Chiang Mai Farangs Unfriendly The Norm

[powwow]

Lived in Chiang Mai for many years and over time have unfortunately discovered a whole new breed of Farang that seem to be unique in unfriendliness and rudeness.

I have experienced curt attitudes in the past from Chiang Mai farangs, and often they make it patently obvious that they don't want to know if other Farangs attempt to attract their attention with a chat, hello or a smile.

But yesterday I suffered the ultimate bad experience that left me feeling downhearted and sad.

I have been seeking a housemaid and yesterday visited the Government job center in Mai Rim for someone suitable. I was not sure which counter to visit that could deal with my enquiry. Walking in front of me was two of my countrymen in their 50s and I thought there is a chance they may have been to the job center before and could assist me. I approached the guy walking on the left and asked if he had any idea which counter I visit to find people searching for work. He and his friend ignored my voice. At first I thought they did not hear me. Still walking the 2 guys went up to a counter, I followed, slightly touched the guy's arm standing on the left and asked my question again. Both these men had their backs to me. They were considerably taller than me and suddenly one guy began swiftly moving backwards, pushing my body hard out of the way. Then he moved forward again to the counter, winking and grinning at his friend.

I felt angry, humiliated and low, almost like being back at school facing bullies.

When I arrived home, my wife could see that I was upset about something. After explaining to her what happened in Mai Rim she said, in the future it is best to do what many other Chiang Mai Farangs do in Chiang Mai when encountering other Farangs and look the other way, also don't speak to them unless they approach first.

Sadly from now on, that is what I shall do. It seems this is the game, and that's how it must be played.

Edited October 3, 2007 by powwow

[cdnvic]

Plenty of fine people I've met in Chiang Mai. Please don't let two a**wipes cloud your judgement.

[Tywais]

Plenty of fine people I've met in Chiang Mai. Please don't let two a**wipes cloud your judgement.

Definitely agree with cdnvic. Don't let one incident cause you to paint all Chiangmai expats with the same brush. Guarantee if you approached me with a question you would not get that kind of attitude and I'm sure the majority of Chiangmai board members would be the same.

BTW, I'm going to move this to the Chiangmai forum for more local input.

[eek]

To be perfectly honest, i have not been the most sociable person since being in CM (personal reasons. (im not weird!! ) Just have needed time on my own), but not once would i say i have been rude to anyone who wanted to chat, ask a question, or offer a smile.

Some people in CM may like their own space for whatever reasons but the men you bumped into were beyond anti-social, they sound just plain nasty.

I have seen farangs here who keep themselves to themselves but nothing of what you described. I would say those men are not the norm, so dont lose heart. Put it down to two very ignorant men who you are better off not knowing and stay your friendly self.

I still hold doors open for people when (esp in thailand ^^) I often do not get the favor returned. I still smile at assistants when some look like they just have eaten something sour. The way i see it is that is it the other persons problem and not mine. Thankfully im still rewarded from time to time by having something wonderfully unexpected and pleasant happen to me in return for my pleasant attitude, that makes it all worthwhile. So dont let this stuff get you down.

[PeaceBlondie]

Not typical at all, in my experience. I met a guy at one bar recently and we talked for hours. I ran into a similar guy a week later, and we talked for an hour. It may have been the same guy; they're kind of all same-same: farang, White, old, lonely for company, talkative, nice, friendly. You meet them all over, like at Immigration and Topps and gogo bars. Sure, there are some sickos, but they're very much the minority.

However, if I make an initial contact like a few words and I'm ignored, I just move on. Maybe they're having a bad day, are handicapped, psycho, male PMS, whatever.

[altman]

i have had farangs intentionally 'jump the line' on me at airports, etc. i do not think all farangs do this, but it may have been past experiences like this that caused their reaction. it is also possible, (likely?), that they were not your countrymen and may not have spoken the language you were speaking. they may have misinterpreted your actions and words.

i think it is the latter that keeps me from trying to communicate with many farang. just what language are they likely to speak? and is it worth it for me to try and find out? generally, no...

[mikethevigoman]

Lived in Chiang Mai for many years and over time have unfortunately discovered a whole new breed of Farang that seem to be unique in unfriendliness and rudeness.

I have experienced curt attitudes in the past from Chiang Mai farangs, and often they make it patently obvious that they don't want to know if other Farangs attempt to attract their attention with a chat, hello or a smile.

