A tale of tyres, sanitary napkins, and payback.

[Gsxrnz]

Some time ago I packed the missus off to get two new tyres for my Vigo. The rears needed replacing.

I gave her instructions to have the front wheels rotated to the rear opposite sides, fit the two new tyres on the front, and have the best of the old rear tyres fitted as the spare because the spare was an odd brand and the old rear tyres were the same brand with a bit better tread.

I went through a huge pantomine of point and shoot so she understood. She even took notes. It seemed a simple task, but yeah I'm guilty of not going myself because it was my golf day.

Anyway, she returns. I should have known better. No rotation had occurred, the two new tyres were on the rear, and the spare hadn't been changed. The two old casings were in the deck.

I went off my face a bit, and her explanation was that she told "the man" what to do and went shopping while the work was done. On her return she paid the bill and drove home, assuming all was good.

I told her it was pretty <deleted> obvious it was all wrong and now I'll have to get it fixed myself. It was a bit of a drama and she wasn't happy about my attitude.

Weeks later I was at Tesco and she calls me up. "Honey, are you still at Tesco? Oh good, my time of month here and i not have pads - you get some for me please?" And she then goes into an explanation of which aisle to go to and what the packet looks like and the brand blah blah.

I thought maybe I should take some photos and send to her to double check I was on the right track. Check the phone, it turns on briefly and then dies - totally dead battery.

How hard can it be to buy sanitary napkins?

As it turns out, more difficult than it seems. I found the right section and I had a vague idea of what the packaging looked like, but man it was all very confusing and as I can't read Thai, they all looked the same.

Bright idea - ask one of the numerous girls that work in Tesco. I did this and the girl hands me a small packet which looked familiar, so I took two and off home.

Upon arrival I present the packets to my wife who throws one at me with a string of abuse. Apparently I'd purchased two small packs of hand tissues - the brand that she does carry around in her bag which explains why they looked familiar. I explained that I'd asked the sales girl but didn't know the Thai words for sanitary napkins, so I used the word tissues instead and explained time of month - something got lost in translation.

She then she does the "it's pretty <deleted> obvious" payback line at me and does a parody of me slinging off at her over the tyres.

Then she laughs and high fives her cousin who was also there. I'd been set up. It was the cousin's idea (yeah right). I suspect she'd been dreaming up a way to pay me back for weeks.

To make it worse, they both take photos and put the whole thing on their facebook pages.

Two lessons learned. Get your own tyres changed and NEVER admit to being in Tesco.

Anybody got any similar stories of errands gone astray or payback from your Thai S.O?

[manfredtillmann]

nice story, thanks for sharing with us.

as for your vigo's tyres, at least you ended up half good. unlike popular belief one should always have the best tyres on the rear, no matter if front wheel drive or rear wheel drive.

the rear wheels are most likely to brake out in extreme situations. and while things just go 'straight' when your front wheels loose traction just about anything can happen when the 'rears' let go.

as for your girl's red week fanny rags... they never use the same from start to finish. you just have to pay attention or pinch one of each for future reference.

cheers

[Gsxrnz]

nice story, thanks for sharing with us.

as for your vigo's tyres, at least you ended up half good. unlike popular belief one should always have the best tyres on the rear, no matter if front wheel drive or rear wheel drive.

the rear wheels are most likely to brake out in extreme situations. and while things just go 'straight' when your front wheels loose traction just about anything can happen when the 'rears' let go.

as for your girl's red week fanny rags... they never use the same from start to finish. you just have to pay attention or pinch one of each for future reference.

cheers

Re the tyres - assuming all the tyres have good tread, I always put the newest on the front to balance out the wear over the tyres lifetime. Doing it the way i do it means the tyres last overall longer. The fronts will always wear out faster than the rear, so rotating them means their lifetime is longer.

But as i say, the tread must be good at all four corners for safety.

[SoiBiker]

Sounds like the tyre guy did you a favour by ignoring your instructions and doing the job properly, and your wife learned you can't be relied upon to perform a simple task.

[sipi]

We were at Big C when the wife and her sister asked me to buy some aaa batteries. Knowing I am quite shy they just stood side by side waiting for me as I walked up and down every aisle refusing to ask anyone. After I had walked the aisles at least twice I went back and told them I can't find them and don't want to ask anyone. So they just parted and the batteries were behind them.

They were trying me out.

[1BADDAT]

You really left your missus to have tires changed on a truck?

