Westernized my Thai wife

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, tstcman said:

she's threatening to move us out of here, back into our own place

From personal experience, this is undeniably the best and only viable option. Empower your wife by privately agreeing with her to do this but don't get publicly involved, just appear to be doing what she tells you to do.

[meatboy]

33 minutes ago, Psimbo said:

A- why would you pay a dowry?   it's supposed to be a gesture, not a financial arrangement. This is a huge con these days unless the parents pay it back with in a year.

 

B- why would you want to 'westernise' a Thai- its part of their charm that they aren't fat and have attitude!

if the op.thinks she is westernized,you had better think again,having to borrow money to marry her,if she had a brain she would have got rid of you long ago.

seems your FIL has got the brains and the cash.

[tstcman]

And i have the retirement that cant be touched and can leave if need be

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[SheungWan]

The cat issue may or may not be a totem for other problems in the family, but if it comes to the crunch make it clear that you stand by your wife and will move if that is what she feels is necessary.

[InMyShadow]

Dear God why would you move in with your wife's family???

Why did you borrow from a loan shark?

This scenario is all your doing. I bet your wife is pissed and embarrassed your such a lowsy provider

Sorry but just calling it the way it is

[Jip99]

15 minutes ago, InMyShadow said:

Dear God why would you move in with your wife's family???

Why did you borrow from a loan shark?

This scenario is all your doing. I bet your wife is pissed and embarrassed your such a lowsy provider

Sorry but just calling it the way it is

 

 

<deleted>  boys, can't you see this is wind-up.  ?

 

 

So many many bites from such little bait.

 

 

Next we will hear that he can't afford to show the money for an extension and is on 2 years overstay!

 

Forrest Gump couldn't have written this story any better.

[tstcman]

Dear God why would you move in with your wife's family???

Why did you borrow from a loan shark?

This scenario is all your doing. I bet your wife is pissed and embarrassed your such a lowsy provider

Sorry but just calling it the way it is

I didn't borrow from a loan shark I borrowed from a traditional lender IE a Bank. And I've been paying her bills and helping her family out for 3 years so I don't think I'm a lousy provider

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[Jip99]

4 minutes ago, tstcman said:

I didn't borrow from a loan shark I borrowed from a traditional lender IE a Bank. And I've been paying her bills and helping her family out for 3 years so I don't think I'm a lousy provider

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Wow!

 

How did you manage to get a loan from a Thai bank?

 

 

My financial circumstances are much better than yours, and I couldn't manage that....

[tstcman]

Wow!
 
How did you manage to get a loan from a Thai bank?
 
 
My financial circumstances are much better than yours, and I couldn't manage that....

It was privately arranged through my father-in-law's Police Credit Union Bank. Is the credit union that is at the training center for the police recruits here in Chiang Mai in the San Sai district.

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[billd766]

2 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

Oh dear... living with Thai in-laws is a disastrous idea coming second only to marrying one

 

Marrying a Thai woman was the second best thing I have done in my 73 year life.

 

The first is our 13 year old son.

 

We never lived with my inlaws but my MIL lived with us for the last 7 years of her life.

 

I get on well with my FIL and my wife's 3 brothers.

 

Perhaps being married to a Thai didn't work out for you, but it does for very many farangs that I know.

[tstcman]

 
Marrying a Thai woman was the second best thing I have done in my 73 year life.
 
The first is our 13 year old son.
 
We never lived with my inlaws but my MIL lived with us for the last 7 years of her life.
 
I get on well with my FIL and my wife's 3 brothers.
 
Perhaps being married to a Thai didn't work out for you, but it does for very many farangs that I know.

I can second that. I've been with my wife for three years we've been married for one month and a half. Then in the three years that I dated her before we got married it was contentious to begin with because her father was traditional ex-military retired police that type of personality but once things settle down he seems to be pretty happy because I treat his daughter will and treat his family with respect

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[billd766]

2 hours ago, worgeordie said:

Throw the father out and let the cat stay,it will be more useful to keep vermin in control.

regards worgeordie

 

We have 4 cats and they are all outside cats. They seem to have taken fancy to pigeon as I have found 3 dead ones in the last couple of weeks and I don't see as many around as before.

 

 

I do wish my computer would learn how spell correctly.

Edited August 23, 2017 by billd766
bad spelling

[Jip99]

35 minutes ago, tstcman said:

It was privately arranged through my father-in-law's Police Credit Union Bank. Is the credit union that is at the training center for the police recruits here in Chiang Mai in the San Sai district.

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So is it a bank that you personally borrow from. -  or a credit union ?

 

 

The clues will be in the signed paperwork.

[meatboy]

42 minutes ago, tstcman said:

I can second that. I've been with my wife for three years we've been married for one month and a half. Then in the three years that I dated her before we got married it was contentious to begin with because her father was traditional ex-military retired police that type of personality but once things settle down he seems to be pretty happy because I treat his daughter will and treat his family with respect

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i think we need to give the guy a break,he's been married for over a month,and there's me trying to give him some advice after being in my 28th YEAR,of marriage

one more BE CARFULL, DOES YOU FIL HAVE A GUN.

