Merry Christmas Everyone - Post your christmas themed jokes here :)

[Crossy]

 

 

 

 

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[overherebc]

New elf starts work with santa and is being introduced to the reindeer.

This is rudolf the brown nose says santa.

Don't you mean red nose says the elf.

Renamed, says santa since he got old he runs behind dancer but can't stop as quickly.

[wayned]

The night before Christmas

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
the whole goddamn family was drunk as a louse,
with mom in the < deleted > house and dad in jail,
I sat myself down to a cold glass of ale.

When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter,
I got off my sister to see what was the matter.
And what to my stoned-out eyes should appear,
but a shitty old sleigh and eight <deleted> reindeer.

With a dirty old man who was beating his dick,
I knew at that moment, it must be St. Nick.
He flew across the lawn and up the house wall,
he cried onward you bastards or it's off with your balls.

Then down the chimney he came like a bat out of hell,
I knew at that moment, the fat <deleted> fell.
He filled all the stockings with drugs and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother who's queer.

And up again he went with a fart,
that son of a < deleted > blew my chimney apart.
And I heard him say as he flew out of sight,
"piss on you all it's been a hell of a night."

[chickenslegs]

[chickenslegs]

 

Edited December 23, 2016 by chickenslegs

[Rinso]