Thief In The House

[mosquitoman]

This afternoon my girlfriends niece caught my next door neighbours daughter in law in our upstairs room, she had climbed in over the rear balcony.

When challenged she said she had permission (from my girlfriend) to come in and was looking for coathangers, and then made a quick exit back over the rear balcony.

My girlfriend had told me before this incident that she had a feeling that some one has been coming in our house and that she thought about 4500 baht had disapeared over the past month or so.

We get on very well with the mother in law and I would hate to create any ill feeling,

However a thief is a thief, and I feel very upset,

What do we do?

Report this to the police, and therefore advertise to the world that our neighbours daughter in law is a thief.

Erect a spiked railing on top of the wall that seperates our balconies as a statement

Ignore it and hope it does not happen again

Any suggestions

[Lacoste]

You could just try locking the doors

[markg]

Eeeekk

Well, if you get on with the neighbours. I wouldnt bother with the cops.

I would make sure your house is secure AND erect some kind of anti burglary device. - If anyone asks, just claim its low season and there has been a spate of burglaries or something.........

How did she gain access to your house anyway? Have a look at your own security. Look at it from a burglars point of view.

What if it had been an armed man high on ya baa?

I used to live in a city. Maybe i m just a city boy at heart. But in my house, i lock the front door if i m even going for a piss in the downstairs toilet.

Sorry - i worked for the cops for a long time. Most burglaries are oppurtunist.

Secure your house, but say nowt to the thiefs mum.

When you next see the thief, give her the Gypsys eye...........or do the thing de Niro did in Meet the Fockers..................i'm keeping my eye on you girl.

[Donz]

Tell her mother, no cops needs to be involved as you said you get along with them well

[Jeff1]

In this case, do not tell anybody except her ( the theif ).

Tell her if she comes into the house again ............ fill in the threat.

[markg]

You know your neighbours best.

But i disagree slightly with the above, although i m British and renown for not making a fuss.

I wouldnt tell the mother - let her save face.

Dont tell the cops.

Dont tell the girl directly either - it could escalate the situation and at the end of the day - you are a foreigner.

Build the fence. Lock ya doors. Give the girl warning looks so she knows you know.....

Good luck

[Maizefarmer]

Get your other half to speak to her mom - loss of face bigtime and it will put an end to the problem.

So long as she feels the "loss of face" mechanism (for lack of a better word) works in her favour and is going to mean no confrontation, the longer she will exploit it as a get out clause - and if she is doing it to you, you bet you're not the only ones.

Quiet word with mom at the right moment in the right way is in my opinion the best way forward.

......thats my take on it.

Tim

[Patex]

... in our upstairs room...

Why not describe very plastically to the neighbours daughter (how old??) what you usually do with the ladies you will find in this upstairs- room?

[Nam Kao]

I would start with Donz avatar

[geoffphuket]

I would think it highly unlikely she’ll try it again having been caught once already.

Although maybe having a sign made (in Thai) saying something like “trespassers will be reported to their family”, will make her think twice… also making it clear to her that you know who is responsible.

geoffphuket

[baboon]

Buy or adopt an aggressive looking dog and start giving the theif the evil eye. I adopted a little soi dog and security wise she is worth her weight in gold. Nobody she is not sure about gets near my gate without her barking the place down and baring her teeth.

If that is not enough to put a theif off, my St. Bernard will do the rest! Good luck anyway.

[womble]

Right so obviously your girlfriend didn't give her permission, there is only one thing to do.

You have to go round to the house together with your girlfriend and sit down and talk to the owners of the house next door. You have to tell them that you caught her in your bedroom, she lied and said she was allowed to be there, and say you want to know what she was doing there. You also have to tell them about the missing money and say it looks very much like it wasn't the first time.

Tell them you expect the money to be returned and tell them they are very lucky you didn't go to the police. Tell them the only reason you didn't go to the police was because you like them and wouldn't want to see them get in trouble. Tell them you won't tell anyone and it'll be kept quiet.

