Farting

[Vespa]

What is the Thai policy on farting?

We know about the toothpick issue and covering your mouth with your hand

I think sneezing and blowing your nose is also considered very rude in public

But how is the natural act of farting regarded?

Can you rip one while standing in line with wanton abandon?

[taxexile]

verbal responses to hearing a loud fart in public.

1. "a bit more choke and she would have started."

2. "speak up caller, you're through."

3. "keep shouting sir , we'll find you."

[OneeyedJohn]

What is the Thai policy on farting?

Can you rip one while standing in line with wanton abandon?

Not really sure about that ..but a Wonton soup generally does the trick

[taxexile]

i dont think its the done thing here , thais are very sensitive to bodily excretions and odours and due to the everpresent crowds everywhere you go in this country , the opportunities to "farte blanche" are few and far between.

better to keep them in a holding pattern until you get home.

[Head Snake]

I think farts would be an improvement over some of the street smells.

[joe1912]

What is the Thai policy on farting?

We know about the toothpick issue and covering your mouth with your hand

I think sneezing and blowing your nose is also considered very rude in public

But how is the natural act of farting regarded?

Can you rip one while standing in line with wanton abandon?

you could try imitating a duck (a duck quacking that is not a duck farting), not too difficult with a little practise, then when in public look or point skyward to complete the subterfuge. Of course you will have to vacate the scene in a rapid manner if you have been drinking Guinness within the last 24 hours.

[Mighty Mouse]

I don't know anything about a 'farting policy' but I do know that in my house, she who has wind must take herself out of the television room and rip loose in any part of the house where she can't contaminate our food, or where her fumes will not infiltrate my nostrils.

I'm still trying to formulate a procedure for our bed. The main problem being that she explodes whilst asleep.

[wamberal]

On average, a man breaks wind 14 times a day, and a woman 7 times.

Some people's farts genuinely do not stink.......believe it or not.

My (Thai) wife farts many times a day, but mostly her farts do not stink. However, she is extremely shy about farting anywhere that anybody can hear her.....except me. In fact, she doesn't even like to pee where anybody can hear her.

[qualtrough]

On average, a man breaks wind 14 times a day, and a woman 7 times.

Some people's farts genuinely do not stink.......believe it or not.

My (Thai) wife farts many times a day, but mostly her farts do not stink. However, she is extremely shy about farting anywhere that anybody can hear her.....except me. In fact, she doesn't even like to pee where anybody can hear her.

I think farting in public is frowned on, but within the family policies vary. I know that my wife once told me that in her family they were regarded as a source of great amusement in her family-and I still married her. Contrary to the forum members experience above, hers reek and mine cannot be detected most times.

[farang prince]

I don't know anything about a 'farting policy' but I do know that in my house, she who has wind must take herself out of the television room and rip loose in any part of the house where she can't contaminate our food, or where her fumes will not infiltrate my nostrils.

I'm still trying to formulate a procedure for our bed. The main problem being that she explodes whilst asleep.

My dad used to say "The honeymoon is over when the bride farts in bed."

[Donz]

My gf farts generally dont smell at all. I tell her just to let them rip and when she does it sounds morelike a little pop.

I fart really loud, probaly louder then anyone I know

[CymruAmByth]

I was sat in a KL airport departure lounge next to two very well dressed Thai businessmen recently. One of them took a call and the other one got bored and lifted one cheek up and nearly tore himself a new a$$hole. It must have been a 5 second flute! Awesome!

Interestingly, not an eyelid was battered. It was as if nothing had happened!

I have taken this as acceptance of farting generally and will now fart with gay abandon, safe in the knowledge that posh people can get away with it in crowded rooms.

[webbew]

LOL! I knew I'd find a poop thread on this board somewhere.

It's been my limited experience with thai culture that saving face is very important, and thais will bend over backwards attempting to help people save it. Lord knows I've made my share of mistakes when in Thailand and the thai people I've been with have gone to great lengths at times to cover my screw ups. On that note, perhaps the farting incident in the airport was totally inappropriate but those in the area ignored it in an attempt to help the offender save face.

