To Wai or Not to Wai ?. That is the question.

[NickJ]

Wai did I read this whole thread?

[thejcb]

It's nice when they understand our traditions too. Normally I wai and then they shake my hand.

It's horrible when they THINK they understand our traditions and always want to TRY (usually incorrectly) to copy in THEIR country.

I would never wai anyone in England.

I rarely shake peoples hands in England.

For me, its more a formal thing at business or if you meet someone new. Not every bloody time you see your friend.

I also don't want their germs on me, wai'ing is far superior, I don't have to touch anyone and anyway I would only wai my elders.

Why do they have to shake my hand, it is MENTAL. I rarely accept and just reluctantly wai to them.

Also VERY MENTAL, is when you see white caucasians wai'ing young tarts in the bars, they must think we are really stupid.

They must see us as gullible idiots as no Thai man in his right mind would ever wai these people.

No wonder they think it's ok to rip us off.

Edited March 20, 2015 by thejcb

[rgs2001uk]

My personal favourite is watching farangs wai other farangs.

[bkkjames]

To wai or not to wai tis the question. I ask only one thing. ..why?

Edited March 20, 2015 by bkkjames

[Suradit69]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

No skin off my back to wai somebody, younger or older.

I think of a wai like a handshake.

Yes, I would wai family and most friends.

No, I would not wai or shake hands with the MK restaurant security guard.

"No, I would not wai or shake hands with the MK restaurant security guard."

I find it amusing to see the (presumably short-stay tourist) farang wai-ing everyone in sight. It usually generates a startled look from the recipients.

Children wai to adults. Adults wai to those of a higher standing as a sign of respect. Most thai adults are not worthy of my respect so i would never wai to them. When i meet an honest, wise, ethical, civilized thai adult that i get to know and respect over a period of time then i will wai. But the majority of them, whether wealthy or nor not, or having the superficial appearance of success or not, will need to earn my respect before i ever wai. And a fair number deserve to be weed over before waid to.

"... will need to earn my respect before i ever wai. "

Given your obviously unrealistic level of self-importance, I doubt you would merit many wais in response. I can't imagine that anyone would bother with the effort of trying "to earn" your respect or to place any significance on whether or not you wai them.

[maderaroja]

I generally don't wai so that I will not make a mistake. I wave my hand and say, "How ya doin'?". If their hand looks clean, or if they are western, I put my hand forward to shake.

[Ian Curtis]

Quite.correct, one would only 'wai' someone if they are equal rank to you or higher

[ebonykap]

In my early days here I wai'd a young female student. The look of embarrassment on her face was alarming to me. Fortunately, a Thai friend who was with me at the time explained how to wai. Now, if I receive a wai from ANYONE I reply with a wai, whether security guard, street sweeper or bargirl.

And if I consider someone senior or in a high-status position (e.g. Immigration Officer) I will wai them first. And no, I do not wai a farang. Seeing farangs in bars waiing waitresses and bargirls first makes me cringe. Understand the custom, or doing nothing is better.

[bluebluewater]

IMO . . .. 99% of the time a farang should not wai. They don't know how, they don't know when, they don't know whom should wai whom. End result is that they come off looking like clowns. Farang waiing a farang? A child? Service people? You got to be kidding.

You should be the one to wai the FIL if you are not going to offer a handshake. Of course you can do both but the handshake is what foreigners do, the wai is what Thai people do.

[sanuk711]

I think its just politeness to just return any wai ---the height of it is up to you. I feel that if I don't just give a cursory wai , even to a security guard--if he has wai'd me, its a bit like me holding my hand out to shake with you, & being ignored, but to go around initiating wai's to all & sundry ...no I don't.

My wife who is in her 50s told me once that when she was a child they feed them this urban myth at school to make them more polite... "If you don't wai an adult before they wai you, it means you will die before them"

If it hadn't been an Urban Myth---With the influx of all the new age farangs in Essan now...

...she probably wouldn't have made it to her teens......

[EnglishJohn]

The vibe I am getting is you do not wai to people lower than yourself, and every Thai is lower then the average TV reader so don't do it.

