My thai girlfriend - is she cheating on me?

[55Jay]

Since we're taking the piss...

https://youtu.be/9aofoBrFNdg

The theme song for this movie is........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=387ZDGSKVSg

[Jimbo2014]

Had to have a quiet chuckle at the comments section. The fact that she slept with you on the first date means little these days. A lot of guys on this forum hark back to a simpler age. A time when girls wore long floral dresses and you were chaperoned by a close relative on the first date. I've known many great thai girls from solid backgrounds who will sleep with a guy on the first date. My present partner of 4 years and I did and she's rock solid. What u have to worry about are other things. To be honest I didn't read your entire magnum opus but the fact that u wrote it at all is of some concern. Often it's the little things. You don't notice them but your brain does. Then sometimes it's the big things like the fact that she's hiding her friends list on facebook. Anyways sometimes people settle down when you give them security and sometimes when they have kids. I'd say you are gambling there a bit but who knows maybe it will work out.

[likeke]

Your post is way too long. It's perfectly clear she is a player. The problem you are having is not her but you sir. You are treating the relationship as if you are in your own country. It's a whole new ballgame over here in the LOS. I am fairly confident she is being sponsered by at least one guy. She is definitely on the game. Quit whinning and dump her. Pick yourself up and get back to your life; not her life. And yes, I have heard your story countless times. One last word of advice: Don't take these relationships seriously because you are out of your element and in hers. You will lose. And, don't worry about her being in clubs, that's where you should be. Get out there and have fun for crying out loud.

[jaywalker]

Look Tolkien....I fell asleep after the first 1000 words. Anyone who would sleep with you on a first date is not marriage material.

[joshstiles]

...another piece of meat for the hook

Edited September 12, 2015 by joshstiles

[Now or Never]

Cheating is the national sport of Thailand.

They all cheat.

[DinoSabanovic]

I never heard of a decent Thai girl that want sex at first night. Have sex few times more, if you want and find another.

[dennis123]

My comments on some of your statements, I'm likely not far off:

• She is from Isaan, not married, no kids. She came to Bangkok for studying and work - likely she has 3 kids from two ex Thai man, her grandmother in Isaan is taking care of them

• She has a normal office job in a big company with some field service - could be, as she likely has a few farangs supporting her already so no need to work in a bar, wonder what that field service means though

• She lives in a 2-room-apartment with one of her sisters and her family - I'd have her do a DNA test to confirm it's all family lol, likely a bar friend and her new Thai boyfriend.

• She speaks pretty good english (she knows some uncommon words which i don’t know) - I bet she does

• She has a nickname, but using her normal name after we met - no comment

[micmichd]

Guess she wants a father for her kid (s), whether already present or future.

Edited September 12, 2015 by micmichd

[mrwebb8825]

if you're at all tech savy, send her a WORM embedded in a picture of you during your facebook chats that will give you remote access and control of her laptop webcam and mic. Think you can figure out the rest from here.

[kinmaew]

I didnt even need to read the whole thing, just the first bit, any girl that sleeps with you on the first night = DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON

[dennis123]

Quick story for what it's worth:

About once a month i screw someone while his 50+ year old boyfriend is taking a nap at the hotel after a day beach, each month a different one, this could actually be a weekly thing but I tamed down a bit after 3 years here.

Last week I did someone a day before his farang came, he told me had to pick up a friend from the airport, I didn't think that would be his boyfriend, but the next day I saw photos on Facebook appear, nothing wrong with that, the day his boyfriend left to go home I did him again. Once I even ruined someone's relationship cause the farang was supicious and checked his Skype where he was happily chatting with me the day before his farang arrived, other.

This stuff is oh so common, and definitely not exceptional in any way. I can't even have a relationship anymore as I simply know to much and've seen too much, way too suspicious for a very good reason.

I do like to add that there are rare exceptions but only when the farang is actually a good looking young guy that supports them pretty well. However now I just found out that the boy in question lives in Pattaya Naklua instead of in Kamphaeng Phet as he makes me believe on Facebook, his friend told me, doesn't work in a bar though but I bet he has a Thai boyfriend in Naklua so even that exception likely cheats lol.

You know which long term relationships seem to work out here in the Pattaya/Jomtien area? A random farang with an ugly Thai boyfriend, and both having their own group of friends and from what I can see they only share a bed and that's it. If that's even the case, numerous of those farang are cheating on their ugly Thai boyfriend, kind of the opposite is true here Well, likely cheating with permission.

Can't count the times that I got involved with someone for more than a week and then they told me that if I wanted to have sex with other boys it would be ok, I just wasn't allowed to fall in love with them, very efficient way for them to get rid of me.

