Do you pay her a salary? (I do.)

[opalred]

yes she gets her rewards to use my body

[Nowisee]

Any exchange of money negates social and sexual pair bonding. What does that leave? Prostitution?

Edited April 18, 2016 by Nowisee

[1FinickyOne]

PT - I am going to say that it is situational and the way to improve the situation is to be fair and open minded. For your future relationship, my best bet would be to start slowly and then increase as time goes by or as the situation might warrant. I think any decent thai country lady will be glad and appreciative of the fact that you are doing it to improve the quality of her life. Country people appreciate kindness.

good luck to you & enjoy the search.

[1FinickyOne]

If she is working and you are paying all bills and living expenses, why pay more on top of that?

It is called sharing... and it depends on the times and circumstances - if things are not going well and one is in a bad time, then no, no need to pay more than that - - if you are doing great - say your salary or pension were to increase 10x - would you not want to give/share 10% of that with a lady that you live with?

It really all depends on circumstance.

You would not be comfortable drinking out of fine china while your wife is drinking from a coconut shell...

[villagefarang]

Any exchange of money negates social and sexual pair bonding. What does that leave? Prostitution?

It is not that black or white in my opinion. My mother did not work and I don't wish for my wife to work but neither my mother nor my wife could be considered prostitutes. It is a more traditional devision of labor and responsibility which can create a very symbiotic relationship given the right pairing.

[thaiduncankk]

If she is working and you are paying all bills and living expenses, why pay more on top of that?

It is called sharing... and it depends on the times and circumstances - if things are not going well and one is in a bad time, then no, no need to pay more than that - - if you are doing great - say your salary or pension were to increase 10x - would you not want to give/share 10% of that with a lady that you live with?

It really all depends on circumstance.

You would not be comfortable drinking out of fine china while your wife is drinking from a coconut shell...

If you built a house, it would be interesting to know what 'share' of the financing of the house she paid ?

[1FinickyOne]

Yes, I built a house - it was my wife's dream to have a house in her village... it was not my dream, but I have enjoyed and benefitted from having the house and being in the village...

We did not finance the house but i paid for it 100% - it was a gift to her. I built it with that understanding, that it would be a security for her for the rest of her life. I did not expect there to be resale value in a small village - and so, a gift.

I had expected it to be more a home base, but it has certainly become a home, w/dogs and raising kids and now it is a family compound.

Sure, I get lunch made for me every once in a while, but I make sure to leave a nice tip under the plate.. [just kidding before I get ridiculous responses]

when I give a gift, I do not expect anything in return.

[uthaithanirules]

Dmaxdan
"I don't pay my wife anything. I was introduced to her by another Thai lady who is a friend of mine (not a girlfriend) in the UK. Her advice to me was do not give her money, for example like a salary. She told me that if a problem arises then by all means help her out. But to pay her money just for the sake of it is wrong, and just sends out the wrong messages. 10 years on, we are still going strong."



NickJ
"My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries "

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Surely the term "refreshingly honest" implies a new and innovative approach to a situation?

The OP's Post offers neither; it's simply a rather clumsy attempt to disguise the long used Thai system of "Mia Noi", or more specifically in this case "Mia Chao", a much lower category of sexual servitude (without the usually significant aspect of respect for the individual conferred by the "status" of "Mia Noi").

Patrick

We split the bills.
Im the kind of person who would pay money to be left alone. Will never grasp the concept of paying for company, unless its a prostitute for a couple of hours.

A woman taking a regular weekly/monthly salary in return for her company is a prostitute on retainer and, as such, not worthy of the description, "girlfriend"

LOLz

Half the guys in this thread so far have said something like if you give her money regularly, she is a prostitute.

Didnt seem to register with any of you to even consider there might be kids involved


I wonder how this makes you different to the other half that have replied in this thread

[luk AJ]

Any exchange of money negates social and sexual pair bonding. What does that leave? Prostitution?

