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andiwilson

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Hi boys and girls,

I'm hoping that I can pick the brains of you guys as I plan my wedding and eventual full time move to Thailand.

Let me introduce myself, 44 year old English engineer currently working in Norway. Have a home in small village called Bandua which is between Nong Bua Daeng and Kaset Sombun. Will be getting married on 2nd January next year, the only lucky day from three months that I suggested to her father.

I have quite a lot of family and friends coming to the wedding and am finding it hard to get accomodation for them all in the village. The alternatives I've found so far are Siam River Resort in Chaiyaphum or there are some bungalows in Tat Ton national park that I will go have a look at when I'm up in a couple of weeks. Both of these look nice but if will be a forty minute jouney to/from Bandua. Do any of you have any other ideas?

I have thought about suggesting to my future wife's, Noi, family that we hold the morning part of the wedding at the family home then for the later party bus everyone to Tat Ton national park for a big bbq /music/drink bash. There are large places for all the Thais to stay there too and this would cut out the need for any one to travel after the party but I would put on transport for those that want to go home. Everyone could then have a day out swimming in the river etc. a holiday for the whole family. Yes I realise I'm thinking of taking the village on my honeymoon. I've not approached my girlfriend about this as I'm worried it might offend the family not holding all the wedding at their home. I will be paying for the wedding so that is not an issue for them.

I have an idea about getting an elephant to ride when me and my family walk to the family's house Then have the give the children rides on this and have someone take and print photos as presents for the kids. This sounds like a good idea to me but would the Thais think this fun/good or would I look like fool to them? Getting the elephant I'm told is no problem.

Any advice is welcome.

Andy

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Sounds like a great plan Andy. May I suggest renting tents, tables, chairs, stage, and a kareoke machine. for after the morning ceremony at the family home. Have the women decorate them the day before ending with a party for them and family. Have your friends stay with the family and sleep on the floor, this will give a memory that will last forever and a chance for your new family to proove them. We had our flowers flown in from bkk, we hired a photographer who arranged the purchase and had them flown in with him. 1 orchid for each table, one hanging arrangment for each tent, plus, plus, plus. We paid a local caterer to do all cooking for us while the wedding was going on. As for moving the party to a new location. We did. We bussed everyone to the shore at a luxury hotel for the party and then back. Only close friends and family stayed at a seperate hotel. Have your fiance do all the planning. Give her a budget that you can live with. Oh one more thing. The half million baht sinsod was returned to us by the father after the night was over. Big surprise! Good luck to you and your future wife.

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Just a thought. Every "upcountry" Issan wedding that I've attended consisted of a ceremony and usually big/huge party in the wife's village. This includes Farang/Thai and Thai/Thai weddings (if they can afford it). I might suggest letting the wife and her family do what they do best and organize this event. Then you and your family/friends can see what an Issan wedding is all about (if haven't seen before). Again, just a thought. Good luck and have fun. :o

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Andy, your heart is in the right place, but please pause for a moment and think how your well-meaning plan might backfire.

Thais are very polite, and can't bring themselves to say "No" to someone who clearly is hoping that they will say "Yes".

So you would think that they had welcomed your plan to 'do something different'.

But, ever after, you are going to be seen as a 'clever-dick' farang who thought he knew better, but made his wife's family lose face.

In my opinion, you would do better to let them hold the wedding in the normal way in the normal place. And accept their advice as to all the arrangements. (You could 'casually' sound out your wife about your alternative idea, but then leave it to her to decide.)

It may be a bit inconvenient for your guests, but that is an infinitesimal matter compared to you starting off your relationship with your wife's family in such a disturbing way.

When a woman marries a man, it is a notable event for all her village, as symbolised by that marquee on the road outside her parents' house to which ALL are invited to drop in. (And which may cause all the traffic to have to wend its away around a detour---but even the 'siplor' drivers will put up with being greatly inconvenienced for such a village occasion.)

I am fortunate in that my wife (who was born with a strong personality anyway) has had enough experience of farangs and faranglands that she can say: "Stoopid. Thai different farang. Thai custom is...... We do Thai way." when I come up with innovative ideas that seem to be good ideas to me, but will give her problems with the extended family and will give the extended family problems with the wider community.

Her view is that is OK for us to be unconventional when we go to England, but in Thailand 'we do it the Thai way'.

You will score yourself 'brownie points' and help your wife and her family no end by being seen to respect Thai 'custom and practice' and doing your best to fit to it. "Manners makyth Man' here in Thailand, too; but here being innovative is not seen as having a refreshing manner.

