What To Do With Road Kill

[Blinky Bill]

Living in the Doi Saket district and driving into Chiang Mai on an almost daily basis I am often disturbed at the number of dead cats and dogs on the road. This of course, is not particular to Chiang Mai.

Once these animals have been struck the vehicle rarely stops, the unfortuneate creature lies wherever it managed to crawl to before being splattered by another vehicle or simply dying as a result of injuries from the first impact.

Nobody seems interested in removing these animals from the road and consequently more vehicles run over the animal, the end result is that the cat or dog ends up smeared over several square metres of road. The stench is often overpowering but it doesn't seem to worry the locals who often go about there business only metres from the offending dead animal.

I have hit a few cats and dogs over the years and have always stopped to remove the deceased from the road.

Is there any authority that is responsilble for the removal of dead animals from the roads?

[fxm88]

Mmmm...roadkill!

[Diablo Bob]

BB

I agree with your assesment of the problem, just this morning while coming in from Mae Jo, I witnessed a dog get hit by a motorcycle, didn't kill him, but he wasn't using all four legs as he limped away.

With this in mind, a poor Thai/Falang could follow him, and wait until he croaked and use the following recipe for a healthy meal:

Dog or Cat Meatballs

1) 1 Kg of eithwer Dog or Cat, any proportion, 6 slices of white bread, 1/2 cup of water, 1/3 cup of butter, 1 1/3 cup of chopped onion, Salt and freshly ground black pepper, 2 Tablespoons chopped parsley, 2 Tablespoons flour, 1 1/2 cups of milk.

2) Soak bread in water for 5 minutes. Squeze excess water out, Melt butter in skillet, Saute onion in butter until tender, combine dog and cat meat, squezed bread, four teaspoons of salt, 1/2 teaspoon of pepper and parsley, Form mixture into 3 cm balls, chill 20 minutes, Heat remaining butter in skillet, Brown dog and cat balls on all sides, cover skillet and cook slowly for 15 minutes, Remove balls to warm platter, sprinkle flour over skillet droppings, stir and cook for 1 minute, stir in milk and bring to a boil, season to taste with salt and pepper, Return Dog and Cat balls to skillet for 4 minutes

3) Searves 8

Just think how much we can save by not having to pay out 100-110 baht/Kg for meat and just use Roadkill instead.

Remember, after their skinned they look just like a chicken!

[chanchao]

> Is there any authority that is responsilble for the removal of

> dead animals from the roads?

Yes, I believe it's a private company, Ants & Maggots Co., Ltd.

[chanchao]

> Remember, after their skinned they look just like a chicken!

I noticed the feet look different though. I can just about handle a claw in my green curry, but having paws float around... that may require some effort not to raise an eyebrow ever so slightly.

[BigMac]

Here are 100 suggestions for uses of a dead cat........

Carpet beater.

Slippers.

Back scratcher.

Javelin.

Baseball bat.

Rug.

Golf club.

Feed one to the ducks in the local pond.

Athletics 'hammer'.

Christmas present.

Speed humps.

Walking stick.

Snooker cue.

Bog brush.

Substitute loo roll.

Scarf.

Pin cushion.

Cut off the feet and use them as ink wells.

Tie some horse hair between the front and back legs to make a violin bow.

Pillow.

Bath sponge.

Hat.

Umbrella pole.

Greyhound racetrack 'hare'.

Cat's eyes in the road.

Heavy duty fly swatter.

Padding for ice hockey players.

Towel.

Create a nice little water feature for the garden.

'Pin the tail on the cat'.

Kicking stand for rugby balls.

Cricket bat.

Conductor's baton.

Shield.

Arrow.

Cut off the tail and use as a quill.

Conversation piece for the coffee table.

Airplane chocks.

Backpack.

Wear it on your head and run round shouting, "I'm covered in cat hair!!".

Use two dead cats to make a pair of gloves.

Fire poker.

Luge.

Kneeling pad.

Chuck one into a 'conker tree' to knock the conkers down.

Novelty draught excluder.

Use one to suffocate your enemies.

Partly bury, head first, in the ground... now you have a firework launching pad!

Barbecue fuel.

After a short time it can be used as a redneck air freshener.

Prop in sanitary towel adverts.

Dog food.

Run electrical wire through it to make a decorative lamp stand.

Door stop.

Oven mitt.

A 'conversation piece' in the living room when you have people over you really don't like.

Practice for that brother that's learning taxidermy.

Give it to a cat lover >

Use the head as a disposable tennis ball at picnics.

Put one in the middle of the road to make speeding drivers feel bad.

Use them for traction when your car gets stuck in the snow.

A goose emulator.

Halloween decoration.

Put it in your teacher's trunk or under the car seat.

Put on desk chair of co-worker who takes credit for something you did.

Flatten out, dry it and use as a frisbee.

Smack the neighbours.

Food for the homeless.

Drop them by the thousands on France and Iraq.

Bookend.

Toupee.

Stuffing for Beanbag chair.

Seasoning.

Bake into a meatloaf and give it to in-laws.

Drop 100 of them along with 100 dead dogs from an airplane onto a trailer park so when the rednecks there say "it's raining cats and dogs" they will actually be right.

