Need some advice on my rights as a father

[harri]

Me and the wife got married 25-10-14 our son was was born on the 7-4-15.

So over the last 6 months things have gone sour.. The wife has left taking our

boy out to her mothers in the village.

Now for the last few days I've been given access to him but now looks like

the wife is gonna head off somewhere to find work!!!! leaving the boy with

her mother and her sister. I would rather of course he was here with me

but there is no talking to her. Very emotional at the moment

My question is what are my rights under Thai law do I need to get a lawyer and courts

involved to get him outta the village and here with me.

How do I proceed

Any advice would be welcome

[johnatong]

I do not believe you have any enforceable rights. If you believe the child is being endangered/ill treated by the mother you should report the facts to the police.

Any dispute in respect of custody will have to be settled in a Thai court as part of the (probable) divorce unless an amicable agreement can be made in which case the paperwork can be done at the Local Amphur.

[NongMalee]

As you are married you have equal parental rights as his mother.

Yes you can take care of him especially if he is to be left with grandparents,it's better for him to be with his father.

Edited May 24, 2016 by NongMalee

[harri]

So me being the father I have not right to extract my son from the mother inlaw when his mother is not present?

[NongMalee]

So me being the father I have not right to extract my son from the mother inlaw when his mother is not present?

Yes you do.

[Morakot]

The OP is the father as recognised by the validity of the marriage to the mother. This means he has the right to his child the same as the mother has.

How to proceed? Depends if you are planning to divorce your wife. If so, custody will be specified by a court, if you cannot find an agreement with your wife. You need to demonstrate that it's in the best interest for the child to be with you and not with the mother.

If you have separated, but don't aim for a divorce the matter is more complicated. You are still entitled to have access to your child. If the mother prevents this, you need to document this and approach a court for a solution.

Moving the child permanently to you really requires an agreement with the mother or a court decision. Likewise, having the child staying with the mother for good requires your consent or a court decision.

At this stage, it would be best not to break off communication with your wife. You need to let her understand that you have the same right to your child as she has.

Edited May 24, 2016 by Morakot

[petermik]

As a farang father you do have some rights but to try and enforce these rights in court is both expensive and will take time...........a very long time.

You are much better off trying to keep on the sweet side of his mother AND her family.

Be prepared at some later stage to walk away from your son sadly, as you are at the mercy of her and the family

[harri]

As a farang father you do have some rights but to try and enforce these rights in court is both expensive and will take time...........a very long time.

You are much better off trying to keep on the sweet side of his mother AND her family.

Be prepared at some later stage to walk away from your son sadly, as you are at the mercy of her and the family

I cant accept that not an option

[NongMalee]

Under Thai Law you can not be charged for child abduction/ kidnap as you are the legal father.

Problems may arise if you attempt to leave the kingdom only.

There is nothing stopping you taking your son from his grandparents and going elsewhere in the kingdom.

[NongMalee]

Thai police don't usually intervene in incidents such as this as it is domestic.

All that said as mentioned above it is best to try and keep the wife and family on side before making any hasty decisions.

Good luck.

Edited May 24, 2016 by NongMalee

[harri]

As you are married you have equal parental rights as his mother.

Yes you can take care of him especially if he is to be left with grandparents,it's better for him to be with his father.

Absolutely but if I do take him away from the inlaws.. Could they get the police involved..This is all in the case of his mum being not present

I'm ok if she is there with him and I still have access but if she is not present then surely under any law his place is with me

[Morakot]

Be prepared at some later stage to walk away from your son sadly, as you are at the mercy of her and the family

I cant accept that not an option

Of course you do not need to do this. See my post above.

Try to reason if possible and let her know that you want the child at least half of the time. This is your right.

[NongMalee]

Some information from previous threads you may find helpful.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/589029-kidnapping-charge-of-thai-child-from-father-farang-when/

[harri]

Thanks Nongmalee,

I'll check out those post

[johnatong]

As you are married you have equal parental rights as his mother.

Yes you can take care of him especially if he is to be left with grandparents,it's better for him to be with his father.

