Payback Or Not?

[brian36]

Hi! i have ben reading this forum for a while,but this is my firstpost.

At first i wanted to write down the whole story, but i decied to make it short.

In december last year i meet a girl in pattaya, (not a bargirl) we spent 2.5 months toghether and i visit her family in chanhaburi.

She then came and visit me in my country for one month, now ive stayed in thailand 3 months and have 3 more to go.

i rented out my apartment att home for 6 months to go back and stay whith her.

But this 3 months have been the 3 worst in my life, when i came her she was not the same person i met 1 year ago and behave not the same.

I started to get suspicious about she having someone else, the phone keep ringing little to much and often the sound was of.

Then i check the mobile and found out 14 farang nummbers and some not so good sms, she claimed that it was only friends (but farangfriends in pattaya, i dont think so).

Then i plant a keylogger on my computer and got her pasword to her hotmail, i understand that she deletes everything after reading, but she had not loked for a few days, and there was 5 mail from a man from england telling her he want to merried her and loved her and so on.

She claimed that she did not loved him, only friends and that she not write to him, but he had replayed to her so i could read what she had wrote to him, and she told him she miss him and loved him and so on.

Then she said her friend had write email from her address to him , i send a sms to the nummbers i got from her mobile to the english nummbers and after that a man called me, he had sent her 200 000 bath for new motorbike, hospital and more, he was really upset and did not know about me.

I can go on whith this story for a long time but i think this is enougf, i have never in my life met someone that lies so much like she do and she have never admit a lie even if i have proof, she just comes up whith a new one, and still she keeps ringing telling me she loves me, but i understand its just a game she plays whith me.

Now to the big question, she have given me wery much pain and ive lost some money to, is it wrong to get even ?

I thinking of writing a letter and have one thaifriend translate it into thai and then send it to her mamma and perhaphs even her neighborus, and explain wath she is up to (im pretty sure they dont now)..

I dont now if this would make me feel better, but she will get some problem to.......

What u think?

Edited December 19, 2006 by brian36

[britmaveric]

Well her family most likely knows and supports her endeavours, so thats a non-starter mate. Just forget and chalk it up to experience.

[davethailand]

see below

Edited December 19, 2006 by davethailand

[davethailand]

Hi! i have ben reading this forum for a while,but this is my firstpost.

At first i wanted to write down the whole story, but i decied to make it short.

In december last year i meet a girl in pattaya, (not a bargirl) not a bargirl we spent 2.5 months toghether and i visit her family in chanhaburi.

She then came and visit me in my country for one month, now ive stayed in thailand 3 months and have 3 more to go.

i rented out my apartment att home for 6 months to go back and stay whith her.

But this 3 months have been the 3 worst in my life, when i came her she was not the same person i met 1 year ago and behave not the same.

I started to get suspicious about she having someone else, the phone keep ringing little to much and often the sound was of.

Then i check the mobile and found out 14 farang nummbers and some not so good sms, she claimed that it was only friends (but farangfriends in pattaya, i dont think so).

Then i plant a keylogger on my computer and got her pasword to her hotmail, i understand that she deletes everything after reading, but she had not loked for a few days, and there was 5 mail from a man from england telling her he want to merried her and loved her and so on.

She claimed that she did not loved him, only friends and that she not write to him, but he had replayed to her so i could read what she had wrote to him, and she told him she miss him and loved him and so on.

Then she said her friend had write email from her address to him , i send a sms to the nummbers i got from her mobile to the english nummbers and after that a man called me, he had sent her 200 000 bath for new motorbike, hospital and more, he was really upset and did not know about me.

I can go on whith this story for a long time but i think this is enougf, i have never in my life met someone that lies so much like she do and she have never admit a lie even if i have proof, she just comes up whith a new one, and still she keeps ringing telling me she loves me, but i understand its just a game she plays whith me.

Chalk it down to experience

Now to the big question, she have given me wery much pain and ive lost some money to, is it wrong to get even ?

Pointless, not wrong as you won't gain anything apart from (at the worse) a smack for your trouble.

