I was enjoying my coffee, this morning, on my veranda, when my dearest wife drives in the front gate.

Comes out of the car, holding a plastic bag and proclaims with a proud voice.

I got it, I got it.

What have you got, love of my life?

I’ve got the turtle.

First take it out of the plastic, before it suffocates and then come and tell me why, my precious, have you got a turtle?

Went to the Wat, yesterday to make merit, and I consulted the chief monk about my life.

After consulting his scripts, he told me that this is not going to be a good year for me.

But this can be rectified, if I buy a turtle from the market and go and put it in the lake.

Will you come with me to put it together in the lake?

And how much did you pay, star of my eyes, for the merit and the turtle?

Gave 500Baht to the priest and 200Baht for the turtle.

Definitely, I’ll come with you to the lake, my precious, just to throw you in with the turtle.

Then, may be, I will have a good year for myself.

I’m under the impression she wasn’t amused with that…….but we can’t please everybody all the time…………..

Anyway, here is the poor thing that at least will get its freedom back.

700 baht out of pocket and you say a good year for you sorry but you fail eat the darn turtle then drown the wife.

I've had a turtle head a few times. It's cost me a new pair of pants.

Turtles have a long life of 100 years!

It does not matter how much the coasts!

It's a friend for. Lifetime!

Turtles have a long life of 100 years!

It does not matter how much the coasts!

It's a friend for. Lifetime!

Have you got many turtle friends, Sandy?

By the way, just realised the wife got the car and the turtle and gone to the lake, without me.............don't know why!

Edited April 4, 201511 yr by Costas2008

Turtles have a long life of 100 years!

It does not matter how much the coasts!

It's a friend for. Lifetime!

Have you got many turtle friends, Sandy?

By the way, just realised the wife got the car and the turtle and gone to the lake, without me.............don't know why!

She wants another 700 baht.

Turtles have a long life of 100 years!

It does not matter how much the coasts!

It's a friend for. Lifetime!

Have you got many turtle friends, Sandy?

By the way, just realised the wife got the car and the turtle and gone to the lake, without me.............don't know why!

Because she had something to do while you're on TVF writing turtle stories...

Update on the big issue;

Wife is back with big smile on her face.

She told me that she put the turtle in the lake and wrote her name and surname on the turtle's back.(she's got my surname)

The next market vendor that catches the turtle will think he's got the jack pot.

He's got a farang turtle

Costas has forgotten his medication again.

Turtles remind of bargirls.

Once the are on their backs...they'r <deleted>$#@d.

Sorry, I had to say it out loud.

Not unlike to my wife who keeps calling my little thing a turtle... have no idea why....

Update on the big issue;

Wife is back with big smile on her face.

She told me that she put the turtle in the lake and wrote her name and surname on the turtle's back.(she's got my surname)

The next market vendor that catches the turtle will think he's got the jack pot.

He's got a farang turtle

She fit a Greek surname on that little thing's back?

She was hoping that you would shell out occasionally.

The Thai word for Turtle is "dao',i recall,and if you find a place with many Turtle's this is "ban dao',however beware Costas as if your wife sniffs you near your armpits and says "ban dao',this means you stink, like a Turtle i suppose.

Turtles have a long life of 100 years!

It does not matter how much the coasts!

It's a friend for. Lifetime!

Have you got many turtle friends, Sandy?

By the way, just realised the wife got the car and the turtle and gone to the lake, without me.............don't know why!

Do Sandy's Turtle friends,understand him,possibly more than many of us ,i venture.

All this story needs are a few Ninja Turtles to save te day

Guess which business the monk has at the market...golden times ahead for him

Malaysian snail eating Turtle!

My wife the turtle and me.

I thought this thread would be about some kinky threesome involving bestiality.

Edited April 4, 201511 yr by Suradit69

Should have written some random lottery numbers on it

Then sit back and watch the fun when someone finds it

Costas are you sure this isn't a mock turtle ?

When I was young we always had a hamper from Fortnums every Christmas - often had a jar of turtle soup.

Of course now you can only get mock turtle soup- because of the tree hugging environmental types.

I would suggest you turn it into a wonderful soup- go easy on the fish sauce, it will overpower the delicate flesh.

( I am jesting of course- but the hamper story is true- it was a while back )

PS what on earth goes into mock turtle soup?

700 Baht for a little turtle? She was mugged!!!!

Costas are you sure this isn't a mock turtle ?

When I was young we always had a hamper from Fortnums every Christmas - often had a jar of turtle soup.

Of course now you can only get mock turtle soup- because of the tree hugging environmental types.

I would suggest you turn it into a wonderful soup- go easy on the fish sauce, it will overpower the delicate flesh.

( I am jesting of course- but the hamper story is true- it was a while back )

PS what on earth goes into mock turtle soup?

Mock turtles, of course. (Tortises)!!! 555

By releasing a turtle you will have a good life. I think the guy that sold you the turtle will have a good life You bought the poor thing from him

Costas are you sure this isn't a mock turtle ?

When I was young we always had a hamper from Fortnums every Christmas - often had a jar of turtle soup.

Of course now you can only get mock turtle soup- because of the tree hugging environmental types.

I would suggest you turn it into a wonderful soup- go easy on the fish sauce, it will overpower the delicate flesh.

( I am jesting of course- but the hamper story is true- it was a while back )

PS what on earth goes into mock turtle soup?

Mock turtles, of course. (Tortises)!!! 555

Don't be silly- tortoises are a completely different species and I don't think you can eat them .

But the poor mock turtle was very confused- his teacher was a turtle - and they called his tortoise - why because he taught us.

As a child just loved Lewis Carroll

Regards Peter

700 baht out of pocket and you say a good year for you sorry but you fail eat the darn turtle then drown the wife.

Apparently the Thai nursing authority powers that be allow for nurses to adhere to voodoo and fortune telling in their everyday lives. What a load of crap to be told about a supposedly educated woman who is supposedly a nurse as previously mentioned in other Costas family posts.

Costas ya daft apeth, having your Greek surname inscribed by a mad Thai lady onto the back of a turtle that will be set into a lake somewhere in the Thai countryside can lead to identity theft.

You better change all your locks and passwords and transfer all your savings to me until you're feeling better.

In the market place,here in Mae Sai you can buy live tortoises , about 8 inches across the shell . What do Thai people do with them.. EAT ?

Yes. And the shells make very nice decorative ashtrays to give to your relatives back home. Or if it's one of those huge great big ones you could end up in jail or have to smoke a lot of cigs.

Edited April 4, 201511 yr by Patsycat

Update on the big issue;

Wife is back with big smile on her face.

She told me that she put the turtle in the lake and wrote her name and surname on the turtle's back.(she's got my surname)

The next market vendor that catches the turtle will think he's got the jack pot.

He's got a farang turtle

The next vendor that catches that turtle, will probably throw it back.

A Greek turtle will signify the vendor will be broke by the end of the year