Outdated Marriage

[David9]

I got married in Thailand around 10 years ago, the relationship only lasted a year and went south. I left the country and didn't care about the marriage ever since. Our marriage was registered in Thai, and I didn't register it in my home country. As far as I remembered, the registration is all in Thai language, even my name is in Thai.

 

Couple years later I got married in my home country (again), then I start wondering if this Thai marriage would cause me any trouble in the future. So now I'm thinking about giving this Thai relationship a real ending, a proper divorce, but I'm facing some difficulties.

 

1. My Thai wife had left Thailand for more than 8 years already, likely she's now an illegal alien in the States or somewhere with her new relationship, that she cannot leave where she is or she will never return to the place she is now.

2. For family reason I've changed my name in my home country, so I'm holding a complete new passport with a different name, and different identification number too.

 

So it seems like, unless I claim and prove to the district office that I am that married guy 10 years ago, I cannot file a divorce to the court? But if I don't claim and prove myself, they wouldn't know that I am that guy in the first place. So... what should I do anyway? Sorry I'm a bit confused about myself now, it always happens when I try to clarify this issue, I get stuck and the brain stops ticking, any advises would be appreciated.

[BWPattaya]

If you were still married legally in Thailand you have committed bigamy and your recent marriage could be annulled. If you were lucky your Thai wife may have got a divorce based on your desertion. 

You could ask a lawyer or go to the Amphur where your marriage was registered and ask if your previous wife did get a divorce.

Did you tell your new wife about the Thai marriage. If you did she may be complicit in your bigamy. If you didn't then you have a secret to tell her about. 

 

Good luck

[TGIR]

Not smart to poke a hornet nest.  Leave it.

[biplanebluey]

On 7/8/2017 at 8:47 PM, DD13 said:

A good post with interesting responses

 

[biplanebluey]

DD13-------------- And?????????????

[shaurene]

Changed Your name, new passport. Your previouse wife probably gor married. I would just leave it and carry on the way you are.

only problem that could arise is if she knows where you are and that you got married. She could then blackmail you.   

 

[Autonuaq]

You did not act smart like most foreigner who think thailand and Thai law is not something to worry about.

For idiot like you thai law as well International law has nice sections that cover this. Beside you have two other problems as well.

 

You forgot to register a legal marriage in your home country.

You married by law when you are already legally married.

 

With this you broke several civil and criminal laws in Thailand, International laws and ypur own home country.

Your second marriage is not valid.

So you also hurt someone very deep in her heart too.

 

Your legal Thai wife has all the proof she need if she wants to do you harm and the best you stay out of Thailand or Asean and see if a thai Laywer can arrange the divorce for you.

 

 

 

 

[HHTel]

Oh dear.  You don't have to register a foreign marriage in your own country for it to become legal.  It's legal anyway.

[anon6596585]

True response, Autonuaq, but a little harsh. Who are you to judge his situation he is in or was in. 

 

If the ex Thai wife is not psycho and you have faith she wont start shit ever and you never plan on a future in Thailand, just leave it be but know the risks if she does. 

 

If you think she could cause shit, then yes try and get a lawyer in Thailand to take care of it but get proof from him and verify it from another source after. 

 

Option 2 will be expensive and time consuming but may be needed. 

[hawker9000]

'Sounds like kind of a pickle to me.  If he does nothing, he's subject to a possible bigamy charge.  OTOH, if he follows the advice of some here, and somehow manages to obtain a divorce, that divorce will have a date on it, and that date will be after the date of the 2nd marriage. Still subject to a bigamy charge, if discovered/exposed, isn't he?

 

'Seems to me his only real hope (of staying legal and avoiding any possible extortion over the bigamy), is to somehow get the first marriage annulled (rather than a divorce).  Then it's as if the first marriage never actually happened.  Or, I suppose, he could get the 2nd marriage annulled, tie up the loose ends of the 1st marriage, and then remarry the 2nd girl. 

 

I have absolutely no idea how annulments happen in Thailand, or if, in Thailand, there even IS  such a thing. But if they do, and they happen before a judge or magistrate, I wouldn't think their being aware of the 2nd marriage while considering a petition to annul the 1st would be a terribly good thing ...

