Some advice

[bargearse]

Just looking for a bit of advice, perhaps someone has had a similar experience.

Been married to a Thai woman since 2012, but we have been together since 2009.

I have no property or assets in Thailand. We have no children.

I live and work in Australia, she lives and works in Thailand (Thai massage).

Our relationship has basically been a long distance one, although I have been traveling to Thailand 2-3 times a year to spend time with her and she has been to Australia 4 times. We had some good, interesting times, so not bitter.

During a recent trip to Thailand in March, I had a feeling something wasn't right between us.

When I got back to Australia, she ignored my ringing her, then after a couple of days she sent through a text saying she had been in hospital for a few days and was demanding that I send 30000 baht, I was skeptical and asked her to email me the bill or a photo of her in the hospital bed, but instead I got a text containing a tirade of abuse about not caring etc.

Then a few days later I received another text saying she was going to Malaysia to work as I didn't care about her etc. Her telling me she was going to Malaysia struck me as quite odd, as her and her sister have a few dogs and I couldn't of imagined her leaving them to go work in Malaysia, also she is 42.

So I got curious about this and did some digging on facebook, not really expecting to find anything, but short of hiring a private detective, couldn't think of any other avenue. (I'm not a facebook user, but created an account under an alias and didn't think my wife was on it either, but turns out she is)

Anyway to get to the heart of this, she has been knocking about with an Australian guy, traveling around Thailand and he has been plastering the photos all over facebook. They have been seeing each other since October 2015 and thanks to geo-tagging on the photos I know the dates and locations of where they have been. Also the stuff about being in hospital and going to Malaysia turned out to be lies, as thanks to facebook, one of the days she said she had been in hospital, she had been at a temple in Bangkok with this guy and the day she said she was going to Malaysia, she was in fact going to Surin, again with her new guy (Why people plaster their lives on facebook, I'll never understand)

Naturally I want to divorce her and would like to know if photos of her and her new man, obtained from facebook would be enough evidence to prove adultery (bad behavior?) and I understand that i could sue both him and her for adultery, but is it worth it in terms of cost/effort?

Personally, I would like to just get an uncontested divorced, but my wife won't answer my phone or respond to a message I sent to her via facebook, so I really have no way of contacting her. Is it worth discussing this with a lawyer to get on to her and threaten them both with legal action if she doesn't agree to an uncontested divorce?

Our relationship is over and I just want to move on in life (plenty of other women, but I won't be marrying again, lesson learnt) and have no loose ends; also just at the back off my mind if she is knocking about with an Australian guy, there's a chance she could end up on my shores and file for a divorce against me down the track, if I just ignored this.

Thanks for any advice

[blackcab]

I understand your wish for divorce, but tread lightly. Are you aware your wife can attempt to get a judgement against you in Australia?

Before you do anything, get a plan. Secure as many of your assets as possible. Leave it over 1 year, then hire a Thai lawyer to divorce her for abandonment. If it's done correctly she won't even know. Once you get the judgement you can go to the district office and get divorced without her being present.

Your wife will only find out when she has reason to visit the district office and ask them directly or it gets mentioned.

Just don't act in haste.

[bargearse]

I'm aware she can attempt to come at me in Australia, but given we have never lived together, either in Australia or Thailand, I'm not sure what she would actually get if she came at me in Australia. The laws as I understand it here factor what each has contributed to the marriage. For her that would be 0. Also we have been married less than 4 years with no children, so I won't lose that much. Assets that I owned prior to getting married are all documented.

As far as I understand, under Thai law I have the grounds to dissolve the marriage for adultery, but again, as we have never lived together, I can claim that we have been separated for the whole time and get it dissolved on those grounds too.

So if I go the adultery path, I'm sure it would be a loss of face, she may not even turn up. I would rather end this sooner than later.

[rodcourt49]

I'm aware she can attempt to come at me in Australia, but given we have never lived together, either in Australia or Thailand, I'm not sure what she would actually get if she came at me in Australia. The laws as I understand it here factor what each has contributed to the marriage. For her that would be 0. Also we have been married less than 4 years with no children, so I won't lose that much. Assets that I owned prior to getting married are all documented.

As far as I understand, under Thai law I have the grounds to dissolve the marriage for adultery, but again, as we have never lived together, I can claim that we have been separated for the whole time and get it dissolved on those grounds too.

So if I go the adultery path, I'm sure it would be a loss of face, she may not even turn up. I would rather end this sooner than later.

..I feel for you mate...hope it all works out.

[bwpage3]

Another sad ending, however, the expectation of her running off because you were not living together should have been expected.

Lessons learned, time to move on.

[johnatong]

Divorce by mutual consent is easily obtained in Thailand with a quick visit to the Amphur.

You will need to establish what amount of cash will induce the lady to agree.

[Toknarok]

I wonder if the other Aussie bloke knows that your wife is still married to you? He might run a mile should he learn the truth and he could be liable for damages for committing adultery. Sorry to hear about your situation, but on the other hand thank your lucky stars there are no kids or properties involved.

[Patsycat]

It's amazing in this day and age that people can be so naive about Facebook.

I like it, i keep in contact with friends from all over. But i would never put anything too personal on there. Or if i did i would only show certain people.

My guess is the other guy has no idea that your wife is still married. She may have told a little white lie. I wouldn't be too hard on him, if that is the case.

[bargearse]

It's amazing in this day and age that people can be so naive about Facebook.

I like it, i keep in contact with friends from all over. But i would never put anything too personal on there. Or if i did i would only show certain people.

My guess is the other guy has no idea that your wife is still married. She may have told a little white lie. I wouldn't be too hard on him, if that is the case.

I'm quite certain he knew, my wife took my surname when we married and her facebook account was created using my surname. Also from the information I gathered he was seeing her prior to when I went to Thailand in March, she then spent time with me and as soon as I left she was back with him. So if I receive advice that I can sue for damages, I most certainly will be.

But yeah, facebook boggled my mind how easy it was to gather information and photos and he just had all his photos, (which are geo-tagged and dated) and status updates viewable by anyone, I didn't even need to bother requesting to be his friend.

[Patsycat]

Good luck anyway. Sorry i saw it another way.

[Muzarella]

My advice. before doing anything about, like confronting her or talking about divorce, ask a lawyer in your country about her rights on your assets.

Without a marriage agreement, she may try to get something of what you do have in Australia. Happens with an Aussie friend of mine.

[seedy]

Post with link and Nonsense post Removed

[bargearse]

Well, I got an uncontested divorce recently with my now ex-wife at the district office.

Had great help from a person recommended to me from someone on this site, so thank-you very much.

Lesson learnt, won't be marrying again. Had a lawyer negotiate with my ex and she agreed to a sum of money and all things considered, got out quite lightly.