Sorry ladies, as I am a Farang guy.

Hoping to learn from your experience and feelings.

I have a very good relationship with my Thai girlfriend.

We are now currently in our fifth year together.

She's a country girl, in her late forties, from Laos descent.

The sex is great with mutual pleasure for both.

Being a gentleman I ensure satisfaction multiple times.

Her sounds and responses are far too natural to be fake.

She is also quick to tell me of any dissatisfaction in any area.

Problem is, when I try to initiate intimacy, she initially assumes I am wanting sex.

When I explain, intimacy is closeness without sex (holding & hugging) she can't relate to this.

No matter how I try, or explain, she just can't get into intimacy.

For her it seems to be a waste of time or something to be avoided.

I personally take this as a lack of feeling for me.

I know we are treading on generalizations as each person is unique.

Is this aversion towards intimacy a cultural thing, or is there a divide between us?

Would love to read your feelings and experience.

Many thanks

Intimacy is for the bedroom not an open forum.

Plus, this forum is FOR women, not about them.

But women discuss womens feelings, are you saying men can't? They have their own, 'protected' safe forum where men cannot enter anyway

Edited June 3, 201610 yr by thai3

I don't think this is cultural. Just specific to her. Perhaps there wasn't much cuddling in her family growing up.

But women discuss womens feelings, are you saying men can't? They have their own, 'protected' safe forum where men cannot enter anyway

I think you should stay out of both forums. Men are heard from enough as it is.

I don't think this is cultural. Just specific to her. Perhaps there wasn't much cuddling in her family growing up.

Thank you Cheryl.

My question may have been too revealing for some but nevertheless genuine.

I'll just need to remain mindful and resist thoughts that her body language equates to her real feelings.

On 6/5/2016 at 2:04 PM, Sheryl said:

I don't think this is cultural. Just specific to her. Perhaps there wasn't much cuddling in her family growing up.

actually after more then 3 years in SEA , and more then just  1 or 2 relations, at least my own experience it is a cultural thing.probably wide spread familiar attitudes too.

Edited August 31, 20169 yr by aquario33
typing mistake

On 6/3/2016 at 3:03 AM, thai3 said:

But women discuss womens feelings, are you saying men can't? They have their own, 'protected' safe forum where men cannot enter anyway

 

The protected forum is wrong and should be ceased. Same for only women gym and only women swimming days. We are in the 21st Century, women say they want to be treated the same (quite right) so dont have women only privileges.

Right it's PC sexist nonsense, but we can't really say so as that would be er, sexist. Logically men should have a forum that does not allow women, just to be fair. Seriously though gender should not be taken into account, it's a forum for goodness sake and 'safe areas' and 'protected spaces' should only be needed for the mentally unstable.

Edited September 3, 20169 yr by thai3

Google "Love Languages". I think there are 4 main ones. 

 

Your love language is clearly "physical touch."

 

Hers might be "quality time" or "words of affirmation" or "acts of service".

 

If your love languages dont match naturally, you must find out what hers is and try to give her that.

 

My GF is "acts of service". So, when I show I care by doing extra chores and lightening her load, she really feels my love. When I try to cuddle she gives me a weird look cos her love language isnt "physical touch".

Thai women are different to farang women thats it...more often than not there like men in that area...

What a load of <deleted>!!

Women are women and Thai women are no different. Actually all women are different from eachother, just like men. Perhaps the OPs partner simply isn't really into intimate things. Though I must wonder how that affects forplay, afterplay, sex is more then a quick hump after all. It wouldn't be much pleasurable without intimacy. If you can be intimate in the bedroom it shouldn't be too difficult to (by training via repetition?) to become intimate without sex outside of the bedroom. My Thai wife like to cuddle, kiss and be intimate just as much as any other given woman. But as I said, we are all unique so... 

Been married over 10 years to a Thai woman and cannot relate to your experience. My wife loves to be cuddled! Her intimacy issues probably are based more on her own nature and life experiences than her race!


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I think men and woman are very different and believe women should absolutely have a forum without men.

That said, I find the op's post hilarious.

A guy seeking advice in a woman's forum that goes on about his sexual prowess, his sensitivity and his girlfriend's inability to be intimate without assuming he wants sex? Seriously?

Op, while it smelled like BS to me, assuming it's not, maybe what your girlfriend needs to be intimate is some commitment from you...after five years of shacking up.




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The OP's comments has merit. Like it or not!

Mostly, Rural-Thai Females are not familiar with the concept of "cuddeling" and "foreplay".

"Why? What good is this for? Them, asking in astonishement.

No wonder, Thai males prefer a macho "wham-bang-thank-you mam" approach.

So, a Thai-Female, born and raised in the sticks, familiar with "cuddeling" may have been introduced to this custom before.

The chances, of having been introduced to this custom by a Thai-Male before are slim.
Cheers.