Why Say It, If You Don't Mean It.

[SunsetT]

I think that it is only though criticism, constructive or otherwise, that we become aware of our faults and shortcomings. This enables us to choose to improve and become better at what we do, and also forces us to question ourselves  in order to grow and 'mature' to become a better person......if we choose to.

 

I believe this not causing  'loss of face' aspect of Thai culture is seriously holding back the development of Thailand and Thai consciousness into a mature efficient country with mature thinking and feeling people.

[Macthehat]

Went to the Samsung shop in Surin last week and left a phone in to be fixed ....when I asked the nice lady at reception when would be the best time to call back for my phone she said "when it has been fixed"  

Frustrating but so true .... I've had similar experiences with work I've had done around the house , getting a time or date for commencing or completion of jobs is virtually impossible . Used to really annoy  me now I go with the flow ..

Edited December 19, 2016 by Macthehat

[sn1per]

I made an appointment to meet my girlfriend in Bangkok........ she never turned up 

[SunsetT]

On 18/12/2016 at 8:15 AM, KittenKong said:

 

Do you think that Thais ever feel any remorse or guilt for anything? I dont.

 

Thais dont arrive on time or dont do what they say they will do because they simply dont care in the slightest about anyone other than themselves. They dont care that the person who they have promised to do the work for has arranged his schedule to ensure that the work can be done properly, or that he wants the work done by a specific date/time for a specific reason that is important to him.

 

This is exactly the same reason why they double-park in the middle of a busy road when there is an empty parking space 5 yards away, and why they drop litter everywhere, and why so many of them will scam and lie and cheat and generally disobey the law: they simply dont care how much inconvenience they may be causing to others, as long as what they do suits themselves.

Thais do not feel any remourse or guilt  because they do not have a conscience, as most of us do in the West, because a conscience is not naturally innate. It is a genetically inherited cultural 'meme' which in our evolution we have aquired mainly from Christianity but which is absent from Buddhism and Thai culture:

Common secular or scientific views regard the capacity for conscience as probably genetically determined, with its subject probably learned or imprinted (like language) as part of a culture.^{[4]........from Wikipedia.}

[Deepinthailand]

36 minutes ago, georgemandm said:

RIPPED OFF BY THEY THAI WIFE OR GF 

not by  tradesmen .

 

 

Well you managed to slip it in there again. When are you going home! !!

[micmichd]

On 18/12/2016 at 9:08 AM, KittenKong said:

 

Well, if the civilised world you come from behaves like that then I wouldn't call it very civilised.

 

Of course Thailand isnt the only place to have inconsiderate and selfish people in it, but the proportion certainly does seem to be higher here. Where I lived in Europe (not the UK) people kept appointments, didn't drop litter, would never double park, and were generally reliable and trustworthy and honest. Part of this may be due to the law there being much more strict and much better applied, or maybe it was just some sense of responsibility that was drummed into them in school (that certainly doesnt seem to happen here), but either way the end result was the same.

 

I certainly managed to be self-employed there for 30 years, working for the public, during which time I never let anyone down, never overcharged or did a bad job, and always had a full order book.

Where I lived in Europe, there was this principle of meeting again. Many people felt free not to keep any promise when they realized they would never see me again. 

[Bangkok Barry]

On 12/18/2016 at 8:15 AM, KittenKong said:

 

Do you think that Thais ever feel any remorse or guilt for anything? I dont.

 

Thais dont arrive on time or dont do what they say they will do because they simply dont care in the slightest about anyone other than themselves. They dont care that the person who they have promised to do the work for has arranged his schedule to ensure that the work can be done properly, or that he wants the work done by a specific date/time for a specific reason that is important to him.

 

This is exactly the same reason why they double-park in the middle of a busy road when there is an empty parking space 5 yards away, and why they drop litter everywhere, and why so many of them will scam and lie and cheat and generally disobey the law: they simply dont care how much inconvenience they may be causing to others, as long as what they do suits themselves.

 

In a nutshell, you cannot discipline a Thai. Ever. About anything. So when - not if - something goes wrong just count to 10. Or 100. And the need to hit your head against the wall will pass. Until the next time.

[smotherb]

On 12/17/2016 at 4:52 PM, Johnniey said:

Thais, especially drunks, often spend money they haven't earned. 

 I'd think spending money they haven't earned is more applicable to ne'er-do-wells in general than to either Thais or drunks.

[KBsinter]

1 hour ago, georgemandm said:

Ok you know it all .

you are joking are you not , I for one never ever had a problem with Thais working for me .

and if I pay not over the right price I want it done my way not the thai way .

 

And there lies the problem they know the quality of there work,will not stand up 

to inspection,very few have any respect for there work,and the falang tells 

it as he see"s it...................

