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Where will the family put me when I am too old to care for?


fang37

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Your wife, or her family, will look after you. If your wife is scared that she won't be able to do this (e.g. she may die before you) she will make some arrangement for a relative to look after you.

Thai hospitals generally allow family members to stay and sleep in your hospital room to look after you. My wife is scared I might want to go back to Australia if I have a serious illness because she will not be able to stay at the hospital and look after me. She says it is better for me to be sick in Thailand so she can stay with me until the end (or I get better)!

If she gets a terminal illness while I remain healthy and (relatively) young, she will find a replacement wife to our mutual satisfaction.

That is the Thai way.

Edited by Stevemercer
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I'm a little confused. Why would anyone marry someone, or into a family, that they suspect would cast them aside in their later years, let alone arrange for them to meet with an accident? The members expressing these concerns really need to have a word with themselves about their motivations for marriage in the first place. It's also a very disturbing indication of their perception of Thai people. Creepy stuff. There's a documentary in this somewhere.

Before I got married, I had no idea that my future in laws were the family from hell. That all happened after I signed.

another one found out the truth about marriage after it was too late

True, but a distance of several hours away from them and a one room apartment solves the problem.

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Your wife, or her family, will look after you. If your wife is scared that she won't be able to do this (e.g. she may die before you) she will make some arrangement for a relative to look after you.

Thai hospitals generally allow family members to stay and sleep in your hospital room to look after you. My wife is scared I might want to go back to Australia if I have a serious illness because she will not be able to stay at the hospital and look after me. She says it is better for me to be sick in Thailand so she can stay with me until the end (or I get better)!

If she gets a terminal illness while I remain healthy and (relatively) young, she will find a replacement wife to our mutual satisfaction.

That is the Thai way.

Lucky you. My Thai family ( the in laws from hell ) would never look after me, nor would I expect them to, nor would I want them to.

Your wife may want to stay in hospital with you, but you may not necessarily enjoy the hospital experience. Having had a few days in one, I'd rather not be in a Thai one, but then I know how it should be, and ignorance is bliss.

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You might just get lucky. A retirement village/old peoples home.

Meet a new teeruk - age 80+yo.

Busy everyday singing old songs by the piano; line dancing; secret rendezvous with the tea lady.

When can I go?

Edited by fang37
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You might just get lucky. A retirement village/old peoples home.

Meet a new teeruk - age 80+yo.

Busy everyday singing old songs by the piano; line dancing; secret rendezvous with the tea lady.

When can I go?

80+ teelak no thanks. Being married to one that will never look old before I die has ruined me for any idea of being romantic with one that looks like my granny.

Line dancing- I should be so lucky. The only home I could afford will just park me in front of the telly all day. Understaffed and overworked.

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First question to ask before answering would be "would you still be the only name on your bank account and only one able to access?" This could make all the difference in the reply to you 5555555

It might make a difference to you but we have had a joint bank account for more than 15 years including my UK account when I still had one.

That is another reason why I still love my wife.

Trust and respect for each other in a marriage. You just can't beat it.

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From my experience in an up country town over the last ten years, I wouldn't worry. Thai women I know want security when their much older farang husband dies, this is only natural. If their husband doesn't have a pension he can pass on, they can sound greedy and grasping to a casual observer. Talk is all about how much baht gold, or how many rai land they have been bought this week. The payback for farang, that I have seen in several whose health has gone down hill rapidly, is care and attention they would never get in the west. Quid pro quo.

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From my experience in an up country town over the last ten years, I wouldn't worry. Thai women I know want security when their much older farang husband dies, this is only natural. If their husband doesn't have a pension he can pass on, they can sound greedy and grasping to a casual observer. Talk is all about how much baht gold, or how many rai land they have been bought this week. The payback for farang, that I have seen in several whose health has gone down hill rapidly, is care and attention they would never get in the west. Quid pro quo.

What about the farang that can buy neither gold nor land ( nor much at all )?

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There are nursing homes in Thailand...just Google to find them.

I have looked into these.

The problems are that these care homes are like full time hotels for old people that are still mobile and can still look after themselves to a point. What worries me is; if I became completely immobile and needed 24 hour care. Hope I would die before reaching that level.

Either you can afford to hire some care attendants to look after you 24/7, or my solution is a razor blade in my wallet ( I can't afford to hire anyone ). I wouldn't wish my petite wife to have to look after my 100kg body if I can no longer function like a normal human being.

I'd be more inclined to toot too much china white. Razor blade....really. Behind every joke is a shade of truth.

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From my experience in an up country town over the last ten years, I wouldn't worry. Thai women I know want security when their much older farang husband dies, this is only natural. If their husband doesn't have a pension he can pass on, they can sound greedy and grasping to a casual observer. Talk is all about how much baht gold, or how many rai land they have been bought this week. The payback for farang, that I have seen in several whose health has gone down hill rapidly, is care and attention they would never get in the west. Quid pro quo.

Agree. My Thai g/f knows she will be looked after well when I die. However, it's also in her interest to keep me in good health for as long as possible.

I've seen positive and negative examples in the condo where I live. The ones who die badly usually are loners, have limited resources, or abuse themselves with food and alcohol. The ones who are looked after well can afford to employ a full-time carer - the going rate seems to be about 8000 - 12000 baht a month.

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You will be treated the same way they treat their dogs, turn you out on the street and shut the gate. It's a hard life getting old.

Really?

Can you please tell everyone how many farangs you personally know who this has happened to?

I personally don't know of any.

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From my experience in an up country town over the last ten years, I wouldn't worry. Thai women I know want security when their much older farang husband dies, this is only natural. If their husband doesn't have a pension he can pass on, they can sound greedy and grasping to a casual observer. Talk is all about how much baht gold, or how many rai land they have been bought this week. The payback for farang, that I have seen in several whose health has gone down hill rapidly, is care and attention they would never get in the west. Quid pro quo.

Agree. My Thai g/f knows she will be looked after well when I die. However, it's also in her interest to keep me in good health for as long as possible.

I've seen positive and negative examples in the condo where I live. The ones who die badly usually are loners, have limited resources, or abuse themselves with food and alcohol. The ones who are looked after well can afford to employ a full-time carer - the going rate seems to be about 8000 - 12000 baht a month.

Hmm. Never thought that I could swap the wife for a full time carer, a nanny for the kids and still be well in pocket. Only joking, I think.

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My wife is scared I might want to go back to Australia if I have a serious illness because she will not be able to stay at the hospital and look after me. She says it is better for me to be sick in Thailand so she can stay with me until the end (or I get better)!

Has your wife an Aussie passport?

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Yes, she is an Australian citizen with dual Thai/Australian passport. But I don't think Medicare covers us if we are out of Australia more than 2 years or so.

They should cover you if you return permanently, but check it out. Agree they won't cover you if you tell them you are only going home for a holiday. Besides, if you are too old to live independently, you would only go back to get the full time rest of your life care.

NB this thread is only regarding aged care and not routine medical treatment.

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