bbbbooboo Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend? +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aslimversgwm Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Thai's are generally very shallow, with little real education. Almost impossible to have as friends, and why would you bother? I have 3 or 4 male friends (British and Australian), no female friends. Do people ever have time for more than a handful of friends? Racist slur! I have met and enjoyed the company of far better educated Thai males than the ignoramuses that seem to post on here for sure. If your life doesn't much extend beyond local bars or the expat community than you are unlikely to meet decent, educated, genuinely friendly male Thais, or females come to that! "Get a life" as the saying goes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mijako Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I'm a woman and YES I have Thai male friends. Real friends who don't want your money but help you when you have a difficult time. I know a few of them since about 30 years. Some are very well educated, some went to school only a few years but they have a good heart. I also speak fluently thai (much better than english) and this helps for sure. I have also a few female friends but they speak to much, always must be careful what I can tell them or not. This doesn't happen with the men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffkp Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I've been in CM for almost a year and noticed a couple of things: If you want to make friends invite a Thai invite them to lunch or dinner. Doesn't have to be in an expensive restaurant. Add some beer and they become very open and friendly. A great way to meet people. I live in a new upscale condo. All the foreigners (Western, Japanese, Etc.) are friendly and make a point of saying hello when you see them. All the Thais are cold, rude and will stare through you when you say hello. In short, they're snobs and I wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway! I have made friends with a number of Thai men (non-sexual!). If all you do is hang out with other expats, then the only friends you have will be...other expats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmyp Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Yes, I have a good Thai friend, and we have been friends for over 15 years. Over the years I have become friends with a couple of his friends as well. We all play music together, so that is our common interest. I have a couple of other hobbies through which I have made friends with Thai men through (not close friends, but better than acquaintance-level). I have discussed this "can't make guy friends" topic with farang men many times in Thailand. For years I heard this "can't make guy friends" claim in Japan as well, it is as commonly said there as it is here. In Japan, my experience is totally opposite of what they say: I only have male friends, and don't make friends with Japanese women. I am not gay, nor are the men I have made friends with. Back to Thailand: Obviously the ability to speak Thai impacts the type of people you interact with. Why would someone choose to interact with someone or become friends with someone when there is such a communication barrier? Money and the potential for sex are great reasons for overlooking that communciation barrier, but removing that, you're going to narrow down the number of people who care to put in the effort to communicate. The obviously analogy is: How many people are you friends with in your home country who don't speak the language of your home country? (and if there are any, I'm sure the number drops when you remove the potential for sex) Local men most definitely have a prejudice that foreigners look down on them, and are here to use the women. Some guys will not apply that stereotype to you if they have a chance to see that you are not that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernphil Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I have one good male friend who is Thai. We always have a laugh as I don't know what he is trying to say and he understands little English but there is always something to talk about. Him being a not very pretty LB helps I suppose as before coming here I had never seen one. Where he works in the local eating place he is just a member of staff but when I turn up someone will shout " Gipsee , ferlung " My Thai wife thinks I should only talk to ferlung in town but as I might well be the only one that lives in town ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmyp Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 If anyone knows a bar where you can make Thai male friends in Bangkok I would be very interested. I think culturally there may be no Thai bar where you can socialize individually at, and even better with an international vibe. There is no concept here of going to a bar to meet new people. You go to a bar with your friends, never alone. That's not a criticism at all, it's only to say that if you are going to a bar to make new friends, you probably won't be meeting any Thai people (obviously I'm not talking about the red light areas). You have to socialize through a common interest here: futsal, music, volunteer work, etc. Bars will just make you foreign friends, and the Thais there will wonder what is wrong with you that you came by yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehelmsman Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I believe many confuse friends with knowing someone to have conversation and drinks with. A friend is someone you've gone thru good times and bad times with. It takes time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmyp Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Perhaps fluency of language is the greatest barrier limiting the potential of some interactions, friendships require trust, trust comes from understanding and understanding comes from communication. Spot on. For anyone who doubts this: How many people are you friends with in your home country who don't speak the language of your home country? (and if there are any, I'm sure the number drops when you remove the potential for sex) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dao16 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I agree that you pretty much need some kind of shared interest to really make friends here. I have made friends through football and muay thai. It's easy to