Someone explain my luck

[Phaeton]

I'm in your same situation. I don't agree you are too young. I'm 54 and in your same situation-hard to meet girls as we don't know the language. Several times walking through the malls I've gotten nice smiles from pretty girls, but even saying hi or asking some manufactured question about where the BTS station is, is hard.

Many people conclude that learning some of the language is very important. But usually the Thai girls I have met "want to practice their english." So I haven't learned much.

I've dated 5-6 very good girls in the year I have been in Thailand. All english speaking and met through the web sites. All of them were not "pros" very easy to meet them at their work etc. In one case one girl had worked at the same place for 13 years.

OP, if you find any good ideas in your travels, please post. I have many thoughts on this topic, as I have been at it for a while, pretty much full time as I am retired. But too much to post here. One interesting thread here, "what would you do different upon coming to Thailand" concluded that getting out of the farang areas was an idea. I may try that next. Move from Bkk to a smaller town.

I think the ideal situation would be to find a job/position, that allowed you to interact with many girls a day. But who knows.

[seancbk]

I'm in your same situation. I don't agree you are too young. I'm 54 and in your same situation-hard to meet girls as we don't know the language. Several times walking through the malls I've gotten nice smiles from pretty girls, but even saying hi or asking some manufactured question about where the BTS station is, is hard.

Many people conclude that learning some of the language is very important. But usually the Thai girls I have met "want to practice their english." So I haven't learned much.

I've dated 5-6 very good girls in the year I have been in Thailand. All english speaking and met through the web sites. All of them were not "pros" very easy to meet them at their work etc. In one case one girl had worked at the same place for 13 years.

OP, if you find any good ideas in your travels, please post. I have many thoughts on this topic, as I have been at it for a while, pretty much full time as I am retired. But too much to post here. One interesting thread here, "what would you do different upon coming to Thailand" concluded that getting out of the farang areas was an idea. I may try that next. Move from Bkk to a smaller town.

I think the ideal situation would be to find a job/position, that allowed you to interact with many girls a day. But who knows.

I was going to post in reply to the OP, but I'll reply here as it might help you too.

I'm slightly older than the OP, but younger than you (Phaeton) and in a similar situation, or at least I was. I grew up in Hong Kong where dating attractive, well educated women with good jobs and from good families was easy.

When I moved to Bangkok 7 years ago I found it very hard to meet girls that met my criteria for a girlfriend and even fewer (read: none!) who would have been marriage material.

Thankfully that changed and I am in a committed relationship with an absolutely stunning, smart girl who's family are comfortably well off.

I took me 3 years of being single while I looked for the right type of girl though. I was lucky enough to be introduced to her by one of her friends.

So back to the OP and your problem (one which I'm sure a lot of guys face here)

There are masses of great girls out there and you don't need to speak Thai to meet them (a little helps of course) as many of them speak English well enough to have a conversation and like you said, they want to practice their English.

Your problem is you are not doing enough to meet them. You can only meet people if you get out to where they are and that means being a lot more social.

I would recommend you both check out meetup.com as there are numerous social groups where you can meet interesting professionals.

There is also regular Travel Industry event which is full of girls who work in hotels and speak good English - https://www.facebook.com/events/590877034275423/

The Pacific City Club in downtown Bangkok used to do a regular Sundowners social mixer, I've not been for a while but you should check that club out as see what they have going on http://www.pacificcityclub.com/

Here is a link to their social scene page - http://www.pacificcityclub.com/social_scenes.php

You just need to become more socially active and as your network grows so will the opportunities to meet or be introduced to hot girls.

Best of luck!

[AdamRich]

Consider yourself lucky not to have dated professional women in Thailand. Cuckoo. And what do you want to have a conversation with them for? I thought most guys went to Thailand because they wouldn't be able to understand what the women were saying and if they could they still wouldn't care.

As for internet dating, I am 43 and have been meeting chicks on the internet since there was an internet to be on. And before that I was meeting them on phone chat lines where you would have to send each other pictures through the postal service. It is just a way of life to me. If you don't like the fat chicks why do you choose to meet them? And like another poster said, why not just go up to women in public who you are attracted to and strike up a conversation? Invite them for pizza. Nobody turns down pizza.

[Roomuck]

I used to think online dating was for losers, but a mate did it with amazing success.

