Expected too much in Thailand?

[NoshowJones]

Being poorer than most Thais I 've met, has somehow helped me to mix with locals. Sure I didnt expect to live like a prince with a grant in my pocket so I'm ok I guess.

If what you are saying is true, then I suspect you are on overstay.

[mpa]

Being poorer than most Thais I 've met, has somehow helped me to mix with locals.

Sure I didnt expect to live like a prince with a grant in my pocket so I'm ok I guess.

If what you are saying is true, then I suspect you are on overstay.

Believe me it is, and no...I'm legal. I know I belong to an exotic minority but I dont regret it anyway, I wasnt expecting much either.

Edited November 11, 2015 by mpa

[MaeJoMTB]

I'm fairly happy here,

Got a new young wife,

Got a new young son,

Live in my wifes new house,

Spend all my time, hiking, running, cycling and playing with my son.

Didn't anticipate all that much from life at age 60, surprised that life is still so full and so fulfilling.

[kannot]

I expected some decency but it was way too much to ask, they have little value for life, greed and selfishness is all I see.

[Berkshire]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

I'm a Japanese male and I am God to these people.

According to you. Is that what we would refer to as a "messiah complex?"

[mihalis]

Better than expected and living in Oz, mates the same, better than England...

[Smurkster]

The Country certainly isn't in the tops list for me in anything of places I have visited/lived..

[Bernard Flint]

I expected some decency but it was way too much to ask, they have little value for life, greed and selfishness is all I see.

You are talking about uk, right????

[eldragon]

I'm finding the best way to come to terms with life in Thailand not giving you what you expected is to accept the fact that it's not really that different from you're home country. I mean, sure it is, but at the same time many of the things we complain about and get frustrated with here are present in our home country, although maybe not as obvious. Easy example: shady girls. This is a big stereotype about Thailand and, with good reason, many people complain about them. But shady girls back home play the same or similar games. Thais ones are just better looking and not as good at covering their tracks. There's also- I think- a higher percentage of poor people here than there are in the west. And they tend to live alongside the middle and upper classes, so you're exposure to em is greater here. Anyway, my point is, if you really think about the patterns, it's not that different. Just the exterior.

[b4n9]

lOL.. who give a !@#$%^ about!?! keep drinking and breathing. That's all.

[mrfaroukh]

Well there is a lot to do here. All kinds of sport, bars, go go bars, disco, cultural program, good food, good walking area etc. So find your interest or mixture of all. That is what I do. I do different kinds of sport, go for movies, meet friends and have fun together , travel, etc. If all these does not satisfy you take a plane go back to your own country or try another country.

[JLCrab]

<snip> Anyway, my point is, if you really think about the patterns, it's not that different. Just the exterior.

What patterns?

[thaiduncankk]

Too many condescending farangs, and even worse, too many condescending Thais !

[eldragon]

<snip> Anyway, my point is, if you really think about the patterns, it's not that different. Just the exterior.

What patterns?

Sorry, that was a little vague. The patterns that exist in other society. Trends or demographics might be better words to describe it.

[maingmoom]

I am very content here. Yes I have a nice home with land for my wife to work. My wife is also a lovely person. But most of all why I am content. I am now 74. I think young. If I was in England I would be getting up to cold misrable mornings. I would have big heating bills, higher cost of living, higher prices for a beer. My pension would not go far. But here we live a good comfortable life. I have been here over 15 years and I love it.

[mickyboy]

Heres a prime example of what I spoke of above.

You want some, LOL.

this guy is well know for what he is goes to my local football club but one thing he made a lot for charity and has become bit of a celeb mind you if he spoke to me like that he been drinking his beer laying on his back

and no he not the typical english guy just typical english prat

[JLCrab]

<snip> Anyway, my point is, if you really think about the patterns, it's not that different. Just the exterior.

What patterns?

Sorry, that was a little vague. The patterns that exist in other society. Trends or demographics might be better words to describe it.

So Thailand is just like other places except when it isn't?

[jesimps]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

What a load of old blx.

[eldragon]

<snip> Anyway, my point is, if you really think about the patterns, it's not that different. Just the exterior.

What patterns?

Sorry, that was a little vague. The patterns that exist in other society. Trends or demographics might be better words to describe it.

So Thailand is just like other places except when it isn't?

Kinda. I just think there are many things we all complain about that actually arent that different. Sometimes it's just comes down to perspective and the way things are presented.

[JLCrab]

As others have noted on several other forums/topics, I only complain about dogs (of the canine variety)

[rufanuf]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

I don't disagree. Probably factors heavily into one's disillusionment with their situation. Probably a bridge too far for most though.

No amount of speaking Thai is going to make you think Thai, and god forbid if you ever do, you would have just successfully dumbed yourself down to believing in things like "Face" (Dublicity) Ghost (Superstition) Status (Prejudice) and god knows how many other qualities we spent centuries educating ourselves out of in the west. (For better or worse).