A good rule of thumb (in my opinion) is to simply not fart in public no matter what culture you are in. Unless you have GI problems, and then I think people will generally understand if you explain why you cannot control the situation. The bottom line is, you have nothing to lose socially by maintaining control of yourself and everything to gain.

[terry57]

cricky's punters,

"FARTING" , now where talking top shelf, king of the road personnal stuff.

this is a subject that needs a real heavy duty 1, 2 , 3 knockout response from my box of life's little experience's.

look,

i'm not going to piss around here and i'll tell you straight up what happened to myself when i really needed to let rip a custard tart .

i was at the surin round up and thought i was going to <deleted> my daks if i did'nt let a ripper out.

anyway,

being the polite fellow i am, i did not want to scare the thai punters, so i thought that i'do it near one of those elephants as they would not give a toss , and there health would be unaffected.

anyway, moving right along punters and please pay close attention here as i am a bit sensitive about what happen'ed next .

i let rip with a cracker fart that would of powered the space shuttle all the way to mars.

anyway, my back bottom was near in frigging flames.

jes-us frigging christ,

i turn around to see if the elephants got a giggle out of it and cricky's mate's, there was 30 of them laying stone dead on the freaking ground.

friends, now i must tell you all,

i <deleted> bricks as the thais where real bloody dark on my good self and started to get hostile.

i bolted out of there quick smart back to safety of rambuttri street and never went back to surin again.

now dont you punters tell anybody what happen'ed at surin.

cheers all punters.

[daleyboy]

I always use the fart and walk technique wherever i am. If i am in a supermarket for instance i will try to quietly let one dribble out while following someone else, then when the smell hits fellow browsers i can point at the person in front and hold my nose and then the blame is always on them.

If you cant find a suitable person to follow, just use your wife and blame her not that i ever do that mind

[chuchok]

I don't know anything about a 'farting policy' but I do know that in my house, she who has wind must take herself out of the television room and rip loose in any part of the house where she can't contaminate our food, or where her fumes will not infiltrate my nostrils.

I'm still trying to formulate a procedure for our bed. The main problem being that she explodes whilst asleep.

Good God man, take some control here.Farting is one of the last bastions of the male domain.She should be the one cowering in a corner with her face in a pillow, while you sit smirking into your ice cold beer that she has just poured for you......

A large meal of bakedbeans,fried onions and pickled eggs seems in order.

[cwilliam]

I always use the fart and walk technique wherever i am. If i am in a supermarket for instance i will try to quietly let one dribble out while following someone else, then when the smell hits fellow browsers i can point at the person in front and hold my nose and then the blame is always on them.

If you cant find a suitable person to follow, just use your wife and blame her not that i ever do that mind

My girlfriend sneaks out a fart,I don't know it till I smell it.I let out a roar!I win all the time.

Edited September 18, 2006 by cwilliam

[Mighty Mouse]

My gf farts generally dont smell at all. I tell her just to let them rip and when she does it sounds morelike a little pop.

Her little 'pop' could be the result of you only feeding her pop corn.

The poor girl needs a good meal.

[ronw]

Tut, tut, chaps....you really should be learning and practicing the

silent but deadly routine......and also learn to move quickly away!

[sadman]

verbal responses to hearing a loud fart in public.

1. "a bit more choke and she would have started."

2. "speak up caller, you're through."

3. "keep shouting sir , we'll find you."

"Speak, O toothless one"

[jdinasia]

verbal responses to hearing a loud fart in public.

1. "a bit more choke and she would have started."

2. "speak up caller, you're through."

3. "keep shouting sir , we'll find you."

"Speak, O toothless one"

If I see your wetsuit growing ... I'll be swimming the other way!

[Buckwheat]

verbal responses to hearing a loud fart in public.

1. "a bit more choke and she would have started."

2. "speak up caller, you're through."

3. "keep shouting sir , we'll find you."