So I tried it, wrote only in Thai which I reckon gave me a huge advantage. My Thai was terrible but ended up with more girls that I had time for as they thought my Thai was "cute" and wanted to help me learn.

Best part is being able to say what you don't want straight up so you don't waste time. I didn't want a girl with kids, tattoos, smoker, drinker, fat, must have a real job, not work in a tourist area, etc.

I had the ride of my life, I would never have believed it if I hadn't experienced it.

Ended up with one who not only qualified, but was almost "overqualified".

[remaxtony]

I'm in your same situation. I don't agree you are too young. I'm 54 and in your same situation-hard to meet girls as we don't know the language. Several times walking through the malls I've gotten nice smiles from pretty girls, but even saying hi or asking some manufactured question about where the BTS station is, is hard.

Many people conclude that learning some of the language is very important. But usually the Thai girls I have met "want to practice their english." So I haven't learned much.

I've dated 5-6 very good girls in the year I have been in Thailand. All english speaking and met through the web sites. All of them were not "pros" very easy to meet them at their work etc. In one case one girl had worked at the same place for 13 years.

OP, if you find any good ideas in your travels, please post. I have many thoughts on this topic, as I have been at it for a while, pretty much full time as I am retired. But too much to post here. One interesting thread here, "what would you do different upon coming to Thailand" concluded that getting out of the farang areas was an idea. I may try that next. Move from Bkk to a smaller town.

I think the ideal situation would be to find a job/position, that allowed you to interact with many girls a day. But who knows.

Great idea about getting away from the "tourist" areas is what I imagine they meant. Possibly out into the smaller towns as you say, but I will caution that as you leave BKK, the level of English drops like a rock.

The girls in the business world of BKK learn English due to work.....out in the smaller cities, it is not as prevalent.....but the ladies are there for sure.

[Jacks77]

Typical comments from the old farts in this website.

It is difficult to get quality thai women. Most of the thai women who look for foreigners are poor, from isan or are women no thai men want. Most of the old losers here end up w them.

Tinder is a good app, you find nicer women there than thaifriendly which is basically the low class thai dating site.

I was in the same situation as you now I have a chinese girlfriend.

If u want to find nice girls you have to go to nice places. Forget level or even that garbage of suk soi 11.

Kudeta, virgin active gym, join internations, thise are better places to find quality women. Honestly I think chinese or half thai half chinese are the best ones.

It is hard to break into the hiso circles but once u meet one, you will get in. The hiso circles are small and eveyone knows each other.

Dont listen to the old buffalos w their isan tirak in this forum. They are losers and they are always jealous of the well off foreigners

[rlopes]

Replying to OP:

Love and happiness don't work like this. We westerns grew up believing that some people are worth more than others. Do you really believe that?

Don't think too hard about how much you need a loved one. Just go about your life, be genuinely kind to people and soon you will find someone that will give you a lot of joy, being her Thai or not.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Typical comments from the old farts in this website.

It is difficult to get quality thai women. Most of the thai women who look for foreigners are poor, from isan or are women no thai men want. Most of the old losers here end up w them.

Tinder is a good app, you find nicer women there than thaifriendly which is basically the low class thai dating site.

I was in the same situation as you now I have a chinese girlfriend.

If u want to find nice girls you have to go to nice places. Forget level or even that garbage of suk soi 11.

Kudeta, virgin active gym, join internations, thise are better places to find quality women. Honestly I think chinese or half thai half chinese are the best ones.

It is hard to break into the hiso circles but once u meet one, you will get in. The hiso circles are small and eveyone knows each other.

Dont listen to the old buffalos w their isan tirak in this forum. They are losers and they are always jealous of the well off foreigners

Ugh.... I feel sick.

