Thai Ex-husband (tosser)

[francois]

Who knows, one day you might wake up with the child calling you daddy and you finding some self respect.

and you will feel your eyes wet ...

such a happiness has no word to be described with

just be the father of your love's dearest one ...

be happy.

francois

[alleypanda]

It comes with the package you know. bare in mind you love the mother you have to love her child,too.

[chokrai]

When i married my wife her kids were 12 and 14,she had been divorced for about 7 years from her loser husband. he had never given her a dime for the kids,rarely saw them or phoned them except when he heard she was with a farang he phoned the son and told him to ask his mom what it was like f**king a farang.Phoned once and told them he was coming to pick them up for the weekend ,left them sitting on the porch never showed up.Never even phoned on their birthday. He is a teacher like my wife and still know some people in common and when he heard that i bought the son a motorbike he went out and bought the daughter one the next month. When i bought the daughter a cell phone he bought the son one. When i bought a computer for them he gave them 5000 baht. I guess he is afraid of losing face at his school and with his family. Very sad when face is more important then your kids. Of course his kids dont want anything to do with him and he has to put money in their bank account before they will go see him so he can take them to show off to his family what a great dad he is. SAD

[lambada]

Interesting, a Thai girlfriend was blown away when I insisted that the 2 kids and niece should come on holiday with us to the beach. Her deceased phalang husband had never invited them to go away with them. Not only was she blown away but the kids were so excited. I'm a solo dad with 2 grown up children that I brought up since they were 4 and 7, so it was no big deal but a 15 year old hugging me spontaneously and the look of amazement as they rode a horse for the first time or got dragged around behind a jet ski made the holiday so much more significant. Not to mention the endless happy photos. What was the cost. Probably $200 or 300 Oz extra and that included a niece and 2 20 something cousins. I estimated feeding 6 people cost me less than $15 to 20 Oz a meal. Christ I give my sons $100s to get through uni.

[sbk]

Just a couple of points in defense of Thai men who don't help ex-wives with their kids. First one, alot of these guys don't have enough money to help anyway. Like a previous poster said, "you can't get blood from a stone".

The second point; being a female I am privy to many interesting conversations with Thai women. Upon telling some woman that I don't have children because my husband doesn't want any I have been told, "Oh just stop taking your birth control and don't tell him, that's what I did". Also, many, many women where I live get married and within a year are either already pregnant or about to give birth. They do wait to get married but pop them out immediately, regardless of whether or not their husband's have the financial means to take care of a wife and child.

I am not saying this absolves them of their responsibilities but perhaps it might make some motivations a bit clearer.

[Bluecat]

Congratulations, George, IT, Dr PP,...Thaivisa got quite a few new nice guys posting,... (does not apply to you sbk, you're not a guy and you have ALWAYS been nice)

[davethailand]

Just to add my 10 bhts worth.

i married my girlfriend in december after 2 years she has a son 8 and a daughter 12, they have different thai fathers and they both had proper relationships with my wife.

the daughters dad does'nt give a toss and has'nt seen her since she was a baby. the boys father is almost the same as he's now with a rich women and also does'nt care although the her son still visits the fathers family. (my wife says he was a very good man, but too clingy and too protective with her so she left him), nasty cow.

the daughter has been transfered by my wife back to my her family name and she lives with us as i've enrolled her in quite a good school here in pattaya.

the son in a year or so will also be coming to stay with us after he finishes his present school.

we will also try to transfer him into her family name, (the reason for all this is so my wife and her 2 kids will be registered under our house in pattaya, and i will be their guardian or stepfather)

my wife was clear from the start that she takes care of her mum, dad and kids only, no one else and we're talking 6000 bht every month for everything, maybe i'm lucky as her mum and dad never asked for anything. oh sorry once when her dad was pissed and cut a tree down and it fell on the house, that cost me 1500bht big deal.

the point is i have a lovely wife, life and her kids are great too,

wheres the hardship in taking care of a couple of kids that are'nt mine.

they are worth every penny.

see ya

[KevinN]

I fully agree with most of the posts on this thread,and will tell my story.

I knew before hand that my Thai wife had 2 kids,a daughter 12and a son 21,so when we got together and she moved me from my house in CM to her home in Phetchabun,The son was riding a motorcycle that she had bought him the year before and made monthly pmnts. on as he said he needed it to find a job,he rode it everynite and slept all day,so I kicked his ass out and told him either leave the scoot or make the pmnts.he took it and his plunder and left.

The father had layed around the house drunk for 10 years while my wife taught school and bought the food and everything,he bought his booze.He pays nothing and had payed nothing for the 3 yrs they had been divorced.

I raise the daughter as my own,she has a nice room with nice furniture,TV which she will watch again after she can converse with me in English,as I consider it an advantage if she has to support her self as her mother did,a cell phone,any cloths or shoes she wants,40,000 baht for orthodontist to straighten her teeth,and when she is 15 and has a drivers license she gets a new Honda Dream.[blue with elect. start was the order]

I think that any man that takes on a woman with kids,should expect to treat the kids as his own as far as money for support and things a kid needs and fair treatment including but not limited to LOVE and any MAN that don't should have his Balls checked[to be sure he has any]. ###### sorry MAN that is so stingy as to deprive a child that should be under his roof.