I thinking of writing a letter and have one thaifriend translate it into thai and then send it to her mamma and perhaphs even her neighborus, and explain wath she is up to (im pretty sure they dont now)..

I'm pretty sure the won't care.

I dont now if this would make me feel better, but she will get some problem to.......

What u think?

Drop it and move on.

[Fun2Fun]

I guess it would be a waste of time since its highly likely that her familly already knows.

Look on the bright side your are now free and single , so dont waste anymore time on this girl..go out and enjoy yourself instead

Edited December 19, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[farangsay]

Well in a way you've already paid her back by talking

to the English guy. Sounds like she had a nice little

earner there.

And you did him a favour.

Look on the bright side.

[bkkmadness]

SMS and email the dudes you can first tell them what you know, then forget it mate, chalk it up to experience and move on. Plenty of fish in the sea!

[sriracha john]

At first i wanted to write down the whole story, but i decied to make it short.

please go with your first inclination and write us the whole story.

[game4shame]

In december last year i meet a girl in pattaya, (not a bargirl)

love it.

if this isnt a troll posting then I would advise against 'getting even'.

[Rinrada]

You mean theres more.......

[Insight]

Same as what everybody else is saying - Getting even will cost you a lot more I reckon, both short and long term.

Cheers for the read though!

[Donz]

How long did you know her before you moved in and spend alot of money on her?

Did you move with her as soon as you met her??

[Buckwheat]

TV's own private "Agony Auntie" will chime in with some pearls of wisdom, or start a new thread asking what people think

[PhilHarries]

In december last year i meet a girl in pattaya, (not a bargirl)

What u think?

From what you write 100% She is a bar girl.

Either that or you're a troll.

Listen up, just because you didn't meet her in a bar and she said she didn't work as a bar girl doesn't mean she's not a bar girl. A colleague of mine met a girl just back from a six month Australian assignment. He was, and still is, convinced that she never worked in the beer bars. However I know where here Aussie "boyfriend" found her - one of the sleazier bars in soi sleaze (Yodsak) Pattaya.

Another girl I knew married an Aussie, got Aussie citizenship, had a daughter by the guy and held down a well paying job in Australia. But, when on a holiday visit to Pattaya to look up sme old friends, she couldn't resist the urge. Last I saw of her that one day was arm in arm with an American sailor off down the road to his hotel.

What I'm trying to illustrate is that these girls are pathological liars and no matter how good their life gets with a particular punter they are always on the look out for extras. I think a lot of these girls have become so adept at lying that they even believe the stories themselves.

Enough! Take the advice already given, give her the heave ho and move on.

[Wolfie]

forget her and move on, forget payback/revenge - its not worth it and could end up with you in hospital (or worse)

Everyone gets bitten, just gotta learn how recognize the signs. Lucky you found out now and not in 2 years time when you'd already bought her a house/buffalo/motobike etc

[brian36]

Hello again, first of all im not a troll, i just havent post here before, if i want to no something i just use the search funktion on the forum, on this forum or others.

And most of the times u will find what u looking for, some people seems not to use it and instead start a new tread.

Its funny (or not funny) to see that there are people that asume that she is (was) a bargirl only beacause it happend in pattaya, perhaps they only sitting in the bar and drinking on their hollyday and only meet and see bargirls. and than suppose that every girl here is a hooker.

I know this place is not the right place to find a girl and i did not look for it either, it just happend, and im not 60+ it was 10 year between us and that is no problem in my country either,when a man 60+ meet a girl 20-30 years old then i really dont belive it would work.

Im not an expert on thailand, absolutlie not but i have been her over one year togheter since -99 and ive read on forums mostly every day about thailand so i have lern some atleast, this was the first time i really fall in love.

Now the last week i have been throw alot on stickmans readers storys, and i found some of them very intressting, offcause some my not be the trouth but i think manny are.

I understand what happend to me is not much compared to what happend to many other people that have started a relationsship whith a thailady,this man got it really bad i think

and offcourse there are some very good laydies out there it just hard to find them i think.

My friend had met a lady (they are still toghether) and it was her friend i was introdused to, as i said before the first 2,5 months was no problems, not much talk about money either, it was after i got home the problem started, she got job as a hairdresser and i think her friends ther leed her into some bad stuff.