[momtaz]

Myself :: started with chat in early 2000, began with Yahoo messenger,,

then found Yahoo chat rooms in 2002 or 2003, ICQ, Skype and so on.. 2004, 2005 and later coming years are the Golden days of Yahoo chat rooms, from my solid experience : I would suggest you few points:

Register in many free dating sites,

once there is an interaction, invite to chat via Line, Skype, (avoid as much as possible to reveal your cell)

throw your net as the fisher man, then select what kind of fishes you need in your basket,

I am sure you can date at least one girl every weekend,

Go meet, sit down, drink some coffee.. have some talk and then make your assessment,

date and meet as much as you can,, just knowing and meeting different types of ppl will makes you expert to choose your favorite one,

dating and meeting is the easiest thing,

KEEP IN MIND: (for your safety)

Never and ever reveal your real identity, = tell a nick name, etc,

Where you staying, = tell somewhere else,

What are you doing in your life, = just a generic, or the commonly known job for foreigners (English teacher)

In Thailand, Never and ever think about pay for sex,

since I am living here for a while,, I still try to believe how a man will do this in the land of smiles !!?

in other countries maybe,

so keep throwing your net in the running stream everyday, chances and opportunities are there! trust you will find what type you like, can easily find 25 - 30 of age,

[smotherb]

Ladies and Gentlemen.... We have a Sex God among us.

How did you know I was here?

[MeHere]

Not sure why you think that "resorting to" an online matching service is a bad thing... I'd be using it to it's full potential, which is filtering out the crap and honing in what you really want (with some fun in between)... which can be logistically a PITA, especially if you're looking in bars or suspect places... Hanging out in public places trying to find/pick up chicks is just plain creepy... some guys apparently like it though :-S

I recommend Thaicupid or Thaifriendly... it's full of lovely girls from all walks (and a bunch of nasty ones too! LOL), worked for me years ago and I was 40-50 when I was using it.

[smotherb]

Try Ramkhamhaeng university, put up a few flyers for private English tutor.

you get paid 100 baht for 1 hour you find out what they are all about, eliminate the;

1. Fat (I don't think it's fair for me to date a fat girl when I work hard to not be fat, so that's out)

2. Speaks no English (I like having a conversation with a girl)

3. Is a total flake (will chat briefly, then disappear)

Then when you have met the right girl you ask her out.

If it worked for me it can work for you and this advice came for free and without any snark, sarcasm, or mockery

Let me know how you go, good luck fella!!

I agree with frequenting university areas as an easy way to meet young women. Just have a coffee or two in one of the many coffee houses; they have wifi. Invariably, a young lady or man will come up to you just to speak English. The women may be potential mates or can introduce you--the men may also introduce you to a female. I hesitate to suggest teaching English for a fee.

If you prefer older women, try the gym, coffee houses, lunch counters, and shopping areas downtown or around hospitals. I find most medical practitioners and business professionals speak some English. Use your imagination to arrange a meeting if you see an agreeable sort.

In my single days, I saw a lovely doctor entering her office. I made an appointment for a physical. We enjoyed a two-year relationship.

[jomcondo]

I would try

Japan

Korea

China

[thaiduncankk]

KEEP IN MIND: (for your safety)

Never and ever reveal your real identity, = tell a nick name, etc,

Where you staying, = tell somewhere else,

What are you doing in your life, = just a generic, or the commonly known job for foreigners (English teacher)

In Thailand, Never and ever think about pay for sex,

Most women respect a bit of honesty in a relationship. You, however, are suggesting people be compulsive liars from day one.

So sad !

[SOTIRIOS]

...as they say.....'get a life'............

[jomcondo]

KEEP IN MIND: (for your safety)

Never and ever reveal your real identity, = tell a nick name, etc,

Where you staying, = tell somewhere else,

What are you doing in your life, = just a generic, or the commonly known job for foreigners (English teacher)

In Thailand, Never and ever think about pay for sex,

Most women respect a bit of honesty in a relationship. You, however, are suggesting people be compulsive liars from day one.

So sad !

thats the way it works in thailand......the biggest liar wins.

[seancbk]

KEEP IN MIND: (for your safety)

Never and ever reveal your real identity, = tell a nick name, etc,

Where you staying, = tell somewhere else,

What are you doing in your life, = just a generic, or the commonly known job for foreigners (English teacher)

In Thailand, Never and ever think about pay for sex,

since I am living here for a while,, I still try to believe how a man will do this in the land of smiles !!?

in other countries maybe,

so keep throwing your net in the running stream everyday, chances and opportunities are there! trust you will find what type you like, can easily find 25 - 30 of age,

So having met a nice girl and told her your name is "Steve" how do you then explain when she meets your friends that your name is really "Charles" ?

How do you take her home if you can't tell her where you live?

How do you explain taking her dinner and drinks and spending more in one night than a teacher earns in a week, if she thinks you are a teacher?

