Farang+ Thai partner choices.

[alliswell]

i'm asian girl and has been living in thai for 3 years now.

 

my observation on thai girls and based on the past experiences of my husband that mostly thai girls are kind, polite, sweet talking and very good in taking care of their partner.

My advice is TAKE YOUR TIME (>4 years) to get to know them really well. 

Dont be a big spender when u are together etc fancy trips, fancy hotels, little bling2 here and there, branded stuff. Once u do this they will expect it in regular basic. 

Some ladies i know, they are in a relationship but they keep their option open for a better catch so be careful. 

 

I'm not saying all Thai girls are the same but u need to look hard to find the ONE in Thailand. 

 

Goodluck!

 

 

[pigeonjake]

Life's an adventure,

Just come and see what happens, just go with the flow

 

[elgordo38]

22 hours ago, dansbkk said:

Lighten up a little and relax.  You are not buying a televison set, you are looking for a life partner.You can't make lists and plan this adventure step by step.  You may meet someone online on a dating site and think you have meet the woman of your dreams, but always remember, online is anonymous and you never know for sure who is actually writing to you.  Many ladies don't have the written english language skills to communicate and so some internet cafes have designated correspondents to type replies.  Learn some Thai, come over and spend some quality time here and you may be amazed at who you might meet, just by living your everyday life. I have met some really nice people just shopping at a mall or standing in the laundry detergent aisle at Big C or Tesco.  Ladies approach to help as i look bewildered by the choices of fabric softener, and use the opportunity to start a conversation.  They all seem to focus on the shopping cart a while to decide if this is a single guys cart, or if I'm shopping for my wife or girlfriend.  Phone numbers or line ID is usually offered, just in case I have any laundry questions 5555.  

So again relax, throw away the lists and timetables and enjoy your life.  If love bites you it will bite you.  

Quote You are not buying a television set, you are looking for a life partner. unquote For some it may prove cheaper and more entertaining and when your not happy you can turn it off or pull the plug. If your wife proves to be to much of a problem I guess you can always pull the plug on yourself. I have known this to happen. Quote So again relax, throw away the lists and timetables and enjoy your life.  If love bites you it will bite you.  unquote is quite true as well. It worked for me but then for everyone the results are different on expectations and results. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Trial and error. 

[wow64]

Op was there a question that you needed answered or is this a journal? 

[thailand49]

I guess there is no harm in dreaming?  A sucker born everyday?  I wish you luck but don't jump from your balcony if it all blows up in your face?

[Fabricus]

On 11/6/2016 at 3:51 PM, rogeroc said:

I suspect you would not be saying this if it was you who wanted children with your partner. We all have a tendency to invent statements and beliefs to support and convince ourselves we made the right life decisions. 

 

What you are saying is really a very harsh condemnation of the majority, glossed over in nice poetic Englsh.

 

Let's see if I can get these quotes right. 

 

Village Farang wrote:

 

Women who are not slaves to their hormonal urges and have the ability to think for themselves rather than blindly following the herd down a path not of their choosing, are true gems.  They standout against the sea of normality and mediocrity which swallows most people and produces neglected offspring. 

 

RogerC replied:

 

I suspect you would not be saying this if it was you who wanted children with your partner.

 

--------------------

 

Yes, RogerC is  right.

 

What you have here is a little Thai girl who, motivated by money and knowing nothing about life, "tweaked" her preferences to keep the ATM.

 

Ultimately it's a sad tale as the little girl will never understand the joys of adulthood, and is destined to an empty life once her ATM passes away.

 

Normal women age gracefully in the company of their children and grand children. For most women, it's perhaps the greatest pleasure that life brings.   

 

-------------------------

 

Go to any assisted care facility (or as we call them in England, Old People's Homes) and you'll see that all the men and women ever talk about is their kids and grand kids and great grand kids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[rogeroc]

Yes Fabricus it is pretty well what i was getting at. Since being in Thailand i have just about managed to get my head around the 20 plus year age gap scenario but i strongly believe that age gap should be avoided (for a permanent relaionship) if it is likely to result in a woman missing the opportunity to have children. As you say the earning power or pension of a Western man could, i am sure, take a Thai lady along a path she would not ideally choose. Also not to be forgotten that many Thai ladies would consider a mixed Western / Thai child highly desirable.