Edited September 12, 2015 by dennis123

[williamgeorgeallen]

Look Tolkien....I fell asleep after the first 1000 words. Anyone who would sleep with you on a first date is not marriage material.

probably not marriage material, but I have 2 amazing kids with a bar girl who shagged me a few hours after we met. she is an awesome mum.

[Friendly Stranger]

I think a good percentage of men have been down this road before, maybe even more than once. Your senario is not unique and when one suspects something is wrong many of the times they're probably right.

Sounds like you're infactuated, don't be embarrassed about this, as that line stretches around the corner. Just think, if you're doubting now, what's going to happen when you're really in deep with her and more serious issues arise?

It was mentioned that you're needy, it sounds like you're both needy, but for different reasons. I hope you really think this through to determine what's really best for you.

Good luck.

Edited September 12, 2015 by Friendly Stranger

[FrankyHanky]

Ok guys just to make it clear - i'm NOT a troll. Actually, English is almost my 1st language, cause i'm working in a big international company,

and i've been to many countries so far. I had some relationships over here with some French ladies, a few worked out for a while, but the most not.

She's really working for a big company, no doubt i believe her. I've seen her working clothing, her colleagues, her boss, pictures of her working place...

She is something like a sales manager. She's working in an office, but also has some field service (and yes, when she's out for selling products of her

company she always says "i have to visit customer") But i believe her in this case guys

I've checked the history of our Skype calls, i wasn't right. We also talked on weekends...But still, something is wrong. She's definitely lying here. Maybe she has

a sponsor

I've looked at some pictures on her Facebook page again last night and found some of a 5-star Hotelroom on Sukhumvit Road back in 2013. So, she definitely has seen

Hotels from the inside in Bangkok even though she's living in Bangkok. That's another red flag to me.

Yeah, i think i won't get happy in Thailand with my jealously. Some guys here saying it's not a big deal that she slept with me first night, cause it's 2015 and i

agree with that, but i think it's still not common in Thailand. I don't have a problem with her past, at least she's telling the truth. Everybody has his past, even me.

But i don't want a girlfriend who's playing with feelings or a woman who formerly was a hooker

Edited September 12, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[carter1882]

I met this girl myself. Always been totally loyal to me...

[Happy Days xx]

God bless Thailand and all who sail on (or in) her....PS... may you not sink.

[Happy Days xx]

I met this girl myself. Always been totally loyal to me...

Oi!... don't believe this guy... she said she loved me as he has only a small 'todger'! Honest Indian.

[Tony Aparichio]

You are probably one in a very long line...warning signs would be, she shagged you on the first day.

My Thai girlfriend. cheating on me? No more than My bus has been cheating on me by taking other riders places.

[FrankyHanky]

Ok guys, i guess you're hearing these kind of stories every day, but some comments are absolutely unnecessary.

If you don't want to read my topic nor have some helpful/truly advice then stay off. Thank you!

Seriously, it's my first time that i'm involved in a so called relationship with a thaigirl...I've read all these stories about unfaithful thais too, that's why i have

these trust issues at all

Edited September 12, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[juice777]

Your storey sounds wonderful almost like a dream. So what you had sex on your first physical meeting. I had sex with my wife on our first meeting too and been married to her 15 years now. I have never trusted her but it doesn't bother me.

Just remember this, if you breakup with her she will want settlement (cash) and nothing worse than Thai women scorn.

U have been married for 15 years and u don't trust your wife sounds like a nightmare

[ttthailand]

I met a Bangkok office girl on a chat line about 2 years ago who seemed very nice. She was kind of cute and had a nice smile . I believe she was about 31 at the time. She drive a black Toyota if I remember correctly. We went out twice and needless to say since we are talking about first night getting lucky she was a little wild in the sack. I was dating a few other ladies so I didn't really care about her past or ask her too many questions. Didn't see her for about a week and was talking to a friend of mine from Pattaya and showed him a photo of her. Turns out that she had been around the block a few times and half the guys he knew spend some time with her, she was a real player.

Basically what I am saying is you never knew these girl's past. These can be sweet and work in office and be good company. Don't ever get serious at first and learn what you can about them and trust your instincts.

Edited September 12, 2015 by ttthailand

[MyFriend You]

"Are you a jealous type? don't fall in love

Yes i am, and I'm afraid i already did."

No you didn't. You're just needy. You probably never had a gal that pretty before either.

You don't fall in love with someone you hardly know. You fall into emotional need or lust. You're interested in this gal for all of the wrong reasons. The first lack is going to be that she can't take care of your emotions and only your emotions. She's going to be putting herself first and you are going to be in pain which is what you are now.

Stop asking questions about her and ask yourself the only relevant question here:

What is wrong with YOU that would tolerate this shit?