 

[williamgeorgeallen]

to anyone reading this think twice about getting married to a thai woman. it makes many problems and legally gives her standing to take your stuff. just do a temple wedding that you can walk away from.

for the OP sounds like you will get away with this but it is time to stop talking about this. hope you have not told anyone other than the thousands of people on this forum.

[Autonuaq]

6 hours ago, jabsjabs said:

True response, Autonuaq, but a little harsh. Who are you to judge his situation he is in or was in. 

 

If the ex Thai wife is not psycho and you have faith she wont start shit ever and you never plan on a future in Thailand, just leave it be but know the risks if she does. 

 

If you think she could cause shit, then yes try and get a lawyer in Thailand to take care of it but get proof from him and verify it from another source after. 

 

Option 2 will be expensive and time consuming but may be needed. 

Not judge him at all, just tell what he did, and the truth is confronting

[Wake Up]

As a retired lawyer I am not giving you legal advice and no lawyer client relationship exists beteeen us. 

I cannot tell you how many good people came to me to clear up something in their past because they had a guilty conscience. Afterwards and against my advice 90 percent of them wished they had left it alone and realized their guilt was not helpful or needed. My suggestion is talk to a counselor for a few sessions. If guilt is controlling your desire to "clean up" your perceived "mess" then get rid of the guilt and move on and let secrets die with you.  Forget the bigamy BS as that simply adds to your guilt unnecessarily. You are a good person. We all make mistakes. Let your mistakes stay dead and don't disturb them. Peace to you --whatever you choose to do. 

Edited July 12, 2017 by Wake Up

[Elkski]

Moral of this story -tell them to find another farang lotto ticket if they insist on marriage. 

[speckio]

I think you screwed up pretty badly!

 

didn't you have to sign an affidavit swearing you aren't married?

changing your name is fine and all but it doesn't change your social security and true identity correct?

if you file for divorce your wife is probably entitled to possessions and possibly earnings.

not sure but it sounds like you might have broken a few laws in both the United States and in Thailand also

You better talk to a real lawyer instead of seeking advice on a forum!

[PeCeDe]

3 hours ago, Wake Up said:

As a retired lawyer I am not giving you legal advice and no lawyer client relationship exists beteeen us. 

I cannot tell you how many good people came to me to clear up something in their past because they had a guilty conscience. Afterwards and against my advice 90 percent of them wished they had left it alone and realized their guilt was not helpful or needed. My suggestion is talk to a counselor for a few sessions. If guilt is controlling your desire to "clean up" your perceived "mess" then get rid of the guilt and move on and let secrets die with you.  Forget the bigamy BS as that simply adds to your guilt unnecessarily. You are a good person. We all make mistakes. Let your mistakes stay dead and don't disturb them. Peace to you --whatever you choose to do. 

Well said "Wake up" as mentioned, the past is gone,  more than likely you won't be successful trying to regularize things without enormous  heartache to yourself and innocent others. Remember that worrying over what is gone can destroy your today, and ruin your future days. Not easy to do but for the sake of others try to forget and move on. Go have a holiday or something with those you love. If it really bothers you, as it seems it does, go see your Doctor, perhaps he can recommend someone you can securely hash it out with.

Edited July 12, 2017 by PeCeDe
added thought.

[madusa]

21 hours ago, BWPattaya said:

If you were still married legally in Thailand you have committed bigamy and your recent marriage could be annulled. If you were lucky your Thai wife may have got a divorce based on your desertion. 

You could ask a lawyer or go to the Amphur where your marriage was registered and ask if your previous wife did get a divorce.

Did you tell your new wife about the Thai marriage. If you did she may be complicit in your bigamy. If you didn't then you have a secret to tell her about. 

 

Good luck

Sounds like a very good answer. 

Edited July 12, 2017 by madusa
change words

[madusa]

6 hours ago, Wake Up said:

As a retired lawyer I am not giving you legal advice and no lawyer client relationship exists beteeen us. 