Tell them they are forgiven but you expect the stolen money to be returned.

If they get angry or have any reaction other than to accept your proposal you should just leave them for a few days to calm down, after that go back and see them and ask if they have had a chance to talk to the girl.

You musn't let them get away with this, you cannot walk into peoples houses.

An official family sitdown is required to solve this, you have to go over there and tell them you need to talk to them about something very important, say you want to sit down inside and tell them something serious.

With them sitting down and in a more formal setting you have more chance of getting a sensible reaction, and less chance of a jerk and them running off or trying to get away. Sitting down they have to deal with the subject, get them into a proper discussion and you have much more chance of sorting this out.

So just go on over there, kock on the door and say you want to come and chat to them about something quite important.

Let us know how you get on.

Edited September 29, 2006 by womble

[Maizefarmer]

Womble is right

[Tim207]

Womble is right

I am with Womble too. I don't think she will do it again any time soon but over time it may become tempting again if there were no consequences. Maybe when you are gone for an extended period she might have the courage to try again knowing that you won't be back to catch her. Just keep it discreet and non-confrontational. After all, you like the family and they didn't do anything wrong. There is no need to embarass them more than is necessary but they should know. This girl could cause them a lot more trouble in the future and they need a chance to correct her behavior before it drags them into a bigger mess.

[edd]

This happened to my mother in law.

The local scrote came into her house and took some money and an ATM card.

The way it was resolved was.

Go to the family and tell them about the girl, BIG LOSS OF FACE.

Demand recompense and EXTRA money.

Inform them that their son in law (me) wanted to get the police in and have the scrote put in prison (I was not even involved) and then they said that they had persuaded me to let them deal with the problem without the police.

The first I knew about the problem was when the family turned up and thanked me for not calling the police.

Problem solved.

Real canny my 75 year old mother in law

Sometimes it’s good to have a falang in the family

[rishi]

I'd say: erect that spiked railing --- better not appear as an easy victim rather than having to handle the situation after the damage is done ...

[DragonLad]

I know what he should do and I even did this, I don't know how expensive a small CCTV camera is but set one up and don't set any kind barrier to the area that you suspect the thief was in.

Let them do it again and then get them on video, go to her mom or dad and show it them! No need to get the police in on it and it will only be between you and your neighbors. Just a thought.

CHOK DEE

[dr_Pat_Pong]

... in our upstairs room...

Why not describe very plastically to the neighbours daughter (how old??) what you usually do with the ladies you will find in this upstairs- room?

Practical idea with happy endings

[Douggie Style]

IMHO Womble and the others, suggesting a considered calm intervention are right, the loss of face thing is often a bit exaggerated, you have to consider the people involved on a case by case basis, personally I find the most respected Thai to sort things out for me. Anyways you obviously are not the hot headed type so it should go well....

good luck

[Totster]

IMHO the best advice so far is to sit down with her family, explain fully what has happened. Keep it polite and courteous.. there is no need for hostility towards her parents.

I wouldn't ask for extra money on top of what has gone missing, just ask that what has been taken is returned. I'm not sure I would even demand that... I might just make hints as to what has gone missing.. it would depend on the situation.

totster

[mosquitoman]

Thanks for all the answers and advice,

Since I posting my girlfriend has confronted the lady in question alone, the girl has admitted to coming in our home via the balcony on several occassions and stealing money, including 2300 baht from the handbag of one of our staff.

The girl has agreed to pay all money back, with the threat of her mother in law and family being informed of whats been going on if she does not pay up immediately.

My girlfriend also told her that I desperately wanted to go to the police and had to be talked out of it.

In the mean time, I am going to review our security arrangments which will include the erection of spiked railings (I hate these things) , to deter people from climbing over the wall that seperates our balconies.

