What do Thai Women look most for in Western Men?

[rogeroc]

AS - The more you are challenged, the more you result to insults. It is not an intelligent approach.

[Agent Sumo]

AS - The more you are challenged, the more you result to insults. It is not an intelligent approach.

Well, you know what? I could easily regard stevemercer calling me a tosser to be an insult but I'm not a precious little wallflower, am I?

So instead of trying diversionary tactics to try to win the debate, why don't you just come back with reasoned, rational arguments?

[JAFO]

@ Rogeroc,Steve,

I want to be clear, I am honestly trying to understand this. I find it very interesting. I have been in Thailand on and off for over 11 years now and have been married almost 5. My wife and I have had numerous conversations on the vastly varying Thai culture beliefs and myths.

I am sitting here with my wife as I type thid and I read off your response Steve and she just looked at me like I posted to you with that Really? Look.

I read your specific note on money and gifts and she said Yes money at weddings. Yes money at Graduations,Yes money when a Monk joins the temple. Never for sex. It's embarrassing. She said what man would give a woman he is dating money for sex unless she is hired.

Anyway good luck with your beliefs and I do hope it let's you sleep better at night.

One last question, if you don't give the gal you had sex with any money, do you feel guilty?

[rogeroc]

JAFO - Ok lets take the sex out of it. Assume Western man meets Thai girl Online and they meet, they are not sexually attracted but they get on as friends and she effectively acts as a tour guide for him and this gives him pleasure and enjoyment. If the lady concerned has very limited means then I would definitely expect the Western guy to give her a gift. So i will throw the question back at you. In those circumstances would you give the lady a gift. If your answer is no i ask you why not, if your answer is yes, i ask you why your opinion differs between service as a tour guide and sexual service.

[NativeSon360]

They seem to like the doors it opens for em culturally, socially, etc. They also seem to like the way foreigners treat em. Mainly, we let em speak their mind.

I imagine the main turn off is the way we don't let things go easily and tend to hold people accountable to our standard of truth.

There is no such thing as "our (western) standard of truth". Truthfulness is a universal virtue, closely aligned with possessing a sense of honor; both of which are heavily proselytized in Buddhist faith "teachings".

What do Thai Women look most for in Western Men? The answer is simple:

"The intelligence equivalency level of the male (Niagara Falls) buffalo, who brings the promise of a hefty "joint" bank account to the table, together with total relationship domination authority in her hands = liberation (at last) for the Thai woman.

Note: Any farang believing otherwise (sigh), is living in a Dream World.

[rogeroc]

Sorry, to answer you last question, i have been in that situation and not paid and did in fact feel very guilty because she gave me a lot of pleasure with her company and, as i kept in contact with her, i realised she was really struggling to bring up her 2 kids. For me this is nothing to do with age difference, whether i pay or not will depend very much on my perceived needs of the lady concerned. And yes there are occasions where i have not paid and not felt any guilt as well, it is all about the individual circumstances, and as i keep going back to the vast difference in earning potential and living standards.

[NativeSon360]

Sorry, to answer you last question, i have been in that situation and not paid and did in fact feel very guilty because she gave me a lot of pleasure with her company and, as i kept in contact with her, i realised she was really struggling to bring up her 2 kids. For me this is nothing to do with age difference, whether i pay or not will depend very much on my perceived needs of the lady concerned. And yes there are occasions where i have not paid and not felt any guilt as well, it is all about the individual circumstances, and as i keep going back to the vast difference in earning potential and living standards.

I just have difficulty fathoming the reason why so many western menfolk (from everywhere) feel the need to "save" Thai women, from the terrible circumstances that they (the Thai gf) willfully chose to create with some dead-beat Thai guy, prior to ever meeting that farang. Struggling to bring-up her two kids, is her responsibility to deal with, together with the father(s) of her children.

Would you have given the same "bleeding-heart" consideration to a western woman, struggling to raise some other man's children? A woman who also gave you a lot of pleasure with her company? Now, don't come back telling me that you can't find those nurturing female traits in a western woman, cause I know better than that. Ok? Now answer the question "why do you feel the need?"

