about thai custum for mothers funeral

[ian1949]

some info please , my wife,s mother died a few days ago, my wife has been left to see to sort funeral all that go,s with it she has three brothers in the police , bmws the full hit I don't mind paying for the send off as she was good to me when had cancer, if not for her and I may not be here today, so is this the norm ,or isit that wifes mother has left land 50 rye and house to my wife, cost of send off 1500 pounds, this is not an problem more the that the brother are high ranking , they came drank and ate done one, big thanks for eny info , ps I live in isaan my name on t,v is ian1949 thank you

[Eclipse]

Everyone that attends the funeral over a matter of days will contribute cash.

This helps a great deal.

Most villages will have a fund that everyone pays into. This will help as well.

Your Wife may well have her mother insured. This would also help.

The price you quoted sounds reasonable.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Eclipse

[Issangeorge]

I think that the youngest daughter is expected to look after the parents, maybe that is why your wife pays. Of course I have no idea if that is true.

[willyumiii]

It all sounds about right.

I know of funerals where the amount of donations have exceeded the cost.

Thai people are good about this,

especially if she was well respected and liked.

[manxninja]

Stressfull time, id say may be a little extra depending on how big the send off is.

Its always good to see kindness repaid.

[tom21]

your wife's brothers. family and guest will donate when they attend the funeral. the money received may or may not meet the costs. any short fall should be shared by her children, they know what to do so do not worry about it. remember there is no secrets on who donated or how much

[colinneil]

Yes when people attend and give the envelopes to help with the funeral, the envelope contents are recorded.

[lostinisaan]

I've said goodbye to quite a lot of relatives and friends and also helped to organize everything. It's always my part to pick up the monks and bring them home.

It's usually a three day ceremony, depending on her wealth. Wealthy people sometimes stretch it to a one week scenario. But it can also happen that relatives from let's say Phuket are still on their way and it's taking a few more days to have all relatives together.

Please talk to your wife that you wish to have an alcohol less procedure. It's not just saving you guys a lot of money, it keeps the Lhao Kao freaks away and the good bye saying is a littler bit more aesthetic.

As already mentioned people will receive an envelope with an invitation to come to the cremation. Those people who don't show up put at least 100 baht in and make a Wai.

Pigs. You'll have to buy pigs, two, three, four, it all depends on how many guests are expected. There's always the village slaughter and it's not everybody's thing to watch the guy killing the pigs with a shovel, which can take a few minutes, while the other pigs can watch it.....

Vegetables and fruits. Please think about various vegetables you'll need for the food, also buy some fruits, it ain't that expensive. There're always some women from the village who help cooking food, guess your wife knows how to get that done.

The monks aren't for free, if the mom in law wasn't wealthy, 150 baht per monk in an envelope, plus the food and some special presents ( like the yellow baskets you can see everywhere) an orange umbrella, etc....

There's no minimum what you have to give them....

Monks come in the morning and in the evening. Then you can help to serve them some food, before you guys start to eat. It helps you to be a much better part of the society and they love to see you helping them. And I don't mean being the ATM machine.

The sad music that you'll hear for the whole time comes from temple owned amps and speakers. If not, you can "rent the equipment very cheap", including a guy who takes care of the sound for the period of time.

If you've got any questions, please feel free to page me. The photo shows the ceremony of my wife's uncle who wasn't just a relative to me. We're good friends and had a lot of laughter together. On the day of the cremation, you'll walk three times around the temple, following the truck with mom's dead body on it.

I think this way to say goodbye is much more relaxed and not like the Crocodile tear loaded events in Europe where people start fighting over money, right after the cemetery.

You shouldn't wear shorts, wear some pants, preferable black.

Don't buy any alcohol and you'll have a peaceful and easy time. Alcohol attracts asssholes.

P.S. When you knee down in front of the box, lit up one incense stick and one candle. Then say goodbye to her and wish her a good ride.

Edited January 22, 2016 by lostinisaan

[sometimewoodworker]

£1,500 is not expensive at all. My wife's grandmother just died and I think the cost may have been double that.

My wife's comment was "don't worry she's not going to come back and die again" it's the last thing I can do for her.

http://meekings.selfip.com/nui/Groups-of-photos/New_house/Pages/Good-bye_grand_mum.html

[lungbing]

Not quite the last thing. My wife's grandmother died in October. 100 days later there was another ceremony when the old lady's ashes were interred in a niche in the temple wall.

[lostinisaan]

Not quite the last thing. My wife's grandmother died in October. 100 days later there was another ceremony when the old lady's ashes were interred in a niche in the temple wall.

And there might be one more after 365 days. Or 366?