Jingthing Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 OK. Here's the setup. You visit a restaurant to order one thing, one very specific thing. You really don't want anything else on their menu at that time. Perhaps it's a small thing and you've already eaten another small thing so this will complete your meal. You order it and also a drink. The drink arrives. You don't touch the drink. Then the waiter comes and tells you no have and suggests you order something else? What would you do? Be overly polite and order something else even though you really don't want it. Drink the drink and pay only for that. Don't drink the drink and pay anyway. Tell the waiter, too bad, I haven't touched the drink, hand it to him to take away ... don't want anything else, goodbye, not paying for the drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eefoo Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Hypothetical question I'm afraid. Given the length of time it seems to take most wait-staff to return with a 'no-hab' report, I'd be on my second drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilsonandson Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Check bill. Drink the drink and leave politely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Hypothetical question I'm afraid. Given the length of time it seems to take most wait-staff to return with a 'no-hab' report, I'd be on my second drink.Not hypothetical. Real life for me. So if it happened to you what would you do? It's a given if you touched the drink at all you would definitely have to buy the drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eefoo Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 4 hours ago, Jingthing said: Not hypothetical. Real life for me. So if it happened to you what would you do? It's a given if you touched the drink at all you would definitely have to buy the drink. I would quite simply drink my drink, pay for it and leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) Surprisingly, I succeeded in getting the waiter to accept the untouched drink I handed over (which I considered a non-verbal acceptance of the situation) and walked out. If the waiter hadn't accepted the untouched drink that I handed to him, it would have been a different situation, which I can't predict. It was just a glass of tea which I know costs them a few baht to produce. I think an opened beer would be different and I don't think I would have reacted that way with a beer or even an opened soda. Neither the manager nor police were called. But I obviously didn't think it through. I will want to go back there! Edited January 16, 2017 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 A drink that had been opened in some way or poured into a glass? Or an unopened bottle or can? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Indeed, the nature of the drink was relevant. I should have included that important detail in the O.P. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 you ordered it, it was delivered to the table, you pay for it. its quite simple really. i certainly wouldn't go back after such a showing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) 9 minutes ago, HooHaa said: you ordered it, it was delivered to the table, you pay for it. its quite simple really. i certainly wouldn't go back after such a showing. In general I agree with you, but my reaction at the time was not thought through. It was a very specific situation. I seriously wanted that one thing. They had been out on a previous visit and told me when I ordered and at that time I was OK ordering an alternative. But this time they accepted the order and that food was the only reason I was there. I wasn't there for the drink. Believe it or not, I will go back, but I'll leave a respectful time interval, and only go if I'm feeling more flexible about their menu. To add, I had been at the same place before multiple times without incident ... so good chance I will be remembered. Note to self -- wait longer to go back! Edited January 16, 2017 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nisakiman Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Had the drink been an unopened bottle, then I think it would be fine to send it back and leave. However, given that it was tea, regardless of how much it cost to make, the polite thing to do would have been to pay for it, whether you drank it or not. That they didn't have the dish you wanted at that moment in time was just unfortunate, not a deliberate slight aimed at you. I think they would have every reason to feel a bit aggrieved at your reaction. I would suggest you leave it for a very long time before you go back, or you may find your meal has an 'extra ingredient' you weren't anticipating. It happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) What you say is entirely logical. I'm aware of these special extra ingredients ... Like I said, it was a spur of the moment action and not well thought through. Definitely questionable. First time I ever did such a thing but again it was a very specific scenario. More generally, about drinks at restaurants. Usually people go to restaurants mainly to eat food and the drink is secondary. I always order a drink even if just water just to be polite understanding that there is a rough social contract expectation that if you go to restaurant you're gonna order a beverage. It's a big part of the restaurant business too ... drinks are usually MUCH higher profit items than the food and people didn't order drinks they'd have to raise their food prices a lot. So when I say I didn't go there for the tea, I wasn't kidding. Edited January 16, 2017 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I think if I were going to a restaurant for one particular thing, I would ask first if they have it before sitting down. Though I usually can find something else... though irregardless, if I ordered a drink, I would pay for it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 6 minutes ago, kenk24 said: I think if I were going to a restaurant for one particular thing, I would ask first if they have it before sitting down. Though I usually can find