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Posted (edited)

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!

SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!

HE: Hi!didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?

SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?

SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE: I must've been given your share!!!

HE: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

SHE: It's hot!!!

HE: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!

SHE: Okay, but would you stay there?

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Your face must turn a few heads!

SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out!

SHE: Okay,get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy

SHE: Why,are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why,don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?

SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?

SHE: Nah,it was plain bad luck!!!

One that happened to me:

Would you like a drink? No

A cigarette? No

There is only one left! I don't spit either!

Edited by John_Betong
Posted

This one was witnessed by me when a guy moved in on a very smart friend of mine:

He: Is your father a criminal?

She: No, why?

He: Well he must be as he went up to heaven and stole you.

Pause

She: Is anyone in your family a thief?

He: No, why?

She: Because someone has stolen your dick and stuck it on your forehead!

Priceless.

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