If tomorrow there would be no " sexual pair bonding" between me and my GF, I would still pay her the same monthly amount. I give her money because I want her to feel better, more independent and provide means to help her family. I don't ask nor expect my GF to be greatful, I give because it is for me the right thing to do. If all comes to an end tomorrow I will be sad for the loss of a girlFRIEND, not for the loss of the money. Some think true love can only be achieved if you can stay together without any financial support. What does that leave? Domination?

[rgs2001uk]

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Well, in conservative German families it is kind of normal to give the woman allowance money to keep up with the needs and the budget of the household. Seems to be normal way of doing things and best way of budgeting.

Of course this concept sounds alien to some people for different reasons.

How 1950s, here in todays Bkk women are working and earning their own money, they dont need control freaks Thai or Farang in their life.

[rgs2001uk]

My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

No, many hand over all their wages, don't you know any. I give the mrs 20 baht a day, but intend to put this up to 10k a month next year and she can pay for all her stuff out of that. She does work p/t but barely earns a minimum wage these days. Any bad behavior will result in deductions.

I know of relationships where the Thai girl supports the Thai man.

Its not unheard of for the girl to shower the man with, gold, motorcyles, watches or in some cases cars.

I know some singers like that, never seems to last long though

Two of the girls are older, yaeng pua types.

In another case, the girl earns about 12k per month and is paying off the car at 7k per month for the next 7 years..

In another case the girl earns about 15k per month and pays for everything for the "peacock"

[Nowisee]

Any exchange of money negates social and sexual pair bonding. What does that leave? Prostitution?

It is not that black or white in my opinion. My mother did not work and I don't wish for my wife to work but neither my mother nor my wife could be considered prostitutes. It is a more traditional devision of labor and responsibility which can create a very symbiotic relationship given the right pairing.

Different situations, don't make it so black and white.

Any exchange of money negates social and sexual pair bonding. What does that leave? Prostitution?

If tomorrow there would be no " sexual pair bonding" between me and my GF, I would still pay her the same monthly amount. I give her money because I want her to feel better, more independent and provide means to help her family. I don't ask nor expect my GF to be greatful, I give because it is for me the right thing to do. If all comes to an end tomorrow I will be sad for the loss of a girlFRIEND, not for the loss of the money. Some think true love can only be achieved if you can stay together without any financial support. What does that leave? Domination?

Really? Why? Altruistic?

Some people don't think true love exists. Back to sex and pair bonding. Financial support only exists in humans.

[Kaalle]

Dmaxdan

"I don't pay my wife anything. I was introduced to her by another Thai lady who is a friend of mine (not a girlfriend) in the UK. Her advice to me was do not give her money, for example like a salary. She told me that if a problem arises then by all means help her out. But to pay her money just for the sake of it is wrong, and just sends out the wrong messages. 10 years on, we are still going strong."

NickJ

"My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries "

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Surely the term "refreshingly honest" implies a new and innovative approach to a situation?

The OP's Post offers neither; it's simply a rather clumsy attempt to disguise the long used Thai system of "Mia Noi", or more specifically in this case "Mia Chao", a much lower category of sexual servitude (without the usually significant aspect of respect for the individual conferred by the "status" of "Mia Noi").

Patrick

We split the bills.

Im the kind of person who would pay money to be left alone. Will never grasp the concept of paying for company, unless its a prostitute for a couple of hours.

A woman taking a regular weekly/monthly salary in return for her company is a prostitute on retainer and, as such, not worthy of the description, "girlfriend"

LOLz

Half the guys in this thread so far have said something like if you give her money regularly, she is a prostitute.

Didnt seem to register with any of you to even consider there might be kids involved

I wonder how this makes you different to the other half that have replied in this thread

I said nothing of the kind. I differentiated between the company of a gf and a prostitute, even if there is money involved in both cases.

[richard_smith237]

A purely independent situation based upon individual merit - I guess many of the issues involving topics such as this on forums are that some guys have no sense of balance when judging someone else, others are so defensive they dress-up their situation to unbelievable proportions and others simply can't get away from their own experiences....

