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Reverse culture shock tips if you haven't lived in the U.S. for a really long time


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EVERYONE is hiring now in the States...

Yes I've heard it's picking up but a person like me would be the bottom of the barrel ... just being realistic, older with a resume GAP the size of the Holland Tunnel. I'm looking at a low key low end retirement with possibly part time work of some kind.

Edited by Jingthing
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Oh, I don't doubt that Hubby and I could find jobs now in the U.S., even at our ages, but I don't know if I've got the interest in the kind of work we'd be likely to get, which would probably involve standing on our feet all day and probably being outdoors. With our background as greenhouse/nursery owner/operators and since I can talk to people pretty well about plants, insects and diseases, I'd probably be able to get a job right away in the garden center at a Home Depot or similar place. I remember how dragging around 100 ft of a hose full of water on concrete to water plants makes my right hip and knee sore after a few hours. And that was eight years ago.

Hubby used to be licensed as a certified pesticide operator so he'd have the ability to buy controlled pesticides for our own use and I expect he could study for a week or two, go take the exams again and get himself re-certified and be out treating people's lawns for dandelions and grubs. I don't know if he's got enough salesmanship to convince 'em to buy treatment programs they don't need, however. Oh well, they could put him with a younger, handsome partner who would talk the homeowner into signing an unnecessary contract while Hubby drags around the heavy hoses full of unnecessary pesticides and treats their lawns.

Yup, really sounds like it would be a good life! Makes me want to head back now, rather than waiting for my pensions to kick in.

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Sorry, I meant to add:

Big holidays like Christmas can be a bit overwhelming after living in low-key Thailand. If you like them, great. If not, find a house/apartment with a bunker so you can escape. You don't want to be the guy all the neighbors talk about........"doesn't turn on his porch light for Halloween", "doesn't even have a Christmas tree in his house"

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Yeah, property crime is a real problem in the lower cost places in the U.S. I would move to. Not overly concerned about violent crime. Of course that can happen anywhere.

I will likely need to run a car in the U.S. No vehicle needed in Thailand. I'd prefer to live in a very central downtown area in a city with great public transport but that's well out of my price range as such places are very desirable now. So car accident risk. This isn't really about a real change in the U.S. culture. The U.S. was mostly a car dependent culture when I left, and STILL is. Options like Uber are a change. Maybe that can mean not needing to own a car but it really depends on the SPECIFIC location, etc.

Yes, I am very much into Asian food. But not only. The places I would move to have good Asian grocery stores and some decent restaurants as well. I can cook Thai food myself as I used to. As far as THAI food specifically, in the U.S. I actually prefer Vietnamese and Chinese. Decent restaurant Vietnamese is affordable, decent Chinese less so. I do love the amazing DIVERSITY (and QUALITY) of food options in U.S. ... that is a PLUS over Thailand.

Edited by Jingthing
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Sorry, I meant to add:

Big holidays like Christmas can be a bit overwhelming after living in low-key Thailand. If you like them, great. If not, find a house/apartment with a bunker so you can escape. You don't want to be the guy all the neighbors talk about........"doesn't turn on his porch light for Halloween", "doesn't even have a Christmas tree in his house"

OK.

Not really a change.

On the bright side, atheism is growing in the U.S.

Neighbors will probably think I'm strange anyway and they'd probably be right.

Some things can't be helped!

Behind honest about repatriating after a VERY LONG stretch in Thailand (the constant butt of sex jokes in the media) isn't likely to help either.

Will try to move into a more DIVERSE locality if I can. That should help.

Edited by Jingthing
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Repatriating money is a BIG concern.

I will need to sell my CONDO and repatriate the money.

If I can't do that, I can't realistically go back

As far as 800K funds yes that is hard to repatriate but I'm less concerned about that ... could spend down even take bags of cash on the airplane.

I haven't mentioned before, I actually have about a TWO YEAR plan to make this happen.

It's about my personal finances timing more than anything.

If I could snap my fingers and be where I think I can be in two years, I would leave next week.

So for those who like (or hate) my posts on Thaivisa ... there will be plenty of time to adjust. Ha ha.

To repatriate the funds, consider finding somebody who can deliver USD to your US bank account in exchange for THB cash in Thailand.