I like the idea of a dog, but dont want one in the house,

Next time I see her, I will certainly give her the gypsy eye

Cheers all

[LaoPo]

Thanks for all the answers and advice,

Since I posting my girlfriend has confronted the lady in question alone, the girl has admitted to coming in our home via the balcony on several occassions and stealing money, including 2300 baht from the handbag of one of our staff.

The girl has agreed to pay all money back, with the threat of her mother in law and family being informed of whats been going on if she does not pay up immediately.

My girlfriend also told her that I desperately wanted to go to the police and had to be talked out of it.

In the mean time, I am going to review our security arrangments which will include the erection of spiked railings (I hate these things) , to deter people from climbing over the wall that seperates our balconies.

I like the idea of a dog, but dont want one in the house,

Next time I see her, I will certainly give her the gypsy eye

Cheers all

So, not all mothers-in-law are bad (for you)....huh?

You guys handled it well; compliments.

BTW: did all this happen on Koh Phangan?

LaoPo

[suiging]

To risk being caught by such a close neighbour could well be a sign of desperation. If the young lady has a " Habit ", do not be so sure the warning will work. Face is one thing , dependancy is another.

[mosquitoman]

Thanks for all the answers and advice,

Since I posting my girlfriend has confronted the lady in question alone, the girl has admitted to coming in our home via the balcony on several occassions and stealing money, including 2300 baht from the handbag of one of our staff.

The girl has agreed to pay all money back, with the threat of her mother in law and family being informed of whats been going on if she does not pay up immediately.

My girlfriend also told her that I desperately wanted to go to the police and had to be talked out of it.

In the mean time, I am going to review our security arrangments which will include the erection of spiked railings (I hate these things) , to deter people from climbing over the wall that seperates our balconies.

I like the idea of a dog, but dont want one in the house,

Next time I see her, I will certainly give her the gypsy eye

Cheers all

So, not all mothers-in-law are bad (for you)....huh?

You guys handled it well; compliments.

BTW: did all this happen on Koh Phangan?

LaoPo

Yes it happned on Koh Pha Ngan.

[backflip]

No matter what the OP says or does, the loss of face by the thief and her parents, was caused by the thief. Blaming the victim is wrong.

[LaoPo]

No matter what the OP says or does, the loss of face by the thief and her parents, was caused by the thief.

Blaming the victim is wrong.

1. It was the (thief)-daughter-in-law of the (Lady)-neighbour

2. Where/who was saying that the victim was blamed?

LaoPo

[mosquitoman]

No matter what the OP says or does, the loss of face by the thief and her parents, was caused by the thief. Blaming the victim is wrong.

I dont understand you. What are you trying to say?

[womble]

Thanks for all the answers and advice,

Since I posting my girlfriend has confronted the lady in question alone, the girl has admitted to coming in our home via the balcony on several occassions and stealing money, including 2300 baht from the handbag of one of our staff.

The girl has agreed to pay all money back, with the threat of her mother in law and family being informed of whats been going on if she does not pay up immediately.

My girlfriend also told her that I desperately wanted to go to the police and had to be talked out of it.

In the mean time, I am going to review our security arrangments which will include the erection of spiked railings (I hate these things) , to deter people from climbing over the wall that seperates our balconies.

I like the idea of a dog, but dont want one in the house,

Next time I see her, I will certainly give her the gypsy eye

Cheers all

Well done, the thief has owned up. I would be very happy that the theif has owned up, most theifs will deny it at all costs even when caught red handed, so this can be claimed as a victory. Make it very clear to the thief that you are dissapointed that it happened, but that you will keep it quiet so long as the money is returned and there is no repeat. Make it very clear that should your trust be broken again not only will her family be told but also the police will be called in.

You are lucky in that the thief has owned up to stealing more than they have been caught with. Look at this as a chance to wipe the slate clean. This is a win/win situation, it seems the theif is remorsefull, and the threat of total shame infront of the family should be more than enough to keep them from doing it again.

[terry57]

only kidding fella.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

only kidding fella.

Are you certain about that Terry LOL