So, in answer to the Ops question: Do I pay her a Salary?... No...erm, maybe, well we don't call it that but my Wife spends my money.... so is that a yes?

History:

Dating - My Wife (then Girlfriend) had her own income and was purely self sufficient (managing the family business).

Married - My Wife's income reduced as I was dragging her away from work too much (her family cut her salary - Fair enough)

Mother - My Wife's income dropped to very little, she's a full time mom and gets tiny stipend from her Web-based company.

I pay whatever the bills are at the end of the month (from a Shared Credit Card account) and my Wife draws whatever cash she needs from a shared Bank Account.

It's not a Salary, but my Wife spends what she needs. This is how her parents, my parents and my Sisters (with their husbands) handle money.

Of course, if we need to budget we simply cut down and we always discuss any 'big spends'.....

[thrilled]

Emany men give their wives money no matter what the nationality is.I have known stay at home moms who take care of the kids.

Husband gives the paycheck to her and she gives him an allowance every week.

I give my fiancé,soon to be married money every 3-4 months.I'm putting the grand kids thru school.I can afford it so. Why not.

Plus it covers her make up and other expenses she might have.

Each person is different.I feel it's your money do what you want.I don't judge.

[Gonsalviz]

(not sexy massage)

Yeah, right.

You apparently haven't met all Thai women. You are a jerk.

[benalibina]

My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

No, many hand over all their wages, don't you know any. I give the mrs 20 baht a day, but intend to put this up to 10k a month next year and she can pay for all her stuff out of that. She does work p/t but barely earns a minimum wage these days. Any bad behavior will result in deductions.

I know of relationships where the Thai girl supports the Thai man.

Its not unheard of for the girl to shower the man with, gold, motorcyles, watches or in some cases cars.

Aha...youve read the book as well then.

Private Dancer that is.

[Gonsalviz]

my missus does not work.

On the first of every month I transfer to her account 80k. From this she pays all the household bills (rent/electric/water/internet/cable tv etc etc) and makes sure there is always fresh bread, milk, beer in the fridge and ciggies in my office and covers any other miscellaneous expenditure (this month we had all the AC's serviced).

What ever is not spent is hers.

80 K? That is my entire monthly retirement pay. I live in Isan. I could easily do 30K.

[uthaithanirules]

Don't need to. My wife has a job and earns her own money. and contributes to the household income. I will say that I did give my western first wife a very healthy allowance as she did not work, but it was never enough for her and I finally had it with her and her selfishness. I never understood this whole money issue being a Thai thing. If you marry a poor girl from anywhere you better know her family may need help and why would you have a problem with that if you're a real man? My mother came from a poor working class family and my father who became successful helped my mother's family for years as they struggled. Why wouldn't you? If you can't afford it or don't care enough to do so then don't get involved. It's your choice to make so don't bitch if you choose a poor farm girl as your wife. You're not buying a pet for Christ sake!

Best post in the thread thus far.

I'm in the situation I am now, because I spent my 20s and 30s working my butt off,concentrating on career, saving my pennies.....and every chic back home in Australia during that time was just way too selfish, too many of them arent very feminine in the first place. Look an act like men and then expect you to hand over everything....Australian women just disgust me really.

I dont really understand those that try and make out I couldnt find "love", whatever the hell that is, back home, well go and have a look at them all. Overall asian women are just simply a lot hotter, and for me, Thai or Japanese women the hottest asian women.

I also really really dont understand those that say Thai women are gold diggers....compared to the ones back home?, seriously?

