sbk Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I have noticed a proliferation of agony aunt type postings in the Ladies forum of late. Now, some of these are probably genuine, but some just seem to be trolling. The ladies forum is for the women in this forum, not for the men in this forum to try and figure women out. Please be aware that any obvious trolling threads of this type will be automatically deleted. Ladies, I'd be interested in your feedback on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soju Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Ok, I'm not a lady, but will give you my opinion anyways. I think a lot of people just go off and post in the Ladies Forum without even realizing what it's there for, even though you have a sticky post at the top explaining the rules. They just see "Ladies" in the forum list and immediately go there an make a post. I think it's totally appropriate for you to move the posts to another forum being that they don't really belong here. I still think it would be nice for there to be a separate forum for these posts and any other posts related to relationships, but being there isn't such a forum, I'd say just move the posts to the General Forum and keep this forum for it's intended purpose. I don't think most of the posters will mind at all having their post moved once they realize they mistakenly posted it in the wrong forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insight Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Again, non-female response here, but I'm with Soju - it's the name of the sub-forum that could be misleading. Serious suggestion here - How about giving it a name similar to a girls magazine, like Cosmopolitan (or something)? Something that makes sense to girls but will leave most guys clueless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 (edited) Soju and Insight, her's a couple of shovels for you guys as I agree. The Dude thinks that the former name of this forum, "farang women in Thailand", better explained what this section was all about Edited November 17, 2006 by The Dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruittbatt Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 SBK, the "agony aunt" type-posts represent two different attitudes, I think. There is the male presumption that women are better listeners, and more intuitive than men. Unfortunately, this tends to stereotype all women as "caring", which IMHO is neither completely true, nor very desirable - since it lets men off the "caring" hook, and perpetuates stereotypes. The second attitude is definitely mischievous: certain posters (who will remain nameless) repeatedly "set up" posts to invite hostile and misogynist posts from cynical men. I am thinking here of the "my bar-girlfriend did me wrong and I'm just an innocent boy abroad: what should I do?" type of post which invites hostility against women from guys with bitter baggage. In fairness, though, there have also been several similar posts on the "general forum". Some of the considered responses from male posters in that forum have been most inspiring and empathic. What this should tell posters who seek out the ladies' forum to agonise is that women are not automatically sympathetic. In fact men who have had similar experiences and learned from them are probably the best advisors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisele Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 It may be that some posters don't see that it is a forum for ladies, it may be that they think this is a advice forum from ladies to anybody who has a problem with women as opposed to women who have a problem. then moving their post will get better results. If someone is genuinely looking for advice then I agree that their post should be moved to a general forum since, frankly, as a woman, I personally don't know where to meet a good woman, or any other questions of this nature. Other men's advice will probably be more helpful. It is also that some posters like to antagonize the women population on this forum. then no matter what is done, these posters will keep coming back. It is their nature, a day without antagonizing a farang woman is like a day without sunshine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 (edited) sbk, I haven't been using this forum for very long, certainly not posting, anyway. I have however, read a few of these threads on here & at least one of them has had me giggling & wondering whether the guy was genuine or just a "wind up merchant". Whether they are genuine or trolls, sometimes you just want to be on a woman's forum to talk to other women about experiences you may be having, or pick up tips from their experiences. You don't really always wanting to be consoling some guy because his experience with a girl went wrong or advising another about how to find the perfect girl. It's a woman's forum, not a dating agency! I don't know how you get around it, though. Change the name to make it clearer, as suggested before? How about "For women by women" or something similar? BTW - not sure how much the Thailovelounge ad at the top of the page is contributing to the problem Edited November 17, 2006 by November Rain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 i tend to agree with november rain in saying that the sponsorships at the top of the page may not be doing us any favours. can we tie in these agony aunt postings to the same time the ads appeared? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaReina Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Maybe you can just delete the obvious trolls e.g americandictator or whatever he calls himself. But in all fairness, allowing one or two people who really are in need of advice slip through the cracks can't be all that bad. Can it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solid Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 ummmm... I am new here. But I have idea to tell. How about creating a whole section (not in Ladies forum) dedicated to trolling. So that the ones who want to troll can troll all they want. And that keep this place away from those trolls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 We picked Ladies in Thailand because we wanted to include all women, not just farang. And sponsors aren't my choice. George needs to pay the bills Personally, my feeling is it is a few trolls in here posting multiple threads with only a few really valid people involved. I would like to hear from a few more of the women who are regularly involved here but the general consensus, so far, seems to be, move them to the general forum. Am I right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Unfortunately solid, a troll by its very nature will want to go where they can make the most noise... so having an area for just them wont be effective. We prefer to use the ban button, it doesnt exactly stop the trolls but gives us mods a good giggle and helps pass the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I agree with the other posters. The forum is called 'Ladies in Thailand' and has two dating sites as sponsors. Aside from the trolls that will of course post here it's doesn't take a rocket scientist why you may be getting a lot of agony aunt questions here. Perhaps change the sponsors to something more suitable (the adverts are mainly there for men anyway so why have them here?) and rethink the name of this forum so the message is immediately clear as to what this section is about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 As sbk said already, we have no control over who is allowed to sponser the site or this section specifically but agree. Teh dating sites dont' give the right impression but without the sponsers the site wouldn't exist. As for the constant posts about trying to find a gf, wife etc, I vote for moving them asap to general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyy Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Another vote for just moving the thread and not obsessing about why it ended up in the ladies forum. 5% will never ever get the message about what this forum is for no matter what we do or don't do.