Holiday reminder to jai yen yen, or: How I got smacked in the back of the head

[fishbrando]

Sure, the smack, deserved or not was shocking - - but thinking quick, you might have resisted pouring oil on the fire.

Though no winners here, he sounds to maybe have been more reasonable than you… by chasing him down, taking his picture, you are escalating the event.

Jai choom choom and a happy peaceful new year… glad you got out with no permanent damage. He has probably forgotten all about it by now.

Admittedly it might have been better to just turn the other cheek in this case. I'm not sure I'd agree that he was more reasonable, though, given that he chased me down and slapped me in the head! Then again, I'm not an unbiased third party. Happy peaceful new year to you as well!

[fishbrando]

Obviously, the other party felt he was asulted first.

In Thailand, even making direct eye contact can be considered threatening and over aggressive, especially with Thai men.

Pushing and shoving your way down the sidewalk for something as urgent as a salad, is unacceptable here and almost anywhere..

If you want to live, and survive in another culture from your own, it is important to understand and respect that culture.

I wouldn't call what I was doing "pushing and shoving" but all is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe he thought otherwise.

"When in Rome" is certainly a good philosophy to live by.

Cheers.

[fishbrando]

I was under the assumption that the other party was a farang guy, backpacker. Perhaps the OP can clarify.

He was Asian. He could have been Thai but I'm not 100% sure. He looked like a traveler as he was wearing a medium-sized backpack.

[fishbrando]

Yes, I know there's a whole lot of tough-talking dudes on TV, ready to take on all comers. Not sure how they would react in the real world, however. The OP had the courage to come on here and say that he backed down and was perhaps, partially to blame for the incident occurring in the first place. I'm probably younger and stronger than most that post here, but I prefer to avoid physical confrontations if at all possible as they rarely end well.

Thanks man, and it sounds like you have a healthy attitude towards confrontation, certainly healthier than mine was. Have a safe and happy 2016!

[sipi]

Thais seem basically clueless when it comes to body space, and will stop in the middle of a crowded footpath, totally unaware that the pedestrians are stacking up around them. It is damn frustrating. However it isn't worth barging through and chancing a punchup.

[Cpkt8]

OP has reflected on his own mistakes, that's something to be applauded. Many of us do not reflect on our own shortcomings yet criticising on others.

At some point in our lives, there's always the turning point to be a better person. Matter of time only.

[robblok]

OP has reflected on his own mistakes, that's something to be applauded. Many of us do not reflect on our own shortcomings yet criticising on others.

At some point in our lives, there's always the turning point to be a better person. Matter of time only.

Yes at least he knows what his problem is and wants to solve it. Seems like a good idea, better that than to be in denial of ones problems. Seems like a good attitude.

[fishbrando]

Hey OP, it's clear you understand why this all happened, and your level of self-awareness is pretty impressive. Happy New Year!

Cheers mate and Happy New Year to you as well! Always trying to improve my self-awareness - it could certainly use improvement.

[fey]

You sound like a very aggressive and confrontational person.

You will not last long in Thailand.

Maybe the safe thing for you is to get out now.

Before the next one, who may follow up...if this one doesn't do it first.

Life is cheap here and the life of a foreigner is even cheaper,

The police do not care ( he hung himself with his hands tied behind his back. case closed! )

Good luck with that attitude.

Although I agree with your points, the OP appears to understand his own personality flaws and prepared to repent. I applaud him for seeing the light. The type of rage he's talking about has absolutely no benefit in the LOS.

I dont know too many men who would take a hard slap on the back of the head and do nothing, do you?

Bumping into people here by accident is fairly common due to conjestion, especially for asians. It's even worse in other asian countries. The person in case in need of anger control is the 'slap per' who should have brushed it off as an accident.

Asking this guy to lie down after being attacked is pretty lame in my book, even in thailand where 'life is cheap'.

Yet he (the OP) chased the guy down and did nothing but allowed himself to be further assaulted.

Obviously, the other party felt he was asulted first.

In Thailand, even making direct eye contact can be considered threatening and over aggressive, especially with Thai men.

