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I love you, I rape you: The strange relationship between love, rape, and Thai TV


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I love you, I rape you: The strange relationship between love, rape, and Thai TV

By Claire Nanthayapirom 

 

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A girl is raped while her enemies watch, laugh, and film the event on popular Thai TV show “Club Friday to be Continued.”

 

OPINION — It’s not okay for a man to rape. Unless he’s drop-dead gorgeous, angsty and appears every night at 8pm sharp, right? Yossinee Nanakorn, a Thai producer, certainly thinks so. She told the Bangkok Post, “If it helps drive the story, then we keep it.”

 

For there to be such a supply of these rape scenes disguised as love scenes, there has to be a demand. And there is. This demand is concerning, but more alarming is its fuel: the silent justification of rape. Why? Because justification of rape begets victim-blaming, which robs Thai society, as a whole, of agency.

 

One monumental cause in the justification of rape lies within Thai language: It absolves the perpetrator and blames the victim. Semantically, Thai language is complicit in the justification of sexual violence that occurs on-screen in the country. In Thai, there are two words used to label rape: khom khuen and blum. The former gives an indisputable connotation of crime. The latter, however, enables one to enter into a murky area. Although “blum” does denote forced sex, shockingly, the connotations of this word are not as harsh as that of “khom khuen.”

 

The word “blum” lends itself to conflation with other concepts such as love, lust, and even seduction. This conflation undermines the non-consensual sex that forms the basis of “blum.” The danger in such conflation is illustrated by Arunosha Bhanupan, producer of the soap opera The Power of Shadows. She defines the word “blum” in “theatrical terms” as “an act of love,” or so she said in an interview. 

 

Full story:   https://coconuts.co/bangkok/features/love-rape-strange-relationship-love-rape-thai-tv/

 
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-- © Copyright Coconuts Bangkok 2017-06-05
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And then they wonder why there are so many rape cases (reported and un-reported) in this country.

 

Oh no your honor, it was not rape but 'blum' since she was dressed so provocatively and it woke my inner desire. -said the rapist.

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3 minutes ago, ezflip said:

And then they wonder why there are so many rape cases (reported and un-reported) in this country.

 

Oh no your honor, it was not rape but 'blum' since she was dressed so provocatively and it woke my inner desire. -said the rapist.

That's exactly right.  "waking my inner desire" "she was dressed provocatively" etc are all legitimate excuses here.  Just as "I was enraged" is an excuse to beat someone to a pulp. 

 

A quick trip to the temple and wai the victims family always sorts out any lingering nastiness. 

 

Rape,  gun play,  violence,  racism. Staples of Thai soaps beamed across all channels nightly. No evening meal is complete without it. 

 

Don't forget where farang stand on the totem pole. 

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And in Western society of course we have 'rape culture' on all our University campuses where boys (supposedly need to be taught) that it is wrong to rape!!!  It makes sense to have 2 words for rape and 'blum' indeed is a very murky area.

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A Thai girlfriend once said "I want you to rape me. It is more excite!"

Many of the comments are made from a Western perspective.

While I do not claim to understand, and did NOT honour that request BTW, there seems to be a considerable disconnect in Thai vs usual Western understanding, exemplified by two existing Thai words for it.

Not completely foreign in Western society either; I have more than once been told by women "sometimes no means yes".

No sir. If things get to a certain point and I am told "No", then no it is, and probably forever with that particular person. Too many cases of "rape" after the fact.

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Semantics aside, there is way too much domestic violence on Thai TV. They make it is seem like normal behavior. It is no surprise to me to see the constant flood of violence occurring on a daily basis here. They eat it up like it was rice..

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9 minutes ago, Bill Miller said:

A Thai girlfriend once said "I want you to rape me. It is more excite!"

 

While I do not claim to understand, and did NOT honour that request BTW

Well if she asked you to do it, it obviously wouldn't actually be rape. She's asking you to have rough sex with her while she pretends to resist as part of a rape themed role playing fantasy. She is simply aroused by the thought of rough and forceful dominant sex, whilst being submissive herself.

 

What's not to understand?

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6 hours ago, canuckamuck said:

Semantics aside, there is way too much domestic violence on Thai TV. They make it is seem like normal behavior. It is no surprise to me to see the constant flood of violence occurring on a daily basis here. They eat it up like it was rice..

Average Thai male (not man) is a wild animal who must not lose face

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Semantics aside, there is way too much domestic violence on Thai TV. They make it is seem like normal behavior. It is no surprise to me to see the constant flood of violence occurring on a daily basis here. They eat it up like it was rice..

And then pixelate guns, knifes, naked woman, smoking and alcohol in movies.
But for Thai soap operas everything is allowed.
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13 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Well if she asked you to do it, it obviously wouldn't actually be rape. She's asking you to have rough sex with her while she pretends to resist as part of a rape themed role playing fantasy. She is simply aroused by the thought of rough and forceful dominant sex, whilst being submissive herself.

 

What's not to understand?

I was raised to not rape women. Period. End of story.

Fantasy is the basis for many a convict's incarceration.

What is not to understand?

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14 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Well if she asked you to do it, it obviously wouldn't actually be rape. She's asking you to have rough sex with her while she pretends to resist as part of a rape themed role playing fantasy. She is simply aroused by the thought of rough and forceful dominant sex, whilst being submissive herself.

 

What's not to understand?

My word, that would be extremely risky in most of the Western world.

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20 hours ago, Bill Miller said:

I was raised to not rape women. Period. End of story.

That's lovely but I don't really see what that has to do with two consenting adults engaging in a forced sex based fantasy? Do you not realise it's not actually rape if it's a consenting role play?

20 hours ago, Bill Miller said:

Fantasy is the basis for many a convict's incarceration.

And many, many more people are able to indulge in fantasy with no negative effects.

20 hours ago, Bill Miller said:

What is not to understand?

I'm not the one having any difficulty understanding something.

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1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

That's lovely but I don't really see what that has to do with two consenting adults engaging in a forced sex based fantasy? Do you not realise it's not actually rape if it's a consenting role play?

And many, many more people are able to indulge in fantasy with no negative effects.

I'm not the one having any difficulty understanding something.

Um, yes, you are, actually, but I did not give you the backstory. It is so common I did not think it necessary.
I was arrested on the basis of an untrue accusation because the woman was pissed off about something else... I had won a civil suit against her for money she had borrowed.
It was later Nolle prosequi because she declined to go to the hospital for examination.
I still spent an extremely uncomfortable time in a New Mexico jail,  put out a bunch of money to a bail bondsman, more money for an attorney, and if somebody looked hard enough that information is probably still out there, because a nolle is not the same as  exoneration. It simply means the prosecutor declines to, for whatever reason,  pursue the case.
You see, if you engage in rough play, and somebody decides they don't like the cut of your jib after all, there WILL be evidence of possible/probable rape.
But hey, whatever floats your boat. 
Caveat emptor.
 

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5 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Discussion beforehand and an agreed safe word. Lots of people practice BDSM without any issues. Communication is key.

And you must record everything then !!

 

That was our safe word / no it wasn't / yes it was.

Edited by rogeroc
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