You Know you are in Thailand when........

[mankondang]

The yes/no thing drives me crazy as I have to constantly invent ways to check if the information got in there correctly (like a CRC redundancy check for computer techies amongst us) or if the receiver went into sleep mode while I was still in mid sentence (tip: just insert "som tam" every couple of words to keep the connection active). Do we go left or right here?, Yess, is that left then? Noo, is it right? Up to you. This is not from an idiot partner either - my GF is actually a pretty street smart girl, but our languages don't interface how I would have preferred. I'm pretty sure I'm boring her to tears every time I open my mouth, but binary is an idea I might introduce to her after a decade or two more familiarisation. I can imagine when they get together they all gossip and say something like "don't do anything that makes the farang talk, just close the deal and be done with it, I promise you, otherwise they'll drive you crazy"...meanwhile on the other side of the fence... Maybe that's why she leaps on me to give me a hug so much - to make sure I don't talk or think [too mutt].

To answer your question about suggestions, I think most of them would sound like I'm Thai bashing which I don't want to do, so I'll mention just a couple of the more innocent practices:

1. like when you're full and 30 mins after finishing your meal they ask "are you hungry yet?"

2. They put some piece of fruit to your mouth and you back off to see what it is because you've become long sighted over the years, and say you don't really like this particular one and prefer xyz, but for the next 365 days you have ground hog day.

3. The myopic behaviour in the street or on the road, even with the soi animals that look really shocked when you're within 1 metre of them. Back home your dog knows the sound of your vehicle approaching from 1 mile away. Here they only notice when you stand on their paw or beep your horn to stop from riding/driving over them, and they lazily get up and stroll to the side of the road. Why thanks buddy for tolerating my efforts to help you stay alive another day...

Umm, after reading all this, it's not only your girlfriend who's been bored to tears. I.T. bored me to tears as well.

[loong]

Jingle Bells playing on TV to the end of January

People wishing you "Happy New Year" in early February

Then about 10 weeks later

People wishing you "Happy New Year" for another month

[mcfish]

Saying "heloor" at least three times when answering the phone

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[UPDEHSOI]

When I find myself repeating a Noun two times in the course of a conversation....like...Taxi Taxi....Same Same...etc.,

same is used as an adjective or pronoun. sorry to be a pedant but if we don't know our basic english grammar how can we hope to help the thais?

samsensam, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! I'm sitting here with two fiends who are English teachers. One is from the good ole hoo ess hay, the other is native Thai ( lived in England for seven years. ) This information is to let you know where my questions are coming from. Soooo... should that be basic English grammar, or basic english grammar? Also, should it be thais or Thais? Then too, when you have time, would you introduce me to more than two "falangs" who are here to help the Thais, thais, whoever. Please don't include any NGO people who are here sitting on their bums, making a fortune while telling the world how Thailand should be run. ( and to think, a few minutes ago I was sitting here, peaceably minding my own business, sipping a coffee...perked. Had to open my big mouth )

[Gsxrnz]

You know you're in Thailand when......people can move house on the back of a motorcycle taxi in a single trip, their sole possessions being the obligatory fan and mini ironing board plus a bag of clothes.

[UPDEHSOI]

You know you are in Thailand when the people smile.

Agree with you 100%

[stephenterry]

When the only Thai phrase you know is Mai mee

[mca]

When a random westerner engages you in uninvited conversation and within a minute you think " What institution did they escape from?" and hurriedly look for an excuse to leave along the lines of " I've got to be going I've got a heart transplant booked in for 10" as anything less just won't cut it.

Edited January 30, 2016 by mca

[Bredbury Blue]

When you order Pepper Steak (steak with pepper sauce), steak arrives without any sauce, you enquire where's the pepper sauce, to be told "mai mee pepper" (sakon nakon).

[NickJ]

When you discover that you can pick your nose. during a conversation......

[bazza40]

You know you're in Thailand when.....you've got a 15 yard birdie putt and your girl caddie says "you get birdie, I go with you. You miss birdie, you go with me".