Wai'ing everybody and kids will make you look a prize &lt;deleted&gt; of course (a, not i), but doing it to other adults who you respect is not a bad thing IMHO. Might make you look a bit less like the typical arrogant farang.

[lensta]

Iam not Thai so do not Wai.

A "sup" and nod does the trick.

Agreed, I think most foreigners look stupid when they try to wai.

Most Thai people understand a freindly greeting and do not expect

foreigners to wai.

[pomchop]

I wish the entire world would do away with stupid handshakes man to man or hugging females and just use the wai everywhere. Nothing worse than shaking hands with some filthy moron who just came from the toilet or doing who knows what or having to pretend to hug and "air kiss" some gal that i don't know, don't want to know, and sure as heck don't want to hug.

A wai is a wonderful gesture that could be used as a means of recognition, thanks, respect, etc. Too bad the "proper" use is so restricted.

My guess is the average Thai has seen plenty of farangs wai incorrectly but don't spend ten seconds thinking about it one way or another.

[slipperylobster]

Wai-ing this fellow is taking it too far.

I still have nightmares about this clown

[slipperylobster]

Wai do you ask?

[CharlieH]

a few posts removed.

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

[longstebe]

Nice to see all the hi-so farangs out to play today.

[kurtramsbottom]

Nice to see all the hi-so farangs out to play today.

[Naam]

IMO . . .. 99% of the time a farang should not wai. They don't know how, they don't know when, they don't know whom should wai whom. End result is that they come off looking like clowns. Farang waiing a farang? A child? Service people? You got to be kidding.

You should be the one to wai the FIL if you are not going to offer a handshake. Of course you can do both but the handshake is what foreigners do, the wai is what Thai people do.

i don't mind looking like a clown. i wai the 3-year old daughter of my assistant (after she wais me) because then i get a kiss on my cheek after picking her up.

eat your heart out man and perhaps get a life!

[longstebe]

No skin off my back to wai somebody, younger or older.

I think of a wai like a handshake.

Yes, I would wai family and most friends.

No, I would not wai or shake hands with the MK restaurant security guard.

Why not?

Because there is nothing more pathetic than when you see a farang wai, bow, slobber, or grovel. Would you like to be a Thai "longstebe" ?

Yes obviously because I 'Wai' someone means I want to be Thai.

Get a grip lad.

"Slobber and grovel", slight exaggeration there me thinks.

[pigeonjake]

Children wai to adults. Adults wai to those of a higher standing as a sign of respect. Most thai adults are not worthy of my respect so i would never wai to them. When i meet an honest, wise, ethical, civilized thai adult that i get to know and respect over a period of time then i will wai. But the majority of them, whether wealthy or nor not, or having the superficial appearance of success or not, will need to earn my respect before i ever wai. And a fair number deserve to be weed over before waid to.

dont you think your the special one,?

i allways wai my wifes grandperents, i even stoped the car yeserday to wai gandpa, first time ive seen him since i got back from offshre,

hes a great old guy, can make anything from bamboo,

Yeah, but you're a pig farmer, so entirely appropriate that you wai everyone.

This discussion is about social status, can't get much lower than pig farmer (as far as I can see).

only a pig farmer when im at home,

when im on my rotation at work as a q/c welding inspector, earning shit loads of money,,, do i have to wai my welders, yes ive got 10 of them in angola,?

no i just give them a nod,,

but i will still carry on wai ing my wifes grandfather because i have repect for the old guy,,

something you must be lacking in your life,

to stoop to personal insults everytime you get on your keyboard,,

[pinkpanther99]

I always wai when I'm meant to, it's basic manners.

Don't forget this isn't our native country and wai'ing is how greetings are done in Thailand - so get with it.

Having said that , if I met a Thai person in the UK (my native country) I'd expect them to say hello and shake my hand but in Thailand, it's a wai - that's just the way it is.

Why is it such a big deal?

OK, it was a little strange the first couple of weeks I was in Thailand but several years later it doesn't bother me for a second.

