New American in Town Wondering How to Make new Friends

[anon456]

OK, so I have been here for less than a month and am planning to be here 6 month to a year. 55 year old semi-retired guy who doesn't necessarily look or act his age. Blond, clean-cut, smart and fun. Renting a nice condo off Chang Klan. Planning to attend the expat group functions coming up, as well as supporting some of the performing arts venues. So where to hang out just to have a drink and meet some other gay guys? Are there bars that fanang tend to frequent? What's the best time here...happy hours? Late at night? Just trying to meet people and get a better handle on life here in this amazing place. Thanks for any advice, suggestions or mindless fodder....

[onthemoon]

"The" place for gay farang in our age group to hang out in and have a beer is Telephone Pub on Silom Road, Soi 4, in my personal opinion. Or, Balcony just across, as others may say.

It's good from after work to about midnight in my experience, but then: I don't go out before I stop working, and at midnight I go to sleep. ;-) Not retired yet, not even semi.

[anon456]

I should have added a very important point in my initial posting. I am living in Chiang Mai but visit BKK regularly as things are rather quiet up here it seems....unless someone knows differently, of course.....

[dennis123]

There's this gay guesthouse opposite a gay gogo bar in Chiang Mai, seems quite a few foreigners hang out there. I don't remember the name but I'm sure you'll find it as there are not so many gay guesthouses nor gogo bars.

I live in Pattaya but been on holiday in Chiang Mai, I wanted to go for a week but after one day I already had enough from it and drove back.

Most gay bars were closed and most gogo bars only had masculine boys from Myanmar it seemed. There's also this one gay karaoke in Chiang Mai but most of the boys didn't seem very interested, well at least not the one or two I liked, I came alone as a foreigner and the people inside were quite welcoming though, had a good time but Chiang Mai is just not suitable as a sexpat destination, at least not for me.

Many Chiang Mai boys work in Pattaya

Edited September 26, 2015 by dennis123

[anon456]

That's interesting. I'm not at all sure that Chiang Mai will be my chosen home in the long term for some of the reasons you mentioned. I really want to get established into the expat community wherever I settle and the sex thing is part of it. This place is just a wee bit tame, tired and quiet for me, although everyone has been lovely for the most part. My two real frustrations are the transportation challenges and the communication. I do not want to drive in this city so am left trying to explain where I need to go to drivers who often have no clue what I'm talking about, even when I'm holding a print-out of "Taxi Directions" in Thai from a website. I traveled all over the world, but have never been anywhere where there is such a complete absence of rudimentary English skills from everyone, including those in service industries that survive because of expat dollars. I am seriously considering moving to Medellin, Colombia in March but I'm keeping an open mind and trying to enjoy the journey. I went out and had a wild night last night at a bar called Circle Pub. Ended up with two boys at a no-tell motel and then walking for miles trying to find a tuk-tuk at 2 a.m. I do need to check out the beach cities before I make a firm decision, though, as maybe Phuket, Pattaya or other place might be a better fit. I believe I was one of maybe 3 gay men at the big expat general meeting yesterday and everyone looked ancient to me....reminding me of my years living in the Palm Springs area! Anyway, thanks for elevating my vocabulary as I had never heard the term, "Sexpat". Classic.

[anon456]

Sir, this conversation wasn't with you so why do you feel that you should even comment? I would almost guarantee that I have traveled successfully in more parts of the world than you have just from your rather simple-minded response. What's with this site that there are so many snarky small-minded people who wants to cast aspersions at people they don't even know? Being the first generation child of an immigrant I am well aware of the sensitivities of foreign travel. Unless I ask for your input or comments, keep them to yourself, please.

[Scott]

Sorry for the inflammatory post. The poster will temporarily not be posting.

[dennis123]

Quick summary of gay destinations, maybe you know it already:

- Bangkok, dirty smoggy immens hot city with terrible traffic, feels like hell to me, many expats and gay night life though but I don't understand how someone who doesn't work there could stay there.

- Pattaya, nice sea side city of course, pretty cheap, tons of boys, gay expats tend to be retired and 60+ years old, especially in low season, great nightlife, good dining, it has everything really for everyone. Downside: life can feel a bit fake here at times especially if you mostly hang out with the boys as I'm much younger than the average long stay gay foreigners here so I don't have many foreign friends.

- Phuket, nice island, expensive compared to Pattaya, decent amount of boys and younger expats, personally not so impressed with the nightlife / going out, got rejected a few times by boys in lounge bars as well, it's not the same as the beer bars in Pattaya, most boys working in lounge bars are waiters and not ready for take off, unless you put some work into it. What negatively surprised me is the criminality at Phuket, though I could've been unlucky. They have a handful or so of gogo bars and plenty of massage places. Not my number one choice.

- Koh Samui at last, well it's really a family holiday destination that's frequented by gay couples as well, there are two ladyboy shows where you could likely take off someone and there is one small gay bar at the time I was there, not really an expat destination and I think you get bored pretty quick.

You can also consider the Phillipines, though what I read online is that bars charge $100-$200 barfine and $10-$20 for a boydrink, I don't know if that's true though but it sounds crazy to me in a country where most earn $400-$500/month.

[onthemoon]

That's a nice summary, Dennis.

I don't agree with one point, as I am happy living in Bangkok and consider Pattaya a weekend destination and don't understand how one could live there permanently. But this has been going on for decades between Bangkok expats and Pats expats, so nothing new.

[dennis123]

That's a nice summary, Dennis.

I don't agree with one point, as I am happy living in Bangkok and consider Pattaya a weekend destination and don't understand how one could live there permanently. But this has been going on for decades between Bangkok expats and Pats expats, so nothing new.

Thanks, I suppose it could have to do with where you live in Bangkok, anyhow each has it's own preferences of course.