...

When I got up this morning, this turd was sitting in a concrete flower pot (the 1m long type). Just yesterday I had worked on the soil in preparation for putting up a trellis and planting ceylon spinach.

This is a head scratcher - the turd is clearly the "work" of a largish animal, most certainly a dog (most definitely not a cat), yet: not even a small dog could get through my gate, so the only likely point of invasion is over the fence. And here's the puzzle: to do that, it would have had to jump on the bonnet of my car and then onto the roof and then onto the fence. And then reverse the process. In other words, it would have needed the agility of a cat. Also, no scratches or markings or paw prints - zilch. Not even in the soil, so it would have had to balance itself on the edges of the pot. Very puzzling.

It's not likely to be a warning from my neighbours for my rude behaviour. For a start, I'm so well liked most of them strew petals not turds in my path. And anyway, dud grenades are easier to handle, less messy. It's likely I could have gone sleepwalking and answered the call of nature, but I have no history of that (sleepwalking, I mean). A hang glider straying from Jomtien beach? A long shot. (Oh dear.)

So who or what, and why and how? I intend to find the answer, I shall not be deturd.

Did your mother or father in Law visited you?

Dig it in seems you're lucky.

Dig it in seems you're lucky.

you mean something will grow out of it???

Dig it in seems you're lucky.

I've tried growing these before - tricky, need lots of fertilizer.

That's quite a nugget. Tiger I'd reckon.

I really wish I hadn't opened this thread

Can't think of a forum rule it breaks, yet

You gave me a "like" and then took it back.

Hope your garden is full of them tomorrow morning

I really wish I hadn't opened this thread

Can't think of a forum rule it breaks, yet

Before you take any action, PLEEEASE help me solve this conundrum. Pleeease. :) It's driving me up the wall. My ceylon spinach is in danger.

All credit to Crossy for both honesty and a well balanced view.

All credit to Crossy for both honesty and a well balanced view.

Agree. I was hesitant about writing this, but it's all a bit weird. I live in a mooban, and as I indicated, no dog could get into my yard, yet it looks like the droppings of a large dog. Perhaps a monkey? No scuttlebutt in the mooban of any monkeys in the vicinity. Sorry if I've put you off your lunch. That was not my intention, despite the lighthearted comments. Perhaps the famed TV detectives can help? A scatalogical expert among you?

I really would like to know what large critter is using my yard as a toilet in the depths of the night, and disappearing without leaving any other clues.

Do you have a dog? No? Than most likely a cat who felt safe enough on your ground to spent the time for such an epic bowel movement.

A dog would just poo on your tiles and not in a plant pot.

Chonburiram, with all due respect, mate, but I think you should read the OP and subsequent posts a bit more carefully. Cheers.

Just bec you dont believe it's a cat, it still could be one... dont take this shit too serious... Cheers.

What a shit thread.

Thanks for sharing.

That's a human turd, looks like it's got peanuts in it, find out who had peanuts last night and you will find the culprit.

That's a human turd, looks like it's got peanuts in it

Or a giant mutant squirrel

Whom is the father?

Goose.

No prints in the soil.... maybe something two legged....

That's quite a nugget. Tiger I'd reckon.

looks more like saltwater crocodile.

Your wife needs more attention....its her acting out......whats the age diffrence?