[NativeSon360]

Sorry, to answer you last question, i have been in that situation and not paid and did in fact feel very guilty because she gave me a lot of pleasure with her company and, as i kept in contact with her, i realised she was really struggling to bring up her 2 kids. For me this is nothing to do with age difference, whether i pay or not will depend very much on my perceived needs of the lady concerned. And yes there are occasions where i have not paid and not felt any guilt as well, it is all about the individual circumstances, and as i keep going back to the vast difference in earning potential and living standards.

I just have difficulty fathoming the reason why so many western menfolk (from everywhere) feel the need to "save" Thai women, from the terrible circumstances that they (the Thai gf) willfully chose to create with some dead-beat Thai guy, prior to ever meeting that farang. Struggling to bring-up her two kids, is her responsibility to deal with, together with the father(s) of her children.

Would you have given the same "bleeding-heart" consideration to a western woman, struggling to raise some other man's children? A woman who also gave you a lot of pleasure with her company? Now, don't come back telling me that you can't find those nurturing female traits in a western woman, cause I know better than that. Ok? Now answer the question "why do you feel the need?"

Remember, there are no "starving" people anywhere in SE Asia. Thai women already have the meat & potatoes, when they first meet the farang.. The only thing the farang provides is the gravy. That's all!

[JAFO]

JAFO - Ok lets take the sex out of it. Assume Western man meets Thai girl Online and they meet, they are not sexually attracted but they get on as friends and she effectively acts as a tour guide for him and this gives him pleasure and enjoyment. If the lady concerned has very limited means then I would definitely expect the Western guy to give her a gift. So i will throw the question back at you. In those circumstances would you give the lady a gift. If your answer is no i ask you why not, if your answer is yes, i ask you why your opinion differs between service as a tour guide and sexual service.

Tour Guide? Service? I think maybe I understand this better now. I have never looked at a gal I dated as a tour guide. LOL. If we went somewhere she was my date. And no I would not feel compelled to buy her gifts or give her money. I would likely pay for lunch or dinner and the hotel we stayed in but I would do that with any gal I dated from any country. After our weekend or trip was over I would go back to work like she would. Of course maybe the difference is my dates are employed with no children.

To NativeSons point, sounds like many here are dating young gals with no job and children from a Thai guy. The Foreigner to the rescue program. It's this behavior that keeps the perception we are all just dollar signs to them. Why should they think any different.

[JAFO]

Sorry, to answer you last question, i have been in that situation and not paid and did in fact feel very guilty because she gave me a lot of pleasure with her company and, as i kept in contact with her, i realised she was really struggling to bring up her 2 kids. For me this is nothing to do with age difference, whether i pay or not will depend very much on my perceived needs of the lady concerned. And yes there are occasions where i have not paid and not felt any guilt as well, it is all about the individual circumstances, and as i keep going back to the vast difference in earning potential and living standards.

I just have difficulty fathoming the reason why so many western menfolk (from everywhere) feel the need to "save" Thai women, from the terrible circumstances that they (the Thai gf) willfully chose to create with some dead-beat Thai guy, prior to ever meeting that farang. Struggling to bring-up her two kids, is her responsibility to deal with, together with the father(s) of her children.

Would you have given the same "bleeding-heart" consideration to a western woman, struggling to raise some other man's children? A woman who also gave you a lot of pleasure with her company? Now, don't come back telling me that you can't find those nurturing female traits in a western woman, cause I know better than that. Ok? Now answer the question "why do you feel the need?"

Remember, there are no "starving" people anywhere in SE Asia. Thai women already have the meat & potatoes, when they first meet the farang.. The only thing the farang provides is the gravy. That's all!

I agree with you NativeSon. Again I am not bashing Rogeroc nor Steve but it appears they feel obligated to give a girl money for anything and everything they do for them and I just do not get it. They also feel this "Save" them emotion because they have less earning power and feel bad for them.

I now completely understand why so many foreigner men get scammed here. They feel this guilt and just start shoveling out money because they feel like the gal they met is poor and living without. Soon this gal knows how to play the man.

IMHO I think this completely depends on the women(girls) foreigners meet, where and how they meet them and where they live. Its a product of their environment. My now wife was doing quite well in BKK in the medical field. She would have been fine with or without me. We met by accident at a night market and it was of course physical attraction at the outset, as all relationships are. Then it just grew. But during our dating I never ever gave her money or specific gifts tied to something she did for me. In fact early on she helped me on a few things as moved to a new condo and she took care of all the move activities but I didn't kick her money for it, I "Thanked" her for her help as you should. Now during our dating as a gentlemen I paid for things while we were out but she did the same for me. Many times she paid for the dinner.