Edited November 7, 2016 by rogeroc

[villagefarang]

Say what you will about me but please refrain from the insulting putdowns of my amazing wife.  That is surprisingly distasteful, even coming from you.  After 19 years together I suggest I know her better than anyone else.  We are both fluent in each other's language so there is no language or communication barrier either.  We chose together and make no effort to force others to follow the path we have chosen.  You are free to follow the herd if you wish and may very well be happy doing so.

[Anon999]

On 03/11/2016 at 4:55 AM, Elkski said:

Well considering my first wife and I were together for 30 years I think my thinking  can be fruitful.

I should add that I spent time in BKK, Ayutthaya, Pattaya, Rayong, Sriracha, pang gna, Koh Samui, Phuket, Hau Hin, Phitsanuluk, and koh Phi Phi.

I guess I am so new that I don't know what quality of women are within my reach.  So I guess I'm asking about who my target demographic should be considering my age and willingness to live part time in thailand and learn the culture. I have read enough forums to know that many of you are just trolls and sometimes I laugh.  I have thick skin. But please try to share your knowledge with me. 

Why do I need good luck?.. I don't believe Luck has much place in love and relationships. I do hope to fall in love but based on my past that occurs very slowly for me.  It seems that Thai women know so quickly.  I hope that didn't open up the flood gates of trolls? I hope to keep my  integrity.  Although sex is 30% of a successful relationship and  some just wont do! I am not into training from scratch or trying to change lazy habits.  With all the modern methods we now have for reaching vast numbers of partners online its a new and evolving game. I do think it best that I come to Thailand and live someplace and try to meet people in non bar settings. I know I should take my time to fit in some and that may bear the best fruit..  I have already poked my nose in it just on my initial visits.  I like the smell.

You could also try the North and North East (Isaan) as they are different yet again to other parts. If you want to protect your health and your bank balance, as health insurance gets ever more expensive year on year and becomes very expensive in due course. Then consider a government employee or civil servant as you will be covered for most health problems. For instance heart bypass can cost a million baht. 

[shadmo63]

Say what you will about me but please refrain from the insulting putdowns of my amazing wife.  That is surprisingly distasteful, even coming from you.  After 19 years together I suggest I know her better than anyone else.  We are both fluent in each other's language so there is no language or communication barrier either.  We chose together and make no effort to force others to follow the path we have chosen.  You are free to follow the herd if you wish and may very well be happy doing so.

You realise you implicitly criticized other's wives, but now you're getting touchy when people react. You're obviously very happy in your situation and good on you. Others are happy in theirs. As you rightly say, every one has their own path, but there's no need to pejoratively call it 'following the herd'. Cheers


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[villagefarang]

1 hour ago, shadmo63 said:

You realise you implicitly criticized other's wives, but now you're getting touchy when people react. You're obviously very happy in your situation and good on you. Others are happy in theirs. As you rightly say, every one has their own path, but there's no need to pejoratively call it 'following the herd'. Cheers

 

There is a very big difference between what I said and what Fabricus said.  He doesn't need you making excuses for his bad behavior. 

[rogeroc]

I agree with Shadmore63 it is yourself VF that started the insults  ( i accept that they were more generalised but barely less offensive, especially to women). I sometimes suspect you do not realise how harshly some of your comments and observations come across.

 

Because of the frequent large age differences in Western / Thai circles the question of children is very relevent to this thread. From a personal perspective when i married my first wife (English and in her 20's) she was absolutely adamant that she did not want children and planned life's path that way. By 32 she was even more adamant that she must have children! She was following her instincts and desires, not the herd.

 

 

 

 

[Elkski]

Each man has different ideas of what he wants.    I value different things than the next guy.   I am thinking a spreadsheet is warranted.    

[villagefarang]

9 hours ago, rogeroc said:

I agree with Shadmore63 it is yourself VF that started the insults  ( i accept that they were more generalised but barely less offensive, especially to women). I sometimes suspect you do not realise how harshly some of your comments and observations come across.

 

Because of the frequent large age differences in Western / Thai circles the question of children is very relevent to this thread. From a personal perspective when i married my first wife (English and in her 20's) she was absolutely adamant that she did not want children and planned life's path that way. By 32 she was even more adamant that she must have children! She was following her instincts and desires, not the herd.

 

You are entitled to your opinion and while I might not agree I would certainly not attack you or your wife personally for your beliefs or opinions.  I would also refrain from commenting on the specifics of your situation because it would be distasteful to do so.  If you choose to personalize my general comments there really isn’t anything I can do about that.

