Real Love Vs A Partnership Of Convenience

[Fun2Fun]

The relationship talked about in, Where does my wife stand? , seems a fine example of how a relationship of convinience might end up.

[meom]

Real love starts when the bathroom door stays open during a dump or a piss.

In the end it's all about trust, or something like that

[kayo]

yeah meom and not laughing at your partners bits

[In the Rai!]

I dont have much to add but all I can say is that you know when it is love and you know when it is out of convenience.

People on the outside can always point their fingers and assume whatever they want (he is so much older, she is only in it for the money or she only likes him because its an opportunity to.......or vice versa) but the only people that truely know are the 2 people involved.

YOU JUST KNOW... and if you dont then you are not in love.. Its simple

Edited December 18, 2006 by In the Rai!

[farang prince]

My God She's at it again..GF Why dont you get a hobby??and a life while your at it...

If the subject matter bothers you, then why respond at all? There are plenty of other topics that you can discuss elsewhere in ThaiVisa. Why trash the OP? She is just trying to stimulate some conversation.

[GracelessFawn]

My God She's at it again..GF Why dont you get a hobby??and a life while your at it...

If the subject matter bothers you, then why respond at all? There are plenty of other topics that you can discuss elsewhere in ThaiVisa. Why trash the OP? She is just trying to stimulate some conversation.

Well said!

Thanks Farang Prince.

[jumnien]

Why the either or mentality? Can't real love be a partnership of convenience. Must real love always be this terribly inconvenient drama?

[jumnien]

Speaking of inconvenient.... Did anyone see the movie "An Inconvenient Truth" about global warming? Is it just me or is the inconvenient truth that Al Gore gained about 40 pounds since he was vice president? Is it warmer or does it just seem like it's warmer since we've all gained so much weight? If he'd take off that silly blue sportcoat maybe he'd be a little less hot under the collar about the vast right-wing conspiracy to make him sweat.

[Mighty Mouse]

If each person tattoos their partners name in large letters across a conspicuous part of their body, that represents real love.

If each person tattoos their partners name in small letters across an inconspicuous part of their body, in a design that can be later obliterated by the drawing of a tiny butterfly, that is a partnership of convenience.

[GracelessFawn]

If each person tattoos their partners name in large letters across a conspicuous part of their body, that represents real love.

If each person tattoos their partners name in small letters across an inconspicuous part of their body, in a design that can be later obliterated by the drawing of a tiny butterfly, that is a partnership of convenience.

I agree with you.

Let me ask you this......... what kind of fool would tattoo a partner's name on their body? Seriously!

[GracelessFawn]

Why the either or mentality? Can't real love be a partnership of convenience. Must real love always be this terribly inconvenient drama?

No!

You see love comes in different shape,sizes,colors, packets, etc.

There are relationships that fall in the category of this thread's title, that is why I asked the question.

[jamman]

I don't see the question as teenagerish. It ties in with the "what do you think of when making love" question, and together the theme starts to pick out pictures and patterns.

Disturbing patterns.

I've always had trouble with the facts that the Kinsey sexual statistics report showed, more than 50 years ago. Can it possibly be true that some lovers finish sex in as little as ten minutes?

And people think during sex. Think of other people. Think of trying to last longer.

And many people think love is irrelevant, or that money and needs and love are interchangeable, or equally importand and equally unimportant - or whatever. Whatever works.

People are disturbingly blase, even during sex.

For those who fit that description, who are curious about expanding their current good feelings, consider looking into meditation, chi kung, being in the moment and embodying your presence, kundalini, and daoist sexual practices.

People think that since they can orgasm, they can sex. I can draw stick figures, but I can't paint. Sex is a huge potential, none of us has mastered. It can be huge, and is worthy of a little education. Or a lifetime of attention.

Edited December 18, 2006 by jamman

[jamman]

Real love starts when the bathroom door stays open during a dump or a piss.