A buddy and I do this. He has surplus THB from working here and I need volumes of THB in Thailand. I can deliver AUD to his Aussie bank account from New Zealand by TT. I can pay him AUD from my NZ AUD FCA or just convert from NZD on the day.

We both benefit from the exchange rate as we split the bank's margins between us.

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Im in the states now for the last 4 months after 6 years in thailand...

Cashless society...

Delivery for everything by freelancers...lyft uber...restaurant food delivered by people...

Clothes shopping is cheap and everything fits...

The food...oh man so good!

7 11s...hahaha totally different...

Options options and more freaking options! Its overwhelming to go to the grocery store....

Gluten free whaaaa....

Everything just feels easier...such as opening bank accounts...

Laws organization...rules....police are real and unified sharks...

Expensive to violate anything....

Infrastructure...clean manicured...slightly sterile and disneyfied....

Convenience....soooo convenient....gyms! Wow! 30 bux a month check out la fitness! Modern...spacious raquetball basketball courts...pools...crossfit mixed with machines and free weights galore!! 20 different machines just for core/ abs!

Visa..what visa? Wheres my passport..who cares!!!! Jobs everywhere!!! So much work in every industry no work permit necessary!!!

Pot is legal and sold in dispensaries!!!

Minimum wage going up to 15 an hour!!!!

1st time home owner loans with 0 down!!!

Friendly people...i think just reflecting your smile...genuine nice courtous customer service...people interact with you with sincerity and curiousity and helpful mindfulness

Healthy yoga people!!

In austin there are hipsters rolling on motsai scooters...no helmet laws!!!

Mai pen rai sabai sabai!!!

It feels safe...and controlled...

And super fantastic internet...

That whole no passport/visa thingy is great if you're American, but even an Aussie or a European wouldn't find it easy to get work in the states. Might as well stay in Thailand then.

Great that you guys still have manufacturing for example - it's practically dead in Australia.

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I think that the same is true for all of us who have been living in LOS for some time, regardless of our country of origin.

In my case I have progressively observed changes in life in the UK which are definitely not for the better from my perspective on various trips back home since moving out here 8 years ago - to the extent that I now feel a complete stranger in my home country whenever I go there. And the prospect of having to readjust myself to UK culture were I to move back there permanently is one which, quite frankly, I dread.

Yes I understand there are similarities. For sure.

But there are big differences.

For example, my top choices to move to in the U.S. are places with quite HOT weather and very mild winters. The top being in Florida, which climate-wise is not that different than Thailand. You don't have that option in the U.K. or most of western Europe.

As far as feeling like a stranger in your native country, I can relate to that. But in my case I moved frequently in the U.S. to many different regions, usually living in neighborhoods where many or most people didn't speak English as their native language. So that feeling might not be so different moving back there again.

Of course I well understand many long term western expats in Thailand can't accept going back ... NO MATTER WHAT.

That's obviously a factor in the number of CONDO JUMPERS in Pattaya, etc.

Many people don't really practically have the OPTION to go back even if it gets really bad.

Edited by Jingthing
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That whole no passport/visa thingy is great if you're American, but even an Aussie or a European wouldn't find it easy to get work in the states. Might as well stay in Thailand then.

Great that you guys still have manufacturing for example - it's practically dead in Australia.

Sure, so going back home to you with no need for a visa would mean to Australia, or wherever. Of course there are some people who are stateless.

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The "rules" enforcement thing isn't really a change. Obviously details of that might be. It's one of those cultural difference bigger picture pro and con things. It can bite both ways depending on the specific situation. That would be a culture shock to readjust but I think it would mostly be about going back to what I already know.

One cultural thing I look forward to is that in the U.S. you can assertively COMPLAIN, even raise your voice if warranted, and not necessary "lose face" or lose the conflict just for doing that. Actually you can usually "win" conflicts in the U.S. doing that if your POV has credibility. The Thai way of non confrontation, just silently sucking it up. doesn't suit my temperament. Also look forward to being able to honestly trash businesses that deserve it online without fear of being arrested.