But yesterday I suffered the ultimate bad experience that left me feeling downhearted and sad.

I have been seeking a housemaid and yesterday visited the Government job center in Mai Rim for someone suitable. I was not sure which counter to visit that could deal with my enquiry. Walking in front of me was two of my countrymen in their 50s and I thought there is a chance they may have been to the job center before and could assist me. I approached the guy walking on the left and asked if he had any idea which counter I visit to find people searching for work. He and his friend ignored my voice. At first I thought they did not hear me. Still walking the 2 guys went up to a counter, I followed, slightly touched the guy's arm standing on the left and asked my question again. Both these men had their backs to me. They were considerably taller than me and suddenly one guy began swiftly moving backwards, pushing my body hard out of the way. Then he moved forward again to the counter, winking and grinning at his friend.

I felt angry, humiliated and low, almost like being back at school facing bullies.

When I arrived home, my wife could see that I was upset about something. After explaining to her what happened in Mai Rim she said, in the future it is best to do what many other Chiang Mai Farangs do in Chiang Mai when encountering other Farangs and look the other way, also don't speak to them unless they approach first.

Sadly from now on, that is what I shall do. It seems this is the game, and that's how it must be played.

Unfortunatly you stumbed across 2 @ssholes,. as other members have said there are many more that arent but i do know what you mean ,.lets hope they fall down a hole in the road or something ! i used to be a bit over sensitive ,i remember having an incident and letting it ride, then minutes later i drove off after them in a rage and when they spotted me wouldnt stop,,now id leave it and just consider them a couple of people i dont want to talk to really anyway,.

[SDH]

[/font][/size]I have experienced curt attitudes in the past from Chiang Mai farangs, and often they make it patently obvious that they don't want to know if other Farangs attempt to attract their attention with a chat, hello or a smile.

I was reading your post and thought to myself, this could be me with the curt attitude! I often can be seen with the belligerent attitude to other Farangs the thing is after years of living overseas and about 4-5 of the last of them in Thailand it gets hard on your head .

For example has anyones evr noticed that there are no cooks or drivers in the military in Thailand (expats), everyone I've ever talked to that is X-Forces are either Rangers, Special Forces, Black Op's, CIA, SAS etc . After hearing this crock o siht for years you become weary of strangers.

However I've never ever given the cold shoulder to someone who asked a polite and direct question like you did, let alone what I consider an assault on them. These are the same kind of guys who wind up with a bottle cracked over their heads in the locals around town. They keep that up and they will certainly find out they are not as bad a_ss as they think they are!

Keep the faith ,

SDH.

[likite]

Your experience shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to you if you have read some of the comments posted here on various topics that are made on this Chiang Mai forum - some from people who would like to think they are educated.

Farangs come here for many many reasons and some don't really have their head on some/or all of the time. The majority are fine and your experience is not usual from my time living here.

I had thought that farangs living in a foriegn country would stick together a little more than if they were in their own country, but I soon found that was not the case. Maybe there is strong sense of insecurity with some, but I've never been able to work out any more than that.

I think what happened was a one off.........nothing personal.

[yeoldesage]

Pop into The Pub on Friday and join the rest of us friendy types in the weekly quiz, may help you see that there are some friendly farangs around. May not all be the sharpest tools in the box but at least know how to make you feel welcome. www.thepubchiangmai.com- See you there!

[BlackArtemis]

I have met bigger <deleted> online than in real life. but it seems these two get the award for being some of the biggest.

[Puwa]

Yeah it's always disappointing to encounter people like that. Those guys acted that way because they have some kind of pitiful problem; no reason to make it your problem as well. Just let it (and them) go, and continue enjoying what's good about life here.

For my part, I consider myself friendly but a bit guarded at first. I try to treat everyone the same--Thai, farang, whatever. I don't assume that I have more or less in common with anyone based on skin color, native language, or nationality. Often a farang stranger will approach to complain about "them," meaning Thais. Why do they do this? Why do they do that? Back in San Diego/ Brisbane/ Manchester/ Oslo/ Frankfurt/ we do things differently. It's a really weird experience, and fairly frequent too. As if the guy (almost always a guy) has this uncontainable confusion and is going around expressing it to anyone he thinks he can reveal it to. I guess they assume that because I am white I hold the same perceptions and prejudices. But I usually don't, and so despite speaking the same language and having the same country's passport in our pockets, we don't have all that much in common. This doesn't mean that I am an uncritical apologist for all things Thai. I just prefer to deal with people as individuals rather than representatives of some ethnic or other group. I don't mean to be aloof (my wife tells me I am aloof), but I think I just remain noncommittal until I get a sense for who I am talking to. Farang and Thai alike, there are a lot of wackos running around.