[Fabricus]

17 hours ago, rogeroc said:

I agree with Shadmore63 it is yourself VF that started the insults  ( i accept that they were more generalised but barely less offensive, especially to women). I sometimes suspect you do not realise how harshly some of your comments and observations come across.

 

Because of the frequent large age differences in Western / Thai circles the question of children is very relevent to this thread. From a personal perspective when i married my first wife (English and in her 20's) she was absolutely adamant that she did not want children and planned life's path that way. By 32 she was even more adamant that she must have children! She was following her instincts and desires, not the herd.

 

 

 

 

 

Let me stress I wasn't insulting anyone's wife or GF.

 

We're all adults and ought to understand girls and women.

 

If I'm mega rich and tell a little Thai girlie I want to marry her but don't want kids, she might nod enthusiastically and echo my sentiments. This may be due to greed; it may be because of unresolved psychological issues. We're all adults. We all know this.

 

Similarly, if I'm Donald Trump and tell a little Thai girlie I want 9 sons, she'll probably nod and say she wants ten. This ain't rocket science.

 

------

 

@VillageFarang. You described your wife as a "rare gem" because, at the grand old age of 23, she told you she wanted a childless marriage.

 

You're a big boy and ought to know exactly what was going on here. The poor girl was either blinded by greed or had issues requiring professional counselling. 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

[villagefarang]

30 minutes ago, Fabricus said:

 

Let me stress I wasn't insulting anyone's wife or GF.

 

We're all adults and ought to understand girls and women.

 

If I'm mega rich and tell a little Thai girlie I want to marry her but don't want kids, she might nod enthusiastically and echo my sentiments. This may be due to greed; it may be because of unresolved psychological issues. We're all adults. We all know this.

 

Similarly, if I'm Donald Trump and tell a little Thai girlie I want 9 sons, she'll probably nod and say she wants ten. This ain't rocket science.

 

------

 

@VillageFarang. You described your wife as a "rare gem" because, at the grand old age of 23, she told you she wanted a childless marriage.

 

You're a big boy and ought to know exactly what was going on here. The poor girl was either blinded by greed or had issues requiring professional counselling. 

 

 

There you go continuing your insults.  What the hell is wrong with you?  Have you ever heard of this thing called love or perhaps mutual understanding?

Edited November 10, 2016 by villagefarang

[Fabricus]

7 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

There you go continuing your insults.  What the hell is wrong with you?  Have you ever heard of this thing called love or perhaps mutual understanding?

 

Have a nice day, Mr VF!

 

 

 

 

[shadmo63]

10 minutes ago, Fabricus said:

 

Let me stress I wasn't insulting anyone's wife or GF.

 

We're all adults and ought to understand girls and women.

 

If I'm mega rich and tell a little Thai girlie I want to marry her but don't want kids, she might nod enthusiastically and echo my sentiments. This may be due to greed; it may be because of unresolved psychological issues. We're all adults. We all know this.

 

Similarly, if I'm Donald Trump and tell a little Thai girlie I want 9 sons, she'll probably nod and say she wants ten. This ain't rocket science.

 

------

 

@VillageFarang. You described your wife as a "rare gem" because, at the grand old age of 23, she told you she wanted a childless marriage.

 

You're a big boy and ought to know exactly what was going on here. The poor girl was either blinded by greed or had issues requiring professional counselling. 

 

 

That last sentence is unnecessary flaming. 

My 18 year old daughter is adamant she never wants to have children. I think you're drawing a long bow, and maybe projecting what you want or have. ie. children. Is a woman who does not want children better or worse than one that does? The answer to this question is all a matter of personal choice and opinion.

Family sizes in Thailand have dived rapidly over the last 40 years. Life on the farm is not what it used to be. The planet is overpopulated and degraded and arguably getting worse. We are overlords of the Anthropogenic Extinction. There's a madman in the Whitehouse. Not such a bad idea to have no children. 

[Fabricus]

3 minutes ago, shadmo63 said:

That last sentence is unnecessary flaming. 

My 18 year old daughter is adamant she never wants to have children. The planet is overpopulated and degraded and arguably getting worse.

 

We are overlords of the Anthropogenic Extinction. There's a madman in the Whitehouse. Not such a bad idea to have no children. 

 

RE: We are overlords of the Anthropogenic Extinction

 

Are we?

 

I've no idea what you're on about, and oddly enough couldn't give a toss. 

 

RE: There's a madman in the Whitehouse

 

Better than a wicked witch. Check out Roe vs. Wade and see who really values life. It sure as shit ain't Clinton. 