[MaeJoMTB]

dont you think your the special one,?

i allways wai my wifes grandperents, i even stoped the car yeserday to wai gandpa, first time ive seen him since i got back from offshre,

hes a great old guy, can make anything from bamboo,

Yeah, but you're a pig farmer, so entirely appropriate that you wai everyone.

This discussion is about social status, can't get much lower than pig farmer (as far as I can see).

only a pig farmer when im at home,

when im on my rotation at work as a q/c welding inspector, earning shit loads of money,,, do i have to wai my welders, yes ive got 10 of them in angola,?

no i just give them a nod,,

but i will still carry on wai ing my wifes grandfather because i have repect for the old guy,,

something you must be lacking in your life,

to stoop to personal insults everytime you get on your keyboard,,

Not an insult PJ, your choice of occupation.

In Thailand you're a pig farmer. So entirely in order that you wai an older farmer when in Thailand.

Edited March 20, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[paddyjenkins]

In my early days here I wai'd a young female student. The look of embarrassment on her face was alarming to me. Fortunately, a Thai friend who was with me at the time explained how to wai. Now, if I receive a wai from ANYONE I reply with a wai, whether security guard, street sweeper or bargirl.

And if I consider someone senior or in a high-status position (e.g. Immigration Officer) I will wai them first. And no, I do not wai a farang. Seeing farangs in bars waiing waitresses and bargirls first makes me cringe. Understand the custom, or doing nothing is better.

I think you are mixing up senior/high status with a person of authority who may abuse his position.

Saying an immigration officer is either senior or high status is like saying a traffic warden is a senior person of high status. I would not wai an immigration officer, certainly not one of the grubbier ones who are on the take. And if you do, they may see that as a sign if weakness and see you as being a good target for shaking down.

[louse1953]

Being the oldest by a long way at the predomintly Thai fitness,they all wai me 1st.Didn't happen when i started years ago but as they got to know me it has developed.Maybe they thought i was gunna have a heart attack,so only here a short time.

[louse1953]

No skin off my back to wai somebody, younger or older.

I think of a wai like a handshake.

Yes, I would wai family and most friends.

No, I would not wai or shake hands with the MK restaurant security guard.

Why not?

Because there is nothing more pathetic than when you see a farang wai, bow, slobber, or grovel. Would you like to be a Thai "longstebe" ?

What about farangs that wai other farangs,what's going on there?

[louse1953]

In my early days here I wai'd a young female student. The look of embarrassment on her face was alarming to me. Fortunately, a Thai friend who was with me at the time explained how to wai. Now, if I receive a wai from ANYONE I reply with a wai, whether security guard, street sweeper or bargirl.

And if I consider someone senior or in a high-status position (e.g. Immigration Officer) I will wai them first. And no, I do not wai a farang. Seeing farangs in bars waiing waitresses and bargirls first makes me cringe. Understand the custom, or doing nothing is better.

You should proof read what you write mate.One minute your giving a wai to a bar girl,the next,your cringing when others do it.You don't wai "ANYONE" just because they wai you.

[HooHaa]

i waied.

once.

he shook my hand.

job done

[Emster23]

I'd wait for older brother of wife to wai me first if I were older than him. He should honor me for taking sis off their hands I reckon. Father wai for sure, if you think wai is big deal. But not every frickin' time you meet them. I don't shake hands with people every time I run into them either.

[Nokawou]

I went with my wife to Thailand for the first time in the beginning of the year and she lives in a predominantly Thai community in Bangkok (I was the only Farang in there for the entire week) and NOBODY wai's ANYBODY there the only time I was waied to is when I was formally introduced and only one time. She did not wai anybody not even her sisters or mother when we went to visit and I was waied only when formally introduced. From all this I conclude that the wai is only for formal introductions and is not normally used in everyday life, so no wai'ing to strangers or service staff for me I just follow her example and wai back when formally introduced to somebody. This makes it all very simple, in the case of service staff wai'ing I normally nod she does not even do that just ignores the wai of service staff. I used to worry about this issue before going to Thailand but it seems to be very simple, wai back when formally introduced the rest of the time just nod or do nothing.