Brit Bashing

[terry57]

I used to say the further I got away from England the more I found people liked the English......

It's still true, Robski.

Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, etc.... all these nations still respect the English as the true gentlemen that we are.

Walk into any office in Asia and see the admiration on the faces once they know you're an Englishman.

All these nations still tend to think of the Aussies as slightly backward, uneducated and uncultured.

That's probably why in Thailand for instance, an Aussie will always be pushed behind an English or American applicant when applying for a teaching position in a school or university.

Apart form the fact that no one outside Oz can understand their 'sheep shearer' accents, they're seen by many nations as imitation English, i.e. not quite up to the real thing.

well you would know mate as your great grand daddy stole that loaf of bread and they shipped him out to darling harbour.

your most probly my frigging cousin.

hope your a pom mate and if your not tell someone who is please.

just to be serious for a milli second,

is that true what you say about aussies being last pick in the teaching trade.

[terry57]

Ourmanflint, can't knock you for your patriotism (as much as I would love to), but please stop saying things like 'we as Britons....' 'us as a nation.....' United Kingdom? I can't see what's so united about it, and I for the most part I don't want to be part of it.......... not ranting mate, obviously you're proud of the place and fair play to ya, but when I think of England I remember that song by UB40 'burden of shame'

It's a farckin' toilet.

PEACE.

I thought if anybody would have recognised a wind up it would have been you!! Come on do you think I'm that much of a patriot...

only when there's a whinging Aussie near by!!

Do you know what I lived with a few aussies over the years and I've never heard such a bunch of whining sissys, I have no idea where they get the idea that we whinge, over there is a national

pastime.

I think this thread has confirmed one thing for me beyond all doubt, that no matter how bad things get back in Britain, it's eons better than being surrounded by a bunch of Aussie "blokes" and their incessantly boring whines going on and on about cricket for christs sake.

sorry mate but i could not give a flying toss about cricket or aussie rules football as some people think its a matter of life and death.

problem being maybe they aint got nothing else to stimulate them.

bit like those mad soccer holigans in england. bunch them all in together i say.

[terry57]

Apart form the fact that no one outside Oz can understand their 'sheep shearer' accents, they're seen by many nations as imitation English, i.e. not quite up to the real thing.

Let's do a visual comparison.

Here is your average toffee nosed Pom, who speaks with a plum in his mouth.

...and here is a rough and tough Aussie shearer...

For an Aussie, fleecing sheep is as easy as fleecing Poms of The Ashes.

Aaaah but MM its what he did to the sheep before he fleeced it that worries us poms .........

cracker dave,

but you must remember the big, tough, dumb aussie shearer wore a condom.

[terry57]

I've just thought of a new rallying flag for all Brits abroad especially here in Thailand

AT LEAST WE'RE NOT AUSTRALIAN

Now I think we should close this great topic as it has become nothing more than another Aussie grudge match...

enough is enough don't you think

toughen up a bit mate.

you trying to spoil our party.?

time for you to go home to your mummy.

[Mighty Mouse]

Minnie Mouse, another from your private collection of photos that you feel compelled to share with us. From what I've seen of your past posts....men in skimpy underpants, half naked men flexing their muscles...I don't think you care whether it's an Aussie or a Brit, you're obsessed with the male form. Freud would have probably said that you see yourself as a sheep. Baaaaaaah.

Somchai Jones, you are indeed a funny person. I like your style.

Just for you I thought I'd post a couple of pics of your good self. It seems that you like to show a bit of leg and flex your muscles too.

Is that pic in the middle a demonstration on how you embrace your fellow Brits?

[terry57]

:

Yes the poms have not learned to live with defeat, they whine long and loud about it. It is pathetic to see, and read the snivelling as they demonstraite they have not developed enough self confidence to accept defeat and criticsm.

Can you name a few contributions to the world England has made? The Goodies? Monty Python Soccer thugs? Union Officials? The steam engine, bugger, that was a Scot. Eddy the Eagle?

The English seem to have embraced foreign culture, making the Aussie born Ruppert Murdoch even more wealthy than he was before. The embrace of his high quality journalism by the English helped him towards world domination.

Yes I agree

Rue Britania.

I have yet to hear of an Australian take criticsm without resorting to 'name calling' and personal abuse and as for whinging you have us beat on that!! but I will give you a chance, you name one Australian who has contributed to the world and I will name 10 Englishmen. Ok over to you.

alright mate,

im going to take you up on that very serious challenge and kick your arse into outer space.

the greatest australian who has contributed to the world is,

TERRY57.

<deleted>,

i hope i get some back up here.

where are you dave.

[daleyboy]

Ok let me summarise.

All Brits are yobs called Wayne

All Aussies are sheep worriers called Bruce

All Americans are overweight slobs called Mary Lou

All Kiwis are sheep worriers called Kiri

All Welsh are sheep worriers called dafyd

So does that sound about right?