[Gsxrnz]

You really left your missus to have tires changed on a truck?

I had a choice of an unexpected invitation for a round of golf, or change the tyres (for which a booking had been made).

Turning down a round of golf is a bit like turning down sex, it's one you can never get back again, doesn't matter how long you live.

And somehow I doubt I'll be quoted on my death bed as saying "I wish I'd spent more time changing my tyres".

So yeah, golf over changing the freaking tyres and leave the wife to cock it up - you betcha!

[SoiBiker]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, our vehicle stuff is our stuff..........NOT a bird's stuff......

You know they let women drive too these days, right?

[Gsxrnz]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, our vehicle stuff is our stuff..........NOT a bird's stuff......

Not a golfer then Trans?

[Gsxrnz]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, our vehicle stuff is our stuff..........NOT a bird's stuff......

Not a golfer then Trans?

Nooooooooo, snooker is more my thing....Same but different...

Not so different really. I can use 22 balls in a round of golf.

[Gsxrnz]

But the PLUS with my game is a bird continually tops up my beer and puts her hand in the pocket to retrieve my balls,,

Surprising similarities once again.

My caddy puts her hand in my trouser pocket to retrieve my balls when i've got a beer in one hand and a cigarette and golf club in the other.

She also applies sunscreen to my face, arms and legs so I don't get greasy hands, and gives me a shoulder massage before I tee off and a sympathy hug when I go OB.

And then she cleans my shoes and balls afterwards.

Accommodating girls these Thai caddies.

[Rob8891]

Golf could well be better than sex....there are 18 holes. Then again, you could just do the front 9...

[stoneyboy]

Paa Naa Mai = Sanitary napkin.

Easy one to remember.

Tampons are easier still because like some forum members they are stuck up ..............

[laolover88]

Nice!

I have a question that has vexed me for 50 years.

Women have periods. Why do they NEVER have ผ้าอนามัยแบบสอด sanitary pads when they have 20 bottles of Neutrogena and Nivea whitening and cleansing fluids? Denial? Please someone enlighten!

[Gsxrnz]

Paa Naa Mai = Sanitary napkin.

Easy one to remember.

Tampons are easier still because like some forum members they are stuck up ..............

Thanks for that - yeah I've since learned the word but don't expect to be able to use it too often.

Re the tampons, I've never once come across a Thai girl that uses them. Closest was a gogo girl that appeared to have the string hanging down her leg but on pointing it out to her it turns out to just be a long oversow thread from her rather alluring white lingerie outfit.

Cost me a drink though.

[colinneil]

OP you were lucky. My wife got a puncture on her way to work.

She kept on driving about 3 kilometers to school.

Then asked the janitor to change the wheel, so far all good.

Saturday comes darling you need to go and get a new tyre, as the punctured 1 was destroyed.

When she arrived home i shouted what the f.... The car had 4 new tyres, not 1 for the spare.

The old tyres had only done around 12000 kilometers, but darling the man said you need new tyres around the car.

Never send a woman to fix a tyre, it costs too much.

[nikmar]

When i first met my lady i was still new to Thailand and enjoying the adventure. I had to go out and my missis asked me to get "anything i like" for lunch and bring it home.

I went to the local market and didnt have a clue, so just pointed at things that looked good.

i bought some clear soupy stuff and sticky rice. The missis wasnt angry but just found it hilarious that i picked this combination.

She phoned her Mum and several friends all with the catchphrase "farang mai loo liang"

She still laughs about it 11 years later. Except now it just irritates me, surely not that funny.

[sipi]

This story goes the other way.

We live a thousand miles from nowhere by corrugated dirt road (the way I like it). On the day of my 50th birthday some years ago my wife excused herself and took off with her sister on her motorbike.

About three hours later she reappeared with an iced chocolate cake with candles, a cold carton of Chang with the bottom out of the carton, two cold Heineken and a warm pizza.

To this day I still don't know how she did it.

[cgphuket]

Sounds like you could spend less time playing golf and more time learning to speak your wife's language. Of course, that will never happen.

[RolandRat]

I remember the first time I saw a full sized snooker table, I wanted to know where the clubs were! Seemed enormous after a pool table.

Admiration for those that can, as for Golf, a good walk spoiled, as I believe someone famous once said.

Too damn hot for me to be out in this heat chasing a ball, like the caddie idea though, that and an electric buggy with shade and might be tempted to try it.