Absolutely but if I do take him away from the inlaws.. Could they get the police involved..This is all in the case of his mum being not present

I'm ok if she is there with him and I still have access but if she is not present then surely under any law his place is with me

I would not advice you to attempt removing the child without his mothers knowledge/consent

You might very rapidly find yourself charged with kidnapping/child abduction etc and that assumes it is the Police who are sent to "question" your action(s).

There is some poor advice being offered here but I would urge you not to act upon such advice without seeking a professional opinion about your situation.

[harri]

The OP is the father as recognised by the validity of the marriage to the mother. This means he has the right to his child the same as the mother has.

How to proceed? Depends if you are planning to divorce your wife. If so, custody will be specified by a court, if you cannot find an agreement with your wife. You need to demonstrate that it's in the best interest for the child to be with you and not with the mother.

If you have separated, but don't aim for a divorce the matter is more complicated. You are still entitled to have access to your child. If the mother prevents this, you need to document this and approach a court for a solution.

Moving the child permanently to you really requires an agreement with the mother or a court decision. Likewise, having the child staying with the mother for good requires your consent or a court decision.

At this stage, it would be best not to break off communication with your wife. You need to let her understand that you have the same right to your child as she has.

Thanks Morakot

So basically there is no other way than to take this through a divorce court and obtain the legal custody of my boy

I'd hate for him to grow up in the village in the guardianship of the inlaws

Ok well I guess its clear what I need to do

Any recommendations for a lawyer I do live in deepest darkest esarn but I guess I can approach a lawyer from anywhere

[bwpage3]

Your wife doesn't want you and is using the kid for a pawn.

What she wants is money.

If you love your kid, make a deal with her, pay her the money, write it all down in a contract and take your kid and disappear where she won't find you.

Money is the solution to having her give the kid to you. Offer her enough up front to get the kid away from her.

Make a deal in writing, trade some cash for your kid, move somewhere she won't find you, a year later file she abandoned you and then you 100% custody of the kid

I would ensure you do not try to take custody of the kid in her village but meet you somewhere with money and contract in hand for her to sign, then take your kid and scram as fast as possible to a new life.

If you are smart you can make a deal promising her money every money and after the first payment, you have 30 days to move somewhere she won't find you.

If you feel the kids best hope is to be with you, man up and do whatever it takes to get the kid away to a better life.

Unfortunately the legal route and getting the police involved will be of zero benefit to you and might make things worse.

Good chance you will get scammed by the lawyer, lose your money and not get the kid anyways.

Anyone that thinks you will get justice in Isaan is crazy. Lawyers do not mean much in Isaan.

Your wife wants money, she does not want you or the kid. Make a deal for the welfare of your kid.

Edited May 24, 2016 by bwpage3

[NongMalee]

Some more information here also.

http://www.siam-legal.com/legal_services/Child-Custody-in-Thailand.php

[harri]

Just to clarify I have no intention of taking the boy out of the country or even out with the province I just want him here where he belongs in the house with me

if his mother is not present at her mother house then surely he belongs here with me until such time as his mother comes home or we have a court order or agreement as to what is best for him

[NongMalee]

For the naysayers amongst us.

Here is a lovely picture of my half Thai daughter who I recently brought to the UK 5 weeks ago now,lived her whole life nearly 3 years in Thailand sitting eating happily in my living room some sticky rice and omelette for breakfast after me and her mother who weren't married went through a similar issue as the OP.

I got her out of the country after some initial hassles and won't be returning anytime soon,while Thai Laws naturally favour Thais,with a little bit of patience and coolness you can ensure situations such as this have a happy ending.

I speak from experience believe me and won't offer any advice that I felt it was inappropriate.

Edited May 24, 2016 by NongMalee

[harri]

For the naysayers amongst us.

Here is a lovely picture of my half Thai daughter who I recently brought to the UK 5 weeks ago now,lived her whole life nearly 3 years in Thailand sitting eating happily in my living room some sticky rice and omelette for breakfast after me and her mother who weren't married went through a similar issue as the OP.