"Speak, O toothless one"

"Your voice has changed but your breath is still the same"

[Donz]

Surprised yet no-one has asked "Why do thai people fart"

[chownah]

If I fart when kids are present I always say it was a frog.

[Pomrakuhn]

cricky's punters,

"FARTING" , now where talking top shelf, king of the road personnal stuff.

this is a subject that needs a real heavy duty 1, 2 , 3 knockout response from my box of life's little experience's.

look,

i'm not going to piss around here and i'll tell you straight up what happened to myself when i really needed to let rip a custard tart .

i was at the surin round up and thought i was going to <deleted> my daks if i did'nt let a ripper out.

anyway,

being the polite fellow i am, i did not want to scare the thai punters, so i thought that i'do it near one of those elephants as they would not give a toss , and there health would be unaffected.

anyway, moving right along punters and please pay close attention here as i am a bit sensitive about what happen'ed next .

i let rip with a cracker fart that would of powered the space shuttle all the way to mars.

anyway, my back bottom was near in frigging flames.

jes-us frigging christ,

i turn around to see if the elephants got a giggle out of it and cricky's mate's, there was 30 of them laying stone dead on the freaking ground.

friends, now i must tell you all,

i <deleted> bricks as the thais where real bloody dark on my good self and started to get hostile.

i bolted out of there quick smart back to safety of rambuttri street and never went back to surin again.

now dont you punters tell anybody what happen'ed at surin.

cheers all punters.

Thanks mate had me holding on to my sides on a dull poxy Monday here in Germany

[LoveDaBlues]

Hey, pick up the phone; some ass is calling!

[Mr Jones]

We fart cos we can, we enjoy it,

The best is when we let a quiet stinker go, then blame someone else,

a disgusted look and a side step works wonders.

[libya 115]

FOR

the most severe flatulence = scheme: let out eleven farts

[AmeriThai]

Tut, tut, chaps....you really should be learning and practicing the

silent but deadly routine......and also learn to move quickly away!

Not all can be SBDs. Some of those sneakers can turn out to be explosive buttcheek slappers. However, a bit of creative blaming can be useful.

Who To Blame For the Noisy Ones?

- Blame it on the person next to you

- Blame it on the dog

- Blame it on the weather (Think it'll rain? Sounds like thunder.)

- Blame it on mice (For those squeaky ones)

- Blame it on a passing tuk-tuk or motorcycle

- Blame it on your shoes

SBD Techniques

Escape Artist

Especially handy in densely crowded areas where the noxious nose wrenching SBD fumes are to be released. The object is to leave the area as quickly as possible without drawing attention to yourself. Everyone will be looking at everyone else and wondering who did it.

Surprise

Involves the release of an SBD when you are alone on an elevator (lift). When the doors open at a crowded floor simply exit the lift as others get on. Feel secure knowing that the unexpected 'surprise' will likely rise to nose height of the trapped passengers as soon as the doors close.

[farang prince]

Tut, tut, chaps....you really should be learning and practicing the

silent but deadly routine......and also learn to move quickly away!

Not all can be SBDs. Some of those sneakers can turn out to be explosive buttcheek slappers. However, a bit of creative blaming can be useful.

Who To Blame For the Noisy Ones?

- Blame it on the person next to you

- Blame it on the dog

- Blame it on the weather (Think it'll rain? Sounds like thunder.)

- Blame it on mice (For those squeaky ones)

- Blame it on a passing tuk-tuk or motorcycle

- Blame it on your shoes

SBD Techniques

Escape Artist

Especially handy in densely crowded areas where the noxious nose wrenching SBD fumes are to be released. The object is to leave the area as quickly as possible without drawing attention to yourself. Everyone will be looking at everyone else and wondering who did it.

Surprise

Involves the release of an SBD when you are alone on an elevator (lift). When the doors open at a crowded floor simply exit the lift as others get on. Feel secure knowing that the unexpected 'surprise' will likely rise to nose height of the trapped passengers as soon as the doors close.

My God, some of you people have reduced farting to an art form.