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 (edited) As sbk said already, we have no control over who is allowed to sponser the site or this section specifically but agree. Teh dating sites dont' give the right impression but without the sponsers the site wouldn't exist. But there are different sponsors not just dating sites that can help finance TV, and ones that are more appropriate. Just take a look at the top of this post, a picture of a girl rubbing her breasts and above that three Thai girls smiling next to 'ThaiLoveLounge'. This is the first impression that people get when visiting this subforum. The dating sites are advertised mainly to men so this is not the right place for them anyway. I can only guess that the sponsors also misinterpreted what this section was about when they agreed to sponsor it as well. Farang pub and nightlife would be a better place for them. Edited November 17, 2006 by bkkmadness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacknDanny Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I have noticed a proliferation of agony aunt type postings in the Ladies forum of late.Now, some of these are probably genuine, but some just seem to be trolling. The ladies forum is for the women in this forum, not for the men in this forum to try and figure women out. Please be aware that any obvious trolling threads of this type will be automatically deleted. Ladies, I'd be interested in your feedback on this. Trolls appear on ALL subject matters. Lighten up. If you think they are trolls, send them a PM asking them to explain, sus out if they are genuine. Either delete the post or answer if you wish. Or are you suggesting that it should only be women who are allowed to post on this forum??? It is not compulsory to respond to a thread is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 (edited) Ladies, I'd be interested in your feedback on this. Sorry I didn't realise only ladies were asked to offer feedback. Please delete my postings. Edited November 17, 2006 by bkkmadness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sylvafern Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I also agree that if different sponsors could be found for the ladies forum it could help keep the posters out that are looking to meet 'girls'. I don't think changing the forum name to something 'girly' (e.g. the Cosmopolitan idea) to keep the guys out would work as it might also detract potential ladies from checking out the forum. Besides, I also agree that it is ok that guys post and sometimes they genuinely are looking for a female opinion (even if that's not what they get!) Really, the only idea I have is finding a more suitable sponsor but that's probably quite hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Rambo Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Does it really matter if there are agony aunt threads appearing in this sub forum? Those ladies who enjoy the agony aunt stuff can get involved in the thread, and those who don't can just ignore the topic surely? The main benefit i can see in moving the topics is actually so that they reach an audience that can offer help, as many of the male posters probably only stop in here infrequently. As Fruitbat said, very often the people most qualified to offer assistance with many of these Falang guy/Thai girl scenarios, are actually other falang guys who have been through the same situation. Take Slated's thread recently, he's describing a situation that none of the ladies in this forum have experience of being in, but plenty of the guys have, and then he goes and specifies that he only wants the opinion of the ladies. Talk about lining yourself up for bad advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainx Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 The name Ladies in Thailand is indeed misleading. How about something like "Community for Women in Thailand" or "Community for Foreign and Thai Women in Thailand" or "Non-males in Thailand"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Obvious winders SBK - come to take the piss IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruittbatt Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 The name Ladies in Thailand is indeed misleading. How about something like "Community for Women in Thailand" or "Community for Foreign and Thai Women in Thailand" or "Non-males in Thailand"? I do prefer the term "women" to "ladies", and rather like rainx's first suggestion of a name for the forum. Maybe a poll might be the most democratic way to decide about issues of * the name * agony posts/not * whether the allotted sponsors compromise the forum's agenda * what women would like to be included on the forum's agenda/excluded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 The forum is called 'Ladies in Thailand' ------ and nowhere a hint that males are not allowed to post. perhaps we should not even read any postings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 By all means, move threads to a different forum or ban the troll as applicable. But I do agree that the name may be misunderstood. Not sure what would work better -- "Women's Forum" ? It is the combination of the word Thailand and Ladies that makes some people think it is a forum about the women in Thailand. Also agree that the ads are both a pr9oblem and also poorly placed by the sponsers, doubt they'd want it there if they knew the forum is read mostl;y by women. Is it possible to solicit ads from places that would want to target women, e,g, spas, beauty salons etc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 We already had a poll about the name & the current name is how most of the women voted. It is also the most effective way to find this seciton on search engines & the forum description & forum rules I think, explain clearly what this forum is for. The name stays The sponsers are the descision of admin, so pls contact them direct to discuss their reasons for allowing them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Also, as per the forum rules, men are more than welcome to post as long as they followin the rules like evryone else. Changing the name esp. to something to exclude men specifically is not what this forum is about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainx Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 It is also the most effective way to find this seciton on search engines & the forum description & forum rules I think, explain clearly what this forum is for. Good point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 The Dude feels that the sponsor tag certainly lures a great many men into this forum with their shovels. Also the sponsor itself chose to sponsor this forum cause it thinks a great number of men read in here and it is probably right. It's kind of like a dude reading his wife's Cosmo. The Dude has done this. Now if the dudes who enter this forum and post can behave. No shovels for misbehaving dudes in this forum cause it is not diggable. Dig? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anamore Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 who is a troll and who isn't? sometimes the questions asked and the stories told are so strange that I just think "What's the matter with this one?" But I can'expect others to think the way I do or even act my way. You often have had this trollthing around but it becames a probleem when people write offensieve or dirty. Respect and acceptance of other(s) (meanings) should be the rule. If they respect this rule, just let them be, I would say. If they get no reaction they wil stop and disapear, right? About reading the rules. Many people who can read can't understand what they read. others simply don't read. Even by dangerous products of wich everybody knows one should read the instructions before using, people don't, which causes them many otherwise easily avoidable hazards. Conclusion between the willing and the unwilling you have to count with the unable. About men being able and getting the oportunity to write in the Ladies forum, please let them do it. As long as their intentions are good they should get the chance to do it. Men many times relate very goed to women's points of view and feelings but don't have enough chances to show it on everyday life. As for myself I value the opinions and feelings of men as good as those of women. In fact mostly they have a way of looking at things that I find refreshing and practical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now