[slipperylobster]

Too much drinking leads to a series of events with the terminal point being.....a crappy outlook.

Been there...done that, and lost the race (didn't even get the t shirt).

Look at the posters..

It is the guys who try to enjoy a "normal" day that win. Up early..a little exercise, some positive conversations, enjoying your time alone with the things you like to do...etc. etc.

Yes...I still manage to go out on the town, several times a month...and it's still exciting. Just don't do it every day....save the pubs for a special night out, a few times a month ...and enjoy. Up at 5 am, walking around the lake/park by six. Breakfast at 8, some hobby time, some computer time....perhaps a road trip, a few visitors popping over to chat with, plenty of shopping/restaurants.... all good.

[dotpoom]

I have made it a practice to make a mental "gratitude list" on a regular basis. It helps me develop an "attitude of gratitude". You'd be amazed what a positive effect this can have on one.

[gandalf12]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

They can always learn so not speaking the language is not an excuse.

[kennypowers]

I think a big part of it is realising that the small strips of bars in particular tourist areas are far removed from daily life in Thailand. The realisation that to hang out in bars with prostitutes is no different to doing the same in any other country. Everyday Thai women aren't fussed about speaking with foreign men and don't play along with the sleezy jokes, let alone getting involved in any pay to play. A lot of guys rush to move out here saying things like "the women are great", weirdly discarding the fact that the women they have been interacting with are prostitutes: uneducated single mothers from very poor families who get paid to entertain, much the same as any other country with a similar scene.

Such men then end up living on the fringes of society. They become part of the underbelly, and as such fail to integrate properly, learn the language beyond "suuwayi" or "aroi mak mak" or earn any respect in their local community.

As is inevitable, they usually begin having bad experiences with the Thais in and around the bar/hooker scene. And that's when you start hearing all the Thai bashing: "Thais are all [expletive goes here].

[JLCrab]

Too much drinking leads to a series of events with the terminal point being.....a crappy outlook.

Been there...done that, and lost the race (didn't even get the t shirt).

Look at the posters..

It is the guys who try to enjoy a "normal" day that win. Up early..a little exercise, some positive conversations, enjoying your time alone with the things you like to do...etc. etc.

Yes...I still manage to go out on the town, several times a month...and it's still exciting. Just don't do it every day....save the pubs for a special night out, a few times a month ...and enjoy. Up at 5 am, walking around the lake/park by six. Breakfast at 8, some hobby time, some computer time....perhaps a road trip, a few visitors popping over to chat with, plenty of shopping/restaurants.... all good.

As a result of things that happened to me of a chance occurrence in Thailand, I now routinely have short conversations via email and Twitter with and do regular editing-type favors for the Director of an international NGO that has 3 Nobel Prize winners on its advisory board and has admitted observer status to the UN, WTO, etc. -- does keep things interesting and busy and some lively activity for me.

BTW the 'chance occurrence' was meeting on a Thai domestic air flight the Founder/Director of a large Thai Foundation under Patronage of HM The King having initially no idea who he was.

Edited November 12, 2015 by JLCrab

[bananafish]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

Where I'm from immigrants and minorities are treated equally under the law and authorities. There may be a minority of national idiots who treat them poorly, but the law and authority does not. So you're comparing apples and pears.

I have no unfulfilled expectations personally, I didn't move here without having been here enough to know exactly what to expect.

From what I can tell, some people become dejected not because they are not given special treatment, but because they are not given equal treatment. TiT, we can tell them, because it is.

[MaeJoMTB]

I think a big part of it is realising that the small strips of bars in particular tourist areas are far removed from daily life in Thailand. The realisation that to hang out in bars with prostitutes is no different to doing the same in any other country.

Thai guys do much the same, but in different bars with different prostitutes.

In Thailand nearly all men hang out with hookers ....... at some time.

[Caspersfriend]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

I don't disagree. Probably factors heavily into one's disillusionment with their situation. Probably a bridge too far for most though.

No amount of speaking Thai is going to make you think Thai, and god forbid if you ever do, you would have just successfully dumbed yourself down to believing in things like "Face" (Dublicity) Ghost (Superstition) Status (Prejudice) and god knows how many other qualities we spent centuries educating ourselves out of in the west. (For better or worse).

Two close friends consider that they speak fluent Thai; whatever that is. They both have good personalities and Thais chat to them as if they understand every word. Generally at a party where they are doing the catering. In private my wife tells me that their Thai language skills are mediocre and their jokes are not understood. Most Thais who come from a different province hardly understand a word they say. An American friend has a Masters in linguistics and is translating for hill tribe communities, however when she had a water leak at her house she was unable to tell the plumber what the problem was. Fluency should mean you are able to communicate effectively - I can often do better with 'international' sign language!

[SoiBiker]

I always take it with a large pinch of salt when anybody here claims to be 'fluent' in Thai.