worried that wife is taking our 8 yr old daughter to thailand

[jenifer d]

12 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

No no no - you stated as a fact that the child is safer in Thailand than in the UK.

 

I at least know that I do not know - therefore I know much more than you know.

 

 

all things considered, the child IS far safer in Thailand than UK; here, extended family and local community are far more likely to watch over the child protectively than in UK...

as far as the rest of your statements, i refuse to get involved in a fight w/you or anybody, just keep thinking you know more than others  (in my experience, that invariably means the exact opposite)

[gamini]

3 hours ago, Andyfez said:

Yes, IMHO you've been living in the uk too long. Reading too many Sunday papers.

It's quite safe here.

Problem is newspapers highlight the unusual. Put the statistics into a proper perspective, and the only worry I would have is to ensure the child is not in the back of a pickup, and the driver is qualified.

I doubt if many Thais married to Brits like living in the UK.  I would hate to have to live there with its terrible climate and food. So you cant blame your wife. She is probably homesick.

[impulse]

11 minutes ago, jenifer d said:

all things considered, the child IS far safer in Thailand than UK; here, extended family and local community are far more likely to watch over the child protectively than in UK...

as far as the rest of your statements, i refuse to get involved in a fight w/you or anybody, just keep thinking you know more than others  (in my experience, that invariably means the exact opposite)

 

Children are much safer in the environment where they have learned the dangers and know what not to do.

 

I have no clue whether the average Thai child is safer than the average UK child.  But that's not what is being discussed here.  The topic is about a kid hopping on a plane to a place she's not familiar with.

 

And that doesn't even address the possibility of a spouse doing a runner with the kid after deciding to call off the marriage without telling the other parent.

 

[jenifer d]

1 minute ago, impulse said:

 

Children are much safer in the environment where they have learned the dangers and know what not to do.

 

I have no clue whether the average Thai child is safer than the average UK child.  But that's not what is being discussed here.  The topic is about a kid hopping on a plane to a place she's not familiar with.

 

And that doesn't even address the possibility of a spouse doing a runner with the kid after deciding to call off the marriage without telling the other parent.

 

good point- reading between the lines of OP, that may actually be what OP is really afraid of...

[cyberfarang]

31 minutes ago, pumpjack said:

mother worked in a bar in bangkok from her late teens ,    came fro m a very very poor family.

 

yes  i think that has affected her parental skills.  

 

she does love her daughter of course but she is just so bloody blind to the dangers of leaving my kid in other peoples hands.

 

once in the village, i looked out the window to see an old guy walking away from my house with my 3 year old in his hands, i ran out grabbed her and shouted at him,    then confronted my wife " who to hell is that taking my daughter "  she replied     " oh, he is friend of husband sister , he good man  , he ok "   

 

can you see my concern ?   

Questions for you?

 

How old is your wife?

 

Are you worried that your wife will go to Thailand with your child and may not return to the UK?

 

How long does she intend to visit Thailand?

 

Your wife would not decide to remain in Thailand with no means of income and become poor. Would she have any ways of making an income in Thailand? For example, working for a family business or even bar work?

 

Is there a chance that she has someone else, either in the UK or in Thailand?

 

If she`s considered too old for bar work, has no means of making an income in Thailand then I would say there would be no problems letting her go there with your child and you`re worrying unnecessarily.

 

 

[minikev]

I don't think you are being paranoid I have seen mothers allowing their kids to roam around unwatched. I think they are used to the extended family around and naturally watching for them as that is the norm in the village. However if they are not used to your child being there they are far less likely to watch her.

As it is important that your wife takes the trip to her homeland to see her family and also simply that she will miss her own culture, weather, food etc etc. You may need to make a decision about what is more important and take time off from work however hard that may be.

If it is simply impossible for you to do this because of finance or maybe you would lose your job then you should keep your daughter with you.

The dangers of your daughter been alone here aren't just from weirdo's which are present in any country they are also from the dangers of so many things that are different here. Should she have been brought up here she would know what these are.  

 

[jeab1980]

So really your woried about not being in control of your wife, and even more woried she wont come back.  Using  your Daughter as a lever to make sure she doesnt leave you. Beware divorce in UK will cost you an arm and a leg.

[peterb17]

4 hours ago, cumgranosalus said:

"i cannot go with them due to work." - so now we have a value you place on your child's care?

 

I think you will find the majority of 8 year old children in Thailand do fine.

 

The problem is not with Thailand the child or your wife...the problem is with you.

Don't you have a holiday coming up- everyone gets a work holiday-add days by working bank holidays, weekends etc ( I realise you may not be able to do that) 

 

Maybe they won't come back? 

[jak2002003]

3 hours ago, Bangkok Barry said:

 

Where does it say anywhere on this thread that he wants to stop his wife going on holiday alone? He is concerned about how she will look after their daughter while they are in Thailand. Check your comprehension skills before criticising others.

First page, 3rd post down.. which is the 2nd post by the OP.

 

''Check your comprehension skills before criticising others''.... wow.... how about I tell you to mind your manners and how you speak to other people you don't even know?  

 

 

[PhuketSarah]

No way should an irresponsible person be allowed to travel with a child,   but can you really stop her? 

[PhuketSarah]

2 hours ago, jenifer d said:

all things considered, the child IS far safer in Thailand than UK; here, extended family and local community are far more likely to watch over the child protectively than in UK...

as far as the rest of your statements, i refuse to get involved in a fight w/you or anybody, just keep thinking you know more than others  (in my experience, that invariably means the exact opposite)

Child is not safer, not when you factor in  road accidents.  Not at all. 

