Ramblings Of A Retired Mind -

[Padkapow Guy]

Ramblings of a Retired Mind -

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that

everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage

door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people

didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer

cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have

something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it

"Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is

falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you

got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of

an emergency' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we

supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their

pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they

deliver the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as

they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

[Simbo]

did yoy say tetired or retarded?