In the end it's all about trust, or something like that

The capitalized word Love tries to catch many little meanings.

Acceptance is what you point to with the open door picture.

There is still passion, which doesn't even have to have respect to have fire. Sometimes you are into her without liking her.

Empathy, which doesn't need passion to be full. Sometimes you love her without being into her.

Buddyship, which takes up and down waves as fuel for closeness

Commitment. A shared goal. To be buddies, or have a mutual financial goal, or anything.

I respect that love has flavors. For myself I choose to push into the embodiment of love as a feeling of power, as a feeling of passion, as a felt power.

Edited December 18, 2006 by jamman

[kayo]

Why the either or mentality? Can't real love be a partnership of convenience. Must real love always be this terribly inconvenient drama?

No!

You see love comes in different shape,sizes,colors, packets, etc.

There are relationships that fall in the category of this thread's title, that is why I asked the question.

YES! mdeland!!

I'd say. If anything what mdeland says is in many cases the very KEY to a succesful marriage.

The good and the bad, all that. Sometimes things might be going bad. Whereas the recent generations seem to jump on the divorce bandwagon, the survivors see the bad times through, and more often than not find themselves in a deeper relationship after all is said and done.

Maybe it takes years of convenience to get to that point, but it does occur.

There was a lady who married an up & coming lower middle class man once. She didn't "love" him, so much. She had love for him, but he wasn't her dream man. Nonetheless, she kenw he would be stable, caring, and decent. He would be an ideal father figure for her children. So they married

The years passed, children were born and brought up. Over the years her respect for her husband increased. The children did well,and became lovely young adults. One day she woke up, thirty years after meeting this man, and she thought to herself, I love this man. I am passionate about this man. He has done everything well for my children- our children.

That's Love after many years of convenience

[davidjtayler]

If each person tattoos their partners name in large letters across a conspicuous part of their body, that represents real love.

If each person tattoos their partners name in small letters across an inconspicuous part of their body, in a design that can be later obliterated by the drawing of a tiny butterfly, that is a partnership of convenience.

I agree with you.

Let me ask you this......... what kind of fool would tattoo a partner's name on their body? Seriously!

I saw a guy in Barbados with his wife's name tatooed on his wanger ... I remember ... her name was Wendy ....

[a2396]

How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience?

When it is clear that money is the primary motivator for the woman's involvement in the relationship and that is 100% of the experiences I have had in the past 2 years here. AND, I have NOT been involved with bar girls, beer girls, disco queens, etc. My primary lovely told me her Mother would request she "cancel" me, a mothly sum wasn't "forked over" to Mama. I think love not based on money is non-existant here in LOS, at least for many Farangs.

[jamman]

How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience?

When it is clear that money is the primary motivator for the woman's involvement in the relationship and that is 100% of the experiences I have had in the past 2 years here. AND, I have NOT been involved with bar girls, beer girls, disco queens, etc. My primary lovely told me her Mother would request she "cancel" me, a mothly sum wasn't "forked over" to Mama. I think love not based on money is non-existant here in LOS, at least for many Farangs.

For the two years that I was in Thailand, I refused to mix money and sex. Only one woman left me and mentioned that I didn't give her a good allowance, and I think it was not because of the money, but that I had a second girlfriend. The clue would be that she wrote all over my apartment walls crude, jealous, and erotic messages to the other girl.

I had one girlfriend who was a massage girl. Despite reading the stickmanbangkok site, I had to learn the hard way that she was hunting for sponsors. But I did not give her "emergency" money, nor pay for a fake abortion. I paid for dinner and for whatever we did together. She was after money, and so played the field when I wasn't looking, but my point is that she was not with me for money. We just had an intense unquenchable passion.

This year was the first year that I stooped so low as to be in a paid relationship. Here in Bali, I met an attractive young woman, who considered herself for long term hire. We lived together, and as usual I only paid for our basics - no problem. The problem wasn't if I did or didn't pay, but that she considered herself as rentable and rented. Eventually I found the situation too dry, and told her to go. There just wasn't enough emotion between us. I don't want to damage my sexual patterns with loveless and tepid sex.