I played Amata Spring last wednesday, i had a tap in birdie, caddie said "you get birdie, you give me money"

I said, "you putt it, and I will pay you", it was like 14 inches, and she missed it...lol

Possibly she was used to a different kind of pressure........

[bazza40]

When I find myself repeating a Noun two times in the course of a conversation....like...Taxi Taxi....Same Same...etc.,

same is used as an adjective or pronoun. sorry to be a pedant but if we don't know our basic english grammar how can we hope to help the thais?

samsensam, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! I'm sitting here with two fiends who are English teachers. One is from the good ole hoo ess hay, the other is native Thai ( lived in England for seven years. ) This information is to let you know where my questions are coming from. Soooo... should that be basic English grammar, or basic english grammar? Also, should it be thais or Thais? Then too, when you have time, would you introduce me to more than two "falangs" who are here to help the Thais, thais, whoever. Please don't include any NGO people who are here sitting on their bums, making a fortune while telling the world how Thailand should be run. ( and to think, a few minutes ago I was sitting here, peaceably minding my own business, sipping a coffee...perked. Had to open my big mouth )

"Two fiends who are English teachers?" I suppose you could be right, and it's not a typo.........

[TuskegeeBen]

When you're waiting to shop in T21 mall in Bkk and they're turning away all the white foreigners saying not open till ten but allowing all the Thais to walk through the door at 09:30

Wow! I'll spread the word that all black farangs are privileged, to get into the T-21 Mall, together with the Thai people, a full 30 minutes before the white farangs are allowed entrance. Thanks for the info,

Edited January 30, 2016 by TuskegeeBen

[Shiver]

The yes/no thing drives me crazy as I have to constantly invent ways to check if the information got in there correctly (like a CRC redundancy check for computer techies amongst us) or if the receiver went into sleep mode while I was still in mid sentence (tip: just insert "som tam" every couple of words to keep the connection active). Do we go left or right here?, Yess, is that left then? Noo, is it right? Up to you. This is not from an idiot partner either - my GF is actually a pretty street smart girl, but our languages don't interface how I would have preferred. I'm pretty sure I'm boring her to tears every time I open my mouth, but binary is an idea I might introduce to her after a decade or two more familiarisation. I can imagine when they get together they all gossip and say something like "don't do anything that makes the farang talk, just close the deal and be done with it, I promise you, otherwise they'll drive you crazy"...meanwhile on the other side of the fence... Maybe that's why she leaps on me to give me a hug so much - to make sure I don't talk or think [too mutt].

To answer your question about suggestions, I think most of them would sound like I'm Thai bashing which I don't want to do, so I'll mention just a couple of the more innocent practices:

1. like when you're full and 30 mins after finishing your meal they ask "are you hungry yet?"

2. They put some piece of fruit to your mouth and you back off to see what it is because you've become long sighted over the years, and say you don't really like this particular one and prefer xyz, but for the next 365 days you have ground hog day.

3. The myopic behaviour in the street or on the road, even with the soi animals that look really shocked when you're within 1 metre of them. Back home your dog knows the sound of your vehicle approaching from 1 mile away. Here they only notice when you stand on their paw or beep your horn to stop from riding/driving over them, and they lazily get up and stroll to the side of the road. Why thanks buddy for tolerating my efforts to help you stay alive another day...

Umm, after reading all this, it's not only your girlfriend who's been bored to tears. I.T. bored me to tears as well.

Did to me too and no longer have any role to play in that game. When I was an early teen it was exciting, but now I'm of that age where I think of scratching my ass for 20 mins before actually taking action...or maybe I won't, let me think about that some more.