something else... though irregardless, if I ordered a drink, I would pay for it... Quite logical. I think the reason I didn't think to do that was on a recent visit they had informed me of the no have when ordering, and I knew for a fact they have it sometimes because I saw it on some tables on another visit. So I made the incorrect assumption that it was the kind of place that had it together to tell me about no have when ordering. Live and learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 24 minutes ago, Jingthing said: Quite logical. I think the reason I didn't think to do that was on a recent visit they had informed me of the no have when ordering, and I knew for a fact they have it sometimes because I saw it on some tables on another visit. So I made the incorrect assumption that it was the kind of place that had it together to tell me about no have when ordering. Live and learn. Well, that is part of the beauty of retirement... having the ability to space out. It happens to me with other things that never would have happened before... I have walked into the ladies room by accident more than once... no, nobody was in there, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I would drink the drink and only pay for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 I would drink the drink and only pay for that.Probably the consensus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) Upon sober reflection and meditating my (innie) navel (it wasn't rocket science!) I've come to the conclusion that the way I reacted to an objectively annoying situation was indeed an ethical BOO BOO. In other words, I reacted like a JERK. Here's the breakdown. The easiest response was order something else, but I've explained that was out of the question. My interest in that one "no have" dish was that focused and specific. Failing that, as was the consensus here, the no brainer response was drink the drink and pay for the drink without any further agitation. At least you get what you paid for even though you didn't want the drink without the dish. HOWEVER, here is maybe a better response. Don't involve the waiter at all but ask for the manager. Then if you communicate with the manager about what happened and why you want to return the drink and just leave, ask his buy in on that. If yes, you haven't involved the waiter. If no, don't drink the drink. If yes, everyone is happy. If no, the manager knows you're not happy and honestly didn't want the drink without that dish. Ethically elegant even if you risk paying for a drink you don't consume. I get it, perhaps most managers would say no, and perhaps most managers wouldn't care about creating an unhappy customer, but at least you give them a chance. What I did ... and I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet, by literally pushing the drink back to the waiter, is unfairly (to the waiter) put the HOT POTATO in his hands. Perhaps he had to pay for that drink. I didn't think about that at the time, but if there was any chance of that, that's really bad. So if I do back after a "respectful" interval and I get some surprise substances in my food ... well, maybe rethink going back! Oh well! Anyway, I see now I acted the jerk in this case (to the waiter), but please don't get all holier than though about it. We all act the jerk SOMETIMES. It becomes a problem if that defines your entire personality. Edited January 16, 2017 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jak2002003 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) OP.. .. what is wrong with you that you have to even think about this yourself let alone ask people on a forum about what you did??? You ordered a drink. You got it.... so pay for it. You did not get your food... so don't pay for that. If you really only wanted the food.... why did you order the drink????? How petty to send back a drink, which you say was only a few baht, because you got in a sulk as they did not have the cheap small snack you wanted? It might have only been a few baht for you, but I bet they take that out of the poor waiters wages. Nice one. It's people like you give all us farangs a bad name. Edited January 16, 2017 by jak2002003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) OK. Glad you had the chance to rant. The drink price was 35 baht. I was speaking about my perception of the cost to make being a few baht. I didn't want JUST the drink which I've explained. My desire for the drink was to have it WITH the food I ordered. I've already acknowledged I acted impulsively without thinking it through. Even if I had just focused on my selfish interest, I wouldn't have done that, as I like their food and want to go back without unpleasantness. None of us knows the specific policy of that restaurant manager but yes I should have considered I was hurting the waiter, and I just didn't at the time, which was jerky for sure. We all make mistakes. Somehow I am guessing the dude that just ranted isn't Mother Theresa either. That's surely a fact as even Mother Theresa wasn't Mother Theresa (if you know what I mean). Edited January 16, 2017 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotheruser Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) 14 hours ago, Jingthing said: Not hypothetical. Real life for me. So if it happened to you what would you do? It's a given if you touched the drink at all you would definitely have to buy the drink. The question is low even coming from you. You pay for whatever you ordered. Edited January 16, 2017 by anotheruser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nisakiman Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 8 minutes ago, anotheruser said: You pay for whatever you ordered. And that is the bottom line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotheruser Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Just now, nisakiman said: And that is the bottom line. Seems rather simple to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 And that is the bottom line.Happy to pay for what I ordered but they didn't have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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