Pushing and shoving your way down the sidewalk for something as urgent as a salad, is unacceptable here and almost anywhere..

If you want to live, and survive in another culture from your own, it is important to understand and respect that culture.

In what culture is it okay to push your way through a crowded shopping mall?

umm, china?

[fishbrando]

I dont know too many men who would take a hard slap on the back of the head and do nothing, do you?

Asking this guy to lie down after being attacked is pretty lame in my book, even in thailand where 'life is cheap'.

You wont get far in any country with that attitude, unless your at a monestary.

Thanks for the support, man. It reminds me of what Charlie Murphy said about Rick James:

First of all, you don't slap a man. Ok. I mean, even when slapping was fashionable, ya know, they did it in Paris, some guy would come up, *slap slap* "I challenge you to a duel." They would have a gunfight after that, somebody had to go!

Cheers and hope you're having a great holiday!

[fishbrando]

Thais seem basically clueless when it comes to body space, and will stop in the middle of a crowded footpath, totally unaware that the pedestrians are stacking up around them. It is damn frustrating. However it isn't worth barging through and chancing a punchup.

It does get frustrating sometimes. My favorite is when they stop right at the top or bottom of the escalator to figure out where to go. In that case, I have no choice but to push them aside as there is a 15 horsepower electric motor shoving people straight into my back. Still, the discipline seems to be getting better. If you look at the escalators at the BTS these days, you'll notice that people are standing on the right and walking on the left more often than not.

And you're right; it's not worth it to barge through. Have a happy 2016!

[fishbrando]

OP has reflected on his own mistakes, that's something to be applauded. Many of us do not reflect on our own shortcomings yet criticising on others.

At some point in our lives, there's always the turning point to be a better person. Matter of time only.

Cheers mate and yes, it's never too late to improve - even Scrooge had his turning point. Happy Holidays and 2016!

[fishbrando]

Yes at least he knows what his problem is and wants to solve it. Seems like a good idea, better that than to be in denial of ones problems. Seems like a good attitude.

Thanks robblok - you're one of the few posters I know here by name because of your calm and level-headed posts. Hope you meet your workout goals in 2016!

[mogandave]

Why would someone make a story like this up?

Happy holidays, and yes, those were my thoughts as well. I suppose it might be a good story for a troll to make up, but I'm not a known troll...or am I??

Because it sounds like BS and makes you out as tough guy?

I'm calling BS

How does it make me sound tough? It's not like I gave him a beating using only my right thumb: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dka54jH9po

Happy 2016!

You're right, after re-reading it it makes you sound like a punk.

So why'd you chase him down?

After you caught up to him, why did you let him grab you?

Doesn't add up.

Happy New Year to you as well! Here's wishing you all the attention you crave...

[fishbrando]

You're right, after re-reading it it makes you sound like a punk.

So why'd you chase him down?

After you caught up to him, why did you let him grab you?

Doesn't add up.

Happy New Year to you as well! Here's wishing you all the attention you crave...

As I said before, I was seeing red after I got slapped in the head. By the time I reached him, I just wanted to ask him why the hell he slapped me. He just came up and grabbed my forearms - maybe he thought I was going to hit him or something. Add up yet?

Hope you get the attention you crave too!

[fey]

This asian guy bit@h slapped him, then ran.

A real cowardly act in my book. He deserves to be called on it at least.

I hope the following pursuit taught him to never do that again.

A man can confront if he feels he's been wronged, but there is just no excuse for that kind of cowardly behavior.

[mogandave]

You're right, after re-reading it it makes you sound like a punk.

So why'd you chase him down?

After you caught up to him, why did you let him grab you?

Doesn't add up.

Happy New Year to you as well! Here's wishing you all the attention you crave...

As I said before, I was seeing red after I got slapped in the head. By the time I reached him, I just wanted to ask him why the hell he slapped me. He just came up and grabbed my forearms - maybe he thought I was going to hit him or something. Add up yet?

Hope you get the attention you crave too!

Why did you let him grab you?

[mogandave]

This asian guy bit@h slapped him, then ran.