sit down, have a few drinks and watch a match and then use that as a foundation to later talk about other things. Most guys I meet here, though, don't really have much of a conception of the outside world (even outside the province) so we don't have much to talk about. The 3 male friends I have are able to maintain conversations about current events and whatnot (in Thai) so we get along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgjackson69 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 If I wanted to hang out with a bunch of dudes I would stay in Saudi Arabia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotSeoul Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) Wow, some of these replies are pretty harsh applied with a pretty broad brush. There are a few male Thais that I would definitely call friends, one of them a very close friend. One has an engineering degree from Purdue University (really good engineering school), another went to Ohio State, another went to University of San Diego. They are well educated and have good jobs in foreign companies or own their own business here in Bangkok. They all speak english very well, one of them you would not know was Thai if you spoke to him on the phone. He speaks English with no Thai accent. I try to speak thai to them as much as I can, but their English is way better than my thai so we mostly speak English. I don't consider my friends shallow in their friendships at all. They have shown nothing but generosity and friendliness towards me over the past 7 years. They share their good whiskey, bring gifts from when they come back from a trip overseas, all the niceties that you would have with any normal friendship. In turn I do the same with them. We talk about friends, the family, the children, the ladies, and other guy stuff too. There is a mix of us from US, NZ, Holland, that mix with these Thai males and we all have a good time, have dinner, drink, hanging out, etc. None of my thai friends have ever asked for money. None of them talk about money at all. Quite frankly I believe they all have much more money that I do based on what I have observed from their homes, vehicles, weekend places, holidays they take, and where they send their children to school. There was even one time when I needed hospitalization at the last minute and a thai friend of mine stayed with me at the hospital during the operation and even negotiated the price down from the farang price to the Thai price for me. I was 100% covered by my company's medical insuance so financially it didn't make a difference to me, but he didn't know that. I would say watching over me at the hospital is something a real friend would do. One of my Thai friends brought his family to the US and stayed with me at my places in San Diego and Las Vegas a few years ago. In turn they have had me to their weekend places in Rayong and Kao Yai, and we have gone on holidays to Cambodia, Laos, as well as Petchboon and Luay up north and Phuket down south over the years. I can understand if some have met folks that don't seem sincere or seem xenophobic. This could happen in any country. The problem with some folks that I have seen in BKK/Thailand is that they hang around types of areas/people that they would not have otherwise hung around in their own country. As an example, some who would not even think of making friends with folks that they meet in Strip clubs and bars in their home country make 'friends' with others they meet in those types of places in Thailand, then whinge about the quality of the folks they have met. This applies to meeting both foreigners and Thai. It boggles my mind. I think it's absolutely fair for those that have had negative experiences to share those with others on this forum. Data points on both sides of any issue is always valuable. However to project negative experiences from some Thais on to all Thais is not fair to those Thais that are genuine and nice. My guess is that everyone on this forum knows of folks in their home countries they would also consider in less-than-nice terms. There are nice, friendly, and genuine Thais out there. You will meet some who are, and you will meet some who are not genuine. It's then a choice to drop the bad ones and keep the good ones in your friendship circle. Edited September 28, 2015 by GotSeoul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobTH Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I have lived in Lumpini, here in Bangkok for 4 years. I live in a building that is mostly Thai people, only a few foreigners. I do not have any foreign friends here, they are all Thai, and mostly male. I think I could honestly say I am the best known non-Thai in my area of the city. My best friend is a traffic policeman, and when he and his wife go on a trip I am usually invited to go along. Through him I have met many friends that would do most anything to help me out if needed. Interacting with them has taught me a lot, my Thai speaking has greatly improved and made my living here much more enjoyable. I have a Thai girlfriend that I met over 15 years ago that lives in a condo in the same area as I do, she was born here and I think I know more people in the neighborhood than she does. I personally think Thai friends are some of the best friends I have ever had, I wouldn't trade them for anything. My Grandfather taught me at an early age, not to judge people based on race, religion or social status, I have always carried his words of wisdom with me where ever I have gone and they have done me well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdlancaster Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I teach at 5 rural schools and have both males and female friends but each group is different. My male friends consist of older teachers, pooyai baan, and 2 of the principals. Have alot of aquantinces that are male. Generally hangouts tend to be drinking fishing bbq and occasional karaoke. Alot of joking about mia nois.. and work life stuff. no english spoken. My female friends tend to be younger english teachers or university students. Most can speak English. Activities tend to be dinner drinks or an occasional disco. Language mix is about 50/50 but changes depending on who is there. My gfs tend to not speak English as I am wary of dating anyone from work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorn Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I define a friend, as someone you get together with to share a meal, someone you have