concerning the 100 days post death ceremony

[Goanna]

The money should go in the envelope your invitation came in. It has your/ her name on it, so it doesn't get mixed up.

[Goanna]

I have just noticed the thread title. 100 days post death. Haha. I was thinking funeral. Sorry.

[elliottm]

Norm around here is 200.

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Ditto here, rule of thumb wld be:

200 for someone you know,

500 for close friend or family,

1000 for best friend or immediate family -

but essentially whatever they gave you last time so as not to lose face but not look like your being soaked (the wife keeps a spreadsheet which was inaugurated over the first 2-3 days of married life).

[1FinickyOne]

It depends on what you consider a lot - here, nobody gives a lot - - it depends on closeness of the relative and also sometimes the ability of the family to afford the expenses.

I think my wife used to give 100 baht now probably 2-500 baht...

I rarely attend. My wife is usually the representative for our family... but I don't see that anyone ever gives "a lot" based on affordability. It helps pay for the food for everyone and my wife always helps out with the preparation too...

[Deepinthailand]

Guilty of not looking at thread topic sorry thought it was funeral costs

[Top man]

Someone just said. (They wouldn't go to your funeral ) well I tell you something, last year and good friend of mine died in the next village, he been falang, I was shocked to see how happy people turned up. I would say about 2-3 hundred. Made me think a lot about thai culture.

[marquis22]

Can I wait and see how much I get before I donate?

[BlindMagician]

Write a long hand written letter of condolence, and put that in the envelope.

Test the elasticity of intercultural understanding. I enjoy such experiments.

[eastendanto]

As you know, the funeral goes for 3-4 days and everyone gets fed each day.

It's really just a donation to help. My wife's mum died recently and all up it cost around 50k and they got 30k in donations.

Yep my MIL same ...in 2013 my wife moved to UK to live with me when her mum passed away some 5 months later....my wife was 33 weeks preggers and her passport & mine were with UK Immigration applying for her leave to remain in UK... so we had no way of attending the funeral but I still got hit for about 50K costs. At the funeral my wife's sister had a queue a mile long of supposed creditors who were owed money by my MIL...suffice to say no funds were handed over ..... My FIL is one living walking, talking credit collection agency and I've lost count of the people who come knocking on our door when we're in the village saying he owes them money and my wife should pay her dad's debt...Put my wife straight with first person who knocked on the door... said never ever pay anyone for your dad's debt as if you pay one debt the next day the queue will run to the next village for people wanting payment.... So moral is don't pay off relatives debts whether their dead or alive as you will be stung...

[eastendanto]

Someone just said. (They wouldn't go to your funeral ) well I tell you something, last year and good friend of mine died in the next village, he been falang, I was shocked to see how happy people turned up. I would say about 2-3 hundred. Made me think a lot about thai culture.

cynical old fool that I am.....I would suggest they turned up for the free nosebag n drink, thinking that farang has money so there would be a good old spread laid on...

[Deepinthailand]

Someone just said. (They wouldn't go to your funeral ) well I tell you something, last year and good friend of mine died in the next village, he been falang, I was shocked to see how happy people turned up. I would say about 2-3 hundred. Made me think a lot about thai culture.

cynical old fool that I am.....I would suggest they turned up for the free nosebag n drink, thinking that farang has money so there would be a good old spread laid on...

Yes I agree you are a cynical old fool

[Khon Kaen Dave]

I usually give a cheque,drawn on the Nat West bank in Scunthorpe.!

[GOLDBUGGY]

I have been to a few relatives funerals in my time and I always give 1,000 Baht. To some families this is a very costly experience. I can't give an exact figure as it depends on the funeral but when all is said and done 200,000 Baht is probably a good average figure. Maybe others have more exact figures than I do.

[HidyHo]

It's not about giving money to the family, it's about chipping in to pay for the funeral. The amounts are recorded in a book, and when they come to your event, they are obliged to reciprocate. As well, each household will have 2 small yellow books which record what is paid out, and what is paid back.