[jeab1980]

3 minutes ago, PhuketSarah said:

No way should an irresponsible person be allowed to travel with a child,   but can you really stop her? 

Careful we only have one side of the story here. Seems to me theres a lot missing to the story as well.

[PhuketSarah]

Just now, jeab1980 said:

Careful we only have one side of the story here. Seems to me theres a lot missing to the story as well.

It's a post on a discussion forum  asking for opinions not  a news documentary. No way I can agree  ditzy mom takes child to 3rd world cesspit.  If I were him in fact, I'd sue for custody just on her leaving the child alone in public.

[csabo]

She was already kidnapped once. Before she was even born. 

[jeab1980]

1 minute ago, PhuketSarah said:

It's a post on a discussion forum  asking for opinions not  a news documentary. No way I can agree  ditzy mom takes child to 3rd world cesspit.  If I were him in fact, I'd sue for custody just on her leaving the child alone in public.

Your post confirms whats bad about expats in Thailand.  Always always jumps to belive anything bad about Thai Mothers.

[Bangkok Barry]

42 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

First page, 3rd post down.. which is the 2nd post by the OP.

 

''Check your comprehension skills before criticising others''.... wow.... how about I tell you to mind your manners and how you speak to other people you don't even know?  

 

 

 

You still don't understand what he wrote, which was that he wasn't going to let his wife take their daughter to Thailand. He didn't write that he wasn't going to let her go alone. Read carefully. Like I said, before you criticise the OP of wanting to chain her to the kitchen sink, it's a good idea to make sure you understand what he actually said.

[Here2008]

16 hours ago, pumpjack said:

so, just reading about child rapists and perverts smacked out on yaba or ice in  issan  and elswhere raping and abducting children  horrifies me .  plus they do have an eye for the 50/50 farang / thai kids i heard before and that thai / farang children are often abducted and sold ( read that on TV years ago )

 

Evidence of paranoia ?  Perhaps the OP (if from the UK) should inform himself of the 'happenings' in places like Rochdale  where child abuse is endemic and industrialised .................. Generally speaking children are safe and well cared for in Thailand.

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, jeab1980 said:

Your post confirms whats bad about expats in Thailand.  Always always jumps to belive anything bad about Thai Mothers.

Well, would that be because there aint much good ?

[Been there done that]

17 minutes ago, Here2008 said:

 

Evidence of paranoia ?  Perhaps the OP (if from the UK) should inform himself of the 'happenings' in places like Rochdale  where child abuse is endemic and industrialised .................. Generally speaking children are safe and well cared for in Thailand.

In the land of the blind , the blind........

[Here2008]

1 minute ago, Been there done that said:

Well, would that be because there aint much good ?

 

An offensive comment!  

[jeab1980]

3 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Well, would that be because there aint much good ?

No mainly beacuse people belive everything they read.

[Been there done that]

2 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

No mainly beacuse people belive everything they read.

Many do yes, I base it on my own parameters and have not seen alot of good parenting here. 

[Been there done that]

4 minutes ago, Here2008 said:

 

An offensive comment!  

Truthful is a better word my friend !

[smotherb]

16 hours ago, chowny77 said:

Two choices. Explain to your wife your concerns and make sure she understands that she must act as a mother should or you let her go and keep your daughter back in the UK with you. The thing with Thai women I have found after 13 yrs of living here is, they think if they scream and stomp around like kids they can get their own way. Man up and tell her the deal.

Do you think this is all Thai women, or just the women you know who scream and stomp if they don't get their own way?

[jeab1980]

5 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Many do yes, I base it on my own parameters and have not seen alot of good parenting here. 

Suggest you actually open your eyes and look around you. Parenting skills here are not just confined to mom and dad its a family thing from sisters/brothers to aunty/uncle to grandparent's. As this does not or very rarley happens in Western countries, people can sometimes miss understand and form an opinion on what they percive to be bad parenting.

[Here2008]

2 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Do you think this is all Thai women, or just the women you know who scream and stomp if they don't get their own way?

Any Thai lady faced with some ignorant foreign 'farang' is entitled to stomp, scream and batter the miscreant !  

[fordguy61mi]

My girl never had kids and I asked her why and she said "Because I too lazy to care for kids". I appreciate that kind of honesty. ?

[tifino]

 

in a worst case scenario,

at least there won't be any Syrian 'immigrants' to worry about while she's over in LOS with the kid 

(they're all in Europe/UK)

 

Would she really tell Thai locals that her kid is a half falang??  (target)

 

 - besides, she'd surely be smart enough to realise that

she'll be charged Double for any and everything she has to pay for

if she admits there's a virtual falang resence in the shadows

[Thongkorn]

Reading between the lines you sound as if you' are not secure in your relationship with your wife,

Thai people seem to not worry about their children as much as western women or men , But i would have concerns if my wife let my  8 year old Daughter wonder off alone anywhere, As for leaving the UK with your Daughter if i am not mistaken she will need written confirmation from both parents, If she does take your Daughter to live in Thaland, she will probably suffer from Racist remarks and actions from other Adults and children , My Friend has just come back becasue of the  attitude and actions towards her half Thai And English daughter, I am reluctant to use Falang as its a backward expression ,

Edited August 6, 2017 by Thongkorn

[Sumarianson]

Undrr no circumstances leave her go alone. I have an 8 year old that was kidnapped to Thailand and the mother is similar now I have big troubles.