[Shiver]

When I find myself repeating a Noun two times in the course of a conversation....like...Taxi Taxi....Same Same...etc.,

same is used as an adjective or pronoun. sorry to be a pedant but if we don't know our basic english grammar how can we hope to help the thais?

samsensam, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! I'm sitting here with two fiends who are English teachers. One is from the good ole hoo ess hay, the other is native Thai ( lived in England for seven years. ) This information is to let you know where my questions are coming from. Soooo... should that be basic English grammar, or basic english grammar? Also, should it be thais or Thais? Then too, when you have time, would you introduce me to more than two "falangs" who are here to help the Thais, thais, whoever. Please don't include any NGO people who are here sitting on their bums, making a fortune while telling the world how Thailand should be run. ( and to think, a few minutes ago I was sitting here, peaceably minding my own business, sipping a coffee...perked. Had to open my big mouth )

I can only introduce myself and not other people, but since I'm domiciled here I have a duty as I see it to help my neighbours which in this instance are Thais. I don't work here so am not making a fortune locally or taking anyone's job etc (modest income from outside the Kingdom).

I'm not grammar police either as we all make mistakes (glass houses and so on).

So, my version of the answer to your question would be along the lines of "I'm not trying to tell them how to do things, but back off and give me some space and I'll see how I can assist and make things better for the community" type thing.

[juice777]

When you are going up the stairs of a nightclub and before you get to the top,you are going home with a beautiful lady

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[nuananddon]

When you learn that there is a right way to go the wrong way on a one way road. And while reading TV there's always the grammar police to correct your spelling, personally I don't care what the person spells like, sometimes spellcheck does crazy things to your quotes and if you don't proof read before posting its to late to change it.

[juice777]

When you learn that there is a right way to go the wrong way on a one way road. And while reading TV there's always the grammar police to correct your spelling, personally I don't care what the person spells like, sometimes spellcheck does crazy things to your quotes and if you don't proof read before posting its to late to change it.

I aagriee

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[BeefSlapper]

When your daughter is brutally murdered on the island holidays by the locals and you get "mai pen rai go make another one" from police.

Sent from my SM-A800F using Tapatalk

[Ace of Pop]

When you notice the difference from XL to XXXL is about 1mm

[AlQaholic]

I think the question should be:

You suddenly wake up on a bench on the sidewalk of a random street, you don't know how you got there, no memory of that, and then the question is, how would you know you are in Thailand? without communicating with anyone, just looking and listening around? And lets say also, you do not recognize the language spoken around you.

And as an additional challenge, the answer must be humorous!

I am not going to answer it myself because I'm too stupid to come up with something funny.

[NoshowJones]

When you see a Thai guy standing a few mtrs away from his truck and having a pee for all the world to see.

[NoshowJones]

When you learn that there is a right way to go the wrong way on a one way road. And while reading TV there's always the grammar police to correct your spelling, personally I don't care what the person spells like, sometimes spellcheck does crazy things to your quotes and if you don't proof read before posting its to late to change it.

and if you don't proof read before posting its to late to change it.

No it is not, you can edit it.

[seancbk]

At restaurant/cafe. When your food comes out in staggered intervals and the first person served has eaten their meal before the last person get theirs.

While I take your point when applied to a Western restaurant or when ordering western food, I don't concur when it comes to Thai food. Thai dishes are (in the most part) not single dishes to be consumed by one person.

The dishes are meant to be shared - so having the various dishes arrive at intervals is entirely appropriate.

Sure, it's a pain when one wants a single western dish and the others order Thai.

It is also slightly frustrating to order starters and have them come after all the main dishes have been eaten.

Then again it can easily be avoided by telling the server which dishes to bring first, or even by ordering part of the meal first and then ordering more (the main courses) after you've started eating the starters.

[mcfish]

When you're waiting to shop in T21 mall in Bkk and they're turning away all the white foreigners saying not open till ten but allowing all the Thais to walk through the door at 09:30

Wow! I'll spread the word that all black farangs are privileged, to get into the T-21 Mall, together with the Thai people, a full 30 minutes before the white farangs are allowed entrance. Thanks for the info,

I think you will find they are actually staff

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[TheCruncher]

When you meet a car on the road that has red bulbs in his headlights, and he is allowed to drive it on public roads.

[Ace of Pop]

You fancy browsing a Market but don't because the music does your head in.