I got her out of the country after some initial hassles and won't be returning anytime soon,while Thai Laws naturally favour Thais,with a little bit of patience and coolness you can ensure situations such as this have a happy ending.

I speak from experience believe me and won't offer any advice that I felt it was inappropriate.

My boy just had his first birthday if it takes me 3-4 years to get him out of the village and in to somewhere I'm comfortable he will receive a decent education and the ability to have a full and meaningful life then so be it.

I have no doubts that his mum and that side of the family love him dearly but I,m sorry they just cannot provide what I can no way

Thanks for your post NongMalee Inspirtional

[Morakot]

The OP is the father as recognised by the validity of the marriage to the mother. This means he has the right to his child the same as the mother has.

How to proceed? Depends if you are planning to divorce your wife. If so, custody will be specified by a court, if you cannot find an agreement with your wife. You need to demonstrate that it's in the best interest for the child to be with you and not with the mother.

If you have separated, but don't aim for a divorce the matter is more complicated. You are still entitled to have access to your child. If the mother prevents this, you need to document this and approach a court for a solution.

Moving the child permanently to you really requires an agreement with the mother or a court decision. Likewise, having the child staying with the mother for good requires your consent or a court decision.

At this stage, it would be best not to break off communication with your wife. You need to let her understand that you have the same right to your child as she has.

Thanks Morakot

So basically there is no other way than to take this through a divorce court and obtain the legal custody of my boy

I'd hate for him to grow up in the village in the guardianship of the inlaws

Ok well I guess its clear what I need to do

Kind of...

At the moment you have the all the rights, but the mother seems to prevent you from exercising them. If you don't divorce her and she keeps you from seeing your child, you need to bring this to a family court.

If you do go for a divorce (in court with custody ruling) you really need to show that you haven't broken off the link to your child and that your life is in order.

You could use the divorce option --via court-- as a way to communicate to your wife that you are serious about obtaining (full) custody. Try to come to some arrangement, without having to go to court! I would treat the going to court option as a last resort, without necessarily telling letting her know about this reluctance. As said before, if you break off communication with her, you can only rely on a court ruling.

All the best!

Edited May 24, 2016 by Morakot

[wolfmanjack]

AS NongMalee has already mentioned you have the same rights to the child as the mother does if your name is on the birth certificate and the police show up just show them the birth certificate and the marriage license. The grand parents have no right to stop you from taking the child.

Contact a lawyer first though to get advice on how best to proceed.

I am divorced and my ex wanted to take the kids. I ended up with both of them.

[harri]

Thanks for all the advice people

Its certainly put my mind at ease.. I guess I need to contact a lawyer and get them on board as to how I proceed.. but just getting it out has helped

I,ll keep posting with updates maybe it will help someone else going through a similar situation.

Thanks again

[nontabury]

As you are married you have equal parental rights as his mother.

Yes you can take care of him especially if he is to be left with grandparents,it's better for him to be with his father.

Absolutely but if I do take him away from the inlaws.. Could they get the police involved..This is all in the case of his mum being not present

I'm ok if she is there with him and I still have access but if she is not present then surely under any law his place is with me

I would not advice you to attempt removing the child without his mothers knowledge/consent

You might very rapidly find yourself charged with kidnapping/child abduction etc and that assumes it is the Police who are sent to "question" your action(s).

There is some poor advice being offered here but I would urge you not to act upon such advice without seeking a professional opinion about your situation.

Maybe it's you giving poor advice,based on your assertion that he could be charged with kidnapping his own child. For your information there is no such law in Thailand regarding your own children.