My friends lady and she are not longer friends beacause she have told my friend some stuff about her, and offcourse he told me.

Im pretty sure she not work in the bar now and has not done it before, but i suppose she is a freelanser and thats not mutch better, maybe even worse.

I have not send her money, (she did not want me to) i payed for a room (new one on other side of sukhumwith) it was only 3500 bath/month.

Then she was supposed to work untill i came back or she come to my country, she came to my country, and offcourse that cost me some money.

I understand that u all think that i should let it go, maybe i do but i really dont like when someone is lying to me that much and plays whith my feelings.

So all of you should just let it go like it never had happend?

Maby i should just delete her email and her phonenummber and change mine, but i found it really hard to do.....

Maby i should be happy that i found out now, and not afer a few years building house and maby marrige.

Edited December 20, 2006 by brian36

[game4shame]

if this isnt trolling and you do want to go for the revenge option, I have a plan:

tell her you need to go home (to your own country) to make some money.

before you leave ask her for her bank acct no and say you'll send, say, 20k pm when you're home.

when you get home dont send a penny. when she calls after discovering no cash, tell her you sent it and she should go check with the bank etc.

she'll call again once she checks with the bank and play the same line - tell her you sent it.

keep the process going until she fcuks off.

this way you'll get some revenge and be at a safe distance to avoid a stabbing.

[Buckwheat]

if this isnt trolling and you do want to go for the revenge option, I have a plan:

tell her you need to go home (to your own country) to make some money.

before you leave ask her for her bank acct no and say you'll send, say, 20k pm when you're home.

when you get home dont send a penny. when she calls after discovering no cash, tell her you sent it and she should go check with the bank etc.

she'll call again once she checks with the bank and play the same line - tell her you sent it.

keep the process going until she fcuks off.

this way you'll get some revenge and be at a safe distance to avoid a stabbing.

That, without a doubt, is the most low-down, mean spirited and totally self serving suggestion I have ever seen posted on this forum.

Having said that, however, I wish I had thought of suggesting it!!!

[game4shame]

if this isnt trolling and you do want to go for the revenge option, I have a plan:

tell her you need to go home (to your own country) to make some money.

before you leave ask her for her bank acct no and say you'll send, say, 20k pm when you're home.

when you get home dont send a penny. when she calls after discovering no cash, tell her you sent it and she should go check with the bank etc.

she'll call again once she checks with the bank and play the same line - tell her you sent it.

keep the process going until she fcuks off.

this way you'll get some revenge and be at a safe distance to avoid a stabbing.

That, without a doubt, is the most low-down, mean spirited and totally self serving suggestion I have ever seen posted on this forum.

Having said that, however, I wish I had thought of suggesting it!!!

[les Dennis]

The confusion here is the term bar girl. It shouldn't always be taken literally as it can also refer to the girls lifestyle. Also there are obviously scores of thousand of girls that work in bars/restaurants who do not partake in the bar girl lifestyle. But sorry, your girlfriend has all the classic signs and excuses that accompany a bar girl. You got your fingers burnt and your heart broken like millions of other guys (including me) so just put it down to one of lifes learning curves and bin her. If she really does love you, theres your revenge right there, you broke her heart.

[Mighty Mouse]

Dennis is correct, women who give themselves to farangs in order to gain financially may not work in a bar.

They may not consider themselves prostitutes either, even though they are trying to improve their bank balance through their friendly (?) activities.

So, let's refer to them as 'clever operators'.

This girl was clever, but the OP took some devious steps to snoop into her private records and found that he was not the only one to whom she gave pleasure.

The OP had not made a commitment to her and a girl needs to know her future, so she was playing the field of opportunity, perhaps looking for a commitment from a potential husband.

I say 'good luck to her'. She plays well.

To the OP, sorry mate, but these things happen all the time. You will learn from this chapter in your life.

[GracelessFawn]

TV's own private "Agony Auntie" will chime in with some pearls of wisdom, or start a new thread asking what people think

What a relief to hear that.

Where is she btw?