Give it up with the stereotyping. I am 6"8 with a skinhead and a large belly, but you would never find me in a pub getting drunk and loud, i am quite an amiable chap that prefers to have a quiet conversation without making a show of myself. And in fact every person i know is like that, and the only yobs i used to deal with when working on the doors were ones who were drunk, and believe me they weren't only Brits.

In my opinion if you cant handle your booze then don't drink, and that goes for all nationalities

[davidjtayler]

Apart form the fact that no one outside Oz can understand their 'sheep shearer' accents, they're seen by many nations as imitation English, i.e. not quite up to the real thing.

Let's do a visual comparison.

Here is your average toffee nosed Pom, who speaks with a plum in his mouth.

...and here is a rough and tough Aussie shearer...

For an Aussie, fleecing sheep is as easy as fleecing Poms of The Ashes.

Aaaah but MM its what he did to the sheep before he fleeced it that worries us poms .........

cracker dave,

but you must remember the big, tough, dumb aussie shearer wore a condom.

You're right Terry .. I did'nt see the wellies he's wearing behind flossie there ....

[davidjtayler]

:

Yes the poms have not learned to live with defeat, they whine long and loud about it. It is pathetic to see, and read the snivelling as they demonstraite they have not developed enough self confidence to accept defeat and criticsm.

Can you name a few contributions to the world England has made? The Goodies? Monty Python Soccer thugs? Union Officials? The steam engine, bugger, that was a Scot. Eddy the Eagle?

The English seem to have embraced foreign culture, making the Aussie born Ruppert Murdoch even more wealthy than he was before. The embrace of his high quality journalism by the English helped him towards world domination.

Yes I agree

Rue Britania.

I have yet to hear of an Australian take criticsm without resorting to 'name calling' and personal abuse and as for whinging you have us beat on that!! but I will give you a chance, you name one Australian who has contributed to the world and I will name 10 Englishmen. Ok over to you.

alright mate,

im going to take you up on that very serious challenge and kick your arse into outer space.

the greatest australian who has contributed to the world is,

TERRY57.

<deleted>,

i hope i get some back up here.

where are you dave.

For shooooooooooer ... hey misaterr yoo number one for shooooooer

[cm-happy]

Why all the back biting?? Patriotic fervor pounding in the breast?? Lets save all ihe invictive for the japs!

Today is Dec 7, mean anything to anyone? PEARL HARBOUR!! So Americans, British, Australians, and yes, Koreans, Chinese, sound off.

Much more satisfying than scratching each others eyes out.

[wolf359]

Pot calling the kettle black I think

Ok Wolf, here is a, by no way comprehensive list, of Australian inventions and firsts.

Give me 10 to 1! (coincidentally about Englands odds in the next test. )

Oz_inventions.doc

Challenge accepted, let me do my homework and I will be back !!!

[ourmanflint]

Why all the back biting?? Patriotic fervor pounding in the breast?? Lets save all ihe invictive for the japs!

Today is Dec 7, mean anything to anyone? PEARL HARBOUR!! So Americans, British, Australians, and yes, Koreans, Chinese, sound off.

Much more satisfying than scratching each others eyes out.

Lets not shall we... I hope you are joking by the way!! Who gives a flying **** about Pearl Harbour?? And I will not hear anything bad said against the Japanese, sexiest women in the world bar none and sushi to boot!!

[ourmanflint]

Ok Wolf, here is a, by no way comprehensive list, of Australian inventions and firsts.

Give me 10 to 1! (coincidentally about Englands odds in the next test. )

I used to live with this Aussie bloke, big time singer back in Sydney he said, anyway he loved the sauce did old Malc' and he swore blind to me that Australia invented Chardonnay (thats white wine to all you xxxx fellas!) !! Had to laugh, he was so proud of the fact as well.... had to let him down gently

[wolf359]

:

Can you name a few contributions to the world England has made? The Goodies? Monty Python Soccer thugs? Union Officials? The steam engine, bugger, that was a Scot. Eddy the Eagle?

The English seem to have embraced foreign culture, making the Aussie born Ruppert Murdoch even more wealthy than he was before. The embrace of his high quality journalism by the English helped him towards world domination.

Yes I agree

Rue Britania.

Just to put you right on one subject, the steam railway engine (I'm sure that is what you are referring to) was in fact fist built by Richard Trevithick (a Cornishman) at Coalbrookdale in Shropshire in 1803. Now I know that nearly all Cornish people think they do not live in England !!! but just for the sake of argument and geography lets say you do !!!

[Wolfie]

so we gunna wrap up this thread then, or what?

[wolf359]

so we gunna wrap up this thread then, or what?

Hang on I'm still doing my homework !!!

[Robski]

so we gunna wrap up this thread then, or what?

If you wrap this one up we'll only have to hi-jack another, so......... up to you....

[tk47]

:

Can you name a few contributions to the world England has made? The Goodies? Monty Python Soccer thugs? Union Officials? The steam engine, bugger, that was a Scot. Eddy the Eagle?