Cheers.

The first rule with Thai Women - don't fall in love, could be modified by "Trust but always verify" enlist one of the private detective compaies advertised to check her out. You have been given some good advice, choose the one you believe - again trust but verify before you leap.

[jaylaai]

If you get emotionally involved with a Thai girl never let her find out.. If she does find out, you will lose the game

[juice777]

Do want some other people have been saying create a fake profile! Ask her if she is seeing anyone if says no don't tell, carry on seeing her look for something else when u find someone better tell her about the fake profile and dropkick her out of your room. Or if u really want to know the truth i would never do this myself next time. She is in the shower download one of those keylogger things on her phone then u will kmow the whole dirty truth, what u got to remember is Thai girls don't put all there eggs in 1 basket

[dominique355]

I guess Thai ladies do have a very strong exotic appeal on European guys; their beauty and feminine side, their girlie behavior and mystery can make a man crazy. Look at me: I met my lady in April, got married in June and that was 17 years ago.

I openly encourage people to have sex early in their relationship because if you are not compatible there, forget the whole thing. Whether or not this has to be on the first date, I leave it to the people involved. But ... if you go for it, then don't blame the other later. After all, you could have said "No!", but you didn't.

A lady of 33 does have a life and friends and bf and what not, of course. Or do you seriously expect her to wait for you all her life? And why would she tell you all the details of her life at such an early stage? You haven't been completely honest with her yourself. Or did you tell her about your post here? Did you give her a chance to straighten her story? I guess not.

And then, isn't it the spice of life to never know 100% what happened and what will happen? My lady, after all these years still surprises me with things and stories and ... but that would not be suited for work.

So my advice would be if you are keen on marrying a Thai woman, take it easy and slowly, don't take the first you ever meet. Obviously you don't trust this one, so forget about her, although I believe she does not deserve your suspicions. The problem is with you; your insecurity probably spoiled the whole relationship.

[seancbk]

She sounds like a normal 33 year old girl.

You didn't expect her to have never been out, not have had previous boyfriends, never to have had sex before did you?

As for not performing like a hooker in bed, lets just say I've had sex with regular western girls who shag 100 times better than any hooker, and my current non hooker Thai girlfriend also screws better than any Thai bar girl I've been with. So that is no indication at all.

If she is hot then congratulation she sounds like a keeper.

[Jay1]

Mate, you sound very similar to me.. A very jealous person.. I've had 2 serious relationships with Thai girls and like you I was questioning everything in my head and thinking so much about it it was driving me crazy!!

Turns out that the first girlfriend was doing all the things I believed her to be doing. Myself and my 2nd girlfriend broke up for different reasons...although many questions were in my head during that relationship...

What I'm trying to say mate is that although you may be a jealous person, it doesn't mean that you are wrong! Trust your instincts and find a girl who you trust..otherwise you'll go insane . Jealous guys with Thai girlfriends will never be healthy relationships. I'm single now and my future girlfriend will be a girl from my home country when I move back there.

I think dating a girl from my home country will be pure tranquility after having 2 Thai girlfriends, although unlikely to be as bloody sexy!!! Good luck [emoji106]

Edited September 12, 2015 by Jay1

[kerrysum]

Yeah unfortunately there's not much what i can do now. She's living on the other side of the planet.

I have two options: I can move on or i can stop. It's really up to me. Maybe i'm in love, but i always have the choice to stop.

I think i move on, it's pretty obvious that she is cheating (or whatever she's doing), but i don't know 100%. I want to be sure.

Our plan was to meet again beginning next year, cause then i have time to stay for 2 months. Not sure if i know what's going on after these

2 months, but for sure i will know more than now. Nobody can hide something like husbands, lovers or a second life for 2 months, i'm sure

it's not possible. But my question was also, if i should take a plane without her knowing next month.

@NeverSure, thank you very much for that comment. Yeah i'm just needy i guess, i will not call it love again, because i met her in person for just one week.

I don't know this person. We just talk online, and i really don't know what's going on in her head. And yes you're right, i never met such a beautiful woman before,

Don't let the little head do all the thinking......

[Patsycat]

Ok guys, i guess you're hearing these kind of stories every day, but some comments are absolutely unnecessary.

If you don't want to read my topic nor have some helpful/truly advice then stay off. Thank you!

Seriously, it's my first time that i'm involved in a so called relationship with a thaigirl...I've read all these stories about unfaithful thais too, that's why i have

these trust issues at all

Methinks you would have jealousy and trust issues with any woman. Whether she was Thai or French or from Outer Mongolia.

Everyone has a belly button. Lot's of people have them pierced, does not make her a prossie.