[tuky]

everybody here must know my life better than i do !!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT LISTENING !!!!!!!!!!! i know all the details , knew them along , all about father ,but this doesnt make me responsible ,family understand my position and he is the ###### to them ,NOT ME <HE IS THE FATHER !!!!!!!! i know full well he doesnt give a shit ,that doesnt make me responsible and yes 9 times out of ten ,some farang guy will be paying for kids of some ###### ... I AM THE 1 IN 10 !!! as for giving me a kicking i am waiting for this piece of shit , and i am 10 years younger than him

It takes more balls to be the father of a child that is not yours.

Obviously being 10 years younger makes you too immature to realise this.

I pitty your wife/GF and her child. I hope she finds someone deserving soon.

[Padkapow Guy]

everybody here must know my life better than i do !!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT LISTENING !!!!!!!!!!! i know all the details , knew them along , all about father ,but this doesnt make me responsible ,family understand my position and he is the ###### to them ,NOT ME <HE IS THE FATHER !!!!!!!! i know full well he doesnt give a shit ,that doesnt make me responsible and yes 9 times out of ten ,some farang guy will be paying for kids of some ###### ... I AM THE 1 IN 10 !!! as for giving me a kicking i am waiting for this piece of shit , and i am 10 years younger than him

Possom

you are right he is the ######. Just be a bigger man and take care of the kid as if you were the father. I had a chance to take care of my(deceased) sister inlaw 8 year old boy but the Thai law would not permit it because his father is still alive. The father of the boy has seen his son once when he was first born and does not want anything to do with him. After my sister inlaw died and we started paper work to proceed with the adoption and thats when we had to contact the father to get his permission to adopt the boy. This scum bag thinks he hit the lottery because a farang wants to adopt he son. It does not look like we will be able to adopt the boy until the father dies.(light bulb on) Their are alot of crazy driver in Thailand!

You are presented with a chance to make your wife/Tg life alot better inturn which will make your life better.

chok dee

[anamore]

POSSUM,

what kind of man are you? So very selfish?You don't know what love is? what caring is? what compassion is?

You are not responsable for that child according to the law, but in your hearth how does it feel?

Children are helpless and in poor countries they are already out of luck at the moment they are born.

You never felt helpless in your life? never felt lonely? never felt like a burden?never had pain and nobody to confort you?never felt unwanted? If you did feel this things you should help others in time of distress. If you never felt this things life has been kind to you and it's time you do something for someone else.

If you can't give a little money to help that child, then you have nearly nothing at all.

Then what are you doing in Thailand?

Are you one of those lazy losers who just go there to live as long as possible with as little money as possible without doing anything.

You just want to profit from the country and this girl you are staying with?

Shame on you! Shame!

Thailand has to get rid of your kind of people as soon as possible.

Go back to where you came from to continue your life of selfishness!

Do you sometimes wonder why the world is in such a bad shape? Because we are the ones who make it, me,you. So don't complain about others but look also at yourself.

I hope you change your attitude for beter.

anamore

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Fair enough Possum, you want to end up full of holes that is your choice but it is very bad advice to give the original poster.

Taxexile has it exactly right, you are not fighting this one man but him, his brother, his cousin and his uncle. Ten years younger doesn't make any difference at all when you are at the receiving end of a bullet.

To the original poster, goodguy, this woman you married was looking for someone to help her take care of her child and you're it. If you are happy in the relationship and love her then the child is part and parcel of the marriage (as it would be in the west as well). You think the difference is there are no deadbeat dad's in the west? No, the difference is, more often than not, here the father doesn't have any money anyway. And the police and courts are not interested in helping a now single mother get what is her child's due. So, gauge your love for this woman, show that you really are a 'goodguy' and give this child the love he or she deserves. My father remarried when I was 3 and my step-mother raised me as her daughter, loved me and nurtured me and I have more love and respect for her than I ever would for my birth mother. As far as I am concerned there is a major difference to the person who gives birth to you and the person who is your parent.

An excellent post sbk. Old Possum isn't the exactly milk of human kindness it seems. The immediate family must be proud of him.

[Up2U]

My wife and I have a six-year-old daughter - I met my wife three years ago and married her two years ago.

I also have a thirty-three year old daughter from a previous marriage.

No way can I distiguish between the two girls age-for-age. Both learned to swim at five, ride a bike at six. Both full of life, happy, love me. I feel 27 years younger than my age because of this wonderful addition to my life - one that I did not know existed until my (now) wife was sure that I would not behave like an idiot and refuse to look after the kid. I'd miss her more than my wife now (but don't tell the wife )

[DWK]

Hey possum. if you care for this women step up to the plate and help her raise her child, The love you will receive in return will outway any monetary outlay.