be broke>

good luck and hang in there