[whatproblem]

If your wife leaves the kid with her parents just go get him and move away ,let your wife pay to find you ,she will give up if it costs her ,then let lawyers fight ,remember this is Thailand ,just move with your kid when the situation gets tough,if she's back in the bar she won't win you in court if you are caring good ,find her bar ,pay farang to go with her and pictures. She will fight dirty so you have to

Edited May 25, 2016 by whatproblem

[offset]

I think it would be best to let your child stay with the Grandparents for a sort time just to show that the mother cannot look after your child then I would go to the Children's court to start proceedings to get your child

You will be interviewed by the Children's Welfare and they will provide the court with a recommendation who is the best option to look after your child and I found them to be very good on making the best decision for your child but they will need to know your financial position

I found on the 2 occasions I needed use the Children's Court I found the judge to be very fare and was only interested in the best for my child

[williamgeorgeallen]

The OP is the father as recognised by the validity of the marriage to the mother. This means he has the right to his child the same as the mother has.

How to proceed? Depends if you are planning to divorce your wife. If so, custody will be specified by a court, if you cannot find an agreement with your wife. You need to demonstrate that it's in the best interest for the child to be with you and not with the mother.

If you have separated, but don't aim for a divorce the matter is more complicated. You are still entitled to have access to your child. If the mother prevents this, you need to document this and approach a court for a solution.

Moving the child permanently to you really requires an agreement with the mother or a court decision. Likewise, having the child staying with the mother for good requires your consent or a court decision.

At this stage, it would be best not to break off communication with your wife. You need to let her understand that you have the same right to your child as she has.

Thanks Morakot

So basically there is no other way than to take this through a divorce court and obtain the legal custody of my boy

I'd hate for him to grow up in the village in the guardianship of the inlaws

Ok well I guess its clear what I need to do

Any recommendations for a lawyer I do live in deepest darkest esarn but I guess I can approach a lawyer from anywhere

this is not your only option. i have several friends who have been through similar situations.

one went through the courts when the mother demanded 6million thb to give the kid up. the courts granted my friend custody of the kid when they saw the mother did not want custody. she did not even bother turning up to the custody hearing, only the hearing to try to take his house which was awarded to their son. this still cost him alot of money in lawyers and took 2 years. at least the greedy mum did not get anything.

another friend of mine paid the mum 1million for sole custody and the day she got it she did a runner but he is now happy looking after his daughter. 6 months later she came back broke but he was smart enough to not take her back.

the best situation is to offer her some money for sole custody with still giving the mum/family visitation. money talks and i am pretty sure you will be able to sort out some deal. sole custody also means you can take your kid out of thailand without mothers permission. try to find a good lawyer who lives locally, not going to be easy in esan. PM me if you want my lawyers address in pattaya. everything must be done in legally binding contracts before exchanging any money. good luck with it all

[bazza40]

As you are married you have equal parental rights as his mother.

Yes you can take care of him especially if he is to be left with grandparents,it's better for him to be with his father.

Absolutely but if I do take him away from the inlaws.. Could they get the police involved..This is all in the case of his mum being not present

I'm ok if she is there with him and I still have access but if she is not present then surely under any law his place is with me

I would not advice you to attempt removing the child without his mothers knowledge/consent

You might very rapidly find yourself charged with kidnapping/child abduction etc and that assumes it is the Police who are sent to "question" your action(s).

There is some poor advice being offered here but I would urge you not to act upon such advice without seeking a professional opinion about your situation.

Maybe it's you giving poor advice,based on your assertion that he could be charged with kidnapping his own child. For your information there is no such law in Thailand regarding your own children.

Possibly you need to use some imagination. Extracting a child from a Thai village with the whole village howling for the OP's blood does not seem a sensible course of action. And who do you think the police will take sides with?

Consult a lawyer,negotiate with the mother, butter up the in-laws. One step at a time. Those posters advocating snatch and disappear forget the child also should have access to the mother.

[oxo1947]

Your wife doesn't want you and is using the kid for a pawn.--What she wants is money.---bwpage3

So she has no love for her child & would sell him at the right price-----Gosh bwpage3, you must be very close to his ex-wife to know these things, Oh of course I forgot She's Thai isn't she....I guess its easier to work it out once you know that no Thai person is capable of loving their child if the price is right.

I don't suppose the fact that she has gone off to look for work, wouldn't indicate to you that there seems to be no money being given by the loving father at the moment.........