Yesterday Sarah arrived. A woman from the Philippines who loves me neither for looks nor money. My heart is sometimes so on fire that it hurts. I love her to bits. When you get strong passion, it overshadows other concerns. That is why I trust in chemistry. Even the money hungry hunters can have their goals overshadowed by chemisty. It doesn't take looks or money, and you can get strong chemistry in Thailand.

I was not able to find strong unpaid for chemistry this year in Bali, and that was strange. But I'm glad I at least kicked out what was not strong enough, and made space. It doesn't do to pay for the appearance of passion.

But some people seem to be unable to distinguish between strong chemistry and paid for companionship. Some people are happy to blur distinctions into a hazy fuzz. Many people don't have passion as a priority.

That's how an old and broke and barely attractive guy can date without money. Passion. Real chemistry is better than money - you can't buy it.

Edited December 21, 2006 by jamman

[a2396]

How do you know if its real love or a partnership/marriage/relationship of convenience?

When it is clear that money is the primary motivator for the woman's involvement in the relationship and that is 100% of the experiences I have had in the past 2 years here. AND, I have NOT been involved with bar girls, beer girls, disco queens, etc. My primary lovely told me her Mother would request she "cancel" me, a mothly sum wasn't "forked over" to Mama. I think love not based on money is non-existant here in LOS, at least for many Farangs.

For the two years that I was in Thailand, I refused to mix money and sex. Only one woman left me and mentioned that I didn't give her a good allowance, and I think it was not because of the money, but that I had a second girlfriend. The clue would be that she wrote all over my apartment walls crude, jealous, and erotic messages to the other girl.

I had one girlfriend who was a massage girl. Despite reading the stickmanbangkok site, I had to learn the hard way that she was hunting for sponsors. But I did not give her "emergency" money, nor pay for a fake abortion. I paid for dinner and for whatever we did together. She was after money, and so played the field when I wasn't looking, but my point is that she was not with me for money. We just had an intense unquenchable passion.

This year was the first year that I stooped so low as to be in a paid relationship. Here in Bali, I met an attractive young woman, who considered herself for long term hire. We lived together, and as usual I only paid for our basics - no problem. The problem wasn't if I did or didn't pay, but that she considered herself as rentable and rented. Eventually I found the situation too dry, and told her to go. There just wasn't enough emotion between us. I don't want to damage my sexual patterns with loveless and tepid sex.

Yesterday Sarah arrived. A woman from the Philippines who loves me neither for looks nor money. My heart is sometimes so on fire that it hurts. I love her to bits. When you get strong passion, it overshadows other concerns. That is why I trust in chemistry. Even the money hungry hunters can have their goals overshadowed by chemisty. It doesn't take looks or money, and you can get strong chemistry in Thailand.

I was not able to find strong unpaid for chemistry this year in Bali, and that was strange. But I'm glad I at least kicked out what was not strong enough, and made space. It doesn't do to pay for the appearance of passion.

But some people seem to be unable to distinguish between strong chemistry and paid for companionship. Some people are happy to blur distinctions into a hazy fuzz. Many people don't have passion as a priority.

That's how an old and broke and barely attractive guy can date without money. Passion. Real chemistry is better than money - you can't buy it.

Thanks for your candid remarks. There is no doubt strong chemistry exists in Thailand and I consider it of high importance. I would not bother with a relationship if it did not exist, at least for me. What I have found here is, that if it does exist for women, they generally will not proceed unless there is a monetary gain for them. I am talking about what I have seen in MY experiences. These are women who are generally available to Farangs, ie, lower education, no job skills and sometimes no job or no interest in working or higher education. Women who have good educations and good jobs do not need to mess with a Farang, unless perhaps they want a ticket to his country for some reason.