How To Get Ready For "first Date"?

[Espada]

what do you do to prepare yourself for date? i know you have to get well dress up from head to toes. what did you do beside this? are you getting nervous? just for fun. have not visit this site for many week. miss you all!

[PeaceBlondie]

Mouthwash, deodorant, fresh undies....I guess you knew that.

Oh, and if that's you in your avatar, ruffle your angel wings.

[Ijustwannateach]

Let's see... make sure it's an evening and a time when you're not going to have problems getting there on time- even if it's raining....

Choose a landmark well-known to both of you. If you must meet in a location where one or both of you is unsure or new, choose a landmark that everyone else in the area will know, so you can ask about it.

Probably better to choose a place where the foreigner (if you're meeting a foreigner ) is going to stand out a bit, rather than a place with many foreigners where you might have to feel embarrassed walking around looking for him.

If you or the foreigner doesn't have a mobile, the above 3 points are even more important.

You should probably both give yourselves several exit opportunities. Don't overschedule the first date, just the first part of it, which should be something short and light, like coffee. If both of you feel good about it, move on to dinner or a movie or something by mutual agreement. If you overplan, you risk trapping yourselves in a long, awful evening that may be a waste of time for one or both of you.

Even though the older, richer person is supposed to pay in Thailand, it shows good manners and cross-cultural understanding (assuming you're the younger partner) you offer to pay for your part anyway. If your date is aware you are a student he should be kind enough to refuse to let you, or at least only take a token amount.

I'd strongly recommend planning ahead *not* to have sex on the first date, no matter how attractive the guy is. That communicates that you're looking primarily for a relationship and that you're not easy or desperate. I would go as far as visiting your friend's home for a short time (making it clear you can only stay a short time)- this will give you a lot of information about him very quickly.

Oh, and relax. As long as you're having a good time, there's no hurry. Enjoy the attention!

"S"

[endure]

Big smile, clean skiddies, socks with no holes in... what more do you need?

[PeaceBlondie]

Try to plan ahead about what you might talk about, questions and answers you'll be asking each other. If you're a talker and you both speak the same language well, meet at a fairly quiet place. Otherwise, a loud place. I sat next to two gay men last night, one a Frenchman and the other a Thai, and neither of them could understand the other guy's accent.

[jdinasia]

first! DON'T MAKE A LIST!

Leave your massive expectations at home!

Dress appropriate to the "date" itself ....going to a movie? Casual and clean is fine! If it is wandering the night market by the river ... then comfy shoes and an umbrella !

Pick something that you both seem to be interested in <movies as first dates suck .... unless you really know nothing about the guy. Then a dinner/movie/drink afterwards combo is OK.

My one real piece of advice is DON'T do a loud gay bar .... just too distracting for a date!

There are a few things that people don't think of that actually CAN be a decent date ---- Bowling <there is food and beverge and omething to do there that doesn't require constant talking>

Temple fairs .... lots to see and do that are likely a bit unusual for both people

ANYTHING happening at the Thai Cultural Center <<West Side Story is opening soon!!!>>

Remember a date is NOT about falling in love ..... and the purpose of a first date will either be 1) getting laid ... or 2) getting to know someone well enough to decide if there will be a 2nd date!

[popshirt]

I think meeting for coffee is better than meeting at a bar or club.

[TopChinese]

1. Work on your look. You have to look devastatingly gorgeous yet tone down on the come-hither look. Think "Gorgeous but unavailable"

2. Think of funny and engaging topics to bring up eg the weather, the new airport and Thaksin. Don't use placards.

3. Trim your pubes, your chest hair and butt. U never know.

4. Remember condoms/lube/dental dams. U never know.

5. Douche. U never know.

[Espada]

Mouthwash, deodorant, fresh undies....I guess you knew that.

Oh, and if that's you in your avatar, ruffle your angel wings.

Ok, mouthwash ---> checked!

deodorant ---> checked

white sexy tiny undies---> checked

thanks mom! anything else?

[Espada]

Let's see... make sure it's an evening and a time when you're not going to have problems getting there on time- even if it's raining....

Choose a landmark well-known to both of you. If you must meet in a location where one or both of you is unsure or new, choose a landmark that everyone else in the area will know, so you can ask about it.

Probably better to choose a place where the foreigner (if you're meeting a foreigner ) is going to stand out a bit, rather than a place with many foreigners where you might have to feel embarrassed walking around looking for him.

If you or the foreigner doesn't have a mobile, the above 3 points are even more important.

