1000 bullets.....or is it a trick question and you need 1000 studs?

i am thinking about tieing a uk friend to the tree

his beerie farts drive everyone out of the house

youll need a cigarette lighter to get the best result, then you can have a barbecue

Become reincarnated as a bird- and join them. ( hopefully some crazy foreigner won't blast you out of existence)

Get a remote controlled cat, or put cat food near the tree hoping they will spay the tree that works with pigeons.

Counting sheep in known to work for some people...perhaps you could count the birds....Oh sorry....I see you've done that already. (555).

I have not seen any sheep in Thailand either.

Then you haven't been to Ratchaburi. Plenty of sheep there.

Apart from that, is the OP sure they are birds? I mean usually birds are quiet at night.

I agree. Most probably cicadas.

Edited September 14, 201510 yr by chefseph

Burn the tree down

Short of constant noise makers, lots of imported cats, or a lot of rounds from a scatter gun which you are not allowed to have, the only other recourse is to get rid of the tree. Head down to walking street in Pattaya. There is that big old tree that has been there before Pattaya was on the map. Darn thing is loaded with birds and they seem to chirp all night long right in the middle of all that walking street ruckus

Phone immigration.

And if any of the birds have migrated from abroad, don`t have a visa to lay claim to that tree, have the whole lot deported.

Counting sheep in known to work for some people...perhaps you could count the birds....Oh sorry....I see you've done that already. (555).

I have not seen any sheep in Thailand either.

Then you haven't been to Ratchaburi. Plenty of sheep there.

Apart from that, is the OP sure they are birds? I mean usually birds are quiet at night.

I agree. Most probably cicadas.

They're silenced quite easily.

These on wind-driven fishing line might help if it's all night:

you chain your cat to the tree

If you can isolate the birds that sound like The Rolling Stones, please send them to a tree near us.

Can they do requests?

'Pleased to meet choo, hope you guess my name.

Tweet, tweeet, tweet, tweeet'.

just enjoy the beauty of nature

Commit suicide [emoji39]

dress up in a cat costume and stand at base of tree meowing

or go over and ask the birds if they do requests....most birds are reasonable and should be able to belt out Moon river or if you are lucky that whistling tune from the Bridge on the River Kwai