George W. Bush was scheduled to visit a Methodist Church just outside of

Washington, D.C. Bush's chief of staff made a visit to the

Bishop, and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity

among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and

the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if

during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."

The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The

Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Bush pompously shows up, looking especially smug, and as the sermon

progresses the Bishop begins his homily:

"George Bush is petty, a

self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat and a

low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had

the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing

before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for

oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the

worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But compared to

Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."

Very good, clever too! Just hope he got his money first!