You should probably both give yourselves several exit opportunities. Don't overschedule the first date, just the first part of it, which should be something short and light, like coffee. If both of you feel good about it, move on to dinner or a movie or something by mutual agreement. If you overplan, you risk trapping yourselves in a long, awful evening that may be a waste of time for one or both of you.

Even though the older, richer person is supposed to pay in Thailand, it shows good manners and cross-cultural understanding (assuming you're the younger partner) you offer to pay for yo ur part anyway. If your date is aware you are a student he should be kind enough to refuse to let you, or at least only take a token amount.

I'd strongly recommend planning ahead *not* to have sex on the first date, no matter how attractive the guy is. That communicates that you're looking primarily for a relationship and that you're not easy or desperate. I would go as far as visiting your friend's home for a short time (making it clear you can only stay a short time)- this will give you a lot of information about him very quickly.

Oh, and relax. As long as you're having a good time, there's no hurry. Enjoy the attention!

"S"

such a nice advies! Thank you na ja. Of course, no sex, no sex, no sex, no sex

[Espada]

1. Work on your look. You have to look devastatingly gorgeous yet tone down on the come-hither look. Think "Gorgeous but unavailable"

2. Think of funny and engaging topics to bring up eg the weather, the new airport and Thaksin. Don't use placards.

3. Trim your pubes, your chest hair and butt. U never know.

4. Remember condoms/lube/dental dams. U never know.

5. Douche. U never know.

TC seem like they sending me to war!

[boybrat]

ooohh!!! first dates!

lesson to learn. do not accept blind dates by well meaning friends. they usually end up ugly. nice but ugllllyyyy. i accepted a few from well meaning friends,went for the dinner, had ok-times, was my perky bubbly self and did NOT follow up when the dinners over. do not say "I wil call" if you dont intend to call. more on that later.

right. i accepted a blind sexdate from gaydar about 2 months ago (i knowww!!!!! I KNOW!!) thought i would just take a chance, right? RIGHT? wrong!!

he said he was defined, gymfit, 35, and VGL. that blob on the bed was fat, at least 55, had man-tits and a face like a sharpei sucking a lemon, i.e NOT pretty. i waltzed in thru the doors of his 4 seasons suite, and scampered out post haste, but not before giving him a piece of my mind for wasting my time and taxi fare!!!

i mean im NOT ageist but hey BE HONEST. but then he must be loaded cos its a HUGE suite with double doors. and i saw heaps of shopping bags from gucci, vuitton, etc and some fabulous tiffany and co. boxes on the table...

anyway back to first dates: do not try too hard to impress. be yourself. and yea yea, shower, powder, etc etc. and yup topchinese is right.

now theres nothing wrong with sleeping with someone after the first date, u get to check the good stuff first. if the first date sex is bad, RUN. cos first date sex are the ones where both parties will try to show off their sexual prowness and if it falls below the mark. scamper away. rule of thumb: if they are good kissers, they are good in bed, and vice versa.

u can also check if yr potential partner's appendage is jumbo or pocket sized. and if can be good to get some things out of the way. but then of course u can wait until the second and third date before u have sex..its yr choice..but theres nothing wrong with doing it on the first date.

next: do not use too much cologne. just a dab will do. make sure its a good one cos cheap perfume smells cheap. no duh. most gay boys put on wayyy too much perfume. just a dab will be more than enuff.

to dress up: try to wear only white or black underwear. stick to y fronts, plain boxers or boxer briefs. for ######s sake, please dont try too hard with g strings, thongs and leopard prints. they are tacky and ugglly. ugly underwear too can be gossip fodder for bitchy gay boys over brunch.

stick to black socks when wearing leather shoes and white socks when wearing trainers. and NO SOCKS WITH SANDALS ( white guys, hear that???) socks with sandals are hideous. ugh. vomit.

at a restaurant, eat something simple thats not messy cos u are trying to create a good impression with yr impeccable manners, no? so DONT order bone-y chicken, crabs, prawns, etc cos they are difficult to eat without leaving a mess. dont eat asparagus either cos that vegetable makes yr pee stink real bad.

if u plan to have oral sex shortly after the first date, do not eat spicy food. chili bits might get stuck between the teeth. can be quite painful. and yes, its great gossip fodder. and no garlicky stuff either cos it stinks up the breath.

remember, a first date is like doing a sales call and YOU are the product for "sale". u must look yr best. see it that way.

and ohhh...please offer to split the bill. its a great gesture. i usually split my bills in half, but if the other party insists on paying, u can do 2 things:

1. offer to buy coffee and dessert at another place after the dinner

OR

2. tell him that the next time you meet, it will be your turn to foot it. if u are a student, it doesnt have to be a grand place when its yr turn. a simple stall will do. but its YOUR TREAT. and yr date will appreciate that.