[monk280915]

I have one better than that. We're trying to sell a new house on Koh Samui & can't even get a real estate company to call us back to list the house. We have to keep calling them, make appointments to view & they don't show up. We have contacted 10 different companies.

 

[laislica]

On 18/12/2016 at 9:27 AM, geriatrickid said:

On 18/12/2016 at 2:12 AM, cyberfarang said:

You have been in Thailand for 14 years and yet you still have no idea how the system works here.

 

In Thailand making appointments and expecting those providing a service or workers to keep to those appointments is a big mistake. We have a man who comes in and cuts down our garden once a month. My girlfriend just phones the man`s wife and tells her we want our garden done please. His wife says OK; I`ll tell my husband. Then, and only when the man is ready and feels up to doing the job, his wife phones and says he is on his way. Once the man is here he always does an excellent job and it`s been this way for years.  It was similar last year when we wanted some external electrical wiring put up outside. We called an electrician we know and he told us, I`ll let you know when I`m ready. 2 weeks later he turned up to complete the work. No problem as I have become used to this now.

 

This is how things work here, get used to it.

 

 

 

 

You provide a vlauable learning experience for those who are patient enough to read and think it through. The Thai approach you describe is an alternative to the western approach of   making an appointment, an appointment that can be 3 months +away because of the work schedule. The  Thai approach is to fill in the job as time allows. Some jobs take longer than expected, and others can be done quickly.  Sometimes the Thai approach is more efficient in terms of the worker's  time management.

 

We live half time in Thailand and half in Spain and for sure, cyberfang's description fits both countries very well.

In Spain, an appointment means, not before LOL

In Thailand, my wife is often getting work done on our houses but she is very canny and things usually get done more or less as required and on time.

Our best worker is her brother !!

Good to be part of a great family!

 

As Deepinthailand indicated, When you find a good worker, take care of him

This is the best advice on this thread IMHO

 

 

 

[wigan]

Just curious, I like most working westerners hate my farang job( working in Oz at moment), but I turn up on time everyday to earn regular money to feed and look after my and my family's needs!

Does the Thai attitude of "no show" and hence no money show a lack of interest in their own families!

Dont sound like they give a damn about them either,???

[whatproblem]

On 18/12/2016 at 0:11 PM, Deepinthailand said:

Live in the UK then let down all the time by so called trades. Everywhere you look there's fly tipping and the streets are filthy. Schools don't teach kids how to be clean nor do most patents so please stop the Thai this thai that really a well used  phrase if you really don't like the place you call home move to another home.

Not where I'm from in the uk ,and very rarely does a tradesman let me down there,but here they want holiday before they start a job

[Deepinthailand]

12 minutes ago, wigan said:

Just curious, I like most working westerners hate my farang job( working in Oz at moment), but I turn up on time everyday to earn regular money to feed and look after my and my family's needs!

Does the Thai attitude of "no show" and hence no money show a lack of interest in their own families!

Dont sound like they give a damn about them either,???

No not at all the biggest problem is they quote for a job but have many jobs ongoing at any time. Then they quote for a bigger job with more money so guess what job they do. Its very family orientated here.

[SaintLouisBlues]

10 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said:

No not at all the biggest problem is they quote for a job but have many jobs ongoing at any time. Then they quote for a bigger job with more money so guess what job they do. Its very family orientated here.

Family is everything here

[laislica]

5 minutes ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

9 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said:

No not at all the biggest problem is they quote for a job but have many jobs ongoing at any time. Then they quote for a bigger job with more money so guess what job they do. Its very family orientated here.

Family is everything here

 

This might be true but in my opinion not for all Thai people.
Look at the way Thai men are brought up.
Little boys can do no wrong, should they fall down at least six ladies will rush forward to kiss and cuddle the poor little boy.
Should a little girl fall down and cry she will be told to pick yourself up and stop crying.

IMHO, it's the ladies who take care of the family but the men often just don't care.
Thai ladies often borrow money to give to their errant husbands who then use the money for gambling drink girlfriends you name it.
Just ask any of the many divorced Thai ladies.


 

[akentryan]

There are some good ones out there. Our regular pool guy replaced the pool pump and brought in a crew to regrout the pool. Came in 2,000 baht less than he quoted me.  Work performed first class. Needed new electric line to the pool house. A farang (Turkish if I had to guess) quoted me a price but couldn't get to it for two weeks. GF called her friend who uses an electrician at their bar. He did it the next day, again a very nice job, patched new holes, and cleaned up after. Exactly half the farang's price.

[georgemandm]

On 17/12/2016 at 4:35 PM, georgemandm said:

Yes whose money, you did not say you paid him .

Read the post and you work out

[georgemandm]

2 hours ago, jpinx said:

Trades-women ? 