Building the wifes house and renovating the parents house came to 850,000 baht (admittedly me and the father in law did most of the work, but still) compared to the McMansion I would have needed back home for the wife and kids....she saved me a million dollars just on that, thats dollars not baht....let me say that again, a million dollars.....which really actually translates to 2+ million dollars over the next couple of decades as Im not paying off a giant mortgage and have all that extra money to invest

Just over 7 years ago, when it came time to think about having kids, I pretty much ignored what seemingly everyone else on the planet would try to tell me, went for the hottest non-nympho thai girl I could find, yes she was a bargirl (smokin hot, I mean smokin!)....shouldnt really be that hard for a guy to tell the difference between one that is a nympho and one that does want to go back to the village, stay put, make babies....as long as that guy isnt blinded by "love" or whats in his pants

And of course how hot she is, those genes, are very important...very important when those kids grow into adults and they are getting treated better because they are better looking, thats the way the world is

I give her 50K a month, which I thought was generous by TVF standards, but there is one guy in this thread already that has said he gives his 80k a month - but probably lives in Bangkok. Where we are, day to day costs are a lot cheaper

I know 50k a month where she is, is more than she needs, but Im basically paying her to raise my kids for me( I said in the other thread our kids, or her kids, cos lets face it, Ill be dead 30 years before she is) Brought her a whopping big pick up truck, not exactly for her, but because she is going to drive the kids around Thailand. 50K baht a month is just under AU$500 a week, on the generous side...but back home, that wouldnt even cover the mortgage, let alone everything

So I really dont understand what everyone is on about. Have a smokin hot wife, who by looking at the MIL couldnt get overweight if she tried, good lookin kids....and all for at least a million dollars cheaper over a lifetime

[BookMan]

My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

No, many hand over all their wages, don't you know any. I give the mrs 20 baht a day, but intend to put this up to 10k a month next year and she can pay for all her stuff out of that. She does work p/t but barely earns a minimum wage these days. Any bad behavior will result in deductions.

I know of relationships where the Thai girl supports the Thai man.

Its not unheard of for the girl to shower the man with, gold, motorcyles, watches or in some cases cars.

If the Thai woman loves the man she will do almost anything

I know of a couple of relationships where the Thai woman is supporting the farang guy

[thaiduncankk]

You've seriously got to laugh at some of these replies !

[Gutenberg]

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Well, in conservative German families it is kind of normal to give the woman allowance money to keep up with the needs and the budget of the household. Seems to be normal way of doing things and best way of budgeting.

Of course this concept sounds alien to some people for different reasons.

How 1950s, here in todays Bkk women are working and earning their own money, they dont need control freaks Thai or Farang in their life.

Yeah. Why not? Some women choose this life style (like their western counter parts) and either are rich and have a toy boy or are 39 without kids and eat the big ice cream cup alone crying themselves into sleep.

[Gutenberg]

I guess you can call it a salary, a stipend, an allowance, housekeeping, rent, pocket money, or anything else you like. But if her having sex with you is dependent on the money changing hands, it all amounts to the same thing.

I found out what's wrong here and why people mix things up:

a. You give your wife/gf allowance to manage/budget the household, e.g. to pay the bills, buy groceries.

b. You give your mia noi / bar girl monthly money that she entertains you and have sex with you.

It's a difference.

I do both.

[thrilled]

I guess you can call it a salary, a stipend, an allowance, housekeeping, rent, pocket money, or anything else you like. But if her having sex with you is dependent on the money changing hands, it all amounts to the same thing.

I found out what's wrong here and why people mix things up:

a. You give your wife/gf allowance to manage/budget the household, e.g. to pay the bills, buy groceries.

b. You give your mia noi / bar girl monthly money that she entertains you and have sex with you.

It's a difference.

I do both.

I can't do both.Don't have the energy.Maybe get A good massage every now and then.

[SoiBiker]

I do neither.

[1BADDAT]

I don't give my gf any monthly income. She has her own job, her own room..etc. She had all of those before I met her. I do however pay for almost everything we do together. Traveling, dinners, or other luxuries that she would probably not be able to afford without me.

If guys want to pay their gf, wife, insert other description here, a monthly salary then that is fine with me. But that seems like a business deal more than anything. All cases are different of course. My friend gives his wife a certain amount each month to pay for the kids schooling, mortgage, car payments...etc. the rest is for him to invest and of course beer money. I don't look at this as a salary but just a split of the money for her to mange.