for first dates, dinners are the best. choose a nice place. coffees are too informal, i think and the worst are movies. why? cos its yr first date you are supposed to communicate and talk/find out more about each oter, not stare goggle eyed at the movie screen.

now, when the date's over and u dont think u want to see the person anymore, please dont be as ###### and say " ill call" when u dont intend to. some people actually might wait for yr call. tell him that u had a great time, smile and walk away. and if he says that he'll call, accept his calls, meet up with him again, and he might end up as a friend.

remember, a first date is NOT for falling in love. going out with someone on a first date doesnt mean u guys are an item.

and lastly, please be punctual. tardiness/lateness is not attractive.

in all: dating is fun. enjoy dating.!!)

Edited October 2, 2006 by PeaceBlondie

[Ijustwannateach]

Geez, I thought *I* was bad! ....

[Ijustwannateach]

So what do you do on the *2nd* date, BB?

[TopChinese]

OMG BB, you are SOOO RIGHT!!! I wai before you, King of First Dates!

Just had a rather bland first date the other night and I really couldn't be bothered to pounce on him. Guess there is such a thing as "trying too hard". He spend the whole time during dinner fluttering his eyes at me and I was so.... *yawn*.

In the end I used an old trick and dumped him in a bar. This way, I can avoid hurting his feelings and leave him an opportunity to go find someone else. Alternatively, suggest a sauna and then leave him there alone..

Please share how do you get rid of first dates that do not work out?

(Btw, where can I find egyptian cotton sheets in BKK?)

[PeaceBlondie]

It's okay to make a list if you know you won't use it. I know a teacher who makes a list of her lists. The easiest way to forget something is to put it on a list.

Do gay guys speak with a list, or do the huge guys just list to one side?

[Espada]

wow wow... BB is such a details. i felt like i'm on diet course.

Edited September 19, 2006 by Espada

[boybrat]

topchinese: i dunno, bro. was he bland as in "not cute" or was he bland as in "more boring than watching mushrooms grow". cos if he's cute but boring, just jump into bed and then tell him that u are not the relationship type afterwards. dress up and leave when the deed is done.

and is he's NOT cute....well &lt;deleted&gt; are u doing dating someone not cute in the first place. its YOUR fault. so aint getting no sympathy from me, girl. *snaps fingers like a black girl called sheneequa* hahaha!

now i ended a disastrous date very professionally once. he was a rice queen who like his boys "exotic" and demure, im well...me. we were set up by well meaning friends. he was quite shaggable, really, but BOOORRIINNNGGG. so boring that my libido left me and packed a vuitton trunk to bora bora. yes, childe he was THAT boring.

we had absolutely nothing in common. zilch. zip. nada. dinner ended and we got up. i immediatelysaid, " think i should call it a night. nice meeting you. the food was good, wasnt it, goodbye". shhok hands and left. nobody was embarrassed, and no drama. he knew i was not interested to pursue the night and i dont think im his type.

didnt call and he didnt call me either.

do not do runners.its not very nice. just end the date with a handshake, BUT dont say youll call when u dont want to.easy peasy! however, i will take their calls if they phone and might even accept coffee, dinner, etc. and before u know it, youve made a new friend!!!and if they try to court you, tell them that ud rather be friends..taadaahhh!!!!!

egyptian cotton sheets? try emporium or paragon or any one of those big malls infested by botoxed thai women with big hair.

[boybrat]

So what do you do on the *2nd* date, BB?

second dates: usually a bit more informal, cycling, museum visits, etc.

dated a guy once and we had a great picnic! nice food, we brought books, etc. i remember cos he read the da vinci code and i brought lemony snicket's penultimate peril!

[TopChinese]

I think women should douche too. Unless str8 guys are happy to meet a girl with poor hygiene?

(mental note to oneself)

Add #6 to list:

- During these troubled times, avoid all 1st dates. Unless he's George Clooney or Jesse Metcalfe, in which case you tell him to come to your place and meet him indoors.

Edited September 20, 2006 by TopChinese

[Rumourz]

It doesn't matter whether you have a date or not, a person should keep clean at all times. I always like hanging out with guys who wear cologne and girls who wear perfume. Of course they got to be looked clean as well! I loath people who dress sloppy.

Edited September 20, 2006 by Rumourz

[PeaceBlondie]

I'm still tempted to edit out some of boybrat's most vulgar terms, but what with the coup happening, and the motorcycle in the shop, I can't find my "mean old moderator" hat among all the baseball caps....just kidding, although I got the brightest lemon green baseball cap in Mae Hong Son, really too much. But, if the boyfriend of the week insists on posing you with a longneck Karen old lady with the gold rings, a neon-green baseball cap is good to hide under.