A real cowardly act in my book. He deserves to be called on it at least.

I hope the following pursuit taught him to never do that again.

A man can confront if he feels he's been wronged, but there is just no excuse for that kind of cowardly behavior.

He chased him down and let the guy assault him a second time.

Again, smells of BS to me.

Happy New Year!

[neverdie]

maybe it was ronnie pickering...?

What language are they speaking?

What are they saying?

Were they admiring each other's 'rides'?

Seriously, these guys drive/ride 'big girls blouse' vehicles. Wot a pair of softcox. 555

[fishbrando]

Why did you let him grab you?

He came at me and grabbed at my arms.

My choices:

1. Run away
2. Hit him or kick him or head-butt him
3. Do some sort of judo/MMA move and take him to the ground
4. Push him away
5. Pull my arms away leaving me exposed
6. Just let him grab me

Didn't want to run, so I stood my ground. Didn't want to escalate to blows. Didn't feel like pushing him. So I just let him grab me.

What would you have done?

Edited December 31, 2015 by fishbrando

[mogandave]

Why did you let him grab you?

He came at me and grabbed at my arms.

My choices:

• Run away
• Hit him or kick him or head-butt him
• Do some sort of judo/MMA move and take him to the ground
• Push him away
• Pull my arms away leaving me exposed
• Just let him grab me

Didn't want to run, so I stood my ground. Didn't want to escalate to blows. Didn't feel like pushing him. So I just let him grab me.

What would you have done?

I would not have been a rude a-hole pushing my way through a crowd in a shopping mall.

That said, I would not bother chasing anyone if I were not planning on doing something when I caught them, much less allow them to put their hands on me.

You claim you were going to ask them why they hit you. Why would you assume they spoke English?

When he came at you, how did you know he was just going to grab you?

Again, I think you're making the whole thing up.

[roo860]

Why did you let him grab you?

He came at me and grabbed at my arms.

My choices:

• Run away
• Hit him or kick him or head-butt him
• Do some sort of judo/MMA move and take him to the ground
• Push him away
• Pull my arms away leaving me exposed
• Just let him grab me

Didn't want to run, so I stood my ground. Didn't want to escalate to blows. Didn't feel like pushing him. So I just let him grab me.

What would you have done?

He did nothing, should have carried on shopping.

[HLover]

another day, another tosser.

[Mudcrab]

Thais seem basically clueless when it comes to body space, and will stop in the middle of a crowded footpath, totally unaware that the pedestrians are stacking up around them. It is damn frustrating. However it isn't worth barging through and chancing a punchup.

It does get frustrating sometimes. My favorite is when they stop right at the top or bottom of the escalator to figure out where to go. In that case, I have no choice but to push them aside as there is a 15 horsepower electric motor shoving people straight into my back. Still, the discipline seems to be getting better. If you look at the escalators at the BTS these days, you'll notice that people are standing on the right and walking on the left more often than not.

And you're right; it's not worth it to barge through. Have a happy 2016!

Read the signs at the BTS...they'll tell you where to stand on the escalators and which side to walk/climb if you so desire.

And learn to say excuse me in Thai...then you won't have to rudely push people aside.

Not that hard to do.

[mad mary]

another day, another tosser.

You shudda kept ye gob shut!

[mad mary]

Why did you let him grab you?

He came at me and grabbed at my arms.

My choices:

• Run away
• Hit him or kick him or head-butt him
• Do some sort of judo/MMA move and take him to the ground
• Push him away
• Pull my arms away leaving me exposed
• Just let him grab me

Didn't want to run, so I stood my ground. Didn't want to escalate to blows. Didn't feel like pushing him. So I just let him grab me.

What would you have done?

I would not have been a rude a-hole pushing my way through a crowd in a shopping mall.

That said, I would not bother chasing anyone if I were not planning on doing something when I caught them, much less allow them to put their hands on me.

You claim you were going to ask them why they hit you. Why would you assume they spoke English?

When he came at you, how did you know he was just going to grab you?

Again, I think you're making the whole thing up.