[Jip99]

6 minutes ago, meatboy said:

i think we need to give the guy a break,he's been married for over a month,and there's me trying to give him some advice after being in my 28th YEAR,of marriage

one more BE CARFULL, DOES YOU FIL HAVE A GUN.

 

 

I suspect you you have been married more than 28 years Meatboy........

[wildewillie89]

Be respectful but firm and things will go your/wife way. Also talk logic, as much as many members don't like to believe Thai follow logic, if you can prove it to be an effective outcome they eventually do listen/change. 

 

Wife and I lived with the in-laws for a while. No dogs inside policy, but when I first got my dog I explained the situation/breed standard, the bond it initially needed and the benefits it will bring to the family. They let it sleep inside and to this day love hanging out with it when they visit. Won't play with their own Labrador or Pug, but will with this dog. They think it's human lol.

 

Family will respect you if you can stand up for not only yourself, but the Mrs and any future family also. They will see you as someone who can look after the family in a loving sense and isn't afraid when it matters. Helped with me as I had a baby at the time so my decision was the final decision. Father in law respected that as he knows farang are more educated and generally do things in a safer way.

 

Westernising shouldn't cause friction. I wouldn't physically leave the drive way unless all members, including mother/father had seat belts on. The first few times I literally sat in the car not moving until they put them on. I showed them the crash test videos as to why I was doing this and the risk to themselves/children they are causing. Now mother in law even wears a helmet for her village run on the motorbike lol.

[samsensam]

its his house, if he doesn't want a cat in it that's his decision. she is disrespecting his home and hospitality. where does she get this attitude? especially in thailand where family and elders are culturally supposed to be respected.

 

if she treats her family like this how's she going to treat you?!

 

assert yourself and tell her to respect her father's wishes.

[Rc2702]

How long you lived there and how much longer you need to live there before the fee is paid off?

 

 

[tstcman]

How long you lived there and how much longer you need to live there before the fee is paid off?
 
 

We have lived with her parents for 3 months. I plan on living with them until they pass away. They told us they are planning on passing the house to us when they pass away

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[Jip99]

2 minutes ago, tstcman said:

We have lived with her parents for 3 months. I plan on living with them until they pass away. They told us they are planning on passing the house to us when they pass away

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That will be the royal "Us".....

[LannaGuy]

3 minutes ago, tstcman said:

We have lived with her parents for 3 months. I plan on living with them until they pass away. They told us they are planning on passing the house to us when they pass away

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Incentive then lol

[Rc2702]

Just now, tstcman said:

We have lived with her parents for 3 months. I plan on living with them until they pass away. They told us they are planning on passing the house to us when they pass away

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So you have basically signed up to 10000 baht a month open ended and when they pass your partner will get the house they should pass on to her anyway? 

 

So you never actually agreed a dowry?

 

How old are they and does she have other siblings?

 

 

[tstcman]

So you have basically signed up to 10000 baht a month open ended and when they pass your partner will get the house they should pass on to her anyway? 
 
So you never actually agreed a dowry?
 
How old are they and does she have other siblings?
 
 

Yes I agreed with the amount for the dowry. Her father is in his late sixties and her mother is in her early sixties. Her brother lives in another Province and has never lived at this house. Her sister is about to buy her own house, and her older sister lives in Bangkok

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[Rc2702]

Just now, tstcman said:

Yes I agreed with the amount for the dowry. Her father is in his late sixties and her mother is in her early sixties. Her brother lives in another Province and has never lived at this house. Her sister is about to buy her own house, and her older sister lives in Bangkok

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So you agreed to pay 10k baht a month for as long as you live there and until they die?

 

You sure the old man is not going to bequeath the payment to one of his sons?

 

 

[ALFREDO]

On 23/8/2560 at 10:49 AM, tstcman said:

Haha right

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I hope its a boy your wife brought - otherwise, same it was with my Gf and a kitten - girl - it will not belong only one cat.  

The problems multiply! 

[ALFREDO]

On 23/8/2560 at 11:42 AM, tstcman said:

And i have the retirement that cant be touched and can leave if need be

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So you not really married 

[ALFREDO]

On 23/8/2560 at 11:38 AM, meatboy said:

 

seems your FIL has got the brains and the cash.

 

On 23/8/2560 at 0:41 PM, tstcman said:

It was privately arranged through my father-in-law's Police Credit Union Bank. 
 

-meatboy- is right - the FIL has very good brain and ideas - to get to the money 

[Rc2702]

I guess it's not that bad a deal but let's say you shelling out another 25k on food and bills a month then I guess at that point living wirh the folks could hinder life a bit. Spacey place?

[ALFREDO]

2 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

How long you lived there and how much longer you need to live there before the fee is paid off?

 

 

Just married -Thai style- only I believe- so he just started paying back.

[tstcman]

I guess it's not that bad a deal but let's say you shelling out another 25k on food and bills a month then I guess at that point living wirh the folks could hinder life a bit. Spacey place?

3 bedroom 2 bath . 4 adults and 1 baby live here

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