Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.

It's the transition that is troublesome

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud.

After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers

Behind every successful woman, there is a man who is surprised

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Forgive your enemies but remember their names

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action

lets apply these to TV members, may have to move the topic if it gets to risque

You know, funnily enough, I seriously debated which forum to post this one in...

You know, funnily enough, I seriously debated which forum to post this one in...

Good point - not really a joke, maybe better in pub forum???