Bogandave you couldnt chase a pint .

[jacko45k]

You come across as a bit of a jerk!

Two similar characters met in the Paragon.

If you go out looking for trouble, you will find it.

It certainly helps to be humbled every once in a while. Maybe I need to dial back my testosterone. Have a great new year!

Yes you too, remember, like I do when driving, think butterflies and honey-bees!

[mogandave]

Why did you let him grab you?

He came at me and grabbed at my arms.

My choices:

• Run away
• Hit him or kick him or head-butt him
• Do some sort of judo/MMA move and take him to the ground
• Push him away
• Pull my arms away leaving me exposed
• Just let him grab me

Didn't want to run, so I stood my ground. Didn't want to escalate to blows. Didn't feel like pushing him. So I just let him grab me.

What would you have done?

I would not have been a rude a-hole pushing my way through a crowd in a shopping mall.

That said, I would not bother chasing anyone if I were not planning on doing something when I caught them, much less allow them to put their hands on me.

You claim you were going to ask them why they hit you. Why would you assume they spoke English?

When he came at you, how did you know he was just going to grab you?

Again, I think you're making the whole thing up.

Bogandave you couldnt chase a pint .

I thought a pint was a chase...

[fishbrando]

I would not have been a rude a-hole pushing my way through a crowd in a shopping mall.

That said, I would not bother chasing anyone if I were not planning on doing something when I caught them, much less allow them to put their hands on me.

We've been over this, and I agree, you're a much better person than I am.

We were discussing how incredulous it was that I would do something as ridiculously unbelievable as to let him grab my arms. I gave my reasons. You said you wouldn't have let him grab you. What would you have done? Put him in a figure-four leg-lock?

The arm grab turned out pretty well, actually. It put us in a physical stalemate and gave us a chance to talk.

You claim you were going to ask them why they hit you. Why would you assume they spoke English?

1. Why do you assume I only speak English?
2. It's not a bad assumption, given the status of English as an international language.
3. Honestly, I wasn't thinking about it much when I started chasing after him. I do admit, though, that once he grabbed me and we started a bit of grappling, the language issue crossed my mind.

When he came at you, how did you know he was just going to grab you?

You know the claw-like shape your hand makes when you're going to grab something? His hands were in that shape. I believe people call it a "grabbing motion". That's why I thought he was going to grab my arm.

Sure, he could have feigned a grab and then given me a stiff uppercut, but I didn't have time to think through all the possibilities.

Again, I think you're making the whole thing up.

Skepticism is warranted with all stories especially on the internet, so I completely understand. Like I said, I could have made the whole thing up. Sadly, I have no concrete proof that it happened; the proof is unfortunately locked away in the security footage archives of the mall. If you'd like, I can give you an exact time and location and you can try to get them yourself, but I doubt you have either the means or motivation to do so. I certainly have no skin in the game in terms of proving it to you or anyone else.

I'm happy to answer additional questions but I should mention that your current line of questioning is not only failing to elicit any significant inconsistencies in my story, but they were also unlikely to do so assuming reasonable answers. This implies that you haven't fully analyzed the logical basis of your skepticism. If I were on your legal team in a trial, I would ask you to end your cross-examination and do a bit more homework and analysis before you helped our opposition's case any further.

Hopefully you'll be able to come up with a real zinger of a question that exposes a fatal inconsistency in my story and exposes me for the internet troll that I am. I'm waiting. Good luck and cheers mate.

Oh, I almost forgot! I took a photo from my hotel room today and saw this word on the top of a building. It reminded me of your kind words and brought a smile to my face.

[fey]

some twerp got bumped into and he became angry and decided to hit someone.

no big mystery. it happens.

the lesson we can all learn here is that if someone bumps into you unintentionally you have no right to go around hitting people for no reason.
in any other country this asian twerp would have been arrested or mall security would have intervened.

there's no real rule of law here, so we feel we can get away with hitting someone and its a kind of 'us' against 'them' mentality.
that's one of things i dont like about thailand. if something serious happens theres no real protection. you seem to be one your own is violence or theft occurs.