Well don't know what businesses in Thailand deserve a trashing other than those that practice dual pricing, some of which, ironically, are American owned! Such as "Ripley's believe it or not" in Pattaya yes "believe it or not" but in Thailand, Ripley's will rip you off for being a foreigner! So much for American companies screwing the very laws and/or ideologies like not discriminating against foreigners or minorities just because they're not in America anymore. I can understand it when Thai companies do it, as they have no such laws on their books in Thailand, but an American company? Ditto for Madame Tassauds. Just because you have white skin you have to pay more to visit their wax museum. Racist. Imagine if they charged blacks, Thais and Indians more for visiting their London museum?

Even so, in such cases it might be better to complain to the American/British head office than it's Thai counterpart.

Otherwise, if we're talking taxis in Thailand - yes it's possible to complain about them, but you have to be objective and can't just go on an angry tirade. There is far less reason to complain about American taxis as very, very few would dare to overcharge newly arrived foreigners, or anyone non-white, besides, the taxi driver himself is likely to be non-white. And even if they did, the repercussions are far more severe than in Thailand.

Other types of businesses like restaurants? Only reason to complain would be if you ate something that wasn't fresh and it made you sick. Or something like that. If the service was bad, well realize that restaurant employees are individuals too and don't necessarily represent a company's culture. Get over it. Many Americans (and other "farangs") have a certain notion of what good service means, which includes endless chit chat with the server and them constantly coming back to ask you how your food is, etc. and if the diners don't get that (well obviously they won't in Thailand) suddenly the service is bad, even though the culture here is different and servers just don't do that here.

Personally I prefer the Thai/Asian approach to ordering in restaurants. You get a menu, the waiter/waitress waits next to you and then you point or say what you want (usually you say it and point at the same time to make sure your order is taken down properly). The food comes, you finish it and eventually you ask for the bill/check. None of this constant pestering like in the US: "oh, how's the food?" Well if it wasn't good I would have told you already! Now let me eat in peace!

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Again, I totally agree there are PROS and CONS to living in Thailand.

Decisions to expatriate or repatriate are entirely based on INDIVIDUAL factors.

The point of this thread is not to trash Thailand or suggest everything is bad about it.

Bad can also be subjective. We're all different.

Assuming I manage to leave, I wouldn't consider living in Thailand a "mistake" either any more than I consider my time living in San Francisco a "mistake" just because I made a rational decision to LEAVE when I did.

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Complain protest ridicule political leaders and public figures...the threshhold for libel slander...Wow...yea freedom of speech...welcome home sir....though i even find myself lowering my voice and looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is listening when i talk about certain unmentionable topics related to the ole LOS....its crazy how deep that permeates into your being....

Freedom of speech? In the USA? Or any other liberal western "democracy"?

That's a thing of the past I'm afraid.

There are a lot of things you can't say in the USA, that you could say quite freely in Thailand.

It's called political correctness, or cultural Marxism by another name and was "invented" if you will, by a group of Jews in Germany during the 1920s.

Consider this example:

In Thailand, it's OK to state that Indians are smelly.

Imagine you tried saying that in America?

In Thailand, you're fine to say that you want nothing to do with black people. Most people will agree with you and won't have any second thoughts about that statement.

In America? You could be fined, even arrested. If you don't hire a perfectly qualified black person because you don't like them, you could be sued for discrimination.

The main difference between Thailand and America? In Thailand - can't say anything bad about the highest institution or criticize the government too much - can in America. Can say what you want about what someone looks like, where they come from, what they believe in or whether you like them or not in Thailand (except for one very important family of course), can't in America.

Edited by Tomtomtom69
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Trying to make Tom's points RELEVANT to THIS topic, it is my impression that especially among YOUNGER Americans there is a trend to be more SENSITIVE about the use of language. For example, the very concept of "micro-aggressions" is relatively new, and that people would actually take that seriously does seem extreme and also AMUSING.

But again, the thread isn't about a pro and con list or to argue about such a list.

It's about specific things that will appear to have CHANGED between Thailand in the U.S. for people who have lived away for a LONG TIME.

In that sense this thread could be similarly relevant to an expat who has live in PORTUGAL, for example, instead of Thailand.

It's not so much about Thailand vs. the USA ... it's about CHANGE in the U.S.A. specifically.