over for drinks, and just someone you hang out with often, or from time to time. I have a number of Thai male acquaintances. But, none I really hang out with. I regret that. I wish I did have some good male Thai friends. They do not seem that interested in engaging. It may be a lack of curiosity, it may be a lack of interest in foreigners, it may have something to do with foreigners getting a lot of the younger, prettier women, not sure. But, I know in most other countries I would have a lot of local friends. I wish that was the case here. I imagine most Thais have enough friends. Why choose someone who speaks a different language unless you particularly want to practise that language? I imagine most don't find speaking English relaxing and the kind of thing they would want to do while drinking, eating, hanging out.They could also see foreigners as likely to not be in Thailand long so why invest the time and energy on it. Oh and most of the young, pretty Thai women are not with foreigners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend? Trophies......................... Seems to elevate them within their own circles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 There is quite a range of replies in this thread. In providing a general summary we could postulate two definitive groups: Group A: Posters who seem well balanced without daft or bigoted replies - In general this type of poster has some male Thai friends. Group B: Posters who seem a little irrational, bigoted with some quite frankly daft and insulting opinions - In general this type of poster doesn't have Thai male friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend? Trophies......................... Seems to elevate them within their own circles. Or those Thai's in genuine friendships with a Westerner are simply normal, decent, open minded people..... much like the normal, decent and open minded Westerners who have managed to develop healthy and honest friendships with Thai's. Of course, if someone has nasty, bigoted, negatively biased, negatively judgemental and closed minded opinions of those Thai's they meet, they are very unlikely to be the type of person anyone will become genuine friends with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balo Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) I think this is mostly due to a language barrier and to understand Thai culture. Not easy to do if you live in Pattaya or Phuket, unless you want lots of drinking "buddies". Edited September 28, 2015 by balo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morakot Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) Thai's are generally very shallow, with little real education. Almost impossible to have as friends, and why would you bother? Generalised xenophobic nonsense. Most of my male Thai friends have doctoral degrees and for some reason always want to talk about French existentialist philosophy and the meaning of life... Edited September 28, 2015 by Morakot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzarella Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Real friends? Any. My fault. If I was speaking Thai probably I will have a lot.....I find Thai people very friendly and interested in know more about myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coulson Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Two male Thai friends, would stick their neck out for me, great guys. On the other hand there are about ten times that amount of Thai males I couldn't care less due to their childish social ineptitude and repeated 'farang' mockery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumblecat Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Mmmm , your missing plenty of places in Thonglor then. Oh well guess youll figure it out Can you please tell me some places then? I will buy you drinks if you're in Bangkok. Thanks! Yeah, still waiting for the suggestions, Big Mango. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Mmmm , your missing plenty of places in Thonglor then. Oh well guess youll figure it out Can you please tell me some places then? I will buy you drinks if you're in Bangkok. Thanks! Yeah, still waiting for the suggestions, Big Mango. Silom soi 4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLang Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Millions. Thais are the best friends that money can buy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 There is quite a range of replies in this thread. In providing a general summary we could postulate two definitive groups: Group A: Posters who seem well balanced without daft or bigoted replies - In general this type of poster has some male Thai friends. Group B: Posters who seem a little irrational, bigoted with some quite frankly daft and insulting opinions - In general this type of poster doesn't have Thai male friends. Group C: Thai apologists who think anyone who doesn't agree that everything in Thailand is wonderful are racists and bigots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NativeSon360 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend? Why would the average "any guy" want a "foreigner" friend? I have a final circle (in my old age) of 7-friends, and we all come from very different cultural bases. The pleasure is that we all broadened our personal horizons, as a result of the associations. How is that possible, you may ask? Simple answer, we are not aliens or foreigners. Just a group of human beings, who debate (sometimes heatedly so), agree-to-disagree on various topics, but respect each other's opinions and perspectives, while still enjoying the group dynamic, again, as human beings. How many poor people can boast of having a home to visit, in six different foreign countries? Fortunately, I can. That's my point of having a "farang" friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NativeSon360 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Millions. Thais are the best friends that money can buy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggo Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend? To pay for the beer...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLang Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend? Trophies......................... Seems to elevate them within their own circles. Of course. Self-Advantage. The primary reason behind a Thai's actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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