[boybrat]

pb: douche also means "shower" in french. i could be speaking french!

btw, its not vulgar! its useful information!!!!!! im sure some people out there will back me up. yes? yes? do i hear anyone??..

ooohh btw, im listening to paris hilton's new album. its fabulous! love it. played it in my office and my female colleagues liked the songs till i told them its paris hilton, then they said "oh". take that, bitches!!!

there this song called "screwed" its soo catchy."tonight tonight , ure gonna turn out the lights, lalala"...went on a date with this bloke last fri then we spent 30 minutes discussing paris hilton so.,...shes a great first date conversation topic.

Edited September 20, 2006 by boybrat

[popshirt]

wearing cologne is soooooooo 20th century!

Edited September 20, 2006 by popshirt

[Trouble]

BB: You have done it again. You definitely should be in comedy. You got it all from A to Z regarding preping for the first date and with such wonderful graphic descriptions. My hat is off to you once again.

[TopChinese]

Oh ######.. Trouble caught up to me preparing for my first date with him!!!

Well I guess khaki is the new black now... maybe Trouble will get into my cargos tonight if all goes well!!!

Where's that ###### douche?

[Trouble]

TC: See you at your place but only if you have those Egyptian Cotton sheets. I am ever so sensative to blended fabrics.

[Espada]

ok...list #19 wear cologne

i think i have enough information! thank you na ja!

Next : Oct, trip to BKK. Nov trip to Chaing Mai, Dec to Pattaya and Krabi

[-jr-]

second dates: usually a bit more informal, cycling, museum visits, etc.

dated a guy once and we had a great picnic! nice food, we brought books, etc. i remember cos he read the da vinci code and i brought lemony snicket's penultimate peril!

It's hard to find english book here in Germany. There's always only a teeny, tiny shelf for English section even in big book store. Mayersche here is 5-storey book store with only 2 shelves for English books, filled with Harry Potters, Artemis Fowls (no offence) and Terry Pratchett's books (yikes!).

Mid-popular titles like series of unfortunate events were never there when I was there. Had to order it with penultimate peril and already pre-ordered 'The End'. Hope to get it on Oct 13. Have you read Beatrice Letters yet? Is it worth buying?

btw, its not vulgar! its useful information!!!!!! im sure some people out there will back me up. yes? yes? do i hear anyone??..

ooohh btw, im listening to paris hilton's new album. its fabulous! love it. played it in my office and my female colleagues liked the songs till i told them its paris hilton, then they said "oh". take that, bitches!!!

I second that. Both about useful tips you gave and Paris' album. It's nice tune. I played it to some thai friends here. They kinda liked it as well but when it came to Stars are Blind, they knew who sings it and just blurted out disappointedly bias 'oh' as well. #@!#@!@##

Back to the topic, most were mentioned already. For me, I just be clean, on time, casual and honest. And that's all I expected from my date as well. About timing issue, I usually called my date 5 minutes before meeting time, telling him where I am and ask him where he is. That way I'd know if my date would be late or not. If he'd be late, I can go shopping or do other things rather than hogging a table for 15 minutes with just a cup of coffee, waiting for him. If I would be late, I usually called my date as soon as I'm sure I'd be late so that he wouldn't have to wait for me at the meeting point alone too long.

Planning ahead, be around the meeting point before meeting time is much better, unless you're really on a tight schedule. If there is really nothing interesting around the meeting point, bring a book. It could also be a conversation material as well. I won't recommend a magazine because it makes you look cheap and also not a newspapers 'coz it makes you look like opa.

Sex or no sex? Go with the flow, if you'd like to and he'd like to, do it. Small teasing is fine but playing hard to get or pulling a britney is so yesterday.

Edited September 23, 2006 by -jr-

[PeaceBlondie]

My problem is that I'm afraid I'd be "so yesterday" or so "last year." Or, God forbid, last milenium. I mean, how much googling and ogling does it take to know what's precisely the latest fad? Or the latest fag? Are we supposed to throw away the first 30-odd or 50-odd years of life experiences, so that all we know is whether to love or hate Paris Hilton? The first time I heard of Paris Hilton was this year, and I thought naturally, "Oh, it's a hotel in France."

However, my first week in Nicaragua at age 56, when I got to dance to an Elvis Presley tune at the disco (wearing Texas cowboy boots and leather trousers), with a gorgeous male dancer named DiCaprio (no kidding), I said, "My grandmother told me about this song."