Bar Girl Psychology

[MaeJoMTB]

at this point i have observed signs of rapid mood swings, emotional volatility.

Classic signs of a meth user (yabaa yaIce)......... fairly common in the bars.

[micmichd]

at this point i have observed signs of rapid mood swings, emotional volatility.

Classic signs of a meth user (yabaa yaIce)......... fairly common in the bars.

You work right now to get some reward in the future. You hate it to wait, but you are not allowed to show it because it is your job to be friendly right now. Of course you show rapid mood swings in a situation like this.

To me it looks like a normal reaction to a stressful situation. Were you never angry at your boss?

[micmichd]

'Self loathe' is a western concept, christen concept, the east didn't get toxic effect of Queen Victoria. No self loathing if you are a human, you could have been reincarnated as a soi dog but you weren't so things are going alright.

thai psychiatrists most certainly have "self loathing" in their studies, and clinical practice with thai people.

so you know i am not simply pulling this stuff out of a hat let me share how and why i know about thai psychiatrist clinical practice.

i read a very interesting research paper done by a thai psychiatrist on bpd borderline personality disorder. i emailed him and we were in touch via email for a while so i know self loathing is absolutely in the framework of their clinical practice. to boot they even use the same criteria and billing diagnostic codes as usa doctors do.

This is off-topic but oh boy, Borderline Personality Disorder !

I have a very good friend who stayed with a BKK girl who was diagnosed with BPD. He lived a hard life for 7 years trying to understand (and control her). Bought all the books, but how wrong he was. It finally ended up in tears, on both sides. He was patient with her and when behaving herself she was lovely, but off her meds she was dangerous and that is why he left her. He became scared of her. She fitted in to most of the behavioral parameters for BPD, except she did not cause herself any self-harm, which was a blessing. Everything was black or white, no gray. Thus she couldn't compromise. No good for a relationship. There were a number of obsessions but I wont go into them. Our wives would not go near her (which in the beginning we, falang, could not understand. But when speaking in Thai, the girls knew something was wrong). So he began to lose friends.

You could say she was definitely self-loathing, constantly looking in mirrors, and preening herself. Plus in her darkest moments my friend say she was as frigid as an ice-berg, and away in some distant place. I have read that BPD in the Thai population is more skewed towards women, and that it can stem from a childhood emotional trauma/s. You see a lot of that in Thailand.

If you've seen the movie "Play Misty for Me", people can see how scary it can be.

The behavioural patterns of BPD (according to ICD-10 and DSM-v) are so unclear that they could actually apply to everyone who is still alive. Maybe it's just the reactions of a person in a situation with a completely uncertain future. If this is so, we should see this behaviour getting endemic in the future - most of all in the West, where significant parts of the population need psycho drugs to function.

[atyclb]

anyone that has dealt with a BPD friend or gf knows how very difficult it is. sure all of us may display signs and symptoms at various times but we dont run the full gambit to the extremes that BPD people do.

as far as i recall icd contain just the billing codes and the Dx criteria is in DSM whatever the current version is.

[atyclb]

at this point i have observed signs of rapid mood swings, emotional volatility.

Classic signs of a meth user (yabaa yaIce)......... fairly common in the bars.

for the moment, chronic sleep deprivation, stress and alcohol is quite sufficient to produce those signs. i have not seen the jerking body and or facial expression muscle movements (twitching). there is weight gain which strongly goes against amphetamines. also pupils appear normal as opposed to dilated. skin is also intact. i have exposure to meth users and recognize it fairly easily.

good thought none the less

[atyclb]

That's the pride of the working class.

Maybe she would accept a birthday present?

how many bar girls would not accept money??? its not a staggeringly high % lol

[atyclb]

If I was a bar girl, I would deal with very rich ol' farts exclusively.

Little work involved.

Play a little chess?

Iron their clothes.

"Sweet talk" far too much.

"Up to you, big boy - give it to me & give it very hard - I luv it, your way."

that is sound advice.

assuming you were a bar girl, how would you know which old farts are rich?

[atyclb]

Why would one care? Does the person exhibit this same type of concern for the people at McDonald's that serve their hamburgers? You are a customer. Why waste brain cells worrying about a bar girl? I'm sure they are not wasting theirs worrying about you (worrying about your money maybe). You go and ride the ride and go home until the next time. You don't go to an amusement park and try to bring the rides back home with you. If you want someone to be concerned about then find a woman who is not a hooker.

if u read the entire discussion you would not be asking this question or phrasing other statements.

[Fabricus]

Okay....she likes you...you like her. You offered to help in clearing her debt. She refused. She has an enabler around her using the girl as an ATM. Let her deal with clearing the debt 1st. If that has been done and she cant go back to her old, nice, way, as you stated, let it go. If however she finished with her chores and gets a grip on "normal" life again, all your observations could be correct. Nice girl. Your multiple analysis's on this type of woman ....ah well you get it. You can only help someone who wants to be helped. Good luck as you seem to be a nice guy.

That's a very considerate post.