Yes ok 

[bark]

On 18/12/2559 at 2:05 AM, Rc2702 said:

Sounds like he had another job on and did not want to lose the business so tried to string you along. sounds a bit more realistic than saying he did not want to do it but said yes anyway.

Many your job was very easy, but didn't pay enough ? or you take to whole day, driving back and forth to the job.

But anyway, he should have told him, he wasn't going to show. Very rude.

[callaway]

On ‎12‎/‎18‎/‎2016 at 5:38 AM, Strange said:

 

Doubtful. But maybe "Sometimes" I guess. 

 

The issue is them confirming a time/place for work, then flat out no-showing and not calling. 

 

Arrange a time for workers, internet people, aircon service people etc. to come, plan your day to be there, and they don't come, or come extremely late, usually not calling either. 

 

I mean I get it, I expect it, but everyone has jobs, responsibilities, and I don't know about anyone else but its very rare that I'm late for anything, and I never no-show if I confirm. Its not like its all that hard to time manage. They just don't care because its all about them, and who cares about the impact they have on others. 

TIT of course, but its still frustrating sometimes. 

I just give them my number and go about my daily things and when they are at the front gate they call as they cannot get in due to electric gate and walls. They then wait until I come back home and let them in. Have never had one drive off and they are more than happy to wait for me. That way there is no stress on either party and no grey hairs from the worry. Mai pen rai

[Deepinthailand]

6 hours ago, laislica said:

 

This might be true but in my opinion not for all Thai people.
Look at the way Thai men are brought up.
Little boys can do no wrong, should they fall down at least six ladies will rush forward to kiss and cuddle the poor little boy.
Should a little girl fall down and cry she will be told to pick yourself up and stop crying.

IMHO, it's the ladies who take care of the family but the men often just don't care.
Thai ladies often borrow money to give to their errant husbands who then use the money for gambling drink girlfriends you name it.
Just ask any of the many divorced Thai ladies.


 

I HAVE never seen or heard of the boy syndrome you write about our boy is certainly not treated like that.

[Deepinthailand]

georgemandm     642

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• Advanced Members
• 1,521 posts

 

ID: 108  Posted 5 hours ago · 

On 17/12/2016 at 4:35 PM, georgemandm said:

Yes whose money, you did not say you paid him .

Read the post and you work out

why are you quoting yourself now will no one else take any notice of you anymore there there there.

 

[thehelmsman]

13 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said:

I HAVE never seen or heard of the boy syndrome you write about our boy is certainly not treated like that.

 

I don't know what they're talking about either. Have 14 yr. old step son and he does everything for himself. Washes and irons his own clothes. Helps his grand mother with everything she needs.

[gemguy]

Well...one way to address the issue is ask for 2 or 3 people to show up and start the work.......the first to show up.... gets the job...lol

Cheers

[georgemandm]

30 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said:

georgemandm     642

• 
• Advanced Members
• 1,521 posts

 

ID: 108  Posted 5 hours ago · 

Read the post and you work out

why are you quoting yourself now will no one else take any notice of you anymore there there there.

 

That's funny you just did haha .

you read it and I get lots of like ,so your quiet ( no one else takes any notice or you anymore) is very,  very wrong so there you go .

mr come in  spinner .

Edited December 19, 2016 by georgemandm
Add on

[georgemandm]

35 minutes ago, thehelmsman said:

 

I don't know what they're talking about either. Have 14 yr. old step son and he does everything for himself. Washes and irons his own clothes. Helps his grand mother with everything she needs.

Yes you are the lucky one , because most thai boys get away with everything.

i have seen boys help out mum and dad but not a lot .

i know of this thai lady her son was drinking out of a baby's bottle at 7 years old to go to sleep.

boys get away with everything here the girls put in .

[SiSePuede419]

"She confronted him..."

 

Same in Cali.

 

 If you confront someone about why they "flaked" on you, they get mad at you because you're being "so negative"...

 

Afterall, they could have been doing something important. Like staying home.?

[Deepinthailand]

1 hour ago, georgemandm said:

Yes you are the lucky one , because most thai boys get away with everything.

i have seen boys help out mum and dad but not a lot .

i know of this thai lady her son was drinking out of a baby's bottle at 7 years old to go to sleep.

boys get away with everything here the girls put in .

Get a life George for so full if it you really are. 

[georgemandm]

8 hours ago, Deepinthailand said:

Get a life George for so full if it you really are. 

Their you go  personal insult , was I talking to you no .

you have no idea about thailand at all .

all you can do is  attack me all the time I give my  Point of view .

your the one who needs to get a life haha .

I know what I am talking about, you have  no idea .

My life is great and I have a home to go to in my country not like you who I would say sold the lot for some thai lady to move here .

i can take the  insults from you , hop you can take them back , you  started the  personal attacks not me .