I already have my own personal pro and con list, and unless someone has some surprising news like the government is going to execute me for liking to eat spicy food, that's not really the point of this thread.

Edited by Jingthing
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Sorry, I meant to add:

Big holidays like Christmas can be a bit overwhelming after living in low-key Thailand. If you like them, great. If not, find a house/apartment with a bunker so you can escape. You don't want to be the guy all the neighbors talk about........"doesn't turn on his porch light for Halloween", "doesn't even have a Christmas tree in his house"

That's interesting but unless you are moving to a small town, would anyone even care? I don't think you'll even get to know your neighbors if you go to live in a big city. It's not really any different there to Thailand. When I lived in the States for 2 years as a student, I lived in 2 different places and no, I didn't know my neighbors. They didn't bake me cookies to welcome me, nor did they invite me out for drinks, they kept to themselves and never even said hi to me, even if I may have said "hi" to them.

It seems that in the real world (unlike in the movies) most people just keep to themselves. So even if the neighbors quietly say those things, you'll never know, because they won't be talking to their other neighbors they don't know, they'll be saying it amongst themselves.

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That whole no passport/visa thingy is great if you're American, but even an Aussie or a European wouldn't find it easy to get work in the states. Might as well stay in Thailand then.

Great that you guys still have manufacturing for example - it's practically dead in Australia.

Sure, so going back home to you with no need for a visa would mean to Australia, or wherever. Of course there are some people who are stateless.

Sure, that's what I meant. However, my point was that some of our home countries are not looking all that glamourous particularly in regards to getting a job as the US now seems to be. Still, that isn't the point of this thread - the topic at hand is about moving back home.

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Trying to make Tom's points RELEVANT to THIS topic, it is my impression that especially among YOUNGER Americans there is a trend to be more SENSITIVE about the use of language. For example, the very concept of "micro-aggressions" is relatively new, and that people would actually take that seriously does seem extreme and also AMUSING.

But again, the thread isn't about a pro and con list or to argue about such a list.

It's about specific things that will appear to have CHANGED between Thailand in the U.S. for people who have lived away for a LONG TIME.

In that sense this thread could be similarly relevant to an expat who has live in PORTUGAL, for example, instead of Thailand.

It's not so much about Thailand vs. the USA ... it's about CHANGE in the U.S.A. specifically.

I already have my own personal pro and con list, and unless someone has some surprising news like the government is going to execute me for liking to eat spicy food, that's not really the point of this thread.

Well, following on from the points you have just raised, how have so-called micro-aggressions or as most of us simply know it PC (the term micro-aggressions I have only become familiar with very, very recently) changed since you last lived in the States? My personal feeling in Australia is that it's become a lot worse in the past 10-15 years than it used to be. Meaning that back then, you were able to say certain things that wouldn't be acceptable or as acceptable now.

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Internet and phone and cable / sat TV are outrageously expensive. Here is my estimation (I am sure it can vary widely)

Internet -$50 min for basic

Mobile - probably $100 a month with data

TV - probably $100 or more for a decent package

Netflix and Hulu are cheap and good for a while. There are also other ones as well.

The biggest shock for me was going to a grocery store and seeing all the great produce from all over the world (and local) for so cheap. This was what I realized on my last trip back. I'm moving back to USA next month so I can give you an update.

Thanks.

I am aware it's more expensive there but hadn't realized it was THAT much more expensive especially for mobile data service. Wow. Egads.

As far as video content cheaper, a little Birdie tells me about USENET ... wink wink nod nod.

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Trying to make Tom's points RELEVANT to THIS topic, it is my impression that especially among YOUNGER Americans there is a trend to be more SENSITIVE about the use of language. For example, the very concept of "micro-aggressions" is relatively new, and that people would actually take that seriously does seem extreme and also AMUSING.

But again, the thread isn't about a pro and con list or to argue about such a list.

It's about specific things that will appear to have CHANGED between Thailand in the U.S. for people who have lived away for a LONG TIME.

In that sense this thread could be similarly relevant to an expat who has live in PORTUGAL, for example, instead of Thailand.

It's not so much about Thailand vs. the USA ... it's about CHANGE in the U.S.A. specifically.

I already have my own personal pro and con list, and unless someone has some surprising news like the government is going to execute me for liking to eat spicy food, that's not really the point of this thread.