[fang37]

If I was a bar girl, I would deal with very rich ol' farts exclusively.

Little work involved.

Play a little chess?

Iron their clothes.

"Sweet talk" far too much.

"Up to you, big boy - give it to me & give it very hard - I luv it, your way."

that is sound advice.

assuming you were a bar girl, how would you know which old farts are rich?

Very easy, my dear Watson.

Those with the sweetest body odour have more than one shower per week.

Those who shower must be very rich?

[atyclb]

Followup

i was told if i find old guys with money for her she will give me 50% commission .

[micmichd]

Followup

i was told if i find old guys with money for her she will give me 50% commission .

Austrian sociologist Roland Girtler ('Der Strich') found that a pimp is the prostitute of a prostitute.

You might have to pre-select the customers (not only by their body odour). And, of course, it might be illegal and run quite contrary to Empower & Co.

[atyclb]

Followup

i was told if i find old guys with money for her she will give me 50% commission .

Austrian sociologist Roland Girtler ('Der Strich') found that a pimp is the prostitute of a prostitute.

You might have to pre-select the customers (not only by their body odour). And, of course, it might be illegal and run quite contrary to Empower & Co.

i have zero interest in finding customers. really getting sadder to see her new style progressing. not too long ago was humble and sweet and unassuming, unpretentious. now walks on the street between bars acting as if on a catwalk, as the queen beer bar girl. definitely alcohol and sleep deprivation minimum.

[micmichd]

Followup

i was told if i find old guys with money for her she will give me 50% commission .

Austrian sociologist Roland Girtler ('Der Strich') found that a pimp is the prostitute of a prostitute.

You might have to pre-select the customers (not only by their body odour). And, of course, it might be illegal and run quite contrary to Empower & Co.

i have zero interest in finding customers. really getting sadder to see her new style progressing. not too long ago was humble and sweet and unassuming, unpretentious. now walks on the street between bars acting as if on a catwalk, as the queen beer bar girl. definitely alcohol and sleep deprivation minimum.

Guess she's getting older and starts to panic now. Even more so because available Farangs get less and poorer. While at the same time they close the borders in the West for immigrants.

In a situation like this, solidarity among bar girls might suffer, with the consequences you observe.

You should make a clear and reliable decision if you really love this bar girl and have enough resources to help her out of the dilemma. Your bar girl should also make a decision whether she wants to change her profession or not. If she has a child, then this child might be the key person.

Sorry I can't say more without knowing the details. Feel free to PM me if you're in Pattaya.

[atyclb]

Followup

i was told if i find old guys with money for her she will give me 50% commission .

Austrian sociologist Roland Girtler ('Der Strich') found that a pimp is the prostitute of a prostitute.

You might have to pre-select the customers (not only by their body odour). And, of course, it might be illegal and run quite contrary to Empower & Co.

i have zero interest in finding customers. really getting sadder to see her new style progressing. not too long ago was humble and sweet and unassuming, unpretentious. now walks on the street between bars acting as if on a catwalk, as the queen beer bar girl. definitely alcohol and sleep deprivation minimum.

Guess she's getting older and starts to panic now. Even more so because available Farangs get less and poorer. While at the same time they close the borders in the West for immigrants.

In a situation like this, solidarity among bar girls might suffer, with the consequences you observe.

You should make a clear and reliable decision if you really love this bar girl and have enough resources to help her out of the dilemma. Your bar girl should also make a decision whether she wants to change her profession or not. If she has a child, then this child might be the key person.

Sorry I can't say more without knowing the details. Feel free to PM me if you're in Pattaya.

i ended up putting about 2 mnths salary in her mobile between cover and phone then bolted out. she sent an sms to say thanks. subsequently i went again and tried to pay the bar fine when she had no customers and send her home to sleep, she refused. also a couple of failed promises. the money was to give her room to breathe and lower stress a little. her mentation is not with it at this oint. no kids as i am told unable to have kids.

my gut feeling at this point is it would be a bad bet to consider financing her in her present state of being.

[AdamRich]

You should definitely keep it up. I am sure that after you have spent a few million more baht and earned many more gray hairs then she will finally wise up and get her act together. It's for the best.

[atyclb]

You should definitely keep it up. I am sure that after you have spent a few million more baht and earned many more gray hairs then she will finally wise up and get her act together. It's for the best.

LOL

i suggested using a % of the money to pay her fine early on n shift when there are no customers and invite me to dinner then return to work.

no reply yet to that one.

guess in mid 30's not easy competing with young ones or competing with notorious ones that are multitalented multitasking if you know what i mean.

most recently i observed her looking at ladyboys and all the customers they'd enter a hotel with and she was commenting on how pretty they were.

i just doing my own thing, at this point she is zombie'fied. the intent was good. lets see if she can dig herself out or self destruct.

honestly if her claim a guy offered 2 million to get married is true i dont know why she does not accept??? basically you pay for them to pretend to like you so 2 million could is just an extension of pretending

Edited October 9, 2015 by atyclb