[tigerbeer]

some chiang mai farangs are extremely rude. some of them here on TV too.

"a know it all attitude"

nevertheless, don't let it get you all worked up. many nice people around too.

[Donnyboy]

some chiang mai farangs are extremely rude. some of them here on TV too.

"a know it all attitude"

nevertheless, don't let it get you all worked up. many nice people around too.

you included TigerBeer

you going to Tuskers Saturday? Come and watch a grown man cry, namely Milton Bentley, when England crash out of the Rugby World Cup

[Sanpatong]

In my defence though, I'm trying to get shit done at the govt office, and on my back taps this dreadlocked red-faced bearded aboriginal looking dude with horns growing out of his skull.

I mean, I know looks aren't everything but I'll admit you threw me a bit there.

Generally speaking though in such cases, best to ask a civil-servanty looking Thai guy or gal with questions you prefer a solid answer to.

Edited October 3, 2007 by Sanpatong

[miltonbentley]

you going to Tuskers Saturday? Come and watch a grown man cry, namely Milton Bentley, when England crash out of the Rugby World Cup biggrin.gif

tears of joy Donny tears of joy! At least no one expects us to win. Your chaps on the other hand . . . .

[chownah]

Maybe they don't speak English....maybe you were standing too close to them...

There are rude people everywhere.....if you feel sad because you met two people who didn't want to deal with you and it makes you sad then perhaps this is a sign that you are desperate for companionship. If you are desperate for companionship then the best thing is to realise this and spend some time and energy to specifically seek out companions rather than to rely on chance encounters to provide your companionship. I'm not trying to flame you....I'm just trying to find a way so that you don't feel sad just because you happen to meet to people who are perhaps rude. Seems like there are rude people all over the world and there is no reason to have a sadness attack just because you ran into a couple of them....I think you need more companion activity.

Chownah

[Ulysses G.]

....maybe you were standing too close to them...

There are rude people everywhere.....if you feel sad because you met two people who didn't want to deal with you and it makes you sad then perhaps this is a sign that you are desperate for companionship. If you are desperate for companionship then the best thing is to realise this and spend some time and energy to specifically seek out companions rather than to rely on chance encounters to provide your companionship.

In other words, boycott desperate sad-sacks seeking companionship!

[jackr]

you going to Tuskers Saturday? Come and watch a grown man cry, namely Milton Bentley, when England crash out of the Rugby World Cup biggrin.gif

tears of joy Donny tears of joy! At least no one expects us to win. Your chaps on the other hand . . . .

Exactly mate, no worries there. At least we stuffed the convicts on their own turf in the 03 . When was the last time the sheep shaggers won!? Oh yeah, two decades ago . Be rather amusing to see em fumble and totter home with udders between legs Sorry Chuchok

[amexpat]

I find most falangs to be aloof at first. Maybe it is a cultural difference I am still learning about but I find that most of the UK people and many Europeans I meet are quite happy to talk, often at great length, as long as I initiate the conversation. Usually some eye contact and a nod signals it's OK.

This has forced me to change a bit because I am usually rather distant myself. I still turn away when someone approaches quickly and asks "Do you speak English?" - that sets off my scam alert.

[adjan jb]

Walking in front of me was two of my countrymen in their 50s

Not all Farangs are unfriendly. Maybe just some of your countrymen.

Btw, are you an American ?

[Ulysses G.]

ajarn jb is French and the only American he likes is Jim Morrison and he is dead.

[adjan jb]

ajarn jb is French and the only American he likes is Jim Morrison and he is dead.

And he died in France.

[Bardamu]

Personally, i find many of the expat community irksome and tiresome. Too many retirees complaining and grumbling because they have little to do with all the time they've scooped for themselves. I don't blame you for feeling upset, i would have just told the two men they were ignorant w#%kers. Maybe you are not quite so hot tempered.