Consequently, I generally don't give more than 500, so as not to burden the poorer people. But if they are friends, or doing it hard, I slip them a thousand bypassing the book. Sorry I don't have a pic of the book. Not house book. Smaller.

This has been my experience as well.

People joke around here but a funeral can be very financially stressful time for the living who have to take care of the dead. My experience has been that Thais use very much a "co-op" system to pitch in. Family members pitch in their time and money to take care of the arrangement and everyone who comes to the funeral pitch in financially.

My friend lost two brothers. Both time, she was in charge of taking the envelopes and recording what was contributed to the funeral. The family is expected to return the "favor" when it's their turn; often, returning similar amount of contribution. The ones with means (e.g. bosses or rich ones) tend to contribute more. I don't think these high amounts are expected to be returned.

There are daily costs and arrangements to be made(food, monks) and last day seems to be most expensive (gifts for monks and cremation fee).

I think your contribution should also account for yours or your partner's relationship with the deceased.

Edited July 18, 2016 by HidyHo

[louse1953]

Yup, we're 1000 baht unless we don't know the family very well, then its 500 baht.

It seems to be a wedding, funeral or monk celebration every week, costs us a fortune

The monks get nothing from me.

[Deepinthailand]

Yup, we're 1000 baht unless we don't know the family very well, then its 500 baht.

It seems to be a wedding, funeral or monk celebration every week, costs us a fortune

The monks get nothing from me.

The family give money to monks out of donations so if you give to family you give to monks. Don't forget in UK you have to pay for vicars to attend.

[louse1953]

Yup, we're 1000 baht unless we don't know the family very well, then its 500 baht.

It seems to be a wedding, funeral or monk celebration every week, costs us a fortune

The monks get nothing from me.

The family give money to monks out of donations so if you give to family you give to monks. Don't forget in UK you have to pay for vicars to attend.

I was referring to the monk celebration every week.The are always on the lookout for money.Right now with Khao Pan Sar,the envelopes are doing the rounds.They don't even give the envelopes out themselves,send the lackeys around.I have been presented with envelopes in Australia for somebody to take back to Thailand.Binned that.When i see some schools built or small clinics built or scholarships set up for kids from poor families,then i may reconsider.Instead all i see is another edifice being built to the glory of men.It's a business with no accountability or transparency.

[Deepinthailand]

Yup, we're 1000 baht unless we don't know the family very well, then its 500 baht.

It seems to be a wedding, funeral or monk celebration every week, costs us a fortune

The monks get nothing from me.

The family give money to monks out of donations so if you give to family you give to monks. Don't forget in UK you have to pay for vicars to attend.

I was referring to the monk celebration every week.The are always on the lookout for money.Right now with Khao Pan Sar,the envelopes are doing the rounds.They don't even give the envelopes out themselves,send the lackeys around.I have been presented with envelopes in Australia for somebody to take back to Thailand.Binned that.When i see some schools built or small clinics built or scholarships set up for kids from poor families,then i may reconsider.Instead all i see is another edifice being built to the glory of men.It's a business with no accountability or transparency.

Your choice.

I know at our temple food is given out by the monks on a daily basis. If you need a meal or a place to sleep they are there. It's a lifeline to some in the village so I won't knock them. We get an envelope maybe twice a year that's all and yes I give. Then that's my choice.

[dcnx]

You give, it's recorded, the receiver reciprocates, balancing it all out to zero. So what's the point unless it's a poor family without any funds whatsoever?

[cornishcarlos]

Yup, we're 1000 baht unless we don't know the family very well, then its 500 baht.

It seems to be a wedding, funeral or monk celebration every week, costs us a fortune

The monks get nothing from me.

The family give money to monks out of donations so if you give to family you give to monks. Don't forget in UK you have to pay for vicars to attend.

I was referring to the monk celebration every week.The are always on the lookout for money.Right now with Khao Pan Sar,the envelopes are doing the rounds.They don't even give the envelopes out themselves,send the lackeys around.I have been presented with envelopes in Australia for somebody to take back to Thailand.Binned that.When i see some schools built or small clinics built or scholarships set up for kids from poor families,then i may reconsider.Instead all i see is another edifice being built to the glory of men.It's a business with no accountability or transparency.