[Fabricus]

I now completely understand why so many foreigner men get scammed here. They feel this guilt and just start shoveling out money because they feel like the gal they met is poor and living without. Soon this gal knows how to play the man.

One of the very best comments ever written on this forum came from a lonely old man who'd been cleaned out by a hooker. The poor man was desperately upset.

He wrote

I only wanted to rescue her

[JAFO]

I now completely understand why so many foreigner men get scammed here. They feel this guilt and just start shoveling out money because they feel like the gal they met is poor and living without. Soon this gal knows how to play the man.

One of the very best comments ever written on this forum came from a lonely old man who'd been cleaned out by a hooker. The poor man was desperately upset.

He wrote

I only wanted to rescue her

Sadly Fabricus that holds a ton of truth for most who get torched. I have met a few in my travels and it makes you wonder how it happened. But reading some folks posts in this thread alone it's quite clear to me now.

I bet at first it starts off simple like Steve does. Then it just spirals out of control without them really knowing it's happening. Then soon they are flat broke and out on their own.

There is an Australian guy I see at my Condo. He lives in a small shack behind it. Took him a month to finally speak to me in passing. Nice enough fella. Clearly broke as he digs through the trash for plastic bottles etc. According to my wife who asked the property manager he built a house with his GF and when done and he was out of money she moved on and made him move out. I have empathy for him but little sympathy. Many men here seem to have left their common sense at the Airport.

[Agent Sumo]

JAFO - Ok lets take the sex out of it. Assume Western man meets Thai girl Online and they meet, they are not sexually attracted but they get on as friends and she effectively acts as a tour guide for him and this gives him pleasure and enjoyment. If the lady concerned has very limited means then I would definitely expect the Western guy to give her a gift. So i will throw the question back at you. In those circumstances would you give the lady a gift. If your answer is no i ask you why not, if your answer is yes, i ask you why your opinion differs between service as a tour guide and sexual service.

Tour Guide? Service? I think maybe I understand this better now. I have never looked at a gal I dated as a tour guide. LOL. If we went somewhere she was my date. And no I would not feel compelled to buy her gifts or give her money. I would likely pay for lunch or dinner and the hotel we stayed in but I would do that with any gal I dated from any country. After our weekend or trip was over I would go back to work like she would. Of course maybe the difference is my dates are employed with no children.

To NativeSons point, sounds like many here are dating young gals with no job and children from a Thai guy. The Foreigner to the rescue program. It's this behavior that keeps the perception we are all just dollar signs to them. Why should they think any different.

Honestly, I don't know why you bother, JAFO

Some guys here simply have no experience dating or scoring with women back in the West.

These guys were the poor sods who'd spend a load of money buying drinks and meals for a date only for her to see out the night being nailed to a headboard by some other guy with charm and a little game - free of charge

The typical Western love clutz/sex-starved divorcé is in Thailand because the women that are readily available to him appear to be refreshingly straightforward in terms of what they want in return for a physical relationship.

All these men need is the ability to fund a regular stipend and that's it - happy days

They get into the habit of looking at a woman as a service provider and can't understand why other men aren't paying too.

[YeahSiam]

Jafo, I appreciate you are trying to be reasonable. Thailand is a transactional society and everything is done on an understanding of mutual trust and payback (e.g. you scratch my back and I will scratch your back some time when you need help). But at the end of it all, money is mutually acceptable as a gift of payback. Why do Thai people most often give a gift of money at weddings, funerals and other celebrations? How often has a Thai looked at you blankly when you give them a gift of some token you brought overseas? You quickly learn to give money because it is valued by everyone.

Farang do not sit comfortably in the hierarchy of Thai society and we can get away with many things that a Thai man could not. For example, you can openly flirt and even kiss a married Thai woman of 45 at a wedding, and laugh it off. A Thai man cannot do anything so lightly. If you choose to sleep with a Thai lady (and not as a potential girlfriend or wife, which is different), you have an obligation to her under Thai culture. Thai men often have a bad reputation because they do not accept this responsibility, Many Thai ladies, rightly or wrongly, believe that westerners are more accommodating and less likely to leave them with nothing. Of course, they enjoy the sex and say they don't want anything (sometimes even offering you money), but Thai women often just say what they think you want to hear.