Sew 3-4 together and give to spouse as a anniversary gift.

Coffee Table.

Sympathy vote at parties.

Keeping the flies off your marmite.

New superhero - "Exkittytron".

Position over your face to protect the small micro-organisms that exist in your beard.

Shave it, stick the fur all over you, then say you're part cat.

Tea cosy.

Scarecrow for very dumb birds.

Measure the circumference of a room by swinging it.

Lure for a live dog.

Put in the garden borders for repelling rabbits.

A small child's bike.

Your dad's a what?!

Attach to a long wooden pole and use to sweep chimneys.

Throw at bears in a zoo.

Burn and use as fertilizer.

Use as antenna ball.

Soak up blood at crime scenes.

Large paintbrush.

Bury it in your backyard, give it an elaborate tombstone, and claim that it haunts your house.

Use to decorate your high-tech laser.

Taxiderm it and display in your window all year round.

Taxiderm it and place on your couch for when guests come over.

Bury it.

[Tywais]

I know the OP wants a serious answer but I can't think of one.

[Tywais]

[tigerbeer]

BB, try the Pets, Gardening subforum. ! You ain't getting shit answers here... lol

[Blinky Bill]

BB, try the Pets, Gardening subforum. ! You ain't getting shit answers here... lol

Didn't really expect any serious answers, getting a few laughs though.

I was thinking of setting up a company to patrol the roads to collect dead animals before they get too putrid and recycling them as pet food.

[Maejo Man]

I have hit a few cats and dogs over the years and have always stopped to remove the deceased from the road.

Is there any authority that is responsilble for the removal of dead animals from the roads?

What a heap of horse excreta!!! I can remember one night in particular when I had the misfortune to be riding in the back of your pickup, tending to a comatose mate along with his motorcycle. You had an paralytic out of work Canadian crab fisherman in the front with you, dog spotting!

Your grand total for the run from the middle of nowhere back to the LV was three! Did you stop? The h ell you did. I've got a lot older since then, and don't drink half as much

[Blinky Bill]

I have hit a few cats and dogs over the years and have always stopped to remove the deceased from the road.

Is there any authority that is responsilble for the removal of dead animals from the roads?

What a heap of horse excreta!!! I can remember one night in particular when I had the misfortune to be riding in the back of your pickup, tending to a comatose mate along with his motorcycle. You had an paralytic out of work Canadian crab fisherman in the front with you, dog spotting!

Your grand total for the run from the middle of nowhere back to the LV was three! Did you stop? The h ell you did. I've got a lot older since then, and don't drink half as much

That must have been Porno in the front. Well yes we did bowl 1 or 2 over without stopping. Obviously we were in a bit of a rush to get to the next bar after the Hash run.

And yes, we are a lot older now and I have come to realise the value of dead cats and dogs. I reckon now the dead animal (a quick tap on the head of those not quite dead) would be straight in the back of the pick-up ready to be put in cans and on the shelves of the supermarkets in the Pet Food section.

[Diablo Bob]

BB,

Instead of selling the freshly dead carcases to the cat & dog food companies, I would suggest opening up at stall at a local Thai market.

This stall would truly cater to the conasuir of Road Kill culinary delights. May I suggest the Mee Chok Market (Mae Jo Rd, & Ring Rd.) and their name can easily be changed to Up Chuck market.

DB

[Maejo Man]

That must have been Porno in the front. Well yes we did bowl 1 or 2 over without stopping. Obviously we were in a bit of a rush to get to the next bar after the Hash run.

Porno was in the back unconsious, it was the other one in the front with you I'm glad that we are all grown up now

[Mr Jones]

grown up my arse

we never grow up

we are men

except it

Flip I have forgottend my name

[Ricardo]

Simply return the roadkill to the Night Safari, and claim your 200 free chickens, unless it was an escaped elephant, in which case your motor is probably f****d.

[Ricardo]

I know the OP wants a serious answer but I can't think of one.

Cue for a TV-CM BBQ get-together ! My place or yours ?

[Pond Life]

Will it be a "bring your own" type BBQ ?

[Tywais]

Will it be a "bring your own" type BBQ ?

Just pick up something on the way.

[PREM-R]

Last night Thai Channel 3 news featured a horse that had been 'knocked down' and was left dead in the road. (Driver of vehicle which hit the horse presumably 'fled the scene') The police and assorted 'rescue' personel were shown stood about scratching their heads and then the story cuts to a group of 'motor-cycle taxi' drivers who had chopped up said horse and were busy making a 'stew' of it. The news report comented that horse meet had a stronger taste than pork or chicken.

[Ricardo]

Khun wifey's response :-

Simply contact your nearest Burmese person, they operate an informal recovery/recycling network, for all dogs/cats/etc, regardless of whether or not it's been injured.

[Blinky Bill]

Khun wifey's response :-

Simply contact your nearest Burmese person, they operate an informal recovery/recycling network, for all dogs/cats/etc, regardless of whether or not it's been injured.

Hmmmmm......Competition? Might be a burmese or 2 ending up in the pet food cans.