I am happy to help anyone who needs my help but i must say that my 'countrymen' are mostly spoiled rich brats who pretend to respect the Thais but in reality think they are nothing but inferiors. Sad nationalists that i have no time for. Most of the rest are disgruntled alcoholics who do nothing but talk about beer and try and chat up young hookers under the guise of 'serious relationship'. Who needs these people?

Just like anywhere in the world my friend, you will find very few people who you truly enjoy the company of . . . and just like anywhere in the world you will be reviled by many. Don't get upset, people are walking disasters most of the time. To think that your nation or skin colour matters, well, you'll have to grow out of that.

[Nienke]

I am happy to help anyone who needs my help but i must say that my 'countrymen' are mostly spoiled rich brats who pretend to respect the Thais but in reality think they are nothing but inferiors. Sad nationalists that i have no time for. Most of the rest are disgruntled alcoholics who do nothing but talk about beer and try and chat up young hookers under the guise of 'serious relationship'.

As I run a dog and cat boarding kennel for some years now, I come across many foreigners; solo, with foreign or Thai partner, from all different age classes, different backgrounds, different religions, etc.

I certainly do not agree with the abovementioned. There might be some who are 'rich' brats, some who look down on the Thai people, some who drink more than that's good for their health, some who have deep down inside a problem with themselves, but will never admit it (sure enough I belong to the last group )

But they certainly aren't the majority. It all depends with whom you interact and where and when you meet them. A lot depends on your own perspective.

If you like to meet them, join one of the (hobby) clubs, a sports activity, CEC meetings, one of the many (charity) concerts that are held lately, if you're American go to the 4th July or Christmas celebrations, church, or Tuskers (believe it or not but I did meet quite some 'normal' people there ), etc.

Just look around, and open up to the many nice and very interesting people Chiang Mai has.

Nienke

[tigerbeer]

Most of the rest are disgruntled alcoholics who do nothing but talk about beer and try and chat up young hookers under the guise of 'serious relationship'.

I thought it was the other way round on the hookers part.

TB

[polecat]

Well, maybe those two guys weren't @holes. Something that annoys me is when farang expect you to have time for them because you share a skin colour. I'm not going to start a conversation with someone just because we are both wearing socks and sandals and suffer from BO. And I still don't understand why the OP had to approach anyone other than the information desk. I wonder how the maligned pair related the story?

Chiang Mai is not a tiny village where everybody knows or cares about other people's business and I reserve the right to ignore any random farang who approaches me thinking I'm a freaking tour guide or information centre. I've got things to do. Ring a hotline. Ring your mum.

[Donnyboy]

you going to Tuskers Saturday? Come and watch a grown man cry, namely Milton Bentley, when England crash out of the Rugby World Cup biggrin.gif

tears of joy Donny tears of joy! At least no one expects us to win. Your chaps on the other hand . . . .

Exactly mate, no worries there. At least we stuffed the convicts on their own turf in the 03 . When was the last time the sheep shaggers won!? Oh yeah, two decades ago . Be rather amusing to see em fumble and totter home with udders between legs Sorry Chuchok

didnt we stuff "the best prepared Lions team ever" in '05, followed by a Grand Slam later that year? Come on, you better have more than cheap shots of "sheep shaggers" and "udders between legs". We will do our talking on the field.

I think the words "fun perter" comes to mind when you think England will win against Oz this weekend. Mind you, they will score 100% more points than they did against South Africa.

granted, NZ hasnt had much success in 20 years in the RWC, but our Rugby winning stats overall are second to none. Would you like me to start and give you the list?

Back on topic, no unfriendly farang in CM- just cheeky ones occassionally, nothing like a bitch slap to keep em quiet thou

[adjan jb]

Back on topic, no unfriendly farang in CM- just cheeky ones occassionally, nothing like a bitch slap to keep em quiet thou

There are much more unfriendly Farangs in Farangstan.

[neilrob]

I reserve the right to ignore any random farang who approaches me thinking I'm a freaking tour guide or information centre.

Hmm. I've met no more than one or two unfriendly farangs in my year in Chiang Mai, and a large number of friendly, interesting people, both farangs and Thais. However, this poster sounds like an addition to the unfriendly camp. To my way of thinking, ignoring people who approach you with a question is simply rude, whether they are farang, Thai or whatever.