[laolover88]

I almost can't believe what I read on this thread.

It is like hearing throwbacks from the 1930s...".I am the head of the household stuff, Don't you worry your pretty head about that" , Pierpont Morgans dispensing houses as acts of generosity

I earn money

My wife earns money.

The household bills need to be paid. We need to eat. The children need money. It is all family money. We make decisions about expenditure, purchases, insurance or investments jointly. Basically everything comes out of one pot.The "idea' that there is "my money' or "her money" is an alien concept, We are two independent individuals who have chosen to share our lives. Of course if the occasion arose that one of us needed to be in some way dependent on the other we would deal with that. When the children were small my wife needed support. Now if I am sick and might need support it is much the same.. But of course this not the kind of relationship that can be maintained in many parts of the world

[uthaithanirules]

I almost can't believe what I read on this thread.

It is like hearing throwbacks from the 1930s...".I am the head of the household stuff, Don't you worry your pretty head about that" , Pierpont Morgans dispensing houses as acts of generosity

I earn money

My wife earns money.

The household bills need to be paid. We need to eat. The children need money. It is all family money. We make decisions about expenditure, purchases, insurance or investments jointly. Basically everything comes out of one pot.The "idea' that there is "my money' or "her money" is an alien concept, We are two independent individuals who have chosen to share our lives. Of course if the occasion arose that one of us needed to be in some way dependent on the other we would deal with that. When the children were small my wife needed support. Now if I am sick and might need support it is much the same.. But of course this not the kind of relationship that can be maintained in many parts of the world

OK, now tell me how it makes any difference

You are two individuals who have chosen to share your lives, oh really......what does that even mean?

You make decisions on investments jointly do you. Really? Because she'd know what a Secured Non Convertible Debenture is. If she does, well great, if she doesnt, well so what, how does that make a difference

Why the concept that you are both supposed to be able to know, care and do everything equally? Where does that come from?

[SoiBiker]

I almost can't believe what I read on this thread.

It is like hearing throwbacks from the 1930s...".I am the head of the household stuff, Don't you worry your pretty head about that" , Pierpont Morgans dispensing houses as acts of generosity

I earn money

My wife earns money.

The household bills need to be paid. We need to eat. The children need money. It is all family money. We make decisions about expenditure, purchases, insurance or investments jointly. Basically everything comes out of one pot.The "idea' that there is "my money' or "her money" is an alien concept, We are two independent individuals who have chosen to share our lives. Of course if the occasion arose that one of us needed to be in some way dependent on the other we would deal with that. When the children were small my wife needed support. Now if I am sick and might need support it is much the same.. But of course this not the kind of relationship that can be maintained in many parts of the world

OK, now tell me how it makes any difference

You are two individuals who have chosen to share your lives, oh really......what does that even mean?

You make decisions on investments jointly do you. Really? Because she'd know what a Secured Non Convertible Debenture is. If she does, well great, if she doesnt, well so what, how does that make a difference

Why the concept that you are both supposed to be able to know, care and do everything equally? Where does that come from?

Because marriage is a partnership?

[uthaithanirules]

I don't give my gf any monthly income. She has her own job, her own room..etc. She had all of those before I met her. I do however pay for almost everything we do together. Traveling, dinners, or other luxuries that she would probably not be able to afford without me.

If guys want to pay their gf, wife, insert other description here, a monthly salary then that is fine with me. But that seems like a business deal more than anything. All cases are different of course. My friend gives his wife a certain amount each month to pay for the kids schooling, mortgage, car payments...etc. the rest is for him to invest and of course beer money. I don't look at this as a salary but just a split of the money for her to mange.

OK, so you dont give your gf a monthly income, but you pay for everything above the basics becuase she has a shit thai job with thai pay, and couldnt do anything without your money......totally unlike a salary

Your friend pays for a whole bunch of stuff, but as long as you dont call it a salary, "a split of the money for her to manage" then its not a salary