Sin Sot

[seadigital]

Thai girl age 33. Had 1 marriage before which resulted in a 5 yo kid. Her current salery is 10k thb / m & for some reason she wants a show marriage to save her moms face. (Whoh)

Her skin is not so white like Thai's like. She's not a beauty queen for Thai's. She does speak English well, but her education is limited. (Political science? In Thailand. She might as well have studied carving wood frogs for the Mong)

Can Thai's live with "shacking up", because seems like the Honda Click & I Phone 6 for daughter are not enough to save her moms face. I must admit, her mom had to put up with her daughter living with me for a year with no commitment and then I've left for a year.. Probably doesn't make me look good.

So far what she's asking for is a show marriage(not in court) to show people that her daughter not bad, and ring, but not asking for any sin sought.

What's everyone's opinion? I know you all have one khrup

Edited March 1, 2015 by seadigital

[slightlychilled]

I'd say NO - you might as well marry her mother.

Marriage is a serious commmitment that both parties should want and if you knew that it was right for you then you wouldn't be asking in the first place. There is no place for a show marriage and even if there was do you really believe in such shallowness ?

[scoutman360]

Slightlychilled nailed it. If you are going to be smart about this, you need to understand Thai culture. From a "Thai" perspective she is damaged goods and not marketable or desirable for a good Thai man. Think about this carefully. Thai girls usually only go for a foreigner because a good Thai guy doesn't want them. Good thing for you that they don't expect a Sin Sod. Any normal Thai man would not pay it or parent ask for it since she was married before and has a child already.

Yes, Thais can live with "shaking up" because this is the modern world, and in the end, they will do anything to survive. In my opinion, don't ever marrry this girl, but enjoy your love and your life with her as long as you are in control.

[sdanielmcev]

Questions: Do you love her? What are your intentions in this relationship. You're not giving us much to go on.

Some would say my gf isn't good looking, or, up to some social standard. Know what? I don't give a f.... Ever. I think she's gorgeous.

[wooloomooloo]

Her skin is not so white like Thai's like. She's not a beauty queen for Thai's. She does speak English well, but her education is limited. (Political science? In Thailand. She might as well have studied carving wood frogs for the Mong)

Why would you marry someone who you appear so resentful of?

[bil2054]

Lots of blanks in the equation, Seadigital, How much is a "show" wedding likely to set you back? You indicate no sin sod, so there is the likely major expense gone.
If it would not hurt financially, and it would make the ladies happy, why not? Sounds like a good excuse for a party.
If, on the other hand, it seems like a wedge in the door for ever increasing financial "needs", I would be reluctant. Never heard of a show marriage ploy, though.

[wellred]

Her skin is not so white like Thai's like. She's not a beauty queen for Thai's. She does speak English well, but her education is limited. (Political science? In Thailand. She might as well have studied carving wood frogs for the Mong)

Why would you marry someone who you appear so resentful of?

Odd. Reckon this is a wind up

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[Mossfinn]

Odd. Reckon this is a wind up

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The mention of Sin Sot, why on earth would you think that?

[Robert24]

You don't write well about her and her family. Why would you want to marry her or even stay with her?

[Rooo]

Moved to Expat Life.

[LuckyLew]

Why would you marry someone who you do not think or say is the most beautiful woman in the world and that you would not want to live without

Getting married so her mother can save face is a stupid and wrong reason to get married

I am surprised she has not dumped you already as you are no catch

[Tonto21]

OK MHO.... Despite what most outsiders think of the morals of Thais, they do have a culture and tradition...... And most have morals. The older the generation, the more there culture and tradition play a part in there lives. Think about it? The smaller the village the more the people in it know each other. The mother is under pressure for her daughter and you too make her a respectable woman. The daughter wants to do right by her mum.

Bottom line mate, you are seeing this Thai woman for a fair bit now, sounds like you want you cake and eat it as well. There is no mention of other family members trying to suck money of you, no Sin Sot, sounds too me the mother is a decent persons that just wants to uphold culture and tradition and see her daughter happy and married..... And yes save face, is that so wrong? You are talking like your being set up for a rip-off...Get a grip.

All the mother want for her and her daughter is a 'local' Thai wedding, probably at the mother's house with some of her fiends, Monks and a small ceremony and party, cost less than 10k and a bit of show gold. It sounds from what you say, it won't even be a legal one.........

As for your comment about, "Honda Click & I Phone 6 for daughter are not enough to save her moms face" ....... The mind boggles, what is your thinking to make a statement like that? Do you have any idea how ignorant that sounds?

The time is now! Marry the woman or get out her life, personally having read your post again, I think mother and daughter could do better.

[seadigital]

Slightlychilled nailed it. If you are going to be smart about this, you need to understand Thai culture. From a "Thai" perspective she is damaged goods and not marketable or desirable for a good Thai man. Think about this carefully. Thai girls usually only go for a foreigner because a good Thai guy doesn't want them. Good thing for you that they don't expect a Sin Sod. Any normal Thai man would not pay it or parent ask for it since she was married before and has a child already.

Yes, Thais can live with "shaking up" because this is the modern world, and in the end, they will do anything to survive. In my opinion, don't ever marrry this girl, but enjoy your love and your life with her as long as you are in control.

Thank you all for your comments, even the funny sarcastic ones. I think Scoutmans reply was more to my liking.

P.S. The short description in my OP was for brevity. The comments on her dark skin, income, child, etc. were basically me trying to relay informaion that I'd though may, or may not be relavant in Thai culture. (I'm not familiar with the culture, so I should ask) I personally like her dark skin. I'm white, so white skin is not exotic for me. I like her child. What a Thai man may consider ugly, I think is sexy. What they may think is damaged goods, I think is sexy, except during times of extreme jealously. Then she's bad for Thai & Farang. lol Point being, I left personal ideals out of my OP. Was just looking for Thai cultrual comments.

I have to say, I really gravitated toward Tonto21 comments on traditional Thai. I like to respect other cultures. But he was also right about me wanting my cake and eat it too, in regards to eternal shaking up. Too bad they conflict, huh?

So, I guess the real question is: How do I eternally shack up with her daughter without her mom losing face?

Edited March 3, 2015 by seadigital

[samsensam]

Her skin is not so white like Thai's like. She's not a beauty queen for Thai's. She does speak English well, but her education is limited. (Political science? In Thailand. She might as well have studied carving wood frogs for the Mong)

Why would you marry someone who you appear so resentful of?

Odd. Reckon this is a wind up

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off topic but reminded me of a ramkamheng student i dated years ago. she was studying for a degree in political science.

never once did i see her with a text book - i dont think she ever did any background reading

never wrote an essay, never went to the library to study

the exam, as far as i could see, was multiple choice questions and she bought these photo copied pamphlets with the questions and answers so she could learn the answers.

and yes, she did graduate in political science.

[guru]

Same as me. I paid for an airline pilot theoretical course along side BA cadets at Oxford to get photo copied multiple choice pamphlets to learn the questions and answers to pass the 14 ATPL multiple choice exams.