Some New Ones To Ponder Over

[Mr Jones]

>

>Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up

>every two hours?

>

>If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

>

>Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are

>flat?

>

>Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is

>not enough?

>

>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but

>check when you say the paint is wet?

>

>

>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

>

>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

>

>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a

>revolver at him?

>

>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

>

>Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

>

>What is the speed of darkness?

>

>Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the

>Special Olympics?

>

>If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold

>tomorrow, how cold will it be?

>

>If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing

>here?

>

>Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

>

>Do you cry under water?

>

>How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a

>good idea to put wheels on luggage?

>

>Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars

>to look at things on the ground?

>

>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

>these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

>

>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat

>the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

>Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to

>a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

>

>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

>

>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't

>point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

>

>Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get

>undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

>

>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both

>dogs !

>

>Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

>

>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

>

>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

>then what is baby oil made from?

>

>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

>

>Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

>tune?

>Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

>

>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

>

>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

>you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

>window?

>

>Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?