Sydney Harbour Bridge - British Steel, British Technology etc etc etc - like so many great bridges around the world. Built when the poor crims were still in the dark ages

All those cousins in Oz and I can't find a crim amongst em. I need to look deeper into my family history

[Don Quixote]

Just to put you right on one subject, the steam railway engine (I'm sure that is what you are referring to) was in fact fist built by Richard Trevithick (a Cornishman) at Coalbrookdale in Shropshire in 1803. Now I know that nearly all Cornish people think they do not live in England !!! but just for the sake of argument and geography lets say you do !!!

The steam engine was invented over 40 years before by a scotsman from Glasgow named James Watt who also married his cousin.

I wrote a paper on it when i was at university.

[slackula]

For my Aussie friends:

Ashes Jokes

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?

A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?

A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?

A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?

A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?

A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?

A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?

A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?

A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?

A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?

A. The person who ironed the cricket whites

[gbt71fa]

I've found the majority of Brits to be nice people; even those who like to get plastered at their favorite pub. As other posters have said, there are horrible people in every country. Being an American, I hear a lot of negative talk about the US, however most people aren't against Americans...just their government. I don't like who's in power either.

What's interesting is that, like one poster mentioned, a lot of Brits who are living/working here in Thailand seemed to be happy here and don't want to return to the UK...even though it's hot, humid and they can't have the same luxuries they had before. I would say that most of the Brits I've met are upset at what the UK has become in the past 10 years or so and they hold nothing back when complaining about it.

I DO like who is in power so...phttt!

[wolf359]

Just to put you right on one subject, the steam railway engine (I'm sure that is what you are referring to) was in fact fist built by Richard Trevithick (a Cornishman) at Coalbrookdale in Shropshire in 1803. Now I know that nearly all Cornish people think they do not live in England !!! but just for the sake of argument and geography lets say you do !!!

The steam engine was invented over 40 years before by a scotsman from Glasgow named James Watt who also married his cousin.

I wrote a paper on it when i was at university.

Fair enough but the but the thread was about England inventing the modern railway and the 'confusion' of an Australian saying it was invented by a Scot. I got that out of a book.

[wolf359]

Thomas Savery an English Military Engineer first patented the steam engine in 1698. I got that off the web !!

[wolf359]

Oh dear !! Thomas Newcomen an English blacksmith invented the Atmospheric Steam Engine in 1712. I got that off the web to

[gbt71fa]

[

mate,

only an american could write a load of bollicks like that and every other punter on this forum knows exactly what i mean.

of you go and have a nice sleep.

so true, thats calling the kettle black alright.

the loudest ,most opinionated race has to be americans,and of course due to their present president also the most disliked race in the world.

Yes, but we don't care what you think and there isn't much you can do about it. Keep it up and we will take away our aid package for you. The world hate us (and now the British are targeted, too) but still wants our money and expects us to show up when the shat hits the fan. France is really working wonders being in charge of the U.N. force routing out Hammas.....bite me...from an uncouth American Capitalist Pig Imperial Warmonger!

[Robski]

Yeh but George Stephenson ran the first modern railway between Liverpool and Manchester, and the locomotive steam engine that he used, was called The Rocket. I didn't need an encyclopedia either.

[tk47]

Yeh but George Stephenson ran the first modern railway between Liverpool and Manchester, and the locomotive steam engine that he used, was called The Rocket. I didn't need an encyclopedia either.

Got to disagree with you there. It was Stockton - Darlington and we have the Rocket here oop north

[Robski]

I've found the majority of Brits to be nice people; even those who like to get plastered at their favorite pub. As other posters have said, there are horrible people in every country. Being an American, I hear a lot of negative talk about the US, however most people aren't against Americans...just their government. I don't like who's in power either.

What's interesting is that, like one poster mentioned, a lot of Brits who are living/working here in Thailand seemed to be happy here and don't want to return to the UK...even though it's hot, humid and they can't have the same luxuries they had before. I would say that most of the Brits I've met are upset at what the UK has become in the past 10 years or so and they hold nothing back when complaining about it.

I DO like who is in power so...phttt!

Says a hel_l of a lot about you, BTW are you here to bash brits or just to be generally obnoxious?

[Robski]

Yeh but George Stephenson ran the first modern railway between Liverpool and Manchester, and the locomotive steam engine that he used, was called The Rocket. I didn't need an encyclopedia either.

Got to disagree with you there. It was Stockton - Darlington and we have the Rocket here oop north

Yeh stockton and darlington, I couldn't for the life of me remember the place where it was. Manchester tho', right?

That's in ENGLAND!

[tk47]

Yeh but George Stephenson ran the first modern railway between Liverpool and Manchester, and the locomotive steam engine that he used, was called The Rocket. I didn't need an encyclopedia either.

Got to disagree with you there. It was Stockton - Darlington and we have the Rocket here oop north

Yeh stockton and darlington, I couldn't for the life of me remember the place where it was. Manchester tho', right?

That's in ENGLAND!

Sorry but gotta larf at that... they can have Man Utd but Stockton and Darlington is North East England (near Middlesbrough)