A gentleman does not boast about his sexual conquests. If he is confident in his sexual ability he has no need. In Thai society, woman do not take offense if you give them a gift of money. In Thai culture this is acceptable in meeting the mutual obligation you owe her. They will put the money to good use. Her friends will admire her when she gossips to them about her affair with a farang. They will also want to know what the man gave her in exchange. If she says 'nothing' they will think she a stupid girl and she will loose face. So normally she will have to make something up.

I stress that I am just talking about a physical relationship. Not serious dating where the rules are different. But then we start getting into arguments about sin sod etc.

Being cleaned out in

Thailand is just

preordained for some

guys. Unremarkable

Western men in their

60s and possessed

of a desire to be liked

and seen as generous

are just asking for it

here.

[rogeroc]

Well not a single one of the assumptions in the last 6 Posts fits me whatsoever. You are not listening to what is being said.

[Stevemercer]

Back on the topic ‘What do Thai woman look for in western men’, I am genuinely confused when people say this is how they behave with women in London/wherever and why should it be any different in Thailand? That is justification of a personal attitude and nothing to do with Thai culture. So why not go back to London if the woman are the same all over? Or are Thai women different in some way?

[Agent Sumo]

Back on the topic ‘What do Thai woman look for in western men’, I am genuinely confused when people say this is how they behave with women in London/wherever and why should it be any different in Thailand? That is justification of a personal attitude and nothing to do with Thai culture. So why not go back to London if the woman are the same all over? Or are Thai women different in some way?

Culture's got nothing to do with this. Women are women are women

I'd imagine that if you scraped around with cash-strapped women with kids by absent fathers in your own country, you'd end up paying there too

I never hung out with women like that in London and I don't do it here.

I suspect you're either specifically targeting low-rent birds in the village or pursuing women with financial imperatives using online dating sites.

I'm in downtown Bangkok meeting normal, self-sufficient, conventionally-employed Thai women face-to-face

We're not fishing in the same waters, mate

[bamukloy]

If you have to ask this question you shouldnt be here <period>

but anyways, just to humour you.

my 1 to 10

1. Money

2. Somewhat stupid.

3. The whiter shade of white

4. No kids or inheritors

5. Money

6. Money

7. Money

8. Money

9. Money

10. $tupid

[JAFO]

Back on the topic ‘What do Thai woman look for in western men’, I am genuinely confused when people say this is how they behave with women in London/wherever and why should it be any different in Thailand? That is justification of a personal attitude and nothing to do with Thai culture. So why not go back to London if the woman are the same all over? Or are Thai women different in some way?

Steve,

I behave the same here as I did back in the states but I didn't come here for women and cheap beer and I sure do not feel pity for the locals. I am here for work but I am very respectful and do understand the cultural boundaries. Yes there are cultural differences that I have adapted to but I think it depends on how much Kool Aid you want to drink. If you dated in the west then try it here. You would be surprised. Teach her about your custom's don't just shell out pity money. I still struggle to understand why men come here and immediately feel they need to be so totally different. As I mentioned before, all women in every country look for a responsible, nice spouse that can offer security both emotionally and financially. Its really simple. The problem that is ever so present here is, that many Thai women through years of watching and being passed on information to each other see foreigners as a mark and most foreigners are divorcee's that are either on the rebound or lonely and become simply googly eyed when some young girl plays like she is interested in him. Then this guy feels guilty and starts with the hand outs(you included). Next up is the buffalo and the house improvement. If you stop dating what do you think her next course of action is???. Yep go back on the numerous dating sights looking for the next foreigner to get handout from because the expectation is set.