I cannot tell you how many good people came to me to clear up something in their past because they had a guilty conscience. Afterwards and against my advice 90 percent of them wished they had left it alone and realized their guilt was not helpful or needed. My suggestion is talk to a counselor for a few sessions. If guilt is controlling your desire to "clean up" your perceived "mess" then get rid of the guilt and move on and let secrets die with you.  Forget the bigamy BS as that simply adds to your guilt unnecessarily. You are a good person. We all make mistakes. Let your mistakes stay dead and don't disturb them. Peace to you --whatever you choose to do. 

That sounds like a good piece of advice. More like a zen saying, "Sitting down quietly doing nothing I achieve everything."

If this happened to me at my age, it just not worth doing anything at all, because any time the grim reaper would be visiting me. And I will say to him, "Aren't you kind of late mate?"

[swissie]

In Thailand, if a couple does not live under the same roof (2-3 years) and not knowing of the whereabouts of the partner, an "absentee divorce" can be instigated on grounds of "abandonement". Your Thai-Lawyer will take the necessary steps, including a small ad in a newspaper: "Mr. X is looking for Mrs. Y, legal action pending". With no response, after 3 months, lawyer can attain quick divorce on grounds of "abandonement".

OP: Your former wife may have already gone this route, you not knowing about it. Your lawyer can find out.

Recommendation: Handle this "long-distance" with your Thai-Lawyer. Or have yourself represented by a Farang-Trustee before you enter Thailand for whatever reason.

Why? Your former wife may have filed charges against you (real or trumped-up).
The fact, that OP felt the neeed of changing his name and identity, leaves room for speculation.
Cheers.

[hawker9000]

16 hours ago, Wake Up said:

As a retired lawyer I am not giving you legal advice and no lawyer client relationship exists beteeen us. 

I cannot tell you how many good people came to me to clear up something in their past because they had a guilty conscience. Afterwards and against my advice 90 percent of them wished they had left it alone and realized their guilt was not helpful or needed. My suggestion is talk to a counselor for a few sessions. If guilt is controlling your desire to "clean up" your perceived "mess" then get rid of the guilt and move on and let secrets die with you.  Forget the bigamy BS as that simply adds to your guilt unnecessarily. You are a good person. We all make mistakes. Let your mistakes stay dead and don't disturb them. Peace to you --whatever you choose to do. 

You have a point, but without knowing what the ex-wife might be or might have been or someday might be up to and what legal gremlins might be lurking, I don't see how you can dispense such advice in good conscience.   Plus, there's a third party involved who may be completely innocent and unaware in all this (the OP didn't make clear how much knowledge the new wife has of the situation). 

 

[Ulic]

Move along nothing to see here, wasn't me.............Just asking for a friend.

[Wake Up]

10 hours ago, hawker9000 said:

You have a point, but without knowing what the ex-wife might be or might have been or someday might be up to and what legal gremlins might be lurking, I don't see how you can dispense such advice in good conscience.   Plus, there's a third party involved who may be completely innocent and unaware in all this (the OP didn't make clear how much knowledge the new wife has of the situation). 

 

If gremlins are lurking deal with the gremlins  when they show their ugly head. Otherwise let the gremlins sleep. He loves his wife and she is innocent. She does not need to know everything. Stir up the pot and hurt a bunch of people all because of his guilt or fear. We rarely make good decisions that are based on guilt or fear or anger. That is why I suggested him talking with a counselor.  

 

Some people it is true feel better after exposing all the details to the world and falling on their guilty sword. As a lawyer and counselor my experience is 90 percent of the time you cause more pain than relief and end up in a bigger mess. But the advice is free and I have seen many pay good money to me and other lawyers to make it worse. We are human. We are not perfect. We all screw up. Forgive others and forgive yourself and move on to the future.  Communications between client and lawyer and client and priest or counselor are privileged and cannot be revealed.  My advice to him is Unshackle the  Angkor and let the guilt fall to the bottom of the sea ---- probably never to be seen again. Peace ?

[Jaybott]

There is a good chance she has already divorced you for abandoment; like someone has already mentioned. I'm pretty sure its after 3 years. If she moved on to the US or another western country it makes sense that she'd get divorced before she moved.  I'd take the advice of another and hire a lawyer or para legal to try to find out if she did divorce you. If she did then you'll be OK. If not I wouldn't worry about it.