 

 

 

 

[shadmo63]

10 minutes ago, Fabricus said:

 

RE: We are overlords of the Anthropogenic Extinction

 

Are we?

 

I've no idea what you're on about, and oddly enough couldn't give a toss. 

 

RE: There's a madman in the Whitehouse

 

Better than a wicked witch. Check out Roe vs. Wade and see who really values life. It sure as shit ain't Clinton. 

 

Hmm.....I don''t  think I want to argue with you and your religious beliefs.

[rogeroc]

6 hours ago, shadmo63 said:

That last sentence is unnecessary flaming. 

My 18 year old daughter is adamant she never wants to have children. I think you're drawing a long bow, and maybe projecting what you want or have. ie. children. Is a woman who does not want children better or worse than one that does? The answer to this question is all a matter of personal choice and opinion.

Family sizes in Thailand have dived rapidly over the last 40 years. Life on the farm is not what it used to be. The planet is overpopulated and degraded and arguably getting worse. We are overlords of the Anthropogenic Extinction. There's a madman in the Whitehouse. Not such a bad idea to have no children. 

 

Agreed on the surface definitely not such a bad idea not to have children but i think there is a probelm if it is set in stone. People can and do change their minds and this is ultimately about desires and instincts, feeling unfulfilled, continuing the family line, wider family, someone to take care in later life, possible loneliness etc, etc.

 

In summary i think every woman deserves to have a child if she so wants.

[villagefarang]

8 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

Agreed on the surface definitely not such a bad idea not to have children but i think there is a probelm if it is set in stone. People can and do change their minds and this is ultimately about desires and instincts, feeling unfulfilled, continuing the family line, wider family, someone to take care in later life, possible loneliness etc, etc.

 

In summary i think every woman deserves to have a child if she so wants.

...and couples who decide not to produce offspring should not be condemned for their choices.  We have evolved beyond basic instinct and have a brain capable of overriding the more primitive parts of that brain.  Which part of the brain one chooses to rely upon is up to the individual of course.

Edited November 11, 2016 by villagefarang

[Elkski]

Back on topic a bit.   Do you gents require your thai interests to get tested before taking risks?   At a minimum HIV.  But nice to know the other standard things plus nice to get a " type specific HSV 1 and 2 " test to.    But that last test costs 89$ US and I can't find many places in Thailand that offer it?

[villagefarang]

11 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Back on topic a bit.   Do you gents require your thai interests to get tested before taking risks?   At a minimum HIV.  But nice to know the other standard things plus nice to get a " type specific HSV 1 and 2 " test to.    But that last test costs 89$ US and I can't find many places in Thailand that offer it?

Until you are living together in a committed relationship I would recommend condoms.  That will protect you from unwanted pregnancy and most but not all sexually transmitted diseases.

[rogeroc]

4 hours ago, Elkski said:

Back on topic a bit.   Do you gents require your thai interests to get tested before taking risks?   At a minimum HIV.  But nice to know the other standard things plus nice to get a " type specific HSV 1 and 2 " test to.    But that last test costs 89$ US and I can't find many places in Thailand that offer it?

 

No, especially as you are not planning to have kids. You have to dig deep into the Internet to fnd the real truth about and risks from HIV and Std's, for some reason the authorities seem to want to give the impression that we are likely to die if we have unprotected sex!  However definitely do not rely on a Thai lady for birth control.

 

You are far more lkely to suffer serious harm on the roads (or even the pavements here) than through sexual activity.

Edited November 11, 2016 by rogeroc

[JAFO]

8 hours ago, Elkski said:

Back on topic a bit.   Do you gents require your thai interests to get tested before taking risks?   At a minimum HIV.  But nice to know the other standard things plus nice to get a " type specific HSV 1 and 2 " test to.    But that last test costs 89$ US and I can't find many places in Thailand that offer it?

 

Elkski,

Seriously?  Come on now.  I have enjoyed your honesty in this thread but I think you are way over analyzing this scenario.  I would think at your age this is just common sense type stuff.  I mean clearly if you are dating a girl that was in the sex trade and you feel you have found the gal you want in your life it would be something to consider (and condoms mandatory until confirmed) but you would have to be the judge based on the company you keep.

 

I would personally never ask a women if she has had a recent HIV test and if you met a woman and she didn't slap you I would be surprised.  What if she asked you?  My wife would have likely been insulted. But again though  it all boils down to the type of woman you are choosing. 