Well, following on from the points you have just raised, how have so-called micro-aggressions or as most of us simply know it PC (the term micro-aggressions I have only become familiar with very, very recently) changed since you last lived in the States? My personal feeling in Australia is that it's become a lot worse in the past 10-15 years than it used to be. Meaning that back then, you were able to say certain things that wouldn't be acceptable or as acceptable now.

Well, I haven't experienced this myself as I live in Thailand. But I've heard about it. A LOT. The micro aggression thing seems to be P.C. taken to a ridiculous level, that's all. Aggression to me is when you get PUNCHED. I suppose it might mean that to avoid unpleasantness, you should speak PABLUM when talking to younger people. That might take some adjustment. Of course with my white skin and male gender I'd be a walking talking example of PRIVILEGE. That apparently is a big part of it ... obsessing over unearned social privilege.

This may now be related to the TRUMP movement, which may or may not last.

I have been told that if you're an older white guy in the U.S. now minority group people often assume you're probably a TRUMP supporter ... with obvious negative implications.

That's a change. Hopefully it will pass.

Edited by Jingthing
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Internet and phone and cable / sat TV are outrageously expensive. Here is my estimation (I am sure it can vary widely)

Internet -$50 min for basic

Mobile - probably $100 a month with data

TV - probably $100 or more for a decent package

Netflix and Hulu are cheap and good for a while. There are also other ones as well.

The biggest shock for me was going to a grocery store and seeing all the great produce from all over the world (and local) for so cheap. This was what I realized on my last trip back. I'm moving back to USA next month so I can give you an update.

Thanks.

I am aware it's more expensive there but hadn't realized it was THAT much more expensive especially for mobile data service. Wow. Egads.

As far as video content cheaper, a little Birdie tells me about USENET ... wink wink nod nod.

you can look up the mobile data but from what I could tell online it's really expensive. I got a sim for data when I was there and it was $99 for unlimited data from T-Mobile. I didn't use any sms or call time but it may have been unlimited as well.
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I have not been back in several years, but from friends living there, I hear reports of people being less civil... and angrier.

One friend who recently moved back reports that things are just a lot more expensive...

What i also hear from people/retirees there and ones who go back and forth, is that it is boring in USA...

If I remember correctly, you are in Pattaya area - not sure where you are going to in USA, but I think you will miss the excitement and free entertainment of just walking the streets or sitting and people watching...

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...

I've done my personal pro and con calculation about that, and my conclusion is that my long term survivability is better in the U.S. even though it would mean taking a quality of life hit in a number of ways but also some other things will be better.

I recognize the readjustment period would be painful and risky. But I want to avoid being the type of case NancyL sees in Chiang Mai ... people who should have left earlier if they could have and had a realistic path towards making that happen, and I can and I do. ...

Fireplay -- where are you?

Jingthing's right. I see people here in Chiang Mai who simply wait too long to get themselves organized for a return to their home countries. By the time that they're frail, unable to care for themselves properly and often can't afford to have someone look after them, it's simply too daunting a task to return. These are the people who end up getting hit by a motorcycle driving up on the sidewalk as they make their daily trip outside the condo, venturing out for a few odds and ends at the mall and a little social interaction with the other old guys at the Tops food court. ...

The cultural differences of death and dying is a bit different in Thailand vs USA. Not everyone wants to be hooked up to machines indefinetely, or stare at the walls of the nursing home or hospice waiting to die. Just the freedom to walk outside whenever you want (and possibly get hit) might outweigh cooped up somewhere waiting to pass on.

Assisted living is expensive in USA any way you slice it. Again, it boils down to how you want to spend your last perceived days, not just price.

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Oh and tv!!! Wowowow series are sooo good! Everything is dvr and on demand the cable sat channels are insane!!! You will love american TV!! I AM CURRENTLy banging through ray donovan...soooo good...and true detective 1st season was amazing!!!! Tv shows today in the west have gotten so edgy and smart and dark and complicated and weird and funny...even american commercials are all slick and catchy and well produced....

We watched Ray Donovan as a mini-marathon series for a week at our local bar in Pattaya. Certainly good, edgy stuff right now but you don't have to go back there to watch it.

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