Sorry to give you an answer that you weren't looking for. But that's what I think.

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Another thing that needs to be considered is the weather. Tat Ton national park is lovely and the bungalows are ok but swimming in January? I was there last January and it was bloody freezing. My wife would get dressed under the blankets and run downstairs to gather wood for a fire so we could defrost. I guess it was about 25-28 centigrade which is hot for many people but for those acclimatised to Thai weather it is more than a little nippy!

Good luck anyway and i hope all chaiyaphum TV members are invited to the celebrations :o

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Martin, no need to appologise as I wasn't 100% sure my idea would go down well with the family and that's why I came on here to get advice from more knowing people. There's no such thing as a stupid question and people shouldn't be afraid to ask about stuff they aren't sure about. I'd forgotten how cold Thais think January is. I still want to have an elephant for the children though, I've mentioned this to Noi and she thinks it is a wonderfull idea. She went further and said I should get elephants for all my family but think how much elephant poo that would cause. I believe elephants don't like to be alone so maybe two.

On the subject of money for the family, when I sat down with the family to discuss this they said that if I paid for the wedding they didn't care what I gave them as I had proved to them that I can and will look after their daughter. I have thought to give them 77,777baht as a symbol lucky figure. Good idea?

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That elephant poo is multi-purpose useful stuff.

I have some notepaper here made from it, that I got at that elephant training place near Lampang.

Must be crap paper. (groaner - sorry). :o I gave 99,999 baht at my wedding and it was returned right after. I also agree regarding having the family do the organizing, as mine did, or else you will probably end up making countless mistakes. If you want to go somewhere, such as the park, do it for the honeymoon. That way you can make her and the family happy.

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Actually, it is not a totally crap form of paper.

It isn't brilliant to write on (too hard and rough), but it is good for a laugh as paper for short notes.

But no way would I recommend it for use in the 'hong nam', for the reasons above.

The man who was managing the little production facility told me that it varies quite a bit, depending on what they are feeding to the elephants.

I think that I remember him saying that the paper that I bought was from a time when the elephants were being fed sugarcane.

Presumably lots of tourists feeding bananas to the elephants might result in something softer and smoother!

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  • 4 months later...

Hi Andiwilson

Found your post when I did a search for Nong Bua Daeng.

My wife and I have a house quite close to your village (Bandua). Our house is at Banjermern, it is on the main road Nong Bua Daeng - Kaset Sombun. My wife arranged for it to be built over the course of 2007 and I was out there with her for a holiday in February 2008. Our house is the one on the road that some of the locals call "the big pink house that stands alone".

When I mentioned your post to her she said she remembered seeing a farang man who lives in Bandua and who was married in January 2008. She says she met you for few minutes when she just went to say hello and you speak Thai good. We hope your wedding went well.

You will find there is a little community of farang ex-pats in the area. In Nong Bua Daeng you will have to visit the small Thai shop known locally as "Farang Corner" where many of the expats meet up and sit down for a drink and networking.

There are a couple of English guys and a German in the next village along from ours; and also a Swedish man whom I have not met in Bandua. You will meet Brits, a Canadian and Americans at Farang Corner.

Just after Kaset Sombun, on the main road, you will find a Swedish man ("Pontious") who runs a cocktail bar and restaurant on the land next to his house. It was while on a night out at the cocktail bar operated by Pontious that I bumped into another Swedish man who lives in the area also.

My wife and I are hoping to move out to our Thai house later this year so maybe we will meet up with you then. The ex-pat community near Bandua is thriving it seems.

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  • 3 years later...

hello

I'm from belgium , my name is Jean-Noël

and i come to live in "Nathaleu" +/_ 10 miles from Nong bua daeng

Now i have a shop hose interior decoration ( www.nique.be ) but i'm 50 and live in europe a bit MUCH tired (too many rules and regulations---we will soon live in Europe like ants---all in a row in the same direction walking !!!

I am too young to live on savings, i would like to start a little business (shop ---company) someone has an idea ?

Yours sincerely

Jean-Noël from Belgium

And when i go to live in "Nathaleu" can i move my household items FREE OF TAX's import to thailand by sea-container transport ?

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bah.gif

what business type?

Noodle shop franchises.

yeah we don't have enough of them around here eh? ohmy.gif

OK......the first Burger King franchise? B)

Yikes.... you know how I feel about them, Hungry Jacks where I'm from... but I do like their grilled chicken burger... have 1 a year!

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