[Fun2Fun]

Keep in mind that there are plenty of falang men who talks sweet and gives airy promisses never to be keept, even to such an extend that they may waste several years of a girls life before she finally realises that its never going to amount to anything at all. (No marriage and/or lasting financial security)

Even if she has not expirienced it first hand, she has definetly heard stories of it happen to other thaigirls.

So being sensible/practical she would keep several boy friends stringing along untill she got someone really commited to her. Ie. Marriage and financial security.

Look on the bright side, you might be the one she really liked.

On the other hand, she might just have played you like a fiddle.

Edited December 21, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[Little Black Duck]

I definitely don't think the OP is a TROLL..I think he got his fingers and other parts of his anatomy burned..

T.I.T. Sad but true, this is how it is my brokenhearted young friend, as the track on the "Eagles" album says

"Get Over It"!! Is about the best advise I and most all the other posters are giving you...

Revenge is Stupidity you clued the English Dude let it go..

[brian36]

ok, thanks everbody for replaying, ive not talked to her for 4-5 days now, she have now stopped ringing, the best for me would maybe go home to my county, but before i went to thailand i rented out my apartment for 6 months so i have nowere to go if i go home.

Ill try to forget her and will change number so she can not call me anymore, i thought this would never happend to me after reading all shit on internet and heard everyhing from friends, but love makes you blind.....

Thanks for giving me the advices

[Little Black Duck]

To Quote that Old TV Show...Dont you just love it when a Plan Comes Together...

[game4shame]

Keep in mind that there are plenty of falang men who talks sweet and gives airy promisses never to be keept, even to such an extend that they may waste several years of a girls life before she finally realises that its never going to amount to anything at all. (No marriage and/or lasting financial security)

oh, what a shame.

maybe the promises would be kept if the farang didn't discover that the sweet innocent tilac is actually a lying little slapper.

Edited December 21, 2006 by game4shame

[davethailand]

Just because a girl is a bargirl it does'nt mean that she is the same as other bargirls!

[Crow Boy]

So all of you should just let it go like it never had happend?

I think you should remember that it happened and learn from it.

Maby i should just delete her email and her phonenummber and change mine, but i found it really hard to do.....

It is but it is the best thing that you can do

Maby i should be happy that i found out now, and not afer a few years building house and maby marrige.

You have it in one

Seriously though you have my sympathy and most likely about 99% of the people reading this forum give you theirs as well because it happens to most of us.

A long time ago a friend of mine told me it takes two relationships to finally get to grips with the rules and the differences between how the game is played at home and here. Think about the problems you faced having relationships at home just because of the difference in gender, then throw in a whole extra set of complications due to economic, social, cultural, religious differences.

If you have rented out your apartment and can stay here in Thailand then you may as well do it, just take your time, learn from the experience and move on. There are lots of great people here, but you need to take care.

Bottom line - you aren't dead or financially destroyed - it happens, so chalk it up to living in the land of smiles.

[Little Black Duck]

So all of you should just let it go like it never had happend?

I think you should remember that it happened and learn from it.

Maby i should just delete her email and her phonenummber and change mine, but i found it really hard to do.....

It is but it is the best thing that you can do

Maby i should be happy that i found out now, and not afer a few years building house and maby marrige.

You have it in one

Seriously though you have my sympathy and most likely about 99% of the people reading this forum give you theirs as well because it happens to most of us.

A long time ago a friend of mine told me it takes two relationships to finally get to grips with the rules and the differences between how the game is played at home and here. Think about the problems you faced having relationships at home just because of the difference in gender, then throw in a whole extra set of complications due to economic, social, cultural, religious differences.

If you have rented out your apartment and can stay here in Thailand then you may as well do it, just take your time, learn from the experience and move on. There are lots of great people here, but you need to take care.

Bottom line - you aren't dead or financially destroyed - it happens, so chalk it up to living in the land of smiles.

That is so true..Even some of our wide eyed first timers have been fooled by the Ladies of uncertain gender..

A friend of mine got caught on his very first visit to Pattaya, all very embarrassing but what hurt the most was the Lady??? had a bigger one than him...