 

I personally think you are over analyzing this.  It' doesn't sound healthy natural at all. It appears like an engineering DOE not a relationship. You seem to be overlooking the real world chemistry and compatibility.  If that exists the rest is easy. 

 

 

[JAFO]

9 hours ago, villagefarang said:

...and couples who decide not to produce offspring should not be condemned for their choices.  We have evolved beyond basic instinct and have a brain capable of overriding the more primitive parts of that brain.  Which part of the brain one chooses to rely upon is up to the individual of course.

Absolutely. I think somewhere around our 4th date or so my wife now brought up the question and stated she didn't want children and wanted to be honest with me about it.  She stated she didn't want children for a host of reasons.  She said she hopes that doesn't end our relationship. I bust out laughing and said I had a Vasectomy in my early 40s so it wasn't going to happen so I am glad you don't.  

 

To VFs point  in this day and age adults are making calculated cognizant decisions not to have children and it has nothing to do with the woman or man be broken or something is wrong with them.  It tells me that they are making a decision that suits their expectations in life.  I know many women in the US that have no intention of having children. 

 

 

Edited November 11, 2016 by JAFO

[nuakmuaynina]

2 hours ago, JAFO said:

 

Elkski,

Seriously?  Come on now.  I have enjoyed your honesty in this thread but I think you are way over analyzing this scenario.  I would think at your age this is just common sense type stuff.  I mean clearly if you are dating a girl that was in the sex trade and you feel you have found the gal you want in your life it would be something to consider (and condoms mandatory until confirmed) but you would have to be the judge based on the company you keep.

 

I would personally never ask a women if she has had a recent HIV test and if you met a woman and she didn't slap you I would be surprised.  What if she asked you?  My wife would have likely been insulted. But again though  it all boils down to the type of woman you are choosing. 

 

I personally think you are over analyzing this.  It' doesn't sound healthy natural at all. It appears like an engineering DOE not a relationship. You seem to be overlooking the real world chemistry and compatibility.  If that exists the rest is easy. 

 

 

 

 

As a woman and a responsible adult, I would not be offended at all.  I asked my partner. Its not over analysing.  STD's are on the rise, and I know people with HIV and their lives are wrecked. the non life threatening ones can leave women infertile.  

 

Its not about the company people keep either, most of them carry no symptoms, and usually its people you would not suspect that carry things. 

 

 

[Elkski]

23 minutes ago, nuakmuaynina said:

 

 

As a woman and a responsible adult, I would not be offended at all.  I asked my partner. Its not over analysing.  STD's are on the rise, and I know people with HIV and their lives are wrecked. the non life threatening ones can leave women infertile.  

 

Its not about the company people keep either, most of them carry no symptoms, and usually its people you would not suspect that carry things. 

 

 

Thanks for saying exactly what needed to be said.   

It's 2016.  HIV tests are close to free and results in 15 mins.  Who is smart or stupid is irrelevant when it comes to STI's. How often are condoms and to be fair, dental dams used during foreplay? In a country where using a sex worker is very common it seems more important to my mind.   I do wish I could be the ostrich. Unfortunately I am very educated in this area.   If you understand the latency periods and do some simple math it doesn't take many partners on either side to go exponential!    There is no argument.  It is the right talk to have with a future partner.  This thinking would stop the sex trade. 

I should add that I hear all to often on the Thai dating sites that the woman will only date farang because her Thai husband cheated on her.  So a woman with only one partner can be at risk.   And HIV and many can be transmitted in non sexual activity. 

Edited November 11, 2016 by Elkski

[JAFO]

Well again it's my opinion and I again say it's about the company one keeps especially Internet dating along with being extremely sexually active. Same for the partner if they appear to be that way then I agree it would be best to ask if you want to play in that arena. I respect the folks that want to go that route and if it's a big concern then you should proceed to question your partner. I doubt I could ever do it. Seems so mechanical.  " Hi  I really like you and would like to see you more however, can I see your most recent STD and HIV test results please" .LOL.  What do you do if she says  " I don't have one" Make her go and wait for the results?

 

All I can say is I am glad I am not dating anymore if this is what it is coming too. Next up is blood tox screens for cholestrol and glucose levels coupled with a drug test.  " Hi  would you mind peeing in this cup for me, I want to submit for a screen. I hope your not offended but I want to be absolutely sure you are OK"  

 

Good Luck Elkski with your search.