I will say this again, It all depends on the company you keep, where you meet them, their age, where they or you live. Sure some village girl would love to find a meal ticket out of her situation and send money back to Mom and Dad. To her its all about the money and she will take one for the family. Sad in many regards but not my life choice. On the flip-side meet a woman in BKK that is degree'd, professional with some street smarts its entirely different situation and relationship. Many of the women that work for me make 75k to 95k baht a month. That's more then many foreigners receive from their pension. They do not want your hand outs. They live in a nice condo, drive a nice car, dress well and have expectations. However with that said I get it, some men do not want that challenge or be intimidated. They want a village girl that requires some handouts for services they provide whether it be a tour guide, helping them get food, showing them around or some time in the sack. To meet the other type takes effort and a personality and likely some looks. Can't dress in cargo shorts, cheap flip flops and a Chang beer tank top. .

[rogeroc]

Many of the women that work for me make 75k to 95k baht a month.

So you manage a Gogo bar then ?

[Agent Sumo]

Many of the women that work for me make 75k to 95k baht a month.

So you manage a Gogo bar then ?

You see? This is the attitude of the typical Western male here.

In their eyes, Thai women simply can't earn well in anything but the sex industry hence, every specimen only has 1/8th the earning potential of the white knight

JAFO, I think these men are a lost cause.

They'd be far too intimidated to approach a self-sufficient, professional Thai woman because the fact that she wouldn't require "saving" financially nullifies what they think is their most attractive attribute - the ability to compensate

[JAFO]

Many of the women that work for me make 75k to 95k baht a month.

So you manage a Gogo bar then ?

I work for a very large US manufacturing company that has operations here in Thailand. What little some foreigners know. They think everything is Bars and Girls.

[JAFO]

Many of the women that work for me make 75k to 95k baht a month.

So you manage a Gogo bar then ?

You see? This is the attitude of the typical Western male here.

In their eyes, Thai women simply can't earn well in anything but the sex industry hence, every specimen only has 1/8th the earning potential of the white knight

JAFO, I think these men are a lost cause.

They'd be far too intimidated to approach a self-sufficient, professional Thai woman because the fact that she wouldn't require "saving" financially nullifies what they think is their most attractive attribute - the ability to compensate

Agent Sumo, I think your right. This will be my last post in this thread. I tried, I really did, spent way more time trying to show another side of life here and that there is no difference in what women want whether western or Thai. I guess they only want the young girls that need saving. Some how they feel better dwindling their savings away on some gal that likely doesn't even understand what the guy is telling them. But make no mistake, they understand 1,000 baht paper handed to them. Then comes the big puppy smile and the foreigner guy has this warm feeling that he is her knight in shining armor......for now.

Thanks for the fun in this thread. I did enjoy it for what it was worth.

[bamukloy]

Many of the women that work for me make 75k to 95k baht a month.

So you manage a Gogo bar then ?

I work for a very large US manufacturing company that has operations here in Thailand. What little some foreigners know. They think everything is Bars and Girls.

I find that very hard to believe. What is a Thai female doing to get that much?

If they are willing to pay that much the

[rogeroc]

What a predictable reaction from both of you!! Did you ever consider it may be 'tongue in cheek'

[Stevemercer]

OK, so do other people believe that there is no difference at all between western and Thai women and therefore what works in the west also works in Thailand?

[Agent Sumo]

OK, so do other people believe that there is no difference at all between western and Thai women and therefore what works in the west also works in Thailand?

I guess some people just can't or won't get it

For the umpteeth time, it depends on the kind of women you're engaging with.

Independent, self-sufficient women are very much alike wherever in the world you happen to be.

If a man's only dating/shagging deadbeats then, no matter where in the world he is, he'll likely feel obliged to dig into his pocket.

Get out of the village and see for yourself

[Stevemercer]

Thanks for the advice. Been there and done that. After a few hundred city girls you might want to try country living. Anyway, best wishes and good luck.

[balo]

I have just been told they look for fat farangs. Fat means being wealthy in Asian culture , if you're skinny it means your poor who can't eat properly .

So if you visit McD daily you might get there and be appreciated by all the Thai ladies .

[Agent Sumo]

I have just been told they look for fat farangs. Fat means being wealthy in Asian culture , if you're skinny it means your poor who can't eat properly .

So if you visit McD daily you might get there and be appreciated by all the Thai ladies .

I'm guessing you're fat and were told exactly what they thought you wanted to hear

Thais might not be the best educated people but they're exposed to enough of our culture to know that their criteria for estimating social standing among their own people doesn't apply to Westerners

Try to stop regurgitating crap you read on here and think for yourself - it's liberating