I was referring to the celebration when a families son joins a temple. The family throws a party, we all go and donate to the cause, just like a wedding

[ozyjon]

Yes, absolutely, give give give,

the more you give, the more virgins

you will get.

[Deepinthailand]

Yes, absolutely, give give give,

the more you give, the more virgins

you will get.

money.jpg

Oh dear never mind you will meet someone someday.

[Mosha]

For the main funeral event, many around here pay into a fund at the BAAC Agricultural bank for you city boys. Any ideas how much they payout? There is a scam also on a similar vein. The wife took over an account for her mum. This woman started turning up, at 1st once every couple of weeks. Someone died in a village a few miles away. 100 baht. That got to 2 or 3 times a week, and 2 or 3 people died. She was told not to come back.

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[thaibeachlovers]

As you know, the funeral goes for 3-4 days and everyone gets fed each day.

It's really just a donation to help. My wife's mum died recently and all up it cost around 50k and they got 30k in donations.

I appreciate you are trying to help, but this thread isn't about funerals and you are just confusing the issue.

Thanks to all that contributed.

[Deepinthailand]

Just finished a discussion on this 100 day post death ceremony with mrs's family . I mentioned I'd never heard of this and after a few blank looks it seems, the only two who were aware of it in a fashion they were the family elders. I was then told it just does not happen now (I presume they meant in our village and close by ones). The last time they could remember anything like this type of ceremony was some 15 yrs ago. Then it was only a family of the dead person get together for a meal. (when I said people were asked or should I say encouraged to give money they were horrified) just brought food.

So my question is: is it a ceremony at all or a hybrid of one. I also wonder if it's a village persific thing!!!!!

[thaibeachlovers]

Just finished a discussion on this 100 day post death ceremony with mrs's family . I mentioned I'd never heard of this and after a few blank looks it seems, the only two who were aware of it in a fashion they were the family elders. I was then told it just does not happen now (I presume they meant in our village and close by ones). The last time they could remember anything like this type of ceremony was some 15 yrs ago. Then it was only a family of the dead person get together for a meal. (when I said people were asked or should I say encouraged to give money they were horrified) just brought food.

So my question is: is it a ceremony at all or a hybrid of one. I also wonder if it's a village persific thing!!!!!

It's a cultural ceremony of long standing. Look it up on google if you're interested. They also have to sleep in the house after person dies so the person's ghost won't inhabit the house.

[Deepinthailand]

Just finished a discussion on this 100 day post death ceremony with mrs's family . I mentioned I'd never heard of this and after a few blank looks it seems, the only two who were aware of it in a fashion they were the family elders. I was then told it just does not happen now (I presume they meant in our village and close by ones). The last time they could remember anything like this type of ceremony was some 15 yrs ago. Then it was only a family of the dead person get together for a meal. (when I said people were asked or should I say encouraged to give money they were horrified) just brought food.

So my question is: is it a ceremony at all or a hybrid of one. I also wonder if it's a village persific thing!!!!!

The 100 day thing is alive and well to 'take care' of the lost one...Been to loads, sang songs at some...

BUT, if folk have to finance the 100 day thing and fear NOT getting their cash back from revelers then that is a different matter..

Remember the 100 day thing is a piss up, no gloomy faces, it is a PARTY...

If it's alive and well it isn't here so it must be a village thing some do some don't. Had lots of deaths this year never had one of these ceremonies.

[Deepinthailand]

The story, true Thai folk wear black for 100 days after a dead loved one passes...Then wear anything and a party.....Been to loads....

If folk have little cash and cannot organise a booze up then just family attend..If folk are on the breadline they take a little food to give to the Monks at their local Temple.....All on 100 days..

Not saying it isn't but it doesn't happen here is all I'm saying.

[onionluke]

Many, nae all the funerals in my village will shut down access in the streets. In respect party like rememberence feasts are。provided. Now in our villageva 20bhat insurance is collected monthly from every household, this pays for funerals . However, when a funeral occurs the envelopes get collected, donated。