"Oh sorry darling, I wasn't sure if I could trust you so I lied about my name, my job and where I live."

Seriously, not all of us trawl through the sewers where we have to keep our identities secret.

[yellowboat]

Some of the most lonely people in Thailand are educated, intelligent and independent women. They are on university campuses and at professional gatherings. Go where the Hi-So's go as well as where those of thirst for knowledge.

[eldragon]

Many Hi-So girls will not "date" Farang guys, especially if they don't already speak English. So, the not knowing Thai language is not too big of a deal. If she doesn't speak English, she is too Thai-centered and would be embarrassed by her Hi-So Thai friends to be dating a Farang. The girls not worried about this, already know how to speak English.

I largely agree with your post, but I'm not sure I follow you about the English. Besides the fact that I've never known a hi-so Thai that didn't speak English pretty well, I've never seen it as an indicator of how interested they are in foreigners. To me, it's always seemed like something that would help them professionally, with meeting and socializing with foreigners as a secondary benefit.

[mikiea]

JHolmesJr, I think you've kind of hit the nail on the head. That's been my suspicion for a while.

Before I moved here I lived in Singapore where finding and dating attractive women was extremely easy, but perhaps I'm too nerdy for Thai women.

I assume the hi-so girls are less interested in the bad boy type; am I wrong on that?

something needs to be said about a man who wants other men to stop what they are doing and engage him in a conversation about himself ...good god , not even

Oprah would stoop to your fain needs as a wannabe player ...............................

Edited February 3, 2016 by mikiea

[NickJ]

Sounds like you wouldnt be good around women anywhere. If your whole life is here and doing well and you havent found a girl through friends or business or the gym then sounds pretty grim hanging out hope on what amounts to the modern day blind date.........

[eldragon]

Some of the most lonely people in Thailand are educated, intelligent and independent women. They are on university campuses and at professional gatherings. Go where the Hi-So's go as well as where those of thirst for knowledge.

Not just Thailand. Being intelligent means knowing how ignorant the masses are. Hence the expression "Ignorance is bliss."

[lostmebike]

Really?

A successful, young good-looking, white guy can't get a girl in Asia?

Where are you looking for ladies? Your balcony!?

Sorry to offer no advice but I just can't believe it. I'm 40, working, with a young family and I could probably have a load of other girls I meet too. I joke/mess around flirt with ladies all day and love it.

Get out and meet people. Single teachers, nurses, even doctors are available if you can be bothered to make the effort.

[fekman]

Try Ramkhamhaeng university, put up a few flyers for private English tutor.

you get paid 100 baht for 1 hour you find out what they are all about, eliminate the;

1. Fat (I don't think it's fair for me to date a fat girl when I work hard to not be fat, so that's out)

2. Speaks no English (I like having a conversation with a girl)

3. Is a total flake (will chat briefly, then disappear)

Then when you have met the right girl you ask her out.

If it worked for me it can work for you and this advice came for free and without any snark, sarcasm, or mockery

Let me know how you go, good luck fella!!

I'm glad your goal was pussy, and not actually teaching English, as your grammar is poor. Do you have a teaching degree? If so, did you skip the ethics portion of your studies?

[chilli42]

I was in the same boat as you when I first arrived in Thailand ... though I had a senior level job at an MNC.

Finding sex was, and continues to be, an easy and fun distraction. Finding a girlfriend was a different matter entirely and really more difficult than my home country. The only way that worked for me, and dozens of my expat freinds, was to be introduced to Thai girls through Thai freinds/acquaintances/associates. The majority of the Thai's that did the introductions were very "Western" in their outlook and most were educated overseas and held high paying jobs. Needless to say, they introduced me to girls who were similar in education and background. Some of the girls were full Thai and some were LK. If you plan to meet girls in clubs, bars etc the only ones that will be interested are the ones you don't want. Quality girls in Thailand simply don't respond well to total strangers approaching them. Much of the advice you have been given here will lead you to unsatifying relationships and the usual race to the bottom that many have joined.

You need to build a group of quality Thai freinds ... male and female. You expat freinds won't be much help as they will keep all the best ones for themselves. You need to get out to the obvious places to do this. The better clubs and bars, attend any and all social and quasi business functions you can ... Chamber of Commerce, sponsored events (Johnny Walker does some good ones), national day parties (all of the expat nationalities have one or two a year) etc. Getting out on the sleaze is fun but put more time into building a network of Thai freinds. Once you do this they will make the introductions for you and the rest will be up to you. Do also put some time into learning to speak Thai properly. Avoid, at all costs, learning bar girl Thai. This version of Thai stands out like dogs balls on a hot day. It speaks volumes about you and will kill any chance you might have had to meet a quality girl. If you already speak the bar girl/Esarn version of Thai, better to pretend to speak zero Thai until such time as you can speak some proper Thai.

The above is my experience. The approach worked for me like a charm. I have seen it work for many others - assuming you are of some means. Dated lots of great girls (and had fun with lots of fun/bad ones). Have been married to a Thsi girl for 18 years now. All of her freinds keep asking me to introduce them to Farang guys ... all are fed up with Thai men, so much do that a few have switched to same sex relationships. Not saying all Thai men are losers just that it's equally difficult for a quality Thai girl to meet her equivalent in Thailand.

I guess some people will bash me for being an elitist. I just know what I want and what is good for me. To each his own, I don't judge. I get what your problem is, I was there once. You just need a strategy and a plan and get on with it. Don't leave things to chance and don't aim low .... or you are likely to be successful.

BTW, the dating sites are like the insurance business. You make a 1,000 contacts, you get 100 referrals, you might get one policy sold. If you have the time for this, with the odds stacked against you, go ahead. I would just suggest you ask all the right questions and get very good at reading the motivations before spending to much time on this. If you have to mee them to figure this out then meet for a coffee during the day or right after work. Remember, you have to make a lot of cold calls to even get a probable.

[eldragon]

Office attire's usually a major giveaway but, hey, why don't you come down with one of those stupid farang attitudes and offer a couple of them a grand.

Interesting how you can tell occupation by attire. Some people have 2 jobs as well don't they? Anyway i will just see if i get another insulting reply for a simple inoffensive question.

OK well the next time I see a woman in a business suit with similarly dressed colleagues, I'll bear in mind that she could still be a hooker . . . and try to barfine her.

The word "colleague" here is crucial. Of course it's easy to meet a good Thai girl if you work in the same office as them.

This reminds me of a very ugly 29yr old guy I met who showed me pictures of his drop-dead gorgeous 18yr old girlfriend. How'd he meet her? She is a student at the school where he teaches English.

Anyway, the conclusion of this thread to me is rather clear: I don't get out enough.

Teaching English is a fairly easy way to meet women, but if you're doing it solely to meet women it's gonna feel predatory, especially if the students are still in university (and hopefully not in secondary). That being said, practicing English is a fairly harmless lead for suggesting a date with a girl you've recently met. In fact, I've known a few very attractive women that attempted to use me as a means of practicing their English.

Definitely gotta get out though. Focus on the things you enjoy doing though b/c chances are that's what the girl is gonna want to do next time you see her. If you meet a girl at a club, she's probably gonna want to go clubbing all the time. Also, work the friends. If you see a girl you like, talk to her friend first. Tell her you're interested and see if she's single. Saves a little embarrassment on both sides.

[humqdpf]

You need to get out more! You are not going to find a girlfriend if you just stay at home - that much is obvious.

Yes, you could be very lucky and find someone online but you would really have to be very lucky, as you have found out already.

Join something. If you like sport, join a club but select the club that has a social aspect, if possible. I find that tennis is more likely to put you in touch with middle class people, if that is what you want.

You need to learn some Thai language. Not learning Thai will show you are not really interested in the country. Join a Thai language class - you might even meet someone there!

You need to meet all kinds of people if you want to find a girlfriend - get in with a group of men and women. The word will go around that there is an eligible falang available and they might introduce you to someone.

If you are living in a town where there is little social activity, then head to Bangkok or some larger place for the weekend.

[fekman]

OP sounds a little "Elliot Roger-ish". Forget hi-so girls, they don't date foreigners. Same for most countries. They are cherry picked at a young age by local guys from good families. Not to mention the stigma that goes along with dating a foreigner.

Don't be a creeper and hang out at malls and coffee shops bothering cute girls. That's so 1995. Imagine you're a cute, young girl who has to fend off every creepy Moe who wants to chat them up. Not cool. You're asking for advise on TV, so you know the advice will be from many older men. The same people telling you to 'get out there and chat'em up', are the ones with AOL email accounts and voicemail.

Online dating is not weird for the younger generation. They grew up with it, and I think it's a godsend! Not only can filter girls to your needs, you don't have to wander the streets and put your balls on the chopping block in front of the public. Do you like getting shot down by a girl in public? Do you even like chatting one up in public for the first time with five people listening in on you?

Online, you can save the soul crushing rejection, and (usually) get answers to all the necessary questions fairly quickly. There are so many obstacles in real life that can be easily overcome online. Some are....

Is she single?

Does she have kids?

Does she live nearby?

Is she looking for romance?

Does she find me attractive?

Am I too young/old for her?

Does she want kids?

Does she speak English?

Is she a nasty lezbo?

Does she work? Where?

How old is she?

You said you're fit, handsome, well off financially etc. It's possible you're lacking in other areas such as confidence, humor etc. Water finds it's own level. It's the same in dating. Most shoot high and gradually work their way down until finding their level. The process can be painful for many people. Some never come down and find themselves continually frustrated or lonely. Many end with lots of cats. Good luck. Hang in there.

[impartialobserver]

I'm in your same situation. I don't agree you are too young. I'm 54 and in your same situation-hard to meet girls as we don't know the language. Several times walking through the malls I've gotten nice smiles from pretty girls, but even saying hi or asking some manufactured question about where the BTS station is, is hard.

Many people conclude that learning some of the language is very important. But usually the Thai girls I have met "want to practice their english." So I haven't learned much.

I've dated 5-6 very good girls in the year I have been in Thailand. All english speaking and met through the web sites. All of them were not "pros" very easy to meet them at their work etc. In one case one girl had worked at the same place for 13 years.

OP, if you find any good ideas in your travels, please post. I have many thoughts on this topic, as I have been at it for a while, pretty much full time as I am retired. But too much to post here. One interesting thread here, "what would you do different upon coming to Thailand" concluded that getting out of the farang areas was an idea. I may try that next. Move from Bkk to a smaller town.

I think the ideal situation would be to find a job/position, that allowed you to interact with many girls a day. But who knows.

I was going to post in reply to the OP, but I'll reply here as it might help you too.

I'm slightly older than the OP, but younger than you (Phaeton) and in a similar situation, or at least I was. I grew up in Hong Kong where dating attractive, well educated women with good jobs and from good families was easy.

When I moved to Bangkok 7 years ago I found it very hard to meet girls that met my criteria for a girlfriend and even fewer (read: none!) who would have been marriage material.

Thankfully that changed and I am in a committed relationship with an absolutely stunning, smart girl who's family are comfortably well off.

I took me 3 years of being single while I looked for the right type of girl though. I was lucky enough to be introduced to her by one of her friends.

So back to the OP and your problem (one which I'm sure a lot of guys face here)

There are masses of great girls out there and you don't need to speak Thai to meet them (a little helps of course) as many of them speak English well enough to have a conversation and like you said, they want to practice their English.

Your problem is you are not doing enough to meet them. You can only meet people if you get out to where they are and that means being a lot more social.

I would recommend you both check out meetup.com as there are numerous social groups where you can meet interesting professionals.

There is also regular Travel Industry event which is full of girls who work in hotels and speak good English - https://www.facebook.com/events/590877034275423/

The Pacific City Club in downtown Bangkok used to do a regular Sundowners social mixer, I've not been for a while but you should check that club out as see what they have going on http://www.pacificcityclub.com/

Here is a link to their social scene page - http://www.pacificcityclub.com/social_scenes.php

You just need to become more socially active and as your network grows so will the opportunities to meet or be introduced to hot girls.

Best of luck!

This is exactly what I needed and, given the quality of the forum, did not expect. Thank you; I owe you a beer.

[blazes]

A dating website will do the trick. Allows you to filter as to height, weight, education, kids/no kids, location, English capability.

Easy to filter saying you want a woman in Chiang Mai, 5'4", 100-120 lbs, BA or better, professional job, etc etc and so on.

Sometimes you will have to relent and let the ones with a kid be on your list, cos they have rejected their a$$hole of a Thai husband, and the